Wings of Death

[Ferrata]

With the Imperial Castellan's taking my focus for a while, I've been neglecting the Wings of Death. Before I start writing their extended IA article, I thought I would offer the basic outline to make sure there are no fluff issues which need to be changed.

 

A loyal chapter of the Emperor turned traitor after their father abandoned them in their hour of need, the Wing

[Commissar Molotov]

The mantra you'll always find me repeating is 'What does this add to your chapter's character?'. In this case, the Wolves of Veles. Why create a chapter for your fluff only to decimate it? What does it give your chapter, being trained by the last surviving veterans of another chapter?

 

Perhaps 'forgotten' is a bit harsh. Maybe there are other actions that have diverted attention away from the Aetheris Stars, but I'm not so sure on just saying that they've been 'forgotten'. If they've been forgotten, what were the Wings of Death doing there?

 

Next, these angels. You seem to leave it unmentioned, as they go on with their business. I'd say that these angels would be a pretty big deal, investigated by the Wings' Librarians, the Inquisition - the whole lot. Seriously.

 

To be honest, I'm not entirely convinced with your chapter storming off from the Inquisitor in a huff, and then coming back as Evil Chaos Marines from Hell™ (ECMfH™). The image of a chapter assailing against a fortress in vain is a pretty cool one, but consider that the Necron threat is a fairly recent one. Perhaps some other race more likely to capture and hold a fortress? Perhaps something more dramatic should happen, but I'm unsure.

 

Aside from that, your fluff for the most part is sound, and should bear up into an IA article well. It'll perhaps be easier to offer more direct comments once you've done it. :)

Edited April 11, 2006 by Commissar Molotov

[Ferrata]

What does it give your chapter, being trained by the last surviving veterans of another chapter?

The Wolves are meant to start the Chapter on the way of savagery. I felt the Chapter needed some reason to start becoming so savage. I had it down to using the White Scars seed, which I went against because I wanted them to be Ultra's (showing that the Ultra gene-seed is the best), or being trained by a chapter. The reason I used a chapter which has been wiped out is for one main reason. When the IA comes up, the veterans of the Wolves will be very depressive and dormant, not careing much for life as they are all-but-dammit dead marines. This rubs off onto the Wings and thus also begins their death obsessiveness.

 

If they've been forgotten, what were the Wings of Death doing there?

 

The idea was that in the Great crusade it had been conquered, then during the hell of the heresey little Imperium support was offered to the area, it was allowed to bloom without the Imperium taking money/men. As the Imperium started to grow again, this area was engulfed by the Imperium again and it was required to be protected again, hence the Wings being born.

 

Perhaps some other race more likely to capture and hold a fortress?

Well, their fall is very recent, so Necrons do fit the bill. I wanted them to be shot to death, and the only other races which could do this would be Traitor Guard or Tau. Tau are no where near this area and Guard, well we couldn't have marines losing to Guard could we?

 

To be honest, I'm not entirely convinced with your chapter storming off from the Inquisitor in a huff, and then coming back as Evil Chaos Marines from Hell

 

This idea was taken slightly from the Faramir story in Lord of the Rings. The idea being the Wings where hitting a major low and on the brink of total destruction. Along comes this Inquisitor that acts like the Emperor reborn, the Wings in their depression are dragged along with this (does this make them traitor already?). They see this Inquisitor as the Emperor, their father. So when the Inquisitor wishes them to die, to them its like the Emperor disowning them. They are willing to die for him (hence the Sombre assault) but are saved by the angels. This shows them a new hope, which they run off with their new mother :P

 

Next, these angels. You seem to leave it unmentioned, as they go on with their business. I'd say that these angels would be a pretty big deal, investigated by the Wings' Librarians, the Inquisition - the whole lot. Seriously

 

Yes, this will be written into the IA. At first, they are researched a lot, but it starts to happen so often that they start to believe that they are just blessed. Yes, the Wings do go slightly crazy :)

 

Thanks for the comments

 

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[Commissar Molotov]

The Wolves are meant to start the Chapter on the way of savagery. I felt the Chapter needed some reason to start becoming so savage. I had it down to using the White Scars seed, which I went against because I wanted them to be Ultra's (showing that the Ultra gene-seed is the best), or being trained by a chapter. The reason I used a chapter which has been wiped out is for one main reason. When the IA comes up, the veterans of the Wolves will be very depressive and dormant, not careing much for life as they are all-but-dammit dead marines. This rubs off onto the Wings and thus also begins their death obsessiveness.

I'm not so sure about this - the Wolves would have been chosen specifically to train the WoD, and I doubt that depressed, dormant marines would be chosen for the task. Also, I would contest whether they really would be dormant and depressed? I mean, their chapter isn't destroyed - it could be restored to full chapter size. The Crimson Fists were reduced to 128 men at the end of their first crusade (That's over 870 casualties) and they rebuilt. The idea of the death obsession - perhaps you could have them trained by the Mortifactors? The Mortifactors are obsessed with death, and are also of Ultramarines gene-seed.

 

The idea was that in the Great crusade it had been conquered, then during the hell of the heresey little Imperium support was offered to the area, it was allowed to bloom without the Imperium taking money/men. As the Imperium started to grow again, this area was engulfed by the Imperium again and it was required to be protected again, hence the Wings being born.

 

I'm not entirely sure that's conveyed well. Admittedly, I'm reading (very) condensed notes. Just making you aware.

 

Well, their fall is very recent, so Necrons do fit the bill. I wanted them to be shot to death, and the only other races which could do this would be Traitor Guard or Tau. Tau are no where near this area and Guard, well we couldn't have marines losing to Guard could we?

Why not? The mighty Space Marines, humbled by mere humans? It's enough to drive any proud Space Marine to tears. The shame might... almost... make them snap? :)

 

This idea was taken slightly from the Faramir story in Lord of the Rings. The idea being the Wings where hitting a major low and on the brink of total destruction. Along comes this Inquisitor that acts like the Emperor reborn, the Wings in their depression are dragged along with this (does this make them traitor already?). They see this Inquisitor as the Emperor, their father. So when the Inquisitor wishes them to die, to them its like the Emperor disowning them. They are willing to die for him (hence the Sombre assault) but are saved by the angels. This shows them a new hope, which they run off with their new mother

 

Well, it does depend on the methods and motives of this Inquisitor. Technically I suppose the chapter is committing a heresy by saying the Inquisitor is the Emperor. If they were to compare the Inquisitor to the Emperor, that's not so bad.

 

But consider this. A Space Marine chapter is a hugely important military and political entity in the 41st Millenium. This Inquisitor's got the luxury of having such a chapter at his beck and call, no questions asked. Why on Earth would he throw them away on a suicidal assault? It beggars belief, especially when he could throw countless Imperial Guardsmen at a problem to make it go away.

 

Perhaps something more dramatic should happen? I don't know what to suggest, I just feel it's a bit... hollow.

Edited April 11, 2006 by Commissar Molotov

[Ferrata]

I think I will change the trainers to the Mortifactors, thanks for that.

 

I'm not entirely sure that's conveyed well. Admittedly, I'm reading (very) condensed notes. Just making you aware.

I might just change it to after the Heresey, it was left weakly defended. As there where more important task for Space Marines, it took 6 foundings before a Chapter got sent to this area. The forces will slowly build up over time in this area.

 

Why not? The mighty Space Marines, humbled by mere humans? It's enough to drive any proud Space Marine to tears. The shame might... almost... make them snap?

 

Good point, its something to think about.

 

With the Inquisitor, I was also considering an Emperors Champion of another chapter. Ths could make more sense for the Wings and other Chapters following him. Also, when his chapter is defeated, he says he would have prefered the Wings to have been slain over his brothers. This is when the Wings assault the fort.

 

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[Commissar Molotov]

I think if they're going to follow anyone, it should be an Inquisitor. The Emperor's Champion raises a whole host of questions that you might find difficult to answer. Being in the thrall of the Inquisitor isn't so bad, I just think the circumstances of their fall might need to be explored better.

 

Perhaps the Inquisitor is a radical, come to investigate the 'angels' summoned by the Wings of Death? When the Inquisitor is declared a heretic, the Wings of Death have a choice between casting out this man they hold in high regard, or defending him - which makes them heretics automatically too?

 

Just random ideas.

[Tubal]

I'm not so sure about this - the Wolves would have been chosen specifically to train the WoD, and I doubt that depressed, dormant marines would be chosen for the task. Also, I would contest whether they really would be dormant and depressed? I mean, their chapter isn't destroyed - it could be restored to full chapter size. The Crimson Fists were reduced to 128 men at the end of their first crusade (That's over 870 casualties) and they rebuilt. The idea of the death obsession - perhaps you could have them trained by the Mortifactors? The Mortifactors are obsessed with death, and are also of Ultramarines gene-seed.

I doubt the Mortifactors would be allowed to train anyone :unsure:

The Wolves of Veles veterans might only number two or three squads. If they were subjected to high levels of radiation (last battle inside a damaged spaceship?) most of the survivors geneseed might have been corrupted and the chapter was laid to rest, so to speak.

[Ferrata]

I've been thinking about it, and I will drop the decimation of the Wolves of Veles. They will just be some unknown chapter that where ordered to train the Wings. The Wolves will be combat fans so this passes over to the Wings. The death obsession will come from their home-world.

 

Cheers for the advice.

 

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