The Extractors

[Warprat]

The Extractors:

 

-Beholden to the Inquisition because of thier unknown origin.

-Can be easily mind wiped and recycled.

-Used instead of more valuable Grey Knights.

-They succeed because of Genetic Precognition

-Battle losses are heavy.

 

Gene-seed: Unknown, close to Ultra Marine

 

Home World: None, HQ is the Battle Barge Vanguard

(The repaired derelict they arrived in.)

 

 

 

Traits/Drawbacks:

 

Blessed Be The Warriors

(Negative mental instability)

Honor Your Wargear

(Arts increase battle focus)

 

Aspire To Glory

(The chapter battles often, too much recycling)

Death Before Dishonor

(Delay to act on precognition)

 

 

Allies:

The Blood Drinkers

Grey Knights

Inquisitor White

 

Enemies:

The Inquisition

Chaos

 

 

 

 

Three hundred marines were found in stasis on a heavily damaged Battle Barge of Imperial contruction, named "Vanguard." Strangely, there is no records in the Imperial archives of a ship of this name, although it appears to have all the latest technology improvements available to any imperial organization.

 

The Vanguard was detected just after turbulent warp storm activity in the vicinity of the trade world Sparrows Hope, located on a major trade nexus in the Segmentum Obscurus sector. The huge ship appeared to be disabled, and automated distress beacons activated. The Ordo Malleus sent newly ordained female Inquisitor La Jean White to investigate. Inquistior White called on help from the nearest space marine chapter, the Blood Drinkers, a Blood Angels successor chapter. The Blood Drinkers responded with two full Battle Companies aboard their two fastest strike cruisers.

 

The approach was anticlimactic. After Inquisitor White breached the powerful intact psychic wards still protecting the big ship, the ship was secured with no resistance. Not a living sole was found to be alive, except for the marines in stasis. No crew, no bodies, just automated equipment running in emergency mode.

 

Another unsolved mystery revolved around the ships age. The bulkheads, supports, engines and structure apeared to be centuries old, while more replaceable fixtures appeared to be no more than 10-20 years old. Weapons systems were of the latest design, but stangely appeared very old. Some systems look like they had parts removed, as there were clean bare mounting plates, surrounded by normal metal with untold years of polish and cleaning. What systems were removed is unknown.

 

The ships manifest included three companies of Marines in suspended animation, along with support equipment. The support equipment included the newly manufactured unoccupied Dreadnoughts, Speeders, Bikes and so forth. A stash of 100 precious suits of Tactical Dreadnought armor was also found, apparently having been in stasis since the Emperor walked among us, as the suits looked brand new. All the vehicles and equipment had mounting plates for unknown targeting devices. The devices were not to be found on ship. Perhaps the most strange of all, over 1000 master-crafted Combi-plasma guns were inventoried when the armory was examined.

 

But despite all the seemingly new equipment, the power suits of the marines looked to be very worn and apparently many, many centuries old, but very well maintained. This was also true of the bolters, jump packs and heavy weapons. All other eguipment apeared to be ancient as well, though obviously well cared for. A bizare mix of the ancient and the very new.

 

Inquisitor White , bracketed by the Blood Drinkers finest, allowed a stasis chamber to revive one of the newly found Captains for questioning. The marine, at first unaware of his release, slowly came to consciousness. Although he knew he was a marine, and could recite the Codex Astartes from front to back, he had no memories besides being psycho conditioned with marine information, then being guided to a stasis chamber blindfolded. He knew he was the Captain of the 2nd Company, and was named Linux Portent, and that was about everything, except for one thing. Captain Portent had been given a data slate to give to someone named Inquisitor La Jean White upon being revived.

 

Inquisitor White called in a Grey Knight force to investigate. The results of that investigation is classified. Almost immediately Inquistor Whites influence within the Ordo Malleus also grew for unknown reasons. What is known is that directly after, the other marines in stasis were released. The new chapter, (for unknown reasons at the time), was called The Extractors Marine Chapter, and its men allowed to train on the plant Sparrows Hope with their Blood Drinker brothers in arms.

 

The newly formed chapter, in a gesture of good will, divided much of its armory among the known Space Marine chapters, and the Inquisition. Some suits of Terminator armor were given to the Ultra Marines, it

[the_raptor]

I like it. Though I feel their origins are a little too mysterious.

[Rogue Trader]

Some interesting ideas, I particularly like the overactive Omophagea :) but a couple of things could maybe be changed...

 

I'm guessing the origin you're hinting at is that the Vanguard and the marines aboard her came back from the future? That's what I'm reading into the 'missing equipment' type comments. What I'd maybe suggest here is to tone it down a little bit? I think the repitition over-emphasises the point, perhapos it might be better to cut down on the repeated references to missing equipment/arms, make the insinuation that bit more subtle B)

 

Two major points that could also be looked at. First one:

 

The Extractors:

 

-Beholden to the Inquisition because of thier unknown origin.

-Can be easily mind wiped and recycled.

-Used instead of more valuable Grey Knights.

-They succeed because of Genetic Precognition

-Battle losses are heavy.

Why do they have heavy battle losses if they have this precog ability? It doesn't really make any sense to me - a precog would be able to use their 'hunches' to avoid the worst losses and turn the battle in their favour...

 

Second point:

 

You make several references to the Grey Knights carrying out actions that aren't really in their field:

 

Inquisitor White called in a Grey Knight force to investigate.

 

A Grey Knight force remained to monitor the transition, and watch for any signs of corruption.

 

Through voluntary experiments, the Grey Knights discovered the Extractor marines could be mind wiped and reprogrammed at an accelerated rate when compared to other marines.

 

The Grey Knights would directly monitor the chapter, and recommend

[Sir Crispy]

I like it. Since they should be a little lothe to mindwipe the Imperium's Finest, it makes sense to have a group of guys who were designed to handle it.

 

I agree with the_raptor on the mystery part, though. A little too disjointed for my tastes. In my opinion, mysteries should lead the reader to start formulating a couple of different theories on the cause of the mystery.

 

Think about your typical television detective drama -- by the time the show is half over, you'll have a couple of suspects in mind. It might turn out that you were completely wrong, but a well-presented mystery will have you formulating possibilities.

 

It might just be me, but I was waiting for the other shoe to fall on this mystery. It just seems disjointed to me, like there is something missing that will be presented to me so that I can start piecing together the puzzle.

 

I think you should either flesh out the mystery a bit, like the_rapter said, to give us a couple of possible directions for our minds to carry us. Or, like Rogue Trader said, downplay it a bit.

 

It seems like either way would work. Heck, the whole mindwipe thing has a lot going for it without needing a "big mystery" style plot hook. Other people's IA's (mine included) need something like that to keep it interesting, but yours is cool even without it. (not that I'm saying you *should* drop the mystery, just that you've got a cool story regardless of whether or not you keep it as central to the story as you have.)

[Warprat]

Some interesting ideas, I particularly like the overactive Omophagea :tu: but a couple of things could maybe be changed...

 

I'm guessing the origin you're hinting at is that the Vanguard and the marines aboard her came back from the future? That's what I'm reading into the 'missing equipment' type comments. What I'd maybe suggest here is to tone it down a little bit? I think the repitition over-emphasises the point, perhapos it might be better to cut down on the repeated references to missing equipment/arms, make the insinuation that bit more subtle ^_^

 

Two major points that could also be looked at. First one:

 

The Extractors:

 

-Beholden to the Inquisition because of thier unknown origin.

-Can be easily mind wiped and recycled.

-Used instead of more valuable Grey Knights.

-They succeed because of Genetic Precognition

-Battle losses are heavy.

Why do they have heavy battle losses if they have this precog ability? It doesn't really make any sense to me - a precog would be able to use their 'hunches' to avoid the worst losses and turn the battle in their favour...

 

Looks like I need to expand on this. The precoq ability is not so active that it could be relied on in most battle situations for individuals. It is more for non-battle situations, such as finding recruits, or for stratigic actions. An example, launching torpedoes at an empty jump joint, only to have an enemy fleet materialize there as the torpedoes strike home. Pretty much it takes multiple members to have the same hunch for it to be acted on.

 

I have thought about including a couple of small stories about it. But, I just wanted some good input from others before I proceeded further. I have provided the bones, but looks like I need more flesh...

 

 

 

 

Second point:

 

You make several references to the Grey Knights carrying out actions that aren't really in their field:

 

Inquisitor White called in a Grey Knight force to investigate.

 

A Grey Knight force remained to monitor the transition, and watch for any signs of corruption.

 

Through voluntary experiments, the Grey Knights discovered the Extractor marines could be mind wiped and reprogrammed at an accelerated rate when compared to other marines.

 

The Grey Knights would directly monitor the chapter, and recommend

[Warprat]

I like it. Since they should be a little lothe to mindwipe the Imperium's Finest, it makes sense to have a group of guys who were designed to handle it.

 

I agree with the_raptor on the mystery part, though. A little too disjointed for my tastes. In my opinion, mysteries should lead the reader to start formulating a couple of different theories on the cause of the mystery.

 

Think about your typical television detective drama -- by the time the show is half over, you'll have a couple of suspects in mind. It might turn out that you were completely wrong, but a well-presented mystery will have you formulating possibilities.

 

It might just be me, but I was waiting for the other shoe to fall on this mystery. It just seems disjointed to me, like there is something missing that will be presented to me so that I can start piecing together the puzzle.

 

I think you should either flesh out the mystery a bit, like the_rapter said, to give us a couple of possible directions for our minds to carry us. Or, like Rogue Trader said, downplay it a bit.

 

It seems like either way would work. Heck, the whole mindwipe thing has a lot going for it without needing a "big mystery" style plot hook. Other people's IA's (mine included) need something like that to keep it interesting, but yours is cool even without it. (not that I'm saying you *should* drop the mystery, just that you've got a cool story regardless of whether or not you keep it as central to the story as you have.)

 

 

There are some big mysteries to this..

 

 

Motive:

 

-Who or what sent these guys back in time?

-Does the chapter have some sort of mission?

-What role does Inquisitor White play?

 

 

Time:

 

-Why has no future tech been sent back. Only stripped down new stuff, and older refurbished items. Why the Vanguard?

-Has a time paradox been created? These guys were sent back in the present to create thier own future?

-What is that future? Is it changeable, or set in stone?

 

 

The method:

 

-Are the marines programmed?

-How did the genetic information get into the marines? How about new marines?

-How does this work?

-Why work so closely with the Inquisition?

 

 

 

Perhaps I need to empasize these guestions with a "report" from an investigating Inquizitor? Would that work do you think?

 

What would make it the most interesting? How should I present that information?

 

 

 

Thanks!

 

Warprat ;)

[Sir Crispy]

Inquisitorial reports are always nice and fluffy.

 

I think the biggest problem that I had was that the whole Vanguard mystery first came across as very important, but then was almost completely dropped from the story and in the end became sort of a red herring. It was like the marines showed up, didn't know why they were there or what they were floating in, and then got on with their lives. Then, there are other mysteries, but are they part of the same mystery or something unrelated? I was waiting for the other shoe to drop and somehow tie back into the the mystery of the Vanguard. When it didn't, I came to the conclusion that this aspect of the story must have just been added as a way to explain why they didn't know their past.

 

I can see now that you did intend this mystery to be closely tied to your plot, so an Inquisitorial report that brings up all these different aspects and somehow ties them together would be great. A report that creates more questions than it answers would be ideal. Like you said, you've got to tread a fine line here.

 

Keep it up! You've got a good story here.

[Rogue Trader]

Hmm, looks like I need to change this a bit. Inquisitor White has the data slate which acts as a "get out of jail free" card. It is also the plot device that confirms these guys are from some sort of future, rather than the past. I don't think she would make a good investigator, given the powerfull bias of the information she has recieved.

 

What would you suggest?

I would assume the Ordo Malleus has some sort of procedure for conducting investigations like this - maybe a senior, well respected, Inquisitor, or a pair/team of inquisitors... They would certainly have the 'detective' experience, and they would doubtless have interrogators and various other members of their retinues that could carry out the various roles required as well - maybe a Magos Biologis or member of the AM could be involved in the 'experiements'

[Warprat]

Hmm, looks like I need to change this a bit. Inquisitor White has the data slate which acts as a "get out of jail free" card. It is also the plot device that confirms these guys are from some sort of future, rather than the past. I don't think she would make a good investigator, given the powerfull bias of the information she has recieved.

 

What would you suggest?

I would assume the Ordo Malleus has some sort of procedure for conducting investigations like this - maybe a senior, well respected, Inquisitor, or a pair/team of inquisitors... They would certainly have the 'detective' experience, and they would doubtless have interrogators and various other members of their retinues that could carry out the various roles required as well - maybe a Magos Biologis or member of the AM could be involved in the 'experiements'

 

 

Oh, yes "Experiments", we do love our experiments... Waaahaaahaaa!!

 

 

I've never heard of a Magos Biologis... nice. What is the AM?

 

Anyway, I think the story needs a "Heavy", and that could come from a team of the Ordo Malleus. A senior Inquisitor, maybe the group who were behind the demise of the Celestial Lions, (including perhaps Inquisitor Apollyon.) A group that while prevented from outright destroying the chapter, can make the chapter "prove itself". Like some sort of permanent penance crusade. They could have a special "health squad" to monitor the "well being" of the boys... of course, there will be a lot of unneeded recycling. Woo, hoo, and after the "experiments" the marines can be mind wiped so they remember nothing of the torture and scars. Brilliant!!

 

Brother Lucus, it's time for your monthly checkup. Go with the nice men please...

 

 

 

 

The chapters special gift could be all that seperates them from the sharing the same twisted fate as the Lions.

 

 

Warprat ;)

[Commissar Molotov]

In this case, the abbreviation 'AM' refers to the Adeptus Mechanicus.

[Warprat]

In this case, the abbreviation 'AM' refers to the Adeptus Mechanicus.

 

 

They work with mechanical things? What would thier role be? What do they do?

 

 

Warprat ;)

[Commissar Molotov]

Uh... are you new to 40k, Warprat? I don't mean that in a nasty way, I'm just surprised you know so little regarding the Adeptus Mechanicus. The Adeptus Mechanicus control Mars, and all forge-worlds in the Imperium. They have a stranglehold on all technology and nearly all of the knowledge throughout the Imperium, from the creation of weaponry to genetic engineering and archaeology.

 

The Adeptus Mechanicus believes that knowledge is the supreme manifestation of divinity and that the Emperor is the supreme object of worship because he comprehended so much. Machines which preserve knowledge from ancient times are holy, and a man is worth only the sum of his knowledge.

 

Any ancient technology they can find is desperately hunted out and jealously hoarded.

[Rogue Trader]

More importantly - in this instance, at least, is the fact that the Adeptus Mechanicus are basically responsible for the nuts and bolts of creating each new chapter of Marines - it is they who hold the tithes of gene-seed that each Chapter submits, they who create sufficent zygotes for implantation into the new marines and they who supply a good proportion of the equipment for each new chapter.

 

In the case of your chapter, I would think the AM would have more than a passing interest, given the anomalies present in the gene-seed and the equipment they appeared with.

[Warprat]

Well, thats interesting to know. I really havn't given too much thought to who develops and holds on to genetic, biological tech. So this is very interesting...

 

And never really paid to much attention to the Adeptus Mechanicus beyond knowing they have thier own worlds, produce the war material and train Tech Marines. And of course some of the Mars stuff.

 

I have played 2nd Epic for about 20 years, and know the general fluff and feel of the races/armies. But this is really the first time I have tried to really understand the fine details of creating something.

 

Heck, in the early years, my gaming group believed marines never removed thier armor, and that the higher ranks were rewarded by finally being able to remove thier helmets. We played the game often, but never delved too deeply into the details.

 

That's one reason I really like this site, the level of knowlege and interest is far greater than pretty much anywhere. I have learned a lot here, and will continue... looks like I need to read more about the Inquisition and the Adeptus Mechanicus.

 

 

Thankyou greatly for your help.

 

Warprat;)

[neosonichdghg]

Heck, in the early years, my gaming group believed marines never removed thier armor, and that the higher ranks were rewarded by finally being able to remove thier helmets. We played the game often, but never delved too deeply into the details.

Warprat;)

 

Well, that's what you get for applying logic to GW fluff. I don't think they actually have a reason for the whole "helmetless" thing other than "It looks cool".

[Warprat]

Well, that's what you get for applying logic to GW fluff. I don't think they actually have a reason for the whole "helmetless" thing other than "It looks cool".

 

 

I have never read a GW explanation on this. But tank commanders have their heads out the hatch for better visability all most all the time, unless the tank is being seriously fired upon. You can't shoot or evade the thing you can't see. I think it might be based on the same idea. Increased visability for the cost of a helmet. Kind of like scouts.

 

 

That, and it looks cool...

 

Warprat ;)

[Sir Crispy]

It makes the characters more personable when you can see their face.

 

Its the same reason the designers of the movie Matrix made those walking tank thingies have an open cockpit even though it was militarily ridiculous. I read an article where the designers had actually created an armored cockpit but were required to redesign it so that the cameras could see the actors.

[the_raptor]

It makes the characters more personable when you can see their face.

 

Its the same reason the designers of the movie Matrix made those walking tank thingies have an open cockpit even though it was militarily ridiculous. I read an article where the designers had actually created an armored cockpit but were required to redesign it so that the cameras could see the actors.

 

Bah they should have just gone with crazy unique colour schemes or painted names. Trying to make everything look "cool" is what ruined those movies.

[Warprat]

Do you think the "Predictors" is a better name for this chapter?

 

 

Any ideas on a better name?

 

 

 

 

 

Warprat ;)

[Rogue Trader]

To be honest, I'm not really a fan of 'Extractors' or 'Predictors' :devil: Neither really spunds like a Marine Chapter to me.

 

Perhaps you could get some inspiration from myths and legends - for example, in Greek Legend Cassandra was able to see into the future, as was the Titan Prometheus. I'm always loathe to suggest anyone use a name with 'Sons of...' or 'Angels of...' in the name, as they're pretty over used, but maybe you could have something like 'The Promeathean Knights', although that would suggest a link with the Salamanders (their Fortress Monastery is on Prometheus).

Merlin, of the Arthurian legend, was supposed to be able to see into the future as well, although he was sometimes said to be living backwards, so in fact he was 'remembering' the future.

 

Alternatively, you can look for inspiration in words or phrases - an oracle predicts the future, as does a prophet, and so do tarot cards or a crystal ball (if you're feeling corny!)

 

Don't know if they're any help, but they might get the cogs turning :blush:

[Commissar Molotov]

The Salamanders recruit from Nocturne, but they worship the Promethean Cult (right? :blush: )

 

Perhaps something to do with being able to foretell the future - Seers ([colour] Seers, etc)?

[Warprat]

Other names I have bounced around are the:

 

Cog Marines (But then when you say Cog Marines out loud, it has bad connotation.)

 

Cognators

 

Collectors

 

Soothsayers

 

 

 

New ideas:

 

Gognomancers

 

Augmentors

 

Augnomancers

 

Emperor's Puppets

 

 

 

 

I'm going crazy...

 

Warprat ;)

[Warprat]

OK, I'm going with *drum roll please*

 

The Revenger Chapter.

 

 

 

The Battle Barge will be renamed the "Revenge". The Chapter will be named after the ship. The Marines will be known as Revengers.

 

Warprat ;)