Agamemnon-2.0 Posted March 18, 2005 Share Posted March 18, 2005 This is a sort of one-page fiction piece I wrote for the codex of my own space marine chapter, the Tigers of Saros. The entire thing was finished in around an hour, start to finish, and as such is likely to be a bit rough around the edges. Enjoy. - * - * - The Shattering of Hariax Prime Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/69930-the-shattering-of-hariax-prime/ Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alec Posted March 18, 2005 Share Posted March 18, 2005 This has a lot of potential i reckons. I want tot really know whats in the armoured collomn (or however you spell it :( ) and why they are going off to kill the Magister dude. Al Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/69930-the-shattering-of-hariax-prime/#findComment-798604 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Agamemnon-2.0 Posted March 18, 2005 Author Share Posted March 18, 2005 Well, I figure the Magister is your everyday blasphemer, really, and the Ordo Hereticus likes to put people like that to the torch. That whole fragment actually came to pass because I was watching LOTR and reading WD at the same time. I look up and there's Saruman, asking "Whom do you serve?" of the Uruk-Hai. It just clicked into place after that. Lord Kalvan became an observer for this scene, and the character of Captain Jakin Delaro (of the fourth company of the Tigers of Saros) was invented. Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/69930-the-shattering-of-hariax-prime/#findComment-798615 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Drakkar Windrider Posted March 18, 2005 Share Posted March 18, 2005 Very nice. At last, someone thinks of the Ogryns! Really, I know this is a forum about Space Marines, but I hate how everyone writes their fluff making the Marines look like Gods. Guardsmen die by the dozen when a Marine spits, and things like that. However, I never read about Ogryns before. I wondered why no one wrote about them. Must be their accent, huh? Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/69930-the-shattering-of-hariax-prime/#findComment-798721 Share on other sites More sharing options...
hack_n_slash Posted March 19, 2005 Share Posted March 19, 2005 Cool, Ogryns :D Good point Drakkar Windrider, no-one's written about Ogryns much, this story has much potential (and best of all, it doesn't have any glaring grammer, punctuation or spelling mistakes!). Keep it up. Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/69930-the-shattering-of-hariax-prime/#findComment-798843 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rymeer Posted March 19, 2005 Share Posted March 19, 2005 I enjoyed reading the short text you've written. The addition of Ogryns to the scene did not surprise me as much as the Marine Captain's acceptance of them. I really have nothing against Ogryns... they are loyal, to a fault at times. And, somewhat literal minded. I would appreciate Kalvan giving us some reason why the marines and guard are there. What you have is a bit skimpy at best. The ]['s attitude, being of the Hereticus, is understandable to a point. I look forwards to further postings as to the outcome of this impending battle, as well as battle scenes from it. If well written, it should prove quite entertaining, and with Ogryns involved, assauge some of concerns of others that see only Marines getting all the 'action'. Just a few thoughts, Rymeer Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/69930-the-shattering-of-hariax-prime/#findComment-799002 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Agamemnon-2.0 Posted March 19, 2005 Author Share Posted March 19, 2005 Well, I probably won't be continuing this story thread. I tried to, but it comes out sounding tired and long-winded. Kinda sad, really, as I had this mental image of them blowing the fortress open with orbital warheads and then crashing the entire thing with a superheavy ore-carrier rig (something akin to the old Epic Squat land train) packed with a platoon of Ogryns. Damn, where did I put that VDR... :-D Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/69930-the-shattering-of-hariax-prime/#findComment-799616 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Agamemnon-2.0 Posted March 20, 2005 Author Share Posted March 20, 2005 Well, isn't changing your mind great? Here's part two of the little story. -- From the safety of his Rhino armored carrier, Inquisitor Kalvan was able to see and fully appreciate Captain Delaro's plan. He had deemed it best not to expend any of his own troops in the confrontation. There were not much, of course, a mere glorified escort of Arbites and their transports. Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/69930-the-shattering-of-hariax-prime/#findComment-800621 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Purge The Weak Posted March 20, 2005 Share Posted March 20, 2005 Thats some real good fluff worthy for your army! EDIT: POST 200 !!! Wahoo Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/69930-the-shattering-of-hariax-prime/#findComment-800664 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brother Sergeant Alasseo Posted March 20, 2005 Share Posted March 20, 2005 Very nice indeed. I assume Lord Vorbis is a completely bald head of the Ordos Inquisitorae Subsector at least... One thing though: 16" thick armour? I thought the Imperium was using metric? Ah, stuff it, its a minor quibble Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/69930-the-shattering-of-hariax-prime/#findComment-800703 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Agamemnon-2.0 Posted March 20, 2005 Author Share Posted March 20, 2005 Alasseo: Indeed. I wish there was a miniature in the GW range even remotely like he is described as. None of the Inquisitors are very nice, IMO. I hope to get to the actual battle soon, described from the viewpoint of Brother Arcus Iskander, a techmarine of the Tigers of Saros. Look for it soon, same bat-time, same bat-channel. Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/69930-the-shattering-of-hariax-prime/#findComment-800807 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sentinel747 Posted March 23, 2005 Share Posted March 23, 2005 for some reason this story sounds vaguely like Troy becuase of the walls and the fact that some of the soldiers think that the walls cannot be breached... Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/69930-the-shattering-of-hariax-prime/#findComment-804340 Share on other sites More sharing options...
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