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The angels of Dorn


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any way heres a bit of fluff

The Angels of Dorn

Homeworld: Malpesteron prime, Porthon sector

Chapter master: Rubeus Linsader

Founder: Lionel kreig

Geneseed: imperial fists

Mutations: extremely rare

Loyalty: high

Related guard armies: malpesteron guard, atrean guard, Porthon guard.

Relics: sword of shalaine ( daemon sword forbidden usage)

Kreig

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Well,

 

First off good starting points, like the chapter heros, names, dates, ect. But we need more history, like when was the chapter founded, why?For the color scheme,i'd advise looking around(how to paint space marines, GW main site) because its hard for you to ask us for a color scheme for your chapter. But its a good start, keep it coming.

okay ive created a small backstory and about the coulor scheme, i've painted ultras and were going to paint my marines black but it was to boring, i need ideas for a scheme and ive looked evrywere but can't find any ionsparation.

the backstory: =][= jochahim was planing the assault on the Perathon sector 60 years before the assault. he already had the suport of the 112th catachan devils, the cadian firedrakes and around 2000 regiments to colonise the sector. he only had 25 grey knights and a few white consils and knew he would need an entir chapter backing him. Origonaly created to safeguard a dangerous rip in the warp the angels of dorn were a perfect mach. another chapter created from the ultramarines seedd had beed created a few months earlier and posted on the rift so the angels had no other option if they didnt want to be disbanded.

Actually, I think Lord Jochahim is the biggest hole in your fluff at the minute: the crusade begins in 300.M39. He'd been planning it since 240.M39. Since he was already an =][= Lord by then, it'd be reasonable to assume that he was at least 300 when he started planning (which, incidentally, would make him incredibly young for an =][= lord). You have him dying in 230.M40. That would make him over a millennium old! Juvenat and augmetics will only go so far, and probably won't let a person live to be more than 600-odd. 1290 as a minimum age at time of death is way too high, even factoring in sidereal adjustments for time spent in warp travel.

 

Aside from that, I like the concept, it has potential, and its clear you've put a fair bit of thought into it. Just change the date of death, or have it as a different =][= in the later battle. Please?

Heres my 2 cents for you:

 

Firstly, i really like the name :blush:

 

About your colour scheme, seeing as thier angels of dorn i thought you could try maybe white(angels) with certain parts of the armour done in imperial fists yellow? try mixing parts around (shoulder pads and greaves, or maybe half half or something) and see if you can do anything with those two colours. Thier something different, and not black :P

 

Its a much different fluff description,very technically info based. From the sounds of your doctrine, i can see one trait you might want to consider (purity above all). I know its tempting to have your chapter created specifically for a purpose, but really all chapters are created during a founding and 'divided up' into sectors/areas that need the assistance.SO you could have part of the reason jochahim spent 60 years planning the assault is because he knew he needed a space marine chapter and a founding had just recently occured (remember itll take any chapter a good 50 years to get itself up to full strength, maybe longer) and the angels of dorn were avaliable to him.

 

otherwise keep it up.Interesting to see where your chapter goes next when you flesh it out a bit more.

heres some of the ideas for a coulor scheme. 1) white shoulder guards, red torso/ greves and gold trim

2) red armour bone trim/ details

3) green armour (like dark angels) black armour/ details

4) blue armour, not shure about trim

i cant pain yellow :blush: i take my hat off to anyone that can.

also about =][= Jochahim, lets say its his great grandson of the same name.

more fluff:

the history of the jochahim family

for countless centuries there have been =][= lords from the jochahim family. traditonaly every years 25 3 of its members joined the inquisition. 1 witch hunter, 1 daemon hunter and 1 alien hunter. that was until kalbrain jochahim betrayed his family...

the boarding ramp slamed open. 2 figures emerged into the ruins. 1 was a daemon hunter, he wore large silver power armour and a long sword. Attached to his left wrist was a storm bolter. The other was a sleek and slender young women. she wore simple metal armour and carried a customised bolter and a tyranid skull. they moved slently through the ruins until they arived at a large circular dome. It was gloomily lit by candlels surrounding the room. the flooor was littered with mutilated librarians and imperial psykers. standing in the middle was what once was a man, now akin to a daemon prince. without hesitation the two inquisitors fired their bolters , the daemon charged tearing them down with his huge claws. The daemon hunter fell two the floor and in his dying move plunged his sword into the daemons chest, vanquishing his bnrother

after this the jochahim family had a deep mis-trust for witch hunters.

more soon

I like your ideas. The backstory seems to be moving along nicely. I have to agree with the others in that alittle development never hurt.

 

As for your color scheme. White is traditionally the angelic color. Maybe you can take gold as well. They stand out nice toether, but you want ot be original about the applications. I'm thinking the knees, shoulder pad trim, helmet (not the face mask), and arms (under the elbow to the end of the hand) all in gold. This will offset your white quite nicely. Now you just have to base them to make the marines stand out on the table......

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