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Angls of Bone Fluff for rating


BoneAngel

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Very solid background and a unique twist. The only holes my thudd gun could find was the war-cry. The war-cry seems to be too long for battle, perhaps change it to a litany of faith? If you could expand the background more not only would you have a truly great DIY chapter, but an original one.

I find the name a bit... 'off', personally. Have you considered something similar? The Ebon Angels? Ivory Angels? Up to you.

 

The idea that the marines killed themselves to stop the spread of the taint is a good one; it lends your chapter an air of nobility and tragedy that suits them. However, I'm not sure about the name-change. It strikes me that your chapter would be dishonouring its' past further by disassociating itself from those of the past. I don't think the name-change adds anything to your chapter.

 

I do like how the plague has affected your chapter's views on genetic purity. The stringent purity checks are something that would appeal to my Castigators. :)

 

I did find it odd that the tenth company finds itself without the full support of the chapter - losing them when their progenoids haven't had time to grow would effectively kill the chapter off, slowly but surely. I would think that once they've passed the genetic tests to have the organs implanted, they would be offered a certain amount of support. The scout company, without tanks or much in the way of heavy support, wouldn't be able to survive if that wasn't the case.

I did find it odd that the tenth company finds itself without the full support of the chapter - losing them when their progenoids haven't had time to grow would effectively kill the chapter off, slowly but surely. I would think that once they've passed the genetic tests to have the organs implanted, they would be offered a certain amount of support. The scout company, without tanks or much in the way of heavy support, wouldn't be able to survive if that wasn't the case.

 

If the chapter was really stringent with the purity of its subjects over the ease genetic matches it may use the not-as-pure-as-I-should-be scouts as Ghoulas.

Organ donors? I suppose, but I don't think the marines go in for the donation of organs usually. I suppose they could, but what with bionics and the like they wouldn't need to. Mind-scrubbing failed initiates and using them to grow spare progenoids could work, I suppose.
I suppose, but I don't think the marines go in for the donation of organs usually

 

They're not technically marines. They are humans who have good genetic matches with the gene-seed. Implanted with the growing organs, they are kept under watch by the chapter. When the organs mature they are harvested, the humans are destroyed and gene-seed and organs aplenty come back to the apocatharies to implant in marines/scouts.

I find the name a bit... 'off', personally. Have you considered something similar? The Ebon Angels? Ivory Angels? Up to you.

 

seconded.. tho i have heard rumours that Specialist Games once had plans to make a Necromunda campaign that would have a Daemon Prince coming into being in the Underhive of Hive Primus ~ the lead up to which would draw the attentions of the Grey Knights and a Blood Angel Successor called the Bone Angels..

 

Skeleton Fists really sounds aweful tho.. other than that the fluff is rather cool :D

I think your battle cry, though cool, might be a bit long, it sounds more like a prayer. How about just "PURITY IN DEATH!" or maybe

 

Chaplin: YOU SHALL BURN!

Space Marines: FOR WE ARE THE FIRE OF PURITY!!

 

thats all I can think of off the top of my head, just some thing to think about.

 

Peace :D

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