1.5 Knights of the Blood Oak

[Bjorn Firewalker]

How about naming the tower "Corvinus' Spear", after a hero of the Chapter? The name "Corvinus" is related to the Latin word for "Raven".

[gripschi]

How about naming the tower "Corvinus' Spear", after a hero of the Chapter? The name "Corvinus" is related to the Latin word for "Raven".

Good Idea. Maybe i can hear incoperate Lanzac, a planed idealistic hero of the chapter.

 

Lanzac et Corvvinius

[gripschi]

Hi,

 

 i have udpated the IA. i hope i didnt make to much new grammar failures. Somehow i managed to update my IA on my Laptop wrong.

i have mostly minor changes, some things like the use of oak wood still miss, and the Equipment/Doctrine need later a rework too. For now its a fix in which direction it go.

 

i play with the tought of adding the Lances Longinus and Casius, like the Emperor engrave names in it, forcing the choosen wearer become its nemesis and consume him in the process. As now it didnt hinder the Imperium but rather help in critical events.

 

A tale of the actual situation after the great rift. It isnt happy cake time there too =)

I plan to add some pieces later, involving the swords with the demon essence, maybe as a added bait for him. Also the Invasion and inceration need further explantion.

 

War over the Northern Heights

 

Around M41, the Northern Segment came regular under attack from Orks, Chaos Raiders and spontaneous rebellions. Which forced them to invest a steadily influx of Fleets and Regiments.

Alarmed through this, the Blood Circle, investigate the Area. Finally reaching the conclusion, the Boar Headed is returning. In secret, they stationed even more Assets there.

Around M41.549, after a bloody up-rise consume the hive-World Fargon, the Materium collapsed and the Warp consumed the planet. Out of the Rift, emerge a Chaos Armada, quickly attacking the weakened Defenders. Due the timely intervention of the KotBO, they managed to engage them in delay battles.

 

To further worsen the situation, the Orks launched a Waagh! Toward the Shield World Gontabu, binding more of the thin stretched forces. Luckily for the Defenders, the Equites Rhenus dispatched a permanent Watch, which helped to transit every corner of the World into a defense structure.

As a direct result, the complete Sector start shifting in a state of Total War, the quiet times before, don‘t ease the transition. But slowly new Troops and Equipment reach the pressed Defenders. But the Boar Headed, bid his time, not showing himself.

 

With the opening of the Great Rift, and the fall of Cadia, many believed the end is near. But they choose to invest all they could to fend the Enemy off, which attack out of every direction. All able Citizens not needed in the expanded Manufacturing Sites, joined the Front lines.   

 

Around the time the Indomitus Crusade launched from Terra, the Northern Front started to crumble. If not for the Intervention of the Eldar, the Defenders would be overrun soon.

The Chapter agreed to a risky plan, invade Fargon, incinerate the Warp with a old Eldar device. Which would out burn the infected Region. Leaving nothing behind. Named Operation Andromeda, knowing well, they will most likely not return and under other circumstances not a option.

The Operations First Phase was a Full Out Attack along the whole front towards Fargon, leading the Enemy to fierce counter attacks, spreading there forces out. Unknown to the Commanders, they were only a bait. A success or retreat not possible, the whole point is to buy time.

 

In the wake of this, Eldar Forces start to pinpoint Chaos Sorcerers and strength the Materium once again. The Astartes Psykers start to engage in pointless battles with the Boar Headed to dilute his sight of the flow of fate. Million Troops under Arms, believe firm in the recapture of Fargon.

When the Demon make his fist move to open a path for a direct engagement, the Honorary Covenant took this bait. Soon they took the battle on the now Demon World, only the timley arrival of the Torchbearer Fleet. With them, they were able to successfully plant the Devise. The remainder flee through the Webway, leaving there Chapter Master and a handful of his Psykers and Sisters of Silence, to bind the Boar Headed in Combat till the end.

 

To late he saw the truth, the humans had played him in his own game, his Lord forsake him his favour. His last tough before his erase, was joy, after all he took revenge on the foul Eldar.

The device consumed a third of the Region, which now function as a buffer zone, allow the Defenders to reform there Lines. The loss of the Troops and Worlds lay hard, but the thread was banished. Hope was once more there. Most of the surviving troops joined the ongoing Battle of Gontabu, which were under attack from Chaos Hordes too.

The Torchbearer, choose to stay, as they not made yet contact with all there Targets. The Bulk of the Crusade dispatch towards Gontabu and establish at the Ice World of Fyrnstein a new Logistic Fortress to supply the Front.  

 

 

And a first draft of the Sector:

 

Edited January 25, 2021 by gripschi

[Bjorn Firewalker]

The Chapter is itself organized in 7 Great Houses with about 300 Astartes and 1 Secret Order. They are called Great House of the Lions, Dragons, Horses, Bulls, Axes, Towers and the Boar Headed.

A location, the Boar-headed Demon of Tzechnet, seek for his foul plans.

It seems like one of the Chapter's Great Houses has a Daemon of Tzeentch as a namesake. Are the Knight's of the Boar Headed sworn to destroy the Boar-headed Daemon of Tzeentch, to avenge an insult the Daemon gave to the Chapter? Or is it the other way around, e.g., the Daemon named himself the "Boar Headed" to defame the Great House, as revenge for a defeat he suffered at the Knights' hands, when he was mortal?

And why is Tzeentch's name spelled "Tzechnet"?

His last tough before his erase, was joy,

This is poorly worded. I think you meant, "His last thought before his erasure," (emphasis mine).

[gripschi]

His first presence was during the HH as he suffered a defeat against the eldar and some Ultramarine Legionares. Later he died again as Martyr of the Chruch during the founbding of the sector.

 

In my fluf, during the first time they banned him, he possed the Chapter Master of the Ashen Knights, known as the Boar-headed. He was pretty much a galleon figure which hold the sector togehter. Which were needed to gain the necessary resources to fulfill his plan.

 

After the conclusion, they choosed to embramce the fallen Chapter Master as Hero throughout sector. As his name was widly associated with the Astartes and his service against the neormus tihes. They feared the truth would lure in the Inquistion and break the sector apart. Was it the right decsion? How knows.

 

The Boar-headed House, is like the 1st Company, the noblest of the houses and direct lineage of the fallen hero. In truth his genetic lineage got complety removed from the chapter.

 

The full turth is only known the higher echolon of the blood circle, the great houses know only part of it. The ciricle search active for his presence and ways to battle him. They have to this purporse a mortal organisation, which did most of the front work and data gathering.

 

I hope my response make sense =)

[Bjorn Firewalker]

More nitpicking:

Gene-Seed (Predecessor):...............XII Legion (Ultramarines)

The XII (12th) Legion were the World Eaters. The XIII (13th) Legion were the Ultramarines.

[gripschi]

Hey Folks,

 

i didnt engage active a while now. But still worked on these Chapter. Which i finally was able to reworte in a way which satisfie me. Iam still missing some Parts like Battle Cry, Armour Colour and some Culture traits.

 

Where iam unsure to put in as Culture trait is following:

 

In the Books, the new novice start to build towers, which are there home during the training and later there Graves. The remants of them would be bared in a metal coffin. So far pretty easy, but i image that there are many towers over the time. As they primarly recruit in there fiefdom, as well in in there keeps under the jurisdiction of the great Houses to some degree. Should it be a tradition unique to Valloncour, or to all? My hestiation come from the sheer space these towers would take up and the need of upkeep through zhe Serfs.

 

Maybe someone can help me with it?

 

For now it is the new base upon i want to finish them =)

 

Thanks in Advance.

[Brother Lunkhead]

Sorry it's been a while since I've had a chance to comment (although, you may not be sorry at all). I have been following though, and have enjoyed your updates.

 

 

 

Where iam unsure to put in as Culture trait is following:

 

In the Books, the new novice start to build towers, which are there home during the training and later there Graves. The remants of them would be bared in a metal coffin. So far pretty easy, but i image that there are many towers over the time. As they primarly recruit in there fiefdom, as well in in there keeps under the jurisdiction of the great Houses to some degree. Should it be a tradition unique to Valloncour, or to all? My hestiation come from the sheer space these towers would take up and the need of upkeep through zhe Serfs.

I like this idea a lot, but it's a real conundrum as to how to fit this in as a chapter wide tradition given the decentralized nature of the Chapter and the training of neophytes. You might be better off developing this as a tradition of a specific fiefdom. As to space and upkeep requirements, I don't see this as a problem at all. 40K is all about the BIG

 

While perusing the main chapter article, I came across this:

 

All tough only boys are able to become Astartes, the Chapter take girls in too. After the selection process they get handed over to various Adeptus Soritas Orders or the various Chapter Serfs Households. As they are in need of a steadily influx of recruits too.

The basic idea is fine, as the demand for trained support staff (serfs) definitely crosses male/female barriers. This will also serve well for increasing the pool of genetically healthy serfs. However, I see a problem with the idea of handing any of these girls over to Sororitas orders. Even though there are many examples of Astartes chapters fighting side by side and aiding Sororitas orders, these alliances are fraught with tension. Many (if not all) Sisterhood orders view Astartes with some or intense suspicion, as they are trans-human (i.e. non-human or even ab-human), so I imagine anything supplied to them by Space Marine chapters will be viewed with suspicion. Also, the Sisters do their own recruiting, and given that "pride" is a huge trait in all 40K organizations, being offered recruits by another organization would be an affront. After all, how would an Astartes chapter feel about the SOB offering male recruits to them?

[gripschi]

Iam truly sorry and deeply offended by our lack of faith in me. But the work of IA is a gruelsome and delicate task.

But i appericate your Input, it is everytime helpfull to see other sights.

 

1. maybe i can find a middleway, something like the shared expierence of a togehter build home and grave, maybe i stick as tradition towards there Fiefdom, a tradition embraced by the first settlers of the world, and as a honor when a Brother outside of these Fiefdoms Great House earn a grave there

 

2. it heavily depend on the Sororitas Order, the sources are very diverse on the stances, as these sector endured a purge and rebuild through the chapter, which venerate the BigE as God, invloved in the People Life to some degree and particpating in holy events, the tension should not be present in any conering way, maybe i implent it as oaths, that only the expectional ones got recommend to the Chapters

 

2.1. In my Eyes they would accept then, knowing only execptional boys would be offered

 

And your comment of pride is right, they are Pridefull but still very humble worshippers and concerned of the Sectors wellbeing

[Brother Lunkhead]

Iam truly sorry and deeply offended by our lack of faith in me. But the work of IA is a gruelsome and delicate task.

But i appericate your Input, it is everytime helpfull to see other sights.

Not quite sure what you mean here. I'm sure there is not lack of faith in you or your chapter here. However, developing an IA is indeed a "gruelsome" task

 

 

1. maybe i can find a middleway, something like the shared expierence of a togehter build home and grave, maybe i stick as tradition towards there Fiefdom, a tradition embraced by the first settlers of the world, and as a honor when a Brother outside of these Fiefdoms Great House earn a grave there

That would work quite well. Just fill in the details.

 

 

2. it heavily depend on the Sororitas Order, the sources are very diverse on the stances, as these sector endured a purge and rebuild through the chapter, which venerate the BigE as God, invloved in the People Life to some degree and particpating in holy events, the tension should not be present in any conering way, maybe i implent it as oaths, that only the expectional ones got recommend to the Chapters

 

2.1. In my Eyes they would accept then, knowing only execptional boys would be offered

Keep in mind that intolerance in the 40Kverse is the rule, not the exception.

 

 

And your comment of pride is right, they are Pridefull but still very humble worshippers and concerned of the Sectors wellbeing

Never underestimate the power of pride to undermine practical need (including survival). It has lead to the destruction of more than one Space Marine chapter.  Even in the real world, an overabundance of pride has lead to the downfall of many a culture, nation, corporation, etc.

 

This is of course, is your chapter, and you should tell its story as you see fit. I'm just saying that you're sort of spitting into the wind here.

Edited April 19, 2021 by Brother Lunkhead

[gripschi]

^^

 

I will reflect on the Intolerance Topic, atm i see it as long as they stick to there Sector and dont put there nose in the affaris of the greater Chruch, they are happily ignoring each other, beside occasionally incidents when they try to preach inside the others lawn like: Get off my lawn!

 

The Sector is a bit off the "Main Road", as long they dutyfull pay there Tithes, they shoud not get many attention.

 

The Pride Topic, i dont mean they are overly pridefull, but i want to express that they are proud (not direct Pride) of there Milestones. But you gave me a good Idea to expand a bit on the Ashen Knights later, maybe there Pride caused them to fall under the influence of the Chaos Demon.

 

Which would give me further the idea of Pential Company, where the Chapter seed out overly Pride or obsessed with Power, to much Self Esteem. In fear of repeating Histroy (alltough the truth is hidden beneath a veil).

 

 

I know that they are my Chapter, and by some things iam okay with going against the grain. But i want that it fit reasonable in the Verse.

[gripschi]

last large Update for the time now.

 

Mostly i rewored and cut the topics down to better lenngth and reduced word count, amazing what you can cut and still tell the same.

 

the coopertaion with the Soritas is on Ice for now, i will later work on this again.

 

 

As WIP i introduced "The Prophet", something i will overwork later again. For now they are more a concept and need still some fine tuning.

i will later add, that they are presumably from a bloodline, which originated from the Boarheaded. Not sure about the thing, but likey i will stick to it, as it is a reference to my source content.

 

They are Indiviudlas which gain Charisma and a natural habit of Leadership. Along a slight pseudo psyic pwoer against Eldar, similiar to Blanks. The Chapter will these gather in a Penal Battalion (not sure if i rework it as a Special One) under the Chapter Master. Used as Leaders in the direst and most important battles, allied forces will fight to the last or achieve impossible victorys (alltough costly).

 

Beside them the frame work is mostly finished. I belive as a Summary it is sufficent.

 

My next projects go to falsh out the Sector (alltough i lost twice now my work, thx Laptop) and on short Essays from the Ordo Astartes over certain Topics, which will include the Equites Rhenus too.

 

After i finish these, i will meddle with a crused founding chapter.

 

thx for feedback and we see ya

[Bjorn Firewalker]

They are Indiviudlas which gain Charisma and a natural habit of Leadership. Along a slight pseudo psyic pwoer against Eldar, similiar to Blanks. The Chapter will these gather in a Penal Battalion (not sure if i rework it as a Special One) under the Chapter Master. Used as Leaders in the direst and most important battles, allied forces will fight to the last or achieve impossible victorys (alltough costly).

Blanks are more rare than psykers- more precious as a direct result- and no competent Inquisitor will let them go to waste in a penal regiment (or as a Chapter serf, in this case), when the blanks can be used to counter enemy psykers and even Daemons (as described in the Ciaphas Cain novels).

 

Why would the Astra Militarum let a Space Marine Chapter have a regiment and all the resources allocated to this regiment- in short, allow the Chapter to become the Astral Claws 2.0? More details are needed, regarding whatever deal was made between the organizations. During the Horus Heresy, did the Ultramarines takeover a penal colony to deny its human and material resources to the Night Lords Traitor Legion, and afterwards, the Knights of the Blood Oak inherited their parent Legion's responsibilities to the penal colony and penal regiments raised from it- a 10,000-year-old deal the Astra Militarum is reluctant to break, as Roboute Guilliman himself made it with the then-Lord General Militant?

[gripschi]

Just a short answer from mobile:

 

I will reworte it, you brought Up valid points i didn't intend this way.

 

The blank was maybe a wrong description from me. More Like they block there psi Powers and are a unberable presence to them.

 

Maybe back with a Dark Eldar Problem in the IA. I will see.

 

 

The penal Battalion wasnt meant as a fully fledged Astra Regiment. It was meant as Astartes Force under the Chapter Master.

 

And that they get fielded in the Most important Battles to buy time against all odds by realying the Human Forces.

 

I will adress it further ofc.

 

Thx for your Feedback

Just a short answer from mobile:

 

I will reworte it, you brought Up valid points i didn't intend this way.

 

The blank was maybe a wrong description from me. More Like they block there psi Powers and are a unberable presence to them.

 

Maybe back with a Dark Eldar Problem in the IA. I will see.

 

 

The penal Battalion wasnt meant as a fully fledged Astra Regiment. It was meant as Astartes Force under the Chapter Master.

 

And that they get fielded in the Most important Battles to buy time against all odds by realying the Human Forces.

 

I will adress it further ofc.

 

Thx for your Feedback

[Bjorn Firewalker]

These Astartes are especially „Handsome“ and resemble a tiny part of there Primarch‘s Aura, towards Men and Gene Forged Humans alike.

This makes your Chapter seem like one of Mary Sues, i.e., you're apparently repeating Matt Ward's mistakes when he wrote the 5th Edition Codex: Space Marines. Best limit the "especially 'Handsome' [Marine] and resemble a tiny part of there Primarch‘s Aura," to a single individual in the Chapter's history, one who was martyred and now serves as an example your Marines seek to follow.

 

Nitpicks, with my emphases:

Rogue Trader Dynasty „Nebukadnezzar“ - a necessary evil which proved its worth time over time again

Replaced "Rouge" with "Rogue", "proofed" with "proved".

Imperial Church - most shun them for their humble and worldly view and that they purged the one in their sector

Replaced "there" (which indicates a location) with "their" (which indicates possession/possessiveness).

 

I also request clarification. What do you mean by "they purged the one in their sector"? The Knights of the Blood Oak purged the Cardinal responsible for their sector? Or the Ecclesiarch or his subordinates (the aforementioned Cardinal) purged individuals or organizations under the Chapter's protection, poisoning relations between the Ecclesiarchy and the Knights of the Blood Oak in consequence?

[gripschi]

I dont see it as Mary Sue, but Accept it. But this part is still open to working on it. I see that my intent didn't came over as planned.

 

My intent was that it is a vauleable asset but even more seen as risk. The handsome Part is maybe really over the top.

 

Would it fit better, when this individuals First apperead after they banished the boarheaded? That they hung Like a reminder or Potential threat?

 

At the end, i want this Part in but Not as over the top.

 

Thx for nitpicking. I will correct later this day.

[Bjorn Firewalker]

My intent was that it is a vauleable asset but even more seen as risk. The handsome Part is maybe really over the top.

Replace "handsome" with "charismatic", to make them less Mary Sue-ish.

Would it fit better, when this individuals First apperead after they banished the boarheaded? That they hung Like a reminder or Potential threat?

How about having them appear AT THE SAME TIME as the Boar Headed, making it seem they were born in direct response to the threat the Daemon posed? For comparison, Supreme Leader Snoke implied Rey's birth was a direct response from the Light Side of the Force, to the Dark Side strengthening, in Star Wars: The Force Awakens.

 

And instead of having the Chaplains watch them, let's have the Prophets be Chaplains, using fiery oratory to motivate others to fight harder in the Emperor's name- which would make the Ecclesiarchy concerned about the possibility the Chapter intends to usurp its role as shepherd to those faithful to the God-Emperor, and the other High Lords concerned about violations of the Decree Passive, if the Prophets didn't get martyred in battle against the Daemon.

 

Nitpicks, with my emphases italicized:

The Prophets

 

 

 

A unique Individual which appeared during the Astartes Transformation.

"Prophets" is plural, "individual" is singular (and needlessly capitalized).

 

War over the Northern Heights-Return of the Boar-the void

 

 

 

Around Mid M41, the activity of Chaos Cults and Pirates started to increase over the Whole Sector. This forced the Sector to invest steadily more Assets there. Wary of this, the Blood Knights increased there presence too.

 

 

 

With the Great Rift opening, the Boar Headed announced his return and a bloody War break lose.

This is the first time the words "Boar Headed" appeared in your IA. When and where did he return from? What did he do the last time he manifested in the material realm? I know the Boar Headed is a Daemon, as your later posts describe him as such- but those reading this IA for the first time, lack such information.

Under great costs and [with] the help of the Indomitus Crusade, the Eldar were able to ignite an old weapon[,] [w]hich fully eradicated nearly half of the Northern Heights, [leaving] a complete void, bare of anything. [The] Boar Headed [is] trapped [in this void], slowly fading away.

I rewrote the sentences "Under great costs and the help of the Indomitus Crusade, the Eldar were able to ignite a old weapon. Which fully eradicated nearly half of the Northern Heights, only left a complete void, bare of anything. In it is the Board Headed trapped, slowly fading away," for clarity. I also replaced "a" with "an", as "old" begins with a vowel; and replaced "Board" with "Boar".

 

This section is imaginatively written, but what is the "old weapon" the Eldar used against the Daemon? How did the Indomitus Crusade help the Eldar, by serving as a distraction so the xenos may emplace and arm the "old weapon" beneath the Daemon's notice?

Edited July 13, 2021 by Bjorn Firewalker

[gripschi]

Good points. I will use them when i work on the them futher.

 

The Idea with the uprising would make a good justification for the first raid on iskendriar, that the demon was maybe forced to act sooner then planned for the sudden apperance of these individuals and the fear they inflicted on the churchs higher ups.

 

That they died as matyr is a sound proposal, alltough i would say one surrived and reformed the chapters and the church in the sector.

 

Maybe i base him on this person:

https://elfen.fandom.com/de/wiki/Honor%C3%A9     sry but i cant found a english one

 

 

Maybe they still appear less frequent over the time, linked to grave threats like a black crusade.

[Bjorn Firewalker]

An idea for the regiments under the Chapter's leadership:

 

Instead of referring to them as a "penal regiments", refer to them as "penitent regiments". The Ultramarines and their Successor Chapters will surely attempt to rebuild a penal colony under their responsibility, to the standards of a world of Ultramar, instilling in its inhabitants the ideals their Primarch instilled in them. The former penal colonists will become law-abiding and faithful, but still feel they must make penance for their ancestors' sins. (I'm taking inspiration from the White Hand Chapter.)

 

Again, you must justify an arrangement that will otherwise make the M41 Imperium view your Chapter as the Astral Claws 2.0. I think my suggestion of a Horus Heresy-era deal that Guilliman made, makes the most sense; but others may have better ideas, so feel free to ask for a second, third, and fourth opinions.

Edited July 15, 2021 by Bjorn Firewalker

[gripschi]

You have allready give me some ideas. I ahve to see what i can made out of it. Hopefully my next work weekend is quiet, then i can get at it again.

 

A penal colony would certenaly give me some leeway, would make a nice addtion to the sector too.

At the moment i tend towards 8 prophets at the raid of iskendriar. 7 Blood Oaks and 1 Ashen Knight. 7 get killed or sacrificed and the 8 reformed the Chapters and Church.

 

Later they appear first again around the Black Crusade. Maybe i inculde them in the Northern War.

 

 

I dont want them to make new Astral Claws, i know they are a bit border here and there. Maybe i will rework there seldom out going of the Sector towards a steadily supply of troops to the Cadian gate. As form of a token towards the more worryed higher ups.

 

With the boar headed you rise a good point. I had him in the one tale only explained. Need to add him in the IA again, i just didn't notice it until now.

 

Short Summary of the Northern War: He foretale his return during his first banishment and the Chapter and Eldar were always on the look for him. I image that he is busy with tearing the Webway open and would cause a new rift in the solar segment. Not big enough to warrant a full Crusade but still worysome. To prevent that the Eldar are willing to ignite a old weapon, the Chapter and the Crusade came to the conculsion it is the only viable and a quick solution. But to made sure he is trapped in it, a Invasion of the Demon World is necessary.

 

I will further refine it, but as a crude summary it should work.

 

Thanks again for your help, if i could give you a award i would =)

[gripschi]

Found time to work again an it =)

 

The prophets

 

Around the rise of Sebastian Thor, 6 unique Astartes rose to the rank of Chaplains. Each of them was believed to be touched by the grace of the Emperor himself. Whenever they spoke, something inside the believers resonate, inspiring them to heroic deeds against the foe.

 

Soon they begun to receive fragment of a prophecy, which spoke about a boar headed being, trying to open a forgotten Gate up. Vaguely humanoid figures seemingly fight him once to prevent this fate. Not humans but something close to it...the Eldar it dawned on them.

 

After they were able to pinpoint a Eldar Force, a Farseer approached the prophets. In this meeting many secrets were revealed and a Alliance proposed. The „boar headed“ is a ancient Greater Lord of Change, who once nearly invaded the Web Way. And that they were born as direct response of the dark force growing too fast and too much.

 

To there dismay, he currently posses the Chapter Master of the Ashen Knights and vast parts of the church are under his control. Pooling vast resources towards Iskendriar, in order to excavate the long buried gate there.   

 

Pressed as time were critical, the Chapter spread word of the prophets to the church, declaring change is coming. Plunge the Church Upper Ranks in chaos and provoke a rushed crusade against them, pooling important Assets away from Iskendriar and open up a hole in the Defence.

 

At the height of there fight against the Boar Headed, a seventh prophet revealed his role, the Chief Librarian of the Ashen Knights. 6 gave there souls to seal the Demon away, the 7^th and strongest projected the vast powers and formed 6 Keys which the Farseer bound in swords.

 

His Armour turned black during this and all insignia vanish along the colour and his powers. After the deed finish and Reinforcement arrived his words were:

 

There are no more prophets...

 

Later he was elected as New unified Chapter Master and choose to hide his true identity. After the reestablishment of the High Lords of Terra, he reported that all prophets sacrificed themselves and died as martyr against the Great Foe. 

 

 

First Draft for now, i update the IA here too. But for easier spotting here as a post.

[Bjorn Firewalker]

Very promising. More details will be welcome.

 

Did the six Prophets die fighting the Boar Headed Daemon, distracting the monster so it cannot interfere as the Librarian and the Farseer enacted a ritual to seal it away? Or did they ritually kill themselves so their souls may imbue the six "Keys" (capitalized?) with which the Daemon will be sealed?

 

And where was the Seventh Prophet in the time between the Boar Headed Daemon taking possession of the Ashen Knights Chapter Master, and his revealing himself to the six other Prophets? Remaining with the corrupted Ashen Knights, to gather intelligence on the Daemon's plans and information on the monster's weaknesses? Or did he desert his Chapter, fleeing with what intel and info he had, in search of allies to help stop the Boar Headed Daemon's plans?

 

The fact the Boar Headed Daemon serves Tzeentch, while the number of Prophets is seven- holy number of Nurgle, who is Tzeentch's fiercest rival- is suspicious. Did the Emperor enable the Prophets' rise, or did someone- something else?

 

And why did the Seventh Prophet's armor turn black? I will appreciate details, e.g., "His armor was blackened, his insignia burned away from the fiery psychic backblast of the ritual. He felt his own psychic powers diminish to nothing, but persisted, knowing they were a necessary sacrifice to defeat the Daemon."

 

Nitpicks:

To [their] dismay, he currently [possesses] the Chapter Master of the Ashen Knights and vast parts of the church are under his control. Pooling vast resources towards Iskendriar, [he plans] to excavate the long buried gate there.

You keep mixing up "there" (indicates a location, e.g., "Over there!") and "their" (indicates group possession, e.g., "Boys and their toys,"). I corrected the spelling of "possess" and then changed tenses to improve the grammar. I rewrote the last sentence, replacing "in order" with "he plans" to complete it; if you disagree, the last sentence should be merged with the previous one.

[six] gave there souls to seal the D[a]emon away, the [seven]th and strongest projected the vast powers and formed [six] Keys which the Farseer bound in swords.

Numbers should be spelled out if they're smaller than ten. I corrected the spelling of "Daemon".

His [a]rmour turned black during this and all insignia vanish along the colour and his powers. After the deed [was] finish[ed] and [r]einforcement arrived[,] his words were:

The words "armour" and "reinforcement" are needlessly capitalized. I added a word and a comma, to improve the grammar; and corrected the tense of "finish".

[gripschi]

1. i tend to say they died fighting him but there souls filled the ritual with power

 

2. oversight on my part, he choose to remain there as he belive a chance to reedem the Chapter may come. He backstab the demon to buy time too and reveal himself there

 

3.  Well i could say 1 Prophet for each House and 1 for good measure, but some things better left in the dark (was not a intended reference to Nurgles Number but maybe some truth in it?)

 

4. Your Idea sound very fiting. Something along the lines, the blackened armour was a detail out from the Adeptus Custodes, the throne room guards armour turn black due his psyic presence, in my eyes the same happen here. And he sacrifice his own power more in the sense he literaly burn it out as fuel but managed to endure it through sheer willpower.

 

thx for nitpick