Blood Angels Successor Chapter Fluff

[Inquisitor_Lensoven]

Posted in the BA subforum, but it will be primarily lore so i figured i'd just link it here and update here from now on.

http://www.bolterandchainsword.com/topic/367068-been-gone-now-im-back-with-a-new-successor-chapter/

[Inquisitor_Lensoven]

One of the primary responsibilities held by the Librarius is keeping a record of all the Warlords, Warbosses, Generals, Cult Bosses, that face the Angels de Mari and get away.

Currently the top 3 they are currently searching for are;

Necron Overlord Itep Hetakh

Ork Warbosses Goldtoof Wurldbreka

Cult Leader Severus the Neverstill

 

A Select group of Codiciers to search the Warp for evidence of the whereabouts of those whose names are in the Book of Memory.

[Deadass]

Most of what you've got so far looks alright - the two things that immediately stand out to me as clashing with established lore are the Chaplain with Wings and the really odd chapter organisation. Going by what you said in the thread in the BA subforum, you seem to be pretty dead-set on the former. I'd have to have a better look at the chapter structure later, as I'm short on time right now.

 

Also, it'd be good if you could copy-paste all of your fluff -including the map - into the first post of this topic. It's really annoying to have to jump around between three different tabs to take it all in, and I guarantee that'll turn people off reading and commenting on it.

 

Lastly, I've got a couple of questions.

• Why the italian(?) chapter name? It sorta falls out of the naming scheme (says the guy who calls his own guys the Strigoi, I know, I know). This isn't really criticism, but I'm curious.
• Going back to the organisation very briefly, what made you decide it needed to be that different? What kind of benefit do the Angels draw from it?
• And most importantly: You've got a good chunk of lore here. Are you planning to leave it at bullet points, or do you want to compile it into an article once you've written down everything you need? Some people just want to put their chapters on display here rather than developing them. I haven't seen you ask for feedback, maybe that's what you want as well? What's the end goal here?

[Inquisitor_Lensoven]

- why the Italian? Can't really say other than I'm Italian American and I've liked Italian culture for a while.

- wings, yep I've made up my mind. Over 10k years and millions of sons of sanguinius and I'm expected to believe that none others shared his mutation naturally? I don't buy that. If someone wants to come play a narrative campaign where their chapter or an inquisitor or something declares the chapter renegade because of Pietro that's fine and I totally understand how that would be fluffy, and I'd love working such a campaign into the chapter's actual fluff.

- chapter organization just makes more sense to me.

-I'm open to suggestions for example I'm trying to decide if Vendettatori should remain his individual name or be a name that all who assume the office of chief librarian take kind of like a reference to their book full of what can only be described as vendettas. So opinions on that would be appreciated.

[Inquisitor_Lensoven]

https://www.worldanvil.com/w/flumen-labrum-johnpjones1776

the WA page for my chapter, it will be updated occasionally.

[Gamiel]

- why the Italian? Can't really say other than I'm Italian American and I've liked Italian culture for a while.

Any other Italian culture points that you plan to incorporate/use/refer to beside the name?

[Inquisitor_Lensoven]

 

- why the Italian? Can't really say other than I'm Italian American and I've liked Italian culture for a while.

Any other Italian culture points that you plan to incorporate/use/refer to beside the name?

 

they'll keep the italian renaissance  artsy theme that the blood angels have. i guess the sacrafice thing could also be viewed as a mafia style disappearing punishment.

[Bjorn Firewalker]

https://www.worldanvil.com/w/flumen-labrum-johnpjones1776

 

the WA page for my chapter, it will be updated occasionally.

Nitpick:

Flumen Labrum is the home world of Angels de Mari chapter of Space Marines, a secessor chapter of the Blood Angels created during the 15th Founding.

"Secessor" is the wrong word; use "successor" instead.

[Inquisitor_Lensoven]

 

https://www.worldanvil.com/w/flumen-labrum-johnpjones1776

 

the WA page for my chapter, it will be updated occasionally.

Nitpick:

Flumen Labrum is the home world of Angels de Mari chapter of Space Marines, a secessor chapter of the Blood Angels created during the 15th Founding.

"Secessor" is the wrong word; use "successor" instead.

 

my bad thanks for pointing out the typo. 

[Gamiel]

 

 

- why the Italian? Can't really say other than I'm Italian American and I've liked Italian culture for a while.

Any other Italian culture points that you plan to incorporate/use/refer to beside the name?

 

they'll keep the italian renaissance  artsy theme that the blood angels have. i guess the sacrafice thing could also be viewed as a mafia style disappearing punishment.

 

 

If I may suggest: you could have the ranks (and maybe other Chapter nomenclature) in Italian; maybe have some kind of references to the mercenary traditions of city-state Italy; have their ceremonies honouring the Emperor, Sanguinius and/or their forbears being very Italian chuch in feeling ; etc.

 

You could also make references to specific geographical parts of Italian, like Venice, Corsica, Pontine Marshes, and such.

[Inquisitor_Lensoven]

 

 

 

- why the Italian? Can't really say other than I'm Italian American and I've liked Italian culture for a while.

Any other Italian culture points that you plan to incorporate/use/refer to beside the name?

 

they'll keep the italian renaissance  artsy theme that the blood angels have. i guess the sacrafice thing could also be viewed as a mafia style disappearing punishment.

 

 

If I may suggest: you could have the ranks (and maybe other Chapter nomenclature) in Italian; maybe have some kind of references to the mercenary traditions of city-state Italy; have their ceremonies honouring the Emperor, Sanguinius and/or their forbears being very Italian chuch in feeling ; etc.

 

You could also make references to specific geographical parts of Italian, like Venice, Corsica, Pontine Marshes, and such.

 

the swamps to the west of their island could be a reference to the pontine marshes. thanks

 

Sanguinary Marshes, and the Cattedrale del Angeli (cathedral of angels) inspired by the Cattedrale del Pisa

Edited November 24, 2020 by Inquisitor_Lensoven

[Inquisitor_Lensoven]

Chapter's fleet composition has been added to the WA page.

[Gamiel]

 

 

 

 

- why the Italian? Can't really say other than I'm Italian American and I've liked Italian culture for a while.

Any other Italian culture points that you plan to incorporate/use/refer to beside the name?

 

they'll keep the italian renaissance  artsy theme that the blood angels have. i guess the sacrafice thing could also be viewed as a mafia style disappearing punishment.

 

 

If I may suggest: you could have the ranks (and maybe other Chapter nomenclature) in Italian; maybe have some kind of references to the mercenary traditions of city-state Italy; have their ceremonies honouring the Emperor, Sanguinius and/or their forbears being very Italian chuch in feeling ; etc.

 

You could also make references to specific geographical parts of Italian, like Venice, Corsica, Pontine Marshes, and such.

 

the swamps to the west of their island could be a reference to the pontine marshes. thanks

 

Sanguinary Marshes, and the Cattedrale del Angeli (cathedral of angels) inspired by the Cattedrale del Pisa

 

Torcello  is also swampy

[Inquisitor_Lensoven]

So with the reveal of the atlantian spears, the similarities to my chapter are uncanny. 
i feel vindicated that i had a good idea, but i'm also miffed about it, and the fact they intentionally ignored dante's call for help, annoys me as well...i get it, it makes sense for one or two not to care, but due to that and the similarities i want my chapter to have a...very vigorous rivalry with the atlantian spears, but i am slightly at a loss how to go about it...how to explain that my chapter knows the spears intentionally ignored dante's call? if that's not the cause of hosility then what would be another reasonable cause for one chapter to hold a serious grudge against another chapter, let alone one of the same gene-lineage?

[Gamiel]

So with the reveal of the atlantian spears, the similarities to my chapter are uncanny. 

i feel vindicated that i had a good idea, but i'm also miffed about it, and the fact they intentionally ignored dante's call for help, annoys me as well...i get it, it makes sense for one or two not to care, but due to that and the similarities i want my chapter to have a...very vigorous rivalry with the atlantian spears, but i am slightly at a loss how to go about it...how to explain that my chapter knows the spears intentionally ignored dante's call? if that's not the cause of hosility then what would be another reasonable cause for one chapter to hold a serious grudge against another chapter, let alone one of the same gene-lineage?

There are lots of possible reasons, the WD's write ups about the Silver Templars and Tome Keepers have some examples you can take inspiration from. Here are some possibilities

* "Stealing" an important kill

* Going against agreed war plan

* Not acting honourable by the other parts standard

* Suddenly leaving a combat zone for unexplained reasons

* Suddenly leaving a combat zone for reasons that the other Chapter though was trivial

* Had to fight together for a longer conflict where their very different ways to make war made both Chapters constantly clash

* Don’t like the way the other Chapter deal with the Red Thirst and/or Black Rage

* Consider the way the other Chapter act an insult to Sanguinius legacy

 * Consider the other Chapter complete barbarians / fops

* Find their rituals suspect

* Don’t like the way they use their psykers

 

Honour is important to Marines so anything that would get your historical knight / samurai / military officer / lord to declare that he want a duel is also good

Edited November 30, 2020 by Gamiel

[Inquisitor_Lensoven]

 

So with the reveal of the atlantian spears, the similarities to my chapter are uncanny. 

i feel vindicated that i had a good idea, but i'm also miffed about it, and the fact they intentionally ignored dante's call for help, annoys me as well...i get it, it makes sense for one or two not to care, but due to that and the similarities i want my chapter to have a...very vigorous rivalry with the atlantian spears, but i am slightly at a loss how to go about it...how to explain that my chapter knows the spears intentionally ignored dante's call? if that's not the cause of hosility then what would be another reasonable cause for one chapter to hold a serious grudge against another chapter, let alone one of the same gene-lineage?

There are lots of possible reasons, the WD's write ups about the Silver Templars and Tome Keepers have some examples you can take inspiration from. Here are some possibilities

* "Stealing" an important kill

* Going against agreed war plan

* Not acting honourable by the other parts standard

* Suddenly leaving a combat zone for unexplained reasons

* Suddenly leaving a combat zone for reasons that the other Chapter though was trivial

* Had to fight together for a longer conflict where their very different ways to make war made both Chapters constantly clash

* Don’t like the way the other Chapter deal with the Red Thirst and/or Black Rage

* Consider the way the other Chapter act an insult to Sanguinius legacy

 * Consider the other Chapter complete barbarians / fops

* Find their rituals suspect

* Don’t like the way they use their psykers

 

Honour is important to Marines so anything that would get your historical knight / samurai / military officer / lord to declare that he want a duel is also good

 

unfortunately there are so many similarities between the chapters a lot of that seems like would create 'huh?' moments that wouldn't make much sense.

 

maybe something like a sanguinary priest of the atlantian spears walked past a fatally wounded captain, allowing him to die, while the priest was had temporarily let the Thirst get the best of him? thus creating doubt in their ability to control the flaw, as well as bitterness at letting a beloved captain die?

Edited November 30, 2020 by Inquisitor_Lensoven

[Inquisitor_Lensoven]

A bit of new fluff regarding the way the chapter uses it's blade guard, called the chapter guardians.

https://www.worldanvil.com/w/flumen-labrum-johnpjones1776/a/chapter-guardians-article

[Bjorn Firewalker]

More nitpicking:

You misspelled sacrifice as "sacrafice" here and in the table of contents.

[Gamiel]

 

 

So with the reveal of the atlantian spears, the similarities to my chapter are uncanny. 

i feel vindicated that i had a good idea, but i'm also miffed about it, and the fact they intentionally ignored dante's call for help, annoys me as well...i get it, it makes sense for one or two not to care, but due to that and the similarities i want my chapter to have a...very vigorous rivalry with the atlantian spears, but i am slightly at a loss how to go about it...how to explain that my chapter knows the spears intentionally ignored dante's call? if that's not the cause of hosility then what would be another reasonable cause for one chapter to hold a serious grudge against another chapter, let alone one of the same gene-lineage?

There are lots of possible reasons, the WD's write ups about the Silver Templars and Tome Keepers have some examples you can take inspiration from. Here are some possibilities

* "Stealing" an important kill

* Going against agreed war plan

* Not acting honourable by the other parts standard

* Suddenly leaving a combat zone for unexplained reasons

* Suddenly leaving a combat zone for reasons that the other Chapter though was trivial

* Had to fight together for a longer conflict where their very different ways to make war made both Chapters constantly clash

* Don’t like the way the other Chapter deal with the Red Thirst and/or Black Rage

* Consider the way the other Chapter act an insult to Sanguinius legacy

 * Consider the other Chapter complete barbarians / fops

* Find their rituals suspect

* Don’t like the way they use their psykers

 

Honour is important to Marines so anything that would get your historical knight / samurai / military officer / lord to declare that he want a duel is also good

 

unfortunately there are so many similarities between the chapters a lot of that seems like would create 'huh?' moments that wouldn't make much sense.

 

maybe something like a sanguinary priest of the atlantian spears walked past a fatally wounded captain, allowing him to die, while the priest was had temporarily let the Thirst get the best of him? thus creating doubt in their ability to control the flaw, as well as bitterness at letting a beloved captain die?

 

Since the Atlantian Spears relied upon their Librarians powers of foresight to guide them could you have that during an important conflict / battle where both the Angels De Mari and the Atlantian Spears were present did the Spears suddenly remove themself from the battlefield because their Librarian had a vision that they were needed somewhere else, leading to the Angels De Mari having to fight, and taking causalities, for two Chapters.

 

The Novamarines don't talk to the Silver Templars for a lesser reason

Edited December 1, 2020 by Gamiel

[Inquisitor_Lensoven]

More nitpicking:

You misspelled sacrifice as "sacrafice" here and in the table of contents.

thanks for pointing that out.

[Inquisitor_Lensoven]

just got hit by some inspiration, after learning about the gospel of judas.

The first major antagonist of the chapter will be the bloodthirster Nebro.
i misspelled it in google as nerbo, which can mean both whip and backbone. this will be a fun write up.

[Bjorn Firewalker]

The first major antagonist of the chapter will be the bloodthirster Nebro.

i misspelled it in google as nerbo, which can mean both whip and backbone. this will be a fun write up.

The dullahan is said to use a human spine taken from a corpse, as a whip. Say the Chapter Champion beheaded the Bloodthirster in eons past, but such was the Daemon's rage at this indignity and hatred towards the Chapter, he resisted returning to Khorne's realm after his beheading, and instead carries his severed head under one arm as he travels in search of revenge, wielding a whip made from backbones torn out of dead Astartes?

[Inquisitor_Lensoven]

https://www.worldanvil.com/w/flumen-labrum-johnpjones1776/a/bloodthirster-nebro-person-1

[Inquisitor_Lensoven]

Added some more to the main AdM organization article.

https://www.worldanvil.com/w/flumen-labrum-johnpjones1776/a/angels-de-mari-organization?preview=true

[Inquisitor_Lensoven]

Now you can see the color scheme, eyes are lothern blue even though you can't really see it well.

 

https://www.reddit.com/r/BloodAngels/comments/kd7swq/some_chonky_and_thicc_angels_de_mari/?st=KIP40HLY&sh=e5f9d751