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The Vanguard


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*shrugs* This idea has been bouncing around for some time. A long time in fact, probably the first idea I came up with, but dismissed as unfeasable due to cash constraints.

 

Ah... well here it is.

 

 

The Vanguard:

 

The history of the Taitor group known as 'The Vanguard' has its roots in the Great Crusade. What is undeniable (sp?) is that they are a splinter faction of the Black Legion (Sons of Horus, Luna Wolves... yadda yadda yadda).

 

Their commander, a (relativly) young Space Marine by the name of Vaartas, is a cunning, plotting man. He has defeated many foes twice the size of his small group through extensive planning, and his trademark, 'influencing' certain members of his foes command. (Very Alpha Legion-ish I know)

 

But, unlike many warlords of the Black Legion, Vaartas is one of the very few who ignore the Dispoiler's commands, in fact this is reason as to how the Vanguard came into exsistence.

 

After the humilliating defeat at the Emperor's Palace, Abbadon and his fellows fled to the Eye of Terror, this much is common knowledge. Once within the Eye's so called 'safety', Abbadon called all of the Legions Captains and other officers to him and gave them an ultimatum.

 

'Follow me or die'

 

The majority of the officers gathered swore loyalty to Abbadon then and there. Vaartas spoke out against Abbadon, declaring that Abbadon was insane, and unfit to lead the Legion and reunite the human race under one banner, as was the Emperor's dream. Vaartas was cast out along with his company and other Legionnaires who followed his ideal. Thus the Vanguard came into exsistence.

 

Determined to uphold what little honour the Legion had, Vaartas and his brothers left the Eye, only returning to re-stock or steal supplies from other Legions. He has also brokered alliances with the other Legions, most noteably the Thousand Sons and Night Lords. Odd that Tzeentch would support this young upstart and not the Despoiler, who is the most 'gifted' of all of the Chaos Warlords.

 

Vaartas's Vanguard have raided the Imperium, xenos, and fellow Traitors alike over the ten thousand years they have been active.

 

On more than one occasion, the Vanguard have sided with Imperial forces, though only on a short-term basis, since the Imperials seem to be unable to determine that the Vanguard is there to help. This was most apperent in Abbadons latest.... Crusade.

 

The Vanguard have never sided with Chaos unless it is in their best interests, since the faction has seen that mutation can lead to their downfall. This has not stopped some of them from walking the paths of the Four Chaos Gods though.

 

There have been no recorded instances of deamons being used by the Vanguard, which is... unusual for a Black Legion force, or any other Chaos force.

 

 

Rough list:

 

Chaos Lord: Vaartas.

Mark of Chaos Undivided

Bolt Pistol/Power weapon (maybe something else?)

Frag grenades, spiky bits

Furious Charge

(Maybe some deamonic powers... I don't know...)

 

Sorcerer: (no name of yet)

Mark of Tzeentch

MC Plasma Pistol, Bedlam Staff, Wind of Chaos, Deamonic Visage, Deamonic Aura.

Furious Charge.

(Improvmets?)

 

Elites:

 

Chosen: Aspiring Champion: Karichus

Unit No. 9

One with Flamer

All have CC weapons and frag grenades.

Karichus: Power fist, Plasma pistol, frag grenades.

 

Unit Transport: Chaos Rhino

Additional Combi-bolter

Xtra Armour, dozer blade, smokes.

 

((This is all I've got, reviews welcome))

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Interesting to see a chaos splinter-warband. :)

 

A couple of points struck me as I read this piece:

Abbadon called all of the Legions Captains and other officers to him and gave them an ultimatum.

 

'Follow me or die'

 

The majority of the officers gathered swore loyalty to Abbadon then and there. Vaartas spoke out against Abbadon, declaring that Abbadon was insane, and unfit to lead the Legion and reunite the human race under one banner, as was the Emperor's dream. Vaartas was cast out along with his company and other Legionnaires who followed his ideal. Thus the Vanguard came into exsistence.

Why didn't Abaddon kill Vaartas? He already laid down a very definite statement of what would happen to those that did not follow him, and he does not seem to be a one to make empty threats. ;) This sounds like a plot-hook to investigate. Did Vaartas have some sort of plan / leverage / very fast getaway ship to avoid being chopped into very thin strips and flame-grilled? :)

 

 

Vaartas sounds like a logical, calculating master of tactics and strategy, which does not fit with Furious charge in my head, which is more 'let's just have a big punchup!' <_<

 

Other than that, good work. Let's see this develop. :P

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Okay... I've thought about this. I'm going to put it in fiction form, since my brain refuses to act normaly today <_< stupid lousy brain..... grrr.... *ahem* anyway, here goes. It will all be in italics.

 

Also, can anyone tell me the Sons of Horus colour scheme?

 

---Eye of Terror, Abbadon's Battle Barge---

 

The First chosen of Horus, the Champion known as Abbadon, looked over the heads of the kneeling Space Marines. It had been two months since their humiliating defeat at the hands of the Emperor and his Loyalist Legions. Horus was dead, and many of the remaining Primarchs retreated into seclusion to plot their revenge, so Abbadon had called forth their Legions officers and Captains. All except the Alpha Legion and the World Eaters were present, as well as the remaining officers of the Sons of Horus. Abbadon's most trusted Terminators were standing behind him, ready to defend him if it turned bloody.

 

 

Vaartas, 15th Company Captain of the Sons of Horus, knelt with his most trusted comrade, Karichus, awaiting Abbadon's announcement. Vaartas was irritated by this, he had a Company to reorganise and re-equip since the debacle at Terra. Admittedly, Vaartas, like most of the Sons of Horus, seethed with anger at their defeat.

 

'Brother' Karichus hissed 'Why do we kneel here? There are foes to slay...'

 

'Restrain yourself friend, if He called us here, then it must be for a good reason' Vaartas replied. Of course no one heard this exchange, since they were using their personal vox channel.

 

Abbadon cleared his throat.

 

'Follow me. Or die. It is simple. Choose now' he said simply 'And I am not bluffing. I will kill you where you stand if you choose other wise'

 

The Space Marines of the Legions looked at each other, confused. They didn't know what to make of this threat. One Marine, member of the Night Lords, stood up and spoke.

 

'Why should we? You lead a scattered Legion, and your Primarch is dead. Why not follow one of the living Primarchs, such as Magnus or Night Haunter? Or even Angron?' he said, defiance obvious in his voice.

 

Abbadon simply shot him with the bolter built into the Talon of Horus, which he had ripped from the dead Primarch's body. The corpse landed on the floor with a heavy thud, a single smoking hole in the mans head. Vaartas looked at the dead Night Lord and sighed. This was starting to turn ugly.

 

The next Marine to stand up was a Son of Horus. Vaartas recognised him as the 4th Company Captain, a very old and wise Marine.

 

'Why do we not simply awaken one of the Clones of Horus? Surely a new Horus could lead us to victory?' he said humbly.

 

'Horus was weak. Horus was a fool. He had the whole galaxy in his grasp and he let it slip away' Abbadon said, rasing the Talon at the Captain. The Captain simply nodded and fell to one knee.

 

'I swear loyalty to Abbadon! Death to the False Emperor!' he said. One after another, the representives of the Sons of Horus swore loyalty to Abbadon. All except Vaartas and Karichus. They both held their tounge, waiting to see what the other Legions would do.

 

They all swore loyalty to Abbadon, one by one. Vaartas stood up, Karichus tried to stop him, but failed.

 

'You are insane!' Vaartas cried out, pointing at Abbadon 'You are not fit to command the Sons of Horus! How can you even consider this course of action? Follow you? Do you see what happend when we followed you and Horus? We lost! The Emperor won! Accept it you madman!' Vaartas drew his bolt pistol in one quick motion, but Abbadon was faster, snapping of a shot that burst through Vaartas's thigh armour and through the leg.

 

Vaartas fell to one knee, bleeding from the bolt wound.

 

'Vaartas... you are a fool to try and usurp me. We have sided with Chaos, and Chaos has shown me the galaxy burning, all by our hands' Abbadon hissed, the Talon still aimed at the young Captain.

 

'Karichus... go. Now!' Vaartas hissed. The Marine looked confused, then nodded as he understood. That was a code phrase for such a thing. Vaartas stood, defiantly picking up his pistol again and aiming it at Abbadon. This time though a Word Bearer stepped into Vaartas's line of fire and snatched the pistol away.

 

'You are alone Vaartas. No one will help you' the Word Bearer said 'Accept it. Chaos is the path to glory! To power beyond the realm of mortality! Think of the power you could wield! All you must do is follow him' the Word Bearer pointed at Abbadon 'Did you not taste the power when we tore open the gates to the Flase Emperor's palace?'

 

'Your deluded' Vaartas simply said

 

'To prove your loyalty to Chaos! You must kill this one' Abbadon said, pointing at Vaartas, the maniac's gaze firmly locked on the Marine 'Kill him'

 

The Terminators behind Abbadon rasied their weapons and advanced. As did pretty much everyother Marine there, except Abbadon. Just then, something happened. There was an explosion, and klaxons sounded. Vaartas used this distraction to slip away. Those thrice accursed Terminators followed him though.

 

Vaartas ran, those dammed Terminators sending a neverending salvo of bolter shells after him. He snapped off shots with his spare bolt pistol, but the weapon did nothing. Warning klaxons were going off everywhere, and another explosion shook the ship.

 

What had happened was that Karichus had sent a message to Vaartas's own Barge, and their orders were to fire upon this ship, allowing Vaartas and Karichus time to escape. Simple, and a simple plan was sometimes the least expected. Get onto a Thunderhawk, get onto the ship, and jump into the warp. Simple... in theory. Vaartas hadn't counted on the Terminators...

 

 

Somewhere between him running and losing the Terminators, Vaartas had a squad of Sons of Horus running with him. The Champion saluted him, and they ran into the hanger.

 

There was Karichus, exchanging fire with those Terminators. Karichus's plasma pistol was glowing bright hot at the barrel, as he popped back round a corner and fired off a few blasts. One shot went wide, but one hit home, a Terminator's helmet being melted, killing him.

 

'Our Thunderhawk is currently owned by... its previous owners' Karichus said, slipping a new pair of power cells into his pistol.

 

'Me and my Brothers will buy you time to escape' the Champion said, his nineteen other squad-mates cocking their bolters. Vaartas nodded. Then they all burst from cover, firing their various weapons. Karichus's Plasma pistol melted another Terminator, while concentrated bolter fire caused another to die, his body craterd by multipule bolts. The last two Terminators slowly started to back off, firing their combi-bolters.

 

Karichus and Vaartas were the first to get on board the Thunderhawk, the Marine squad not far behind. One unlucky Marine was riddled with bolts, and fell to the floor, lifeless. They were all on board, and the Thunderhawk's front ramp clanged shut, and the Gunship pulled out of the launch bay, firing it's weapons, keeping everything away from it as it lifted off.

 

As they pulled out, Abbadon's Battle Barge made ready with it's guns, aiming at Vaartas's Barge. It wasn't long until Vaartas and his Thunderhawk had landed, when Abbadons ship returned fire. But, alas, Abbadon was to be denied his kill.

 

You see, Vaartas's order also included the order to charge and plot a Warp jump. Bearly twenty seconds after Vaartas had landed in his Barge's landing bay, the ship jumped....

 

((Finally done! WOOT! ^_^ ))

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Well this isnt going to be very helpful, but i like it, its pretty cool. You might want to elaborate on the slipping away from the room in the confusion part as at the moment it seems a bit short for something that should be quite tricky.

 

I dont know maybe the jolt knocks everyone from there feet or the explosion throws up some smoke/gas or something.

 

Also i would imagine that in the time it takes to get to the thunderhawk and then to another ship, Vaartas's ship would have taken some return fire, so maybe describe this, but then before any critical damage is inflicted the ship jumps...

 

Hope this helped.

 

What flavours the cookie? <_<

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Hmmm..I like it, but.. I still wonder why Abbadon didn't shoot him in the head. It's quite a difference between the head of someone and thier leg and he did after all, kill someone else that way just moments before. Also.. he sure does a lot of running from terminators for someone with a serious leg wound (bolter shell through the leg must hurt since they are explosive rounds).

 

Just my opinions, I actually liked most of it.

 

-Pred

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The only thing I would say is that the stories good, but there's two points which could sound better altered. The paragraghs that starts with "what had happened..." and "you see," both should be changed. They seem a bit out of place for the rest of the story. Maybe add a convo between Vaartus + his friend saying "nice explosion"

 

Ferrata

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Yay.. replies!

 

*ahem* It was just a fiction, so a bit of creative liscene (sp?) can justify a few things. Also, the fiction was set about two to three months after the Heresy, so killing off one's most capable officers from one's own Legion, when their experience could better serve the Legion is counter-productive. Anyway, its only a rough thing to give you an idea of what happened.

 

 

*hands out cookies for all!!* :blush:

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Okies, here is a 'revised' thingamajiggy.

 

 

Chaos L.t: Vaartas

Power Weapon (MC) Bolt Pistol, frag grenades, spiky bits, Mark of Chaos Undivided

Vet Skill: Move Through Cover

 

Chaos Sorcerer: Cain the Soulblighter (thought of that meself I did :D )

Bolt Pistol, Mark of Tzeentch, frag grenades, power weapon (might change)

Vet Skill: Move Through Cover

 

Chosen squad

Unit No: 9

Aspiring Champion: Karichus

One with flamer

Rest with CCW and Bolt pistols

Karichus with plasma pistol and power fist

All have Mark of Chaos Undivided

Vet Skill: Move Through Cover

 

Rhino:

Attitional Combi-bolter

Xtra armour, dozer blade, smoke launchers.

 

Whaddya think of mah thingamajiggy?

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That list currently refelcts what I have at the moment. As for spells, I left those out 'cause at the time of writing, I had misplaced my codex. I found it, so no problems there. Spells forth coming, as well as the 10+ strong squad of Marines. Maybe even a Terminator squad ^^.
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pesonally i would have no terminators as you already have chosen anyway im not to sure of the Tzeentch being a demi-patron as it seems a bit .. strange and chaos undivided, i know it offers the re-roll but from the fluff this guy doesnt like chaos so mabye loose the mark (cheaper marines than loyalists then :D )
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  • 3 weeks later...

I got it! Finally! A proper list! :unsure:

 

HQ

 

Chaos Lieutenant : Vaartas

Bolt Pistol (Master Crafted), Power Weapon (Master Crafted), frag Grenades, spiky bits.

 

Vet skills: Counter Attack, Infiltrate, Move Through Cover.

 

Pts Cost: 121

 

 

 

Chaos Sorcerer : Cain The Soulblighter

Mark of Tzeentch, Bolt of Change, Eye of Tzeentch, Bolt Pistol (Inferno Bolts), spkiy bits, Power weapon (looks like a staff), Warp Focus (Power weapon).

 

Pts Cost: 161

 

Elites

 

Chosen: Aspiring Champion : Karichus

Unit size: 9 (inc. Champion)

All with CCW's and Bolt Pistols, frag and krak grenades.

Karichus: Plasma Pistol and Power Fist, spiky bits.

 

Squad Vet skills:Counter Attack

 

Pts Cost: 233

 

Troops

 

Chaos Marine Squad

Unit size: 18

Bolters, two plasma guns.

Champion: Power weapon, bolt pistol and spiky bits

 

Squad Vet skills: Move Through Cover

 

Pts Cost: 294

 

Chaos Marine Squad

Unit size: 10

Armed with CCW's and bolt pistols

Champion : Power weapon, bolt pistol and spiky bits

 

Vet Skills: Furious Charge

 

Pts Cost: 204

 

Squad Rhino: Extra armour, Pintle Combi bolter, Dozer blade, smoke launcher

Pts Cost: 73

 

Heavy Support

 

Dreadnought: Twin Linked Autocannnon, Dread CCW with Twinlinked bolter, extra armour, Havoc launcher, Smoke launcher.

 

Pts Cost: 143

 

Total Cost: 1229

 

Not too big, but nasty nonetheless. Comments welcome :(

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I'm sorry but your fluff is way to unrealistic even for 40k. Abbadon wouldn't care if he was the primarch Horus himself, if anyone spoke out against him, he would kill them.

 

Second all those marines and terminators and they can't kill one guy?

 

Third, if your commander is so bright he should have stayed on his ship and conversed with Abbadon that way. Being so brilliant he had to know how abbadon would react.

 

Your story has some serious holes you need to fill.

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I'm sorry but your fluff is way to unrealistic even for 40k. Abbadon wouldn't care if he was the primarch Horus himself, if anyone spoke out against him, he would kill them.

 

Second all those marines and terminators and they can't kill one guy?

 

Third, if your commander is so bright he should have stayed on his ship and conversed with Abbadon that way. Being so brilliant he had to know how abbadon would react.

 

Your story has some serious holes you need to fill.

 

*ahem* well no duh! And remember, its set almost a couple of years after the Heresy. Abbadon hasn't gone 'Chaos Induced Psyhosis' at this point in time. Ever heard of 'creative lisence'? I do have a BIT of leway when it comes to my works. :cuss :rolleyes: ;)

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Finally got round to reading the Origins Story, and there are a lot of nice bits in it. :) However, there are some things I would suggest that could do with an extra polish, and some question marks on fluff accuracy.

 

- There are a few spelling mistakes ('dammed', 'tounge', 'happend', 'rasing') throughout the piece. I always do my stories in a package like 'Word' as it will have a spellchecker that will pick up most of these problems, and it also gives you the chance to save the story to hard drive as threads only live for about a month before deletion on this board. Printing off a hard copy and reading it aloud is also a really good way to see if the prose flows.

 

- The phrase 'Grand Company' (which would be about a thousand strong) would seem to be a better wording than 'company' for pre-heresy legions.

 

- From my understanding the Sons of Horus / Black Legion went back into the Eye of Terror with it's metaphorical tail between its legs, and it took a long while for Abaddon to finally establish himself as a leader under which the other legions could unite. I could imagine that Abaddon would try to impose his will on the Black Legion itself, but not at this stage on the other legions. It should be simpe enough to re-write it as an all Black Legion party. ;)

 

- Clones of Horus - While Abaddon was proposed to be Horus' clone son, it is also thought that in an unrelated event the Emperor's Children stole the warmaster's body and cloned him, but the body and the clones were destroyed by the BL. I am not sure how the reference in the story ties into these events.

 

- As has been said above, a bolter rounds explode inside the target, so if they penetrated the armour he would lose the leg, or at the least not be able to walk without assistance. Perhaps a re-think on that, and why Horus went for the knee not the head. Was he interrupted by something perhaps?

 

- The line 'Just then, something happened.' could do with a re-write. It does not fit well with the flowing structure of the rest of the story.

 

- Not sure what this line means either...

'Our Thunderhawk is currently owned by... its previous owners' Karichus said, slipping a new pair of power cells into his pistol.

Could it be clarified?

 

- On the general plot, Vaartas is supposed to be a smart guy, so while I can believe that he was willing to hear what Abaddon had to say, that he would have had a good extraction plan if things went wrong. Having the battle barge fire on them seems like a good first step, but how about he had his troops infiltrate the ship to aid his getaway / a unit siezed control and closed the internal bulkheads to escape the termies, which they start breaking through, or any other number of imaginative ways to get out of the rat-trap that he would have expected when he boarded the ship.

 

It would reinforce Vaartas' reputation as a brilliant strategist, would explain how he has been able to avoid Abaddon for 10,000 years, would build up the antagonism between them nicely, and would be more dramatic and satisfying than Vaartas just running away with his dodgy leg from the lumbering terminators.

 

 

This is a nice origin story, these points are intended as a way to help you make it even better. :)

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