The Roaring Stags, Scary stuff you have ever heard

[Swordie]

Hey fellas, I need a bit of help with my DIY Chapter. I have worked on this chapter for a while and what to know how I did, since this is the first DIY chapter I have tried. ;)

 

++CHAPTER NAME++ Roaring Stags

 

++SYSTEM++ Segmentum Obscurus

 

++PLANET++ Bray, Minor Imperial World / Outpost.

 

++GENESEED++ Howling Griffons

 

++FOUNDING++ 682.M38 ++Number++ Data Corrupted

 

++ Chapter Icon++ Data Corrupted

 

++ Chapter Colours++ Gore Red, White and Black

 

++War Cry++ Data Corrupted

 

++ Chapter History++ The Roaring Stags were founded due the menacing threat of the Chaos Lord, Fabius Bile, who had landed on Bray to survey a new staging area for Armageddon Wars. Bray, the Minor Imperial World, was colonised by citizens of the Imperium to turn this Forest planet into a Agricultural world, to supply the rest of the Imperium.

 

682.M38 - The population demanded the creation of a new chapter to protect the planet from the Chaos threat, If he was ever to return. The Adeptus Mechanius, was not convinced that the Chaos lord would return, however a combined effort of the Armageddon Steel Legions High Command and the Salamander

[ironloki]

Nice start you have there :). Im not sure about the name though. I've not seen many Stags Roar :P Thats more of a big cat thing.

 

Apart from that

 

682.M38 - The population demanded the creation of a new chapter to protect the planet from the Chaos threat, If he was ever to return. The Adeptus Mechanius, was not convinced that the Chaos lord would return, however a combined effort of the Armageddon Steel Legions High Command and the Salamander

[Swordie]

Yes it does alot thank you for you quick reply. I will redo it and post it back. ;)

 

Oh Btw stags do roar / bellow. And It is BLOODY LOUD. It is very much like a roar. :) Not joking either.

[Kastellan Kong]

++ Chapter History++

[Swordie]

Exactly what did Fabius Bile have to do with the first invasion of Armageddon? Using existing characters is a bit risky.

But if you have to then try and come up with a reason why it had to be Fabius and not someone else... Maybe scouts from the World Eaters or something...

 

I looked at the system of planets and there was Bray, I realised that the planet did have some history to it. When I read the 2 line history ;) I realised that it was perfect Name. Also Fabius Bile was mentioned it stated "Fabius Bile is known to have landed on Bray." So therefore the planet was a possible target and / or launching pad agaisnt other planets in the system. Reference : Bray

 

The population has no say what-so-ever in the creation of a chapter...

I know that, that is why there was a push by the High command of the steel legion and the salamanders.

 

Ok, I'm having a little trouble getting the hang of this... If the chapter was created to protect Armageddon then how come that they don't take part in any major operations? (also the third war of Armageddon is still going on...)

Ask yourself why you want the chapter to have links to the planet? Does it make your chapter more interesting? There are lots of planets in the galaxy that are threatened by chaos why does it have to be the most infamous one?

The reason they have not taken part in any major operations / missions it that the Chapter has not been call upon and the need of another Chapter was not dire. They have taken part in minor operations but nothing that would turn the tide. Mop- ups mission yes. Yes I think they sound more interesting. Why Bray because it was close to Terra and Armageddon and there was little known about the planet so I could write the chapters creation and I thought Stags bray why not?? The possiblities are endless if there is nothing about it.

 

Hope that helps? ^_^

[Commissar Molotov]

As mentioned, Bray already has a history to it. That means that GW could release next month's White Dwarf and say 'Oh, and because we failed to mention it - Bray got blown up by devil-pixies.' and you couldn't do anything about it. At least if you create your own world, you have control over your fluff. Plus it's a little cheesy being from a world called bray. ;)

 

There have been other comments, but let's see:

Bray would likely have Imperial Guard rather than Space Marines founded for its' defense. Space Marines are almost never assigned to guard anywhere - there's simply not enough of them to do a good enough job and they're too valuable to waste sitting around on the off-chance that Fabius Bile might come back. Space Marine foundings are ordered by the High Lords of Terra. Only they can order the creation of a chapter, and so you might need to revise the reason your chapter was founded.

You seem to like tying your chapter into established incidents and fluff. I don't think it gives your chapter the character you want. It resigns them to background players, boring two-dimensional characters. I think you're better off creating your own incidents, in the grey areas GW fluff leaves.

 

As mentioned, your chapter's views are entirely peculiar.

[Kastellan Kong]

I looked at the system of planets and there was Bray, I realised that the planet did have some history to it. When I read the 2 line history :huh: I realised that it was perfect Name. Also Fabius Bile was mentioned it stated "Fabius Bile is known to have landed on Bray." So therefore the planet was a possible target and / or launching pad agaisnt other planets in the system. Reference : Bray

Yes... well have you looked up what Fabius did on Bray? It might just be that he did something important there (you know the famous characters tend to do that...)

I still think that it is a bad idea to use the planet especially since you don't know the planets history.

 

The reason they have not taken part in any major operations / missions it that the Chapter has not been call upon and the need of another Chapter was not dire. They have taken part in minor operations but nothing that would turn the tide. Mop- ups mission yes. Yes I think they sound more interesting. Why Bray because it was close to Terra and Armageddon and there was little known about the planet so I could write the chapters creation and I thought Stags bray why not?? The possiblities are endless if there is nothing about it.

... Forgive me but I still can't follow you... If it was so important that they be created, then wouldn't they have been needed by now? It still seems a little strange to me...

I would suggest that you try and keep away from the more established fluff since it usually doesn't contribute that much to the chapter history and makes it so much harder to write good fluff... and makes it hard for other people to accept...