The Imperial Dragons - fluff nutshell for critique

[Ivoracle]

So, I've thrashed around my DIY chapter, and re-thrashed it after finding all the nifty info on this site (yay, internet!). This post is not intended to be a detailed fluff write-up, but just a list of my ideas for further critique before I spend a lot of time writing.

 

The Basics:

* Recently-founded chapter; founded in one of the 2-3 most recent foundings

* Gene-seed from a lesser-known Chapter of Ultramarine stock

 

The official history:

* Set up on TBD planet

* Not too long after chapter became established, they packed up virtually their entire chapter and left, disappearing

* Much, much later, they reappeared at a battle location (not a big one, one of the run-of-the mill fights), and saved the bacon of the Imperial force there

* After hearing their story and investigating the chapter, the High Lords sanctioned the continued existence of the chapter under a new name, which now operates from a star fortress

* Chapter patrols Imperial space and respond to threats as needed. They have an uncanny knack for ending up in the right place at the right time

 

The rest of the story:

* Why they disappeared: Chapter claims it received an order from Terra to take the enitire chapter to another star system for combat operation. Where this order came from is unknown. There is no Imperial record of it. Chapter records are sketchy.

* The chapter arrived at the target system without incident, but became trapped there and cut off from communication. Cause TBD, likely related to an unexpected/unusual cosmic/warp anomaly in the system

* System contained an immense space hulk inhabitted by humans who had been trapped there for generations. Half these humans had fallen into Chaos cultism, and the two sides had been at war for as long as they had been stranded.

* The chapter chose to engage the cultists, helping the loyal humans take back their vessel, inch by inch, over countless years.

* During this time, the chapter librarians worked to pierce the warp anomaly to communicate with other Imperial forces. Eventually, the Chief Librarian received a vision that lead to the final defeat of the cultists and to the Chapter escaping from the system (details TBD). The vision involved a great dragon bearing the symbols of the Emperor (thus the Chapter's new name)

* By coincidence or providence, after escaping, the chapter found itself in a position to aid other Imperial forces, as per Imperial records

* The Chapter Librarians continue to receive visions about where they are needed. They attribute these visions to messages from the Emperor.

* Though the chapter seeks to protect Imperial territory and serve the Emperor, it is fiercely independent, and somewhat distrustful of orders from Terra (based on their history)

 

Chapter Trait Advantages and Disadvantages (Significant Divergence):

* Trust Your Battle Brothers (they spent a long time cut off from aid, relying only on each other)

* Uphold the Honor of the Emperor (they see themselves as guided by, and protected by, the Emperor)

* Eye to Eye (Fighting in a space hulk rendered these tactics useless)

* Death Before Dishonor (On the space hulk, retreat was not an option, and this has become an entrenched view)

 

Fighting style:

* Heavy reliance on troops, both standard, scout, and veteran.

* Stand-and-deliver style of fighting - get in position, then blaze away; destroy anything that dares to charge you - hold the line!

* Some use of drop pods (as a space-faring chapter, they use these often) and heavy vehicles (which fit their style - move into position, then open fire and blaze away)

* Little to no use of fast-attack vehicles

 

There ya have it. Feel free to pick it apart. I like the idea of really trying to make a chapter that is a little out of the ordinary, but that still fits the 40K fluff nicely. If you see anything that strikes you as not quite right, please let me know.

[Grand Master Belial]

So, I've thrashed around my DIY chapter, and re-thrashed it after finding all the nifty info on this site (yay, internet!).  This post is not intended to be a detailed fluff write-up, but just a list of my ideas for further critique before I spend a lot of time writing.

 

The Basics:

* Recently-founded chapter; founded in one of the 2-3 most recent foundings

* Gene-seed from a lesser-known Chapter of Ultramarine stock

 

Okay let's see what we've got. Nothing wrong here.

 

The official history:

* Set up on TBD planet

* Not too long after chapter became established, they packed up virtually their entire chapter and left, disappearing

* Much, much later, they reappeared at a battle location (not a big one, one of the run-of-the mill fights), and saved the bacon of the Imperial force there

* After hearing their story and investigating the chapter, the High Lords sanctioned the continued existence of the chapter under a new name, which now operates from a star fortress

* Chapter patrols Imperial space and respond to threats as needed.  They have an uncanny knack for ending up in the right place at the right time

 

Do you have any ideas of what kind of planet? It could be a feral world where the local populace have traditions that seem to produce visions. As this is where the Chapter recruited the bulk of their numbers, some of the traditions have remained and Marines tend to have visions from the Emperor on a more common basis to other Chapters. Chapter may also have a higher number of psykers than other chapters.

 

I'm curious as to what the old name was?

 

Does the entire chapter remain together or does the fleet break apart into Company fleets to do the patrols. Is their Fortress a static object (asteroid) or a spacefaring vessel as well?

 

The rest of the story:

* Why they disappeared:  Chapter claims it received an order from Terra to take the enitire chapter to another star system for combat operation.  Where this order came from is unknown.  There is no Imperial record of it.  Chapter records are sketchy.

* The chapter arrived at the target system without incident, but became trapped there and cut off from communication.  Cause TBD, likely related to an unexpected/unusual cosmic/warp anomaly in the system

* System contained an immense space hulk inhabitted by humans who had been trapped there for generations.  Half these humans had fallen into Chaos cultism, and the two sides had been at war for as long as they had been stranded.

* The chapter chose to engage the cultists, helping the loyal humans take back their vessel, inch by inch, over countless years.

* During this time, the chapter librarians worked to pierce the warp anomaly to communicate with other Imperial forces.  Eventually, the Chief Librarian received a vision that lead to the final defeat of the cultists and to the Chapter escaping from the system (details TBD).  The vision involved a great dragon bearing the symbols of the Emperor (thus the Chapter's new name)

* By coincidence or providence, after escaping, the chapter found itself in a position to aid other Imperial forces, as per Imperial records

* The Chapter Librarians continue to receive visions about where they are needed.  They attribute these visions to messages from the Emperor.

* Though the chapter seeks to protect Imperial territory and serve the Emperor, it is fiercely independent, and somewhat distrustful of orders from Terra (based on their history)

 

Mysterious signal from the warp. I like it. ;)

 

An idea for Warp blackout. Target system is partially behind the Malestrom. Once there, the Malestrom surges and flares distorting and hiding the Astromicon from the Chapter.

 

Plot idea, aboard the Hulk is a pair of Greater Deamons of Tzeentch (twins) who must be banished in order to allow the turmoil in the Warp to abate and allow the Chapter to leave. (And breaking up Tzeentch's mystical experiment)

 

Being near the Malestrom will allow it to help Imperial Forces as they break free.

 

Chapter Trait Advantages and Disadvantages (Significant Divergence):

* Trust Your Battle Brothers (they spent a long time cut off from aid, relying only on each other)

* Uphold the Honor of the Emperor (they see themselves as guided by, and protected by, the Emperor)

* Eye to Eye (Fighting in a space hulk rendered these tactics useless)

* Death Before Dishonor (On the space hulk, retreat was not an option, and this has become an entrenched view)

 

Is Eye to Eye to be used or is this for history's sake and the trait has been lost.

 

Fighting style:

* Heavy reliance on troops, both standard, scout, and veteran.

* Stand-and-deliver style of fighting - get in position, then blaze away; destroy anything that dares to charge you - hold the line!

* Some use of drop pods (as a space-faring chapter, they use these often) and heavy vehicles (which fit their style - move into position, then open fire and blaze away)

* Little to no use of fast-attack vehicles

 

I can see a line of grounded Assault Marines fighting through tight corridors where the long range firepower of the Bolter would be reduced. In a bigger area, I seem them as the skirmish screen to protect the bolter carrying brethren. On command the line pushes forward a step at a time to repel their opponents. How about Terminators?

 

Looks good otherwise, you'll have to shows a painted mini.

[Ivoracle]

Do you have any ideas of what kind of planet? It could be a feral world where the local populace have traditions that seem to produce visions.

That's an interesting idea. Another idea I've toyed around with is having the chapter battling on the space hulk for such a long time that they were forced to recruit from the "local populace" of loyal humans (with careful screning by their Apothecaries, of course). In this scenario, there could be a mutation among these long-isolated people related to the visions. But the feral world is interesting as well.

 

I'm curious as to what the old name was?

I'm thinking "Imperial Phalanx", with gene-seed from the "Imperial Paladins". The name would relate to an original mission for the chapter to be another "watchtower" of sorts along a dangerous area. This might fit well with activity near the Maelstrom.

 

Does the entire chapter remain together or does the fleet break apart into Company fleets to do the patrols. Is their Fortress a static object (asteroid) or a spacefaring vessel as well?

Good question. I had envisioned a single fleet, but now that you mention it, the idea of smaller, perhaps company-sized fleets is interesting. The original idea has their central fortress as mobile. I see it as wandering in a kind of zen fashion, guided by urgings from their Librarians.

 

 

Plot idea, aboard the Hulk is a pair of Greater Deamons of Tzeentch (twins) who must be banished in order to allow the turmoil in the Warp to abate and allow the Chapter to leave. (And breaking up Tzeentch's mystical experiment)

 

Is Eye to Eye to be used or is this for history's sake and the trait has been lost.

Eye to Eye will be used. The Chapter got isolated when it was still young, and as a result of its confinement, it never fully developed Fast Attack vehicle tactics. As they continued to develop in this environment, things that happened as a matter of necessity became part of their philosophy. Now, they have a strong belief in facing their foes "eye to eye", using marines with jump packs as their primary hit-and-run unit.

 

I can see a line of grounded Assault Marines fighting through tight corridors where the long range firepower of the Bolter would be reduced. In a bigger area, I seem them as the skirmish screen to protect the bolter carrying brethren. On command the line pushes forward a step at a time to repel their opponents. How about Terminators?

When they fought on the space hulk, I see them as having fought a battle of gaining a foot and holding it for a week, then gaining another inch and holding it for a day. Then another inch. Rapid fire tearing apart any who approached, and then fighting bolter and chainsword (ala True Grit) to repel any chargers. Their basic tactics stem from this style. Terminators - yep, they've got 'em. Dreadnaughts as well (being, in my mind, the big-brother of Terminators). I see their true assault marines being more like rapid-response units than as charge-leaders taking the fight to the enemy. Though they can certainly fill that role if needed.

 

Edited to talk about paint: As for paint schemes, I'm actually far more creative with my stories than with my painting. I'm very fond of the new Ultramarines blue-and-gold, so I'm going with a slight variation on that theme. I've decided that, although this chapter uses Codex squad organization on the battlefield, their companies are organized differently, with each company being almost a mini-chapter to itself. And within each company, every marine is expected to be able to fulfill any role on the battlefield. As such, while company distinctions will show up on the models, squad type will not. Effectively there are no "squad types", just "jobs" to be done on the battlefield.

[Tubal]

If the humans on the hulk has been living there for a few generations then perhaps the original astropaths had children. A ship may only have a few astropaths but that's a lot more than the average of a normal human population so they would add a lot of psychic potential to the gene-pool. That could explain why newly recruited marines would have visions.

Those who have the visions don't necessarily have to be librarians either, there is fluff (from Gaunt's Ghosts? Can't remember) that many "normal" humans are able to use psychic powers subconsciously, they just regard themselves as lucky. Uncontrolled visions after a period of fasting and prayer is exactly the sort of thing an untrained weak psyker might be able to have; In the trilogy "the Inquisition War" (OLD book though, Rogue Trader era) there is an Imperial Fist who uses pain to get guidance from, he believes, Rogal Dorn.

If you like conspiracies you could hint that it was the Emperor himself who sent the message in order for them to find this psychically evolved population to harness their power and save them from possession. Or maybe it was Tzeentch?... :D

 

Just a thought.

 

++Edit

BTW, the Phalanx is the Imperial Fists fortress ship so maybe the Imperial Paladins (and thus the Imperial Phalanx) are a successor? They could use the pain-glove (like the fists) to put the marines in a trance-state when they want visions :)

[jimmythemoose]

Those who have the visions don't necessarily have to be librarians either, there is fluff (from Gaunt's Ghosts? Can't remember) that many "normal" humans are able to use psychic powers subconsciously, they just regard themselves as lucky.

 

Kind of, the sergeant keeps on getting messages written to him in his hand writing warning him of stuff that's about to happen. He uses his powers subconsciously but suspects himself of having powers.

 

However, in a space marine chapter any one who has latent psychic powers would probably be detected by the librarians probing upon entry to the chapter.

[Tubal]

Kind of, the sergeant keeps on getting messages written to him in his hand writing warning him of stuff that's about to happen. He uses his powers subconsciously but suspects himself of having powers.

Actually, that's not the reference I mean. I suspect I may have read it somewhere else but I've forgotten where :D

Someone with that obvious powers would probably be picked up by the librarium, that's true.

[farseerixirvost]

* Trust Your Battle Brothers (they spent a long time cut off from aid, relying only on each other)

 

 

Based on all the other stuff you said, I'd almost think that "Take the Fight to Them" (tactical squads can be equipped w/ pistol & ccw instead of bolter) would be more appropriate. After all, they've been doing a lot of close-quarters fighting, so the longer range of the bolter would seem a waste.

 

I like the rest of it - including the suggestions posted here.

[Ivoracle]

Based on all the other stuff you said, I'd almost think that "Take the Fight to Them" (tactical squads can be equipped w/ pistol & ccw instead of bolter) would be more appropriate.

[Ferrata]

I would not have a name change, this seems to be recurring more and more these days and has become a little too overused. How about they were called the Imperial Dragons from the start, and the vision with the Dragon just made them know it was meant for them.

 

Everything else seems really good :D I think you should use Tubal's idea of the astropaths breeding. Depending on how long the humans where cut off, more and more of the population would have powers, even if reduced ones.

 

One last note, stop saying Stand and Deliver, all I can think about is the Adam and the Ants song......

 

Ferrata

[Grand Master Belial]

When they fought on the space hulk, I see them as having fought a battle of gaining a foot and holding it for a week, then gaining another inch and holding it for a day.  Then another inch.  Rapid fire tearing apart any who approached, and then fighting bolter and chainsword (ala True Grit) to repel any chargers.  Their basic tactics stem from this style.  Terminators - yep, they've got 'em.  Dreadnaughts as well (being, in my mind, the big-brother of Terminators).  I see their true assault marines being more like rapid-response units than as charge-leaders taking the fight to the enemy.  Though they can certainly fill that role if needed.

 

Edited to talk about paint:  As for paint schemes, I'm actually far more creative with my stories than with my painting.  I'm very fond of the new Ultramarines blue-and-gold, so I'm going with a slight variation on that theme.  I've decided that, although this chapter uses Codex squad organization on the battlefield, their companies are organized differently, with each company being almost a mini-chapter to itself.  And within each company, every marine is expected to be able to fulfill any role on the battlefield.  As such, while company distinctions will show up on the models, squad type will not.  Effectively there are no "squad types", just "jobs" to be done on the battlefield.

 

That's sort of what I was getting at. I envisioned the battle depicted in "Troy" where there was a large number of men outside the walls with the archers on them. After the two sides meet, Hector gives the order to "PUSH!" and as one the entire force take a step forward pushing their opponents back. I was thinking of this with 40K Marines. I like the idea of True Grit though.

 

Your paint scheme comments suggests to me a Black Templar-esque army. Instead of Companies, they are Crusades (of varying sizes and compositions). This can be tied into your fleet in that an Entire Company is not on one ship (don't put all your eggs in one basket) This can mean that a Terminator Sergeant had the same vision as a 4th Company Librarian and has taken to going with the 4th knowing that their skills will be needed as declared by the visions. In this way you can have a mix-match army that allows specialist Companies to join with their brethren.

 

I'm debating the idea of going more for a Templar army list and have your Scouts mixed in with the Marines. Since they won't be inclined to infiltrate, but instead take and hold ground at all costs. I can see them Side-by-Side with their full brethren holding the line and showing the fortitude to stare down the opposition and give them a taste of hot lead.

 

Belial Out.

[Ivoracle]

Another opportunity for input: the name.

 

I'm only partially convinced that "Imperial Dragons" is a good name. I like the "dragon" part, but that mostly relates to an old DIY chapter I had years (and years) ago. I'm also incorporating some minis from that old chapter, and I like the chapter symbol they have - a stylized dragon (though it could easily be a stylized bird too).

 

So, if anyone has a clever name idea that would fit both the fluff and the symbol I'm selfishly sticking with (mostly out of nostalgia), I'd be glad to entertain those ideas as well.

[Tubal]

Well, there's nothing wrong with the name so go ahead and keep it if you want. Since you already have a fitting symbol too then you'd have to come up with one of those as well. Sounds like a lot of work for no reason to me :)

[Grand Master Belial]

Well, there's nothing wrong with the name so go ahead and keep it if you want. Since you already have a fitting symbol too then you'd have to come up with one of those as well. Sounds like a lot of work for no reason to me :lol:

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

 

Agreed. I like the name you've got.

 

So why fix something that isn't broken?

 

(Your not a politician, are you? :) )

 

Belial Out