IA: Dark Hands

[Nine_Breaker]

This is the first draft of the Dark Hands, made to take on C+C from the members of the B&C (OL attention is especially welcome). Feel free to make any comments you'd like, I'd love to hear what you lot have to say.

 

Special thanks to the DI crew. They helped get this IA started and came up with some pretty cool ideas for the chapter.

 

Anyhow, without further ado, I present IA: Dark Hands! (beware, this thing is a little over 3.9k words)

 

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Index Astartes: Dark Hands

 

[Aurelius Rex]

Printed it off for a proper read. ;)

[Nine_Breaker]

I fixed a couple glaring typos in the IA after reading back through it.

 

Fixed Stuff:

+"Before the end of the first week, over 300 civilians had been killed"... the 300 has been changed to 300,000.

[Brother-Librarian Akritedes]

Questions:

Do they have any traits?

What's the paint scheme?

Got any test models?

[Brother Gothard]

Uhm .. wow. This was a great read. There were some basic problems, like having taken a word out of a sentence but forgetting to replace it, etc. But who cares about that.

 

This chapter really intrigues me. Other than praise, I do have a few questions:

 

[Brother-Librarian Akritedes]

Well, according to Gee-Dub the official scheme looks thus:

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v205/Akritedes/DarkHandsthumb.jpg

 

For myself, I'm thinking of doing a test model in a darker shade, possibly with blackened hands or something.

[Nine_Breaker]

As for the color scheme, I would be using the GW scheme that Akritedes posted.

 

Regarding traits, I was thing "No Mercy, No Respite" and "Death before Dishonor" would do the fluff justice. I'd have a few more house rules (limits on terminators and LRs for example), but everything will remain tourny-legal.

 

This says to me that your chapter has turned traitor. After reading the article, I know what it's referring to, but it still says traitor to me. I think the lines "for it has failed us," and "for they have betrayed us" is maybe a bit too much. The connotation from those lines is that the IMPERIUM has betrayed them, and that the Emperor (Light) has failed them, and I don't think that's necessarily true. Indeed, while I was reading the article I kept waiting for the part where they turn traitor. I think you definitely want to keep that quotation dark and sinister, but change is subtly so that it doesn't imply the Imperium betrayed them.

 

I see where you're coming from here. I wanted to start off with a nice and sinister quote that would grab interest from the beginning. Perhaps it's a good thing that it kept you reading on, waiting for the Dark Hands to snap and turn traitor, eh? :D

 

In all seriousness though, I'll see if I can come up with some other stuff that may not shout "I'm turning traitor!"

[Brother-Librarian Akritedes]

Well, good news and bad news.

 

Good news is that I've got the test model finished, bar highlights. Bad news is that I don't own a digi-cam and my sister's is non-functional. I'm gonna try to figure something out, but it may take a bit.

 

On another note, do the Dark Hands use Codex Company identification? I've painted mine as a member of the Vanguard and given him white pad rims as a result. Thoughts?

[ToyShip]

That was Awesome! i am currently doing a DIY (The Phoenix Guard) and after reading about the battles i think ill have to make mine a lot longer ;)

good job -_-

toyship

[Nine_Breaker]

@ToyShip: Thanks. I appreciate the praise.

 

@Ak: Probably not standard Codex identification marks. I'm thinking that the Vanguard may have white or golden shoulder rims, helmets, and squad marks. All the other marines would be the regular DH color scheme and have black squad markings. I don't see them painting the rims of their shoulder pads different colors for the company though. Instead I'd just put the company number on their (right) leg.

[space wolf]

good read, I a few problems, that happen to be interrelated

 

1st, if the whole planet had been corrupted, then i dont see it tactically feasible for a chapter of 1000 marines to land and try to take territory. you have stated that they bombed the place, but i think, if it is known that the entire planet is corrupted then an exterminatus is in order.

 

2nd, maybe i just have a really harsh view of space marines, but i dont think they would be crying by the loss of the planet. dissapointed, maybe. I just have this view that the marines would be like, "figures, time to burn those heretics!!"

[Aurelius Rex]

Well after reading this IA I have to say I am very impressed. Other than a couple of minor points it seemed solid fluff-wise, and an interesting story. :wub:

 

It has a heavy parallel with the story of the Dark Angels, with them returning to find that their homeworld had been corrupted from underneath them, and the resulting vengeance leaving the world a ruin. I am not certain if this is too close for comfort, to be honest, although there are plenty of things that make it different and original from the Unforgiven. The idea that pride in their own piety (holier than thou) was their downfall was a particularly nice touch, and they go overboard in campaigns because if they had stopped the Dragon in the first place he would not have been able to seek revenge later... A good tie-in.

 

Was the entire chapter off crusading when the homeworld fell? In particular was the Fortress-monastery left untenented and unguarded, and did the scout sergeants responsible for recruiting new marines from the homeworld also leave, or were they kept in the dark / killed by cultists before they could get out word? Sounds like a potential story there somewhere. :)

 

I was not sure about the self-cleaning nature of the world's industrial base, especially as you mentioned

places like the grossly polluted worlds of Necromunda. A word on why they were able to stay so green when most other worlds in the Imperium have industrial processes that couldn't care less about creating pollution, and don't have the tech to do anthing about it even if they did care, would be helpful.

 

The warhawks were an interesting addition. Are they simply transporter thunderhawks (the ones that transport food, fuel, Land Raiders and Rhinos) adapted to carry a giant bomb? The Bombardment cannon onboard the orbiting Strike Cruisers and Battlebarges are normally tasked to this kind of job, but might lack a little of the accuracy. Is this the reason that the Dark Hands have used variant methods?

 

Homeworld

Though most records on the Dark Hands

[Commissar Molotov]

A great IA, as expected from Damage Incorporated. :ph34r:

 

:wub:

[Brother-Librarian Akritedes]

On the Warhawks, I believe that they were initially jury-rigged Thunderhawks, but by now I'd think they purpose build them. It's much like a 40k-ifed B-17 "Flying Fortress" only built off of a T-hawk chassis.

 

Weapons: 5x AA long-barrelled Autocannons, 3x AA long-barrelled twin-linked Heavy Bolters, 26x Smart Bombs

 

The ten crew positions and their weapons are:

 

Pilot - cockpit; no gun (left)

Co-Pilot - cockpit; no gun (right)

Bombardier - left cheek autocannon (Servitor)

Navigator - right cheek autocannon (Servitor)

Engineer/Top Turret Gunner - TL HB (Techmarine)

Radio Operator - autocannon, left side (Servitor)

Ball Turret Gunner - TL HB (Servitor)

Left Waist Gunner - autocannon (Servitor)

Right Waist Gunner - autocannon (Servitor)

Tail Gunner - TL HB (Servitor)

That's a piece of a suggested VDR version of it, which although perhaps not perfect, should give a general idea of it nonetheless. At this point it becomes very much a purpose built heavy bomber.

[Nine_Breaker]

Was the entire chapter off crusading when the homeworld fell? In particular was the Fortress-monastery left untenented and unguarded, and did the scout sergeants responsible for recruiting new marines from the homeworld also leave, or were they kept in the dark / killed by cultists before they could get out word? Sounds like a potential story there somewhere.

Good thinking, I'll have to add that into the 2nd draft.

 

I was not sure about the self-cleaning nature of the world's industrial base, especially as you mentioned

places like the grossly polluted worlds of Necromunda. A word on why they were able to stay so green when most other worlds in the Imperium have industrial processes that couldn't care less about creating pollution, and don't have the tech to do anthing about it even if they did care, would be helpful.

 

I thought Tarsis Ultra could do something like this when I wrote it, and so thought it was rare but not impossible. After reading back over the book though, the world simply gave up some natural resources in order to keep the place green. So I'll change that bit there and probably make it so the world was only a fledgling hive world (a couple hives, and then some cities perhaps).

The warhawks were an interesting addition. Are they simply transporter thunderhawks (the ones that transport food, fuel, Land Raiders and Rhinos) adapted to carry a giant bomb?

 

Actually, I was imagining a troop-transport T-Hawk with the back made so the bottom opens up and bombs start falling out... Kinda like a B-17. :)

 

Thanks for finding those typos too. I appreciate it.

[Brother-Librarian Akritedes]

Actually, I was imagining a troop-transport T-Hawk with the back made so the bottom falls out and bombs start falling out... Kinda like a B-17.

*cough*

 

Ehr...Nine, you DO realize that having the bomb bay as a set of doors on the tail of an aircraft makes no sense at all? What're they gonna do, fly straight up and THEN drop the bombs? :)

 

In all honesty, a purpose built-bomb bay is pretty easy to set up. Hydraulic/electronic/mechanical doors under the munitions storage, and clamps to hold the munitions in place until drop time. That would be one of the easiest things to jury rig that I can think of.

[Nine_Breaker]

Actually, I was imagining a troop-transport T-Hawk with the back made so the bottom opens up and bombs start falling out... Kinda like a B-17.

 

Ehr...Nine, you DO realize that having the bomb bay as a set of doors on the tail of an aircraft makes no sense at all? What're they gonna do, fly straight up and THEN drop the bombs?

 

I do realize that the bombs flying out the back door makes no sense, which is why I said they'd fall out the bottom. :)

[Aramithius]

Oh the irony... I've just spent the morning creating another version of the Dark Hands, very different to this. As has been said, it's very reminiscent of the DA, but in a good way. The thing about the Thunderhawk variants pounding the planet... I know that Horus virus-bombed Istvaan IV to dust, but I'm sure that due to the separation of powers in the Second Founding that only the Navy would have nearly enough firepower to do that sort of thing in "present-day" 40K.

 

And just if you're interested, the fluff for my Dark Hands (doubt I'll ever collect them) are here.

[Commissar Molotov]

Aramithius, in this case you're wrong. Quote from the BFG Books:

 

'Battle barges are equipped with virus bombs and cyclonic warheads as standard'

 

This means that in the 'Exterminatus' scenario, a Battle Barge can be used as an 'exterminator'.

[Aurelius Rex]

And even on a smaller scale the bombardment cannons that Strike Cruisers and Battlebarges pack could level entire cities...

[Nine_Breaker]

Got any test models?

 

I was reading through the thread when I stumbled upon this question.

 

Answer: I'm not much into gaming or painting, so I'll probably rely more on artwork and models contributed by volunteers and the like. But you never know, I may decide to pick up the paint brush one day. <_<

[Nine_Breaker]

waste of space

[Commissar Molotov]

I'll contact you on MSN to give you my thoughts fully, Nine.

[Brother Renn]

Wow. That was very well thought out. Good job. It was a very enjoyable read, and I got the sense of it being an actual IA like you would read from GW. Just reading it made me want to scrap my thirty nine other project ideas and work on a DIY Chapter, which is an incredibly bad thing as I have trouble sticking with armies for long.

 

As was mentioned by Aurelius Rex, I liked how their "holier than thou" attitude ultimately became their downfall. It presented itself as a nice irony.

 

There were some minor grammatical and spelling errors, but they did not seriously detract from the writing itself or the understnding of what you were saying.

 

One suggestion: You may want to consider replacing the first draft at the top of the topic with the one you included above my post. I know that I did not go through and reread it, as I was guessing that most of the information remained the same with those corrections that were suggested added. Just a thought.

 

Good job.

[Nine_Breaker]

Just a small bump (with a free complementary ninja :D ) to let everyone know that I've done a bit of work to patch up some of the holes in the IA that were mentioned by you guys and edited the article at the beginning of the thread.

 

If there's anything else you guys want to comment on, please, be my guest. If it's a particularly well thought out comment or peice of criticism, i'll give you another free ninja! ;)

 

 

Edit- See that Molotov? By working on the Castigators, you have forced me off my arse and working on all these bloody fluff projects. May the gods punish you with a daemonic ingrown-toenail for ending my lazy streak!