sangunius' chosen wing

[Sanguinius Chosen Wing]

this is the basic form of my fluff i am coming up with for my chapter. SDo i f any of you could offer help that would be great

 

Sangunius' Wings

 

Origions

The Sangunius Wings' were created in the 28th founding and were issued with two battle barges the the Bloodied Wings and the main Battle Barge Sangunius Chosen Wing they were sent to deliver the Emperors justice were they saw fit. The Sangunius' Wings decided to test thier might against the enemies of mankind. The Sangunius' Wings under the leadership of High Sangunie Chaplain Nathaniel moved thier men to combat the Tyranids massing near the Ultramarines homeworld. The Sangunius' Wings moved in system and faught for a decade against the tyranids learning to act like them and becoming as ferocious and mindless as the besasts they faught. Upon saving the world a Wenen the chapter moved out of system to fight the orks who they had heard much of, though along the way they stoped at the Blood Angles fortress on Ball Secundus and requested a pilgramige to view the sacred home world of thier liege lord. After spending three nights praying upon the will of Sangunius the chapter moved to moved to fight in one of the longest wars in the last century Armeggedon. The chapter learnt much on Amregeddon and faught in the jungles and wastelands using stealth and superior firing power to break ork atacks and assualt them as they fled. it was upon Armeggedon that the Chapter Master Carn met Inqusitor Mikle of the Ordo Xenos who requested thier service in helping him combat the enigmatic Eldar and the young rac of the Tau. Sangunius' Chosen Wing Carn, Master and Lord of the Sangunius' wings pledged a debt to serve the Ordo when ever they need assistance. The Wings of sangunius are currently engaged in hunting down a Chaos spliinter fleet led by a cult of Slannesh. It has also been noted that are prehaps one of the most fanatical followers of Sangunius and it has been know for them to start praying in the middle of battle

 

Home World

The Sangunius' Wings do not have a homeworld as such and recruit members from powerful cultures. They are also know to employ alien technoligies and using large xenos as beast of burden and war. The two battle barges have grown larger over time and have a black strip along each vessel to signify itself as part of the Inqusition

 

Geneseed

The Wings' continue to follow the Blood Angel practice of Blood Transfusion and has resulted in the normal debase geneseed though thier geneseed appears to be more flawed than thier parent chapter though the number fallen to the Black rage are easily restored upon worlds they visit. Like many of the Blood Angel geneseed they search for a way to cure them selves and have quitley started using xenos technology to help the grow angelic wings. Not one bearer of wings has fallen to the curse of sangunius and further study id bieng looked into to see the cause of this.

 

Combat Doctrine

They are considered an assualt force and they have very few members forming any heavy weapons support roles though they do often field a Ball predator and there is more than aenough to have in each detachment. They prfer to use short range melta weapons and powerfists to smash open any who oppose them and have been know to throw all weapons aside and rend at thier enemy with thier teeth and hands. Unusally the chapter is often led by a detachment of Deatchwatch and they are usally used to support the savage assualt of the blood crazed marines. After winning an engagment it is know for them to stop and cover themselves in an enemys blood leading to a significant discolouration.

 

Organisation

Though originally a codex chapter thier ties to the Inqusition and the numerous crusades thier are have led to believe thier may be as many as two thousand marines but this is refuted savagley by the Sangunius Wings. They have many specialised units shared by others of the Blood of Sangunius but they have a unusal aspect of being led by a deathwatch squad which usally consists of all Sangunius Wing members and bringing large four legged xenos to do war with them. They do not have companies but instead refer to themselves as the wings each marine can personalise his armour as seen fit but must always have the black arm that signifies the loss of sangunius and thier ties to the Inqusition

 

Battle Cry

"We are the chosen"

 

http://i7.photobucket.com/albums/y254/sangunius_chosen_wing/ght.jpg

[Barret]

Looks like pretty solid fluff thus far, but I do have a couple of questions.

 

Firstly, are you planning on using Blood Angels rules or Traits for this army? I can't quite tell, as you mention the Black Rage, but also that there's is a particular mutation among the Wings that prevents the BR.

 

I like the adoption of Xeno technology and creatures for combat, what you plan on representing them as, rules-wise? From the sounds of it, they might make for good Land Speeders or perhaps Dreads...

[Zhivago]

The Sangunius Wings' were created in the 28th founding

Erm...there has been only 26 foundings, so.... :huh:

 

They are also know to employ alien technoligies and using large xenos as beast of burden and war.

 

Like many of the Blood Angel geneseed they search for a way to cure them selves and have quitley started using xenos technology to help the grow angelic wings. Not one bearer of wings has fallen to the curse of sangunius and further study id bieng looked into to see the cause of this.

 

Erm... theese two things would make them really unpopular, at least.. if marine was sawn having wings, (by inquisitor or other marines) they would be branded mutants.

See suggestions later...

 

 

They must be either very good at hiding things, or then very good at hiding from the imperium.

 

 

The xeno beast thing is not such a bad things, as most planets have xeno beasts of burden of somekind. Now, the question is how they can get them to space? How they employ the beasts of war?

 

Generally I'd like to hear more of theese beasts.. is there some other reason than to just make chapter sound more feral?

 

 

The basic idea is ok. If we exclude rather joyous looking gun, your colour scheme is best I have seen for a while.

 

I personally would like to add more drama to it. Chapter has found a cure, terrible pricey cure, and now imperium hunts them for it. (Not for the cure itself, but because of the means needed to achieve it). Thus forcing chapter to figth between its loyalities to imperium, and of the chapter itself. Prehaps some friendly inquisitor turns blind eye on them, and in return demand to use them as his personal army...

 

just suggestios :P Your DIY after all...

 

 

Erm... it was not as bad as my post made it sound... :)

[ironloki]

Hmmm. I would perhaps use a spell checker as some parts are hard to read especially as you've put a lot of i's before e's (Eg your spelling of their)

 

I would perhaps elaborate on using Xenos technology as that may be a tricky thing to explain.

 

along the way they stoped at the Blood Angles fortress on Ball Secundus and requested a pilgramige to view the sacred home world of thier liege lord.

 

Also did the whole chapter visit Baal? Are you sure the blood angels would let you do this so easily? Especially as your guys have mutated wings which may bring down a bad image on the blood angels if they associated with such beings.

 

Not bad but a few things such as clearing up a few flaws may help things connect together :devil:

[Sanguinius Chosen Wing]

thanks for the replys i will fix it later today and for what i am using i was going to use the carnosaur rules and have bikers riding bests but the dread idea sounds great

[Martyr]

Since you are using the xenos technology, why can't you just adapt it to the wargear that your marines currently carry. Maybe your techmarine has examined an Eldar Swooping Hawk's armor and figured out how the wings work. Then he could have made a simular set for the assault marines and the like granting them into the power armor. Everything on the power aremo is already biomechanical, so it would be an easy explantion.

 

As for the visit to Baal,... that would take some time. The blood Angels would not react too well to seeing replecations of their primarch. I would suggest you read the novels

Deus Encarmine and Deus Sanguinis. They will shed a little light on how your chapter may be viewed.

[Aurelius Rex]

Angron Khornate has recently done a DIY Blood Angels chapter with some similarities. Link.

 

It is a good article, and a good read as many of the same topics were raised as have been mentioned here.

 

Rather than mutation wings and the problems with the inquisition that this would raise, the idea of grafted on wings (mechanical ones IIRC) to replace jump-packs were eventually seen as a great alternative by all. :cuss

 

Martyr has mentioned the same idea. Linking it too closely to Xenos tech might raise problems, but if it was inspired by a genius techmarine seeing a swooping hawk in battle in the same way that Da Vinci was inspired by watching birds in flight, then you should be ok... perhaps an STC fragment or piece of recovered dark age technology helped him in his researches? ;)

 

 

Other than that, there did seem to be a lot of deviance going on for a chapter so closely tied to the Inquisition... it might be worth toning their excesses back, cutting out the =][= links or coming up with a really good reason why the two are compatable. ;)

 

The background also seemed to try to put the chapter at centre stage with a lot of the first founders (ultras and blood angels) and then took on board Armageddon, orks, tau, chaos... What I am trying to say is that you would be better sticking to a single strong central theme, and working in ideas that relate to it to reinforce the theme. Otherwise it loses focus and runs the risk of coming off as an assorted collection of events.

 

Hope you don't take this the wrong way, there are a lot of strong ideas here, and I would suggest you pick the strongest and run with that without getting distracted with conflicting tangent stories.

 

Keep up the development work. :rolleyes: