BrotherCaptian Posted July 22, 2005 Share Posted July 22, 2005 Edited+++ Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/80229-the-legion-of-the-infernatus-history/ Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ferrata Posted July 22, 2005 Share Posted July 22, 2005 I Like the idea :devil: but theres some points in the story which seem a little odd. Mostly to do with the usage of Garm's name. I'll explain myself better in the morning, but try reading it through yourself slowly (thus not adding anywords that you thought you wrote) and see where it doesnt make sense. Such as naming Garm before hand then saying On their way back they were engaged by a Tyranid Brood lord named Garm Ferrata Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/80229-the-legion-of-the-infernatus-history/#findComment-927470 Share on other sites More sharing options...
BrotherCaptian Posted July 24, 2005 Author Share Posted July 24, 2005 Hmm, i didnt catch that at 1st thanks, =) il go back and work on and thanks for the reply i was begining to wonder if anyone was reading it lol =) Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/80229-the-legion-of-the-infernatus-history/#findComment-928374 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ferrata Posted July 24, 2005 Share Posted July 24, 2005 Hmm, i didnt catch that at 1st thanks, =) il go back and work on and thanks for the reply i was begining to wonder if anyone was reading it lol =) I often find writing something up, leaving it for a couple of days and then reading it again works well. By then, you've generally forgotten what you wrote or wanted to write so spot mistakes more easily. Im currently going through all my fluff to check for mistakes, edit bits and get me in the mindset for the next piece. Ferrata Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/80229-the-legion-of-the-infernatus-history/#findComment-928685 Share on other sites More sharing options...
BrotherCaptian Posted July 27, 2005 Author Share Posted July 27, 2005 Ya Im going back through my fluff right now looking for errors and other pieces that dont make much sense, im sorry it so long i just started typing and well it grew too an outrageous piece, by the way do you know any of the Imperial worlds or systems in the eastern fringe sector ive looked in all the codexs and cant find any and i remember seeing a macragge world in a book and cant remember what codex it was in. Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/80229-the-legion-of-the-infernatus-history/#findComment-931253 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Librarian- Melechor Posted July 27, 2005 Share Posted July 27, 2005 Macragge, is the home of the ultramarines, and the eastern fringe is the home to ultramar, their home system, which consists of quite a few planets at that. There was Sothia, but that was the home of the scythes of the emperor, before the nids took it out. Your best bet would probably be to create your own world, that way it fits into your fluff better, and you can create any details you like about the surrounding area. Hope that helps, LM Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/80229-the-legion-of-the-infernatus-history/#findComment-931258 Share on other sites More sharing options...
BrotherCaptian Posted July 27, 2005 Author Share Posted July 27, 2005 Thanks arent there any books because i was looking for a select system to say that the planets my chapter are from no longer exist due to leviathans 1st appearance and desimated the sector except a forgeworld a feral and half of the home world i was just looking to give ppl more of a speific answer as to where they are from. Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/80229-the-legion-of-the-infernatus-history/#findComment-931259 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Librarian- Melechor Posted July 27, 2005 Share Posted July 27, 2005 I'm not sure on the maps, there are probably some Ferrata can hunt down for us, :lol: but if you can't find one, then creating a system would work well for your ideas, you would just have to say HFL either passed it without wiping it out, or the remains of it attacked it. LM Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/80229-the-legion-of-the-infernatus-history/#findComment-931261 Share on other sites More sharing options...
BrotherCaptian Posted July 27, 2005 Author Share Posted July 27, 2005 Will if ferrata doesnt mind i could use them lol :lol: also since im a ultramarine succesor *hush* we dont like to claim that we are, big grudge* will explain later when i get to that point in the fluff. Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/80229-the-legion-of-the-infernatus-history/#findComment-931265 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ferrata Posted July 27, 2005 Share Posted July 27, 2005 I'm not sure on the maps, there are probably some Ferrata can hunt down for us:lol: Galaxy Map which lots of people know about. It doesnt show individual systems, but shows you the general layout of the big planets. Just say they come from the [insert name of your choice] System which is located in the North/South/East/West of the Ultima Segmentum :D im sorry it so long i just started typing and well it grew too an outrageous piece, Trust me, this isnt long. You'll soon get addicted to writing about your chapter. I havem over 4000 words on mine, and thats not including the other stories ::cuss: I'm bet quite a few others but my lot to shame though. ;) Ferrata Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/80229-the-legion-of-the-infernatus-history/#findComment-931481 Share on other sites More sharing options...
BrotherCaptian Posted July 27, 2005 Author Share Posted July 27, 2005 Thanks a lot that map is going to really help out a bunch =) also do either of you know of a english to latin translator i could look up names for my Chapter, i plan on naming every model =\ and all i have so far are the sergeants Chaplain and Librarian. plus what would be a good start to have a chapter dislike the other ive read the stuff about the dark angels and space wolves, but i want it with my chapters master and calgar what would be fluff approiate? Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/80229-the-legion-of-the-infernatus-history/#findComment-931823 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ferrata Posted July 27, 2005 Share Posted July 27, 2005 Ask and thou shall recieve - Latin Translator i want it with my chapters master and calgar what would be fluff approiate? I'm not a fan of anti-1st founding/big chapter stories, it always seems to me a bit of "30 seconds of fame". If it is a personeal dislike to Ultra's, I would not include in your fluff, but if somet you would really like then something along the lines of. Fought together, due to the Ultra's tactics lost more men then what they could have if they were in charge or Ultra's gave them orders they didnt like I would not go for the usual "Dislike the Ultra''s snoberish" because this sounds childish and I dont think the Ultras are snobs :( Ferrata Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/80229-the-legion-of-the-infernatus-history/#findComment-931833 Share on other sites More sharing options...
BrotherCaptian Posted July 27, 2005 Author Share Posted July 27, 2005 thanks for the translator ferrata ya the dispute option il have to toy around with the idea but the idea i was planning on using was bewteen the chapters 1st grandmaster and the master calgar insulted the chapter calling them untrained unworthy warriors of the Emperor, along the lines of the dispute of a chapters insult pretty much, and yea it will be a 30 second flame fight but its a stain on the chapters history. Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/80229-the-legion-of-the-infernatus-history/#findComment-931878 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ferrata Posted July 27, 2005 Share Posted July 27, 2005 I would be more tempted to use someone else other than the Ultra's, but maybe thats because I'm a cupboard Ultra's fan (along with the Fists and Sallies) :( Ferrata Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/80229-the-legion-of-the-infernatus-history/#findComment-932064 Share on other sites More sharing options...
BrotherCaptian Posted July 27, 2005 Author Share Posted July 27, 2005 Ya i like the sallies and fists (which is why im using their fist as my logo) but still whats better then not to be a successor chapter of the ultramarines and old a grudge against them because of calgar insulting this new chapter to help aid him in the war against the tyranids. but eh let me play with the idea tonight and il post it tommorrow ferrata any comments on calgar or links about who he is and stuff would be great =) Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/80229-the-legion-of-the-infernatus-history/#findComment-932070 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Librarian- Melechor Posted July 27, 2005 Share Posted July 27, 2005 I'm not sure if Calgar would insult them or refuse their help, no matter how proud the Ultramarines feel they are. Maybe you could say your chapter ignored orders and this angered him, causing a schism between your chapter and the ultramarines. LM Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/80229-the-legion-of-the-infernatus-history/#findComment-932073 Share on other sites More sharing options...
BrotherCaptian Posted July 29, 2005 Author Share Posted July 29, 2005 Edited+++ Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/80229-the-legion-of-the-infernatus-history/#findComment-933072 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Commissar Molotov Posted July 29, 2005 Share Posted July 29, 2005 If your character placed a bolt pistol anywhere near Marneus Calgar's head, it would take a crack team of surgeons weeks to remove it out of whichever orifice Calgar's Honour Guard would have stuffed it. To put it simply, you do not mess with one of the first founding chapters. You might need to explain what exactly Calgar ordered that lead to Imperial citizens being endangered. Calgar's never struck me as someone who would endanger Imperial citizens without a very good reason. Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/80229-the-legion-of-the-infernatus-history/#findComment-933082 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ferrata Posted July 29, 2005 Share Posted July 29, 2005 It could work, if it wasnt for them being Ultramarines. Besides Sallies, Ultras are probably one of the most pro-human chapters. Im not saying their nice and fluffy, but they wouldnt order an action to kill/endanger a thousand Imperial Citizens if there was another way. & trust me, they would find another way if it existed, their Ultra's, they do planning. If you used someone like the Marines Malevolent, who did fire upon Imperial Citizens at Armegeddon (Linky) then it would make more sense. I cant see many Chapter Masters being able to do that with Calger without having several powerfists inserted in places where they shouldnt fit. then you or your chapter of glory hogging lackeys This is a misconception. The Ultramarines fluff-wise dont glory hog, GW pushes them forward into the shops. Theres a difference. The Ultra's do take a lot of the SM time up in the real world, along with SW, BT, BA and DA. But in the 40k world they dont go around saying "We're Ultramarines, We are the Best." Other chapters just respect them because they do a lot of good stuff. It would make more sense, and more fun to write, if your chapter was in the wrong and disobeyed orders for some fool-hardy reason like the DA do chasing the Fallen. Ferrata Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/80229-the-legion-of-the-infernatus-history/#findComment-933408 Share on other sites More sharing options...
jimmythemoose Posted July 29, 2005 Share Posted July 29, 2005 I think it's best if DIYs usually steer clear from first founding chapters, especially having arguments with them. Make it another chapter, as first foundings make up less than 1% of the total number of chapters. Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/80229-the-legion-of-the-infernatus-history/#findComment-933465 Share on other sites More sharing options...
BrotherCaptian Posted July 30, 2005 Author Share Posted July 30, 2005 Calgar ordered that lead to Imperial citizens being endangered. Calgar's never struck me as someone who would endanger Imperial citizens without a very good reason. The death of a Ultramarine world over run by tyranids i think calgar would simply excommunicate any number of Imperial Citizens to keep another planet from falling to the Nids. lol that needs a little explaning the Infernatus are a successor chapter of the UltraMarines and to me i know all the chapters respect each other but you know there are some that try to out best the others (speaking of the Emperors Children for instance wanted to be the best of the best, and yes i understand that makes my chaptera lil heretical) and yes i understand a bolt pistol in calgars face is a lil extreme, so i decided to drop the fight and the previous story and redid the history of the Infernatus in a timeline fashion a lil more easy to accept and less strenous on me to figure out what happens. so here is the new History lol but thanks for the input on the 1st go. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 104.M31 - The Birth of The Infernatus Legion on Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/80229-the-legion-of-the-infernatus-history/#findComment-934213 Share on other sites More sharing options...
jimmythemoose Posted July 30, 2005 Share Posted July 30, 2005 800.M38 - The Infernatus attack The Craftworld Planet IYANDEN.Iyanden isn't a planet, it's a ship. 549.M41 - The Infernatus Companies 5th-6th exterminate a Tau cult presence on SOTHA What do you mean by cult? Wouldn't just "prescence" make more sense. 759.M41 - The Infernatus Companies 1st - 3rd aid in the Defense of MACRAGGE against Hive Fleet BehemothOnly the ultras were present at Macragge. 999.M41 - The Infernatus Legion Companies 1st - 9th aid in the Defense of The Cadian Gate999.M41 - 13th Black Crusade Begins How would they defend the gate before the crusade begins? Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/80229-the-legion-of-the-infernatus-history/#findComment-934296 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Commissar Molotov Posted July 30, 2005 Share Posted July 30, 2005 Jimmy, the Cadian gate has been constantly defended since the Heresy. It's designed to stop small raiding fleets leaving the EoT, and also in the event of a black crusade. 549.M41 - The Infernatus Companies 5th-6th exterminate a Tau cult presence on SOTHA Sotha is the homeworld of the Scythes of the Emperor. 549.M41 is also too early for the Tau. The Damocles Crusade was cut short by Hive Fleet Behemoth in 745.M41. I'd also question whether the Tau really establish 'cults' in that sense. Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/80229-the-legion-of-the-infernatus-history/#findComment-934365 Share on other sites More sharing options...
jimmythemoose Posted July 30, 2005 Share Posted July 30, 2005 Jimmy, the Cadian gate has been constantly defended since the Heresy. It's designed to stop small raiding fleets leaving the EoT, and also in the event of a black crusade. Yes, but I doubt a full nine companies would be present outside of a black crusade. Take the date into account, and I think he meant to have those two the other way round. Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/80229-the-legion-of-the-infernatus-history/#findComment-934397 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ferrata Posted July 30, 2005 Share Posted July 30, 2005 BrotherCaptian I've seen what you've done. You've use that link I gave you to find planets, but I would not do this. All those planets have had some GW action on them, thus are tied up in fluff. Now if you make your own planets up, no-one cane say it never happened. Also, You've got your chapter on the east (fighting 'Nids) then going across all the way across the universe to the Cadian Gate. Even using the warp, thats a hell of a distance. Ferrata Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/80229-the-legion-of-the-infernatus-history/#findComment-934414 Share on other sites More sharing options...
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