Astral Templars

[Astartes Consul]

Well I've finaly posted some DiY again, heres a breif basis for my newest foray into teh realm of fluff, the Astral Templars:

 

Name: Astral Templars

 

Gene Seed: Iron Hands

 

Founding: 21st...

 

Home world: Space Bourne, operate from a huge, moon sized fortress monestary, 'The Bastion'. Recruite from the industrial systems around Gryphone IV. Maintain a large fleet and numerous waystations(similar to Black Templar Chapter keeps, only spce bourne) throghout the easter fringe and southern Segmentum Pasificus.

 

Home Segement: Segmenst Ttemperstius(sp)/eastern fringe

 

Combat Doctrine: Both their doctrine and ideaology is Iron and mechanicaly orientated. They are a highly mechanised and moble force, almost all Astral Templar squads are either mounted in transports, deploy my frop pod or are machines thenselves. They specialise in blitzkreig tactics. Combining inflitrating scout squads cutting supply lines ETC with mass armoured charges. In defense they favour fixed defenses and make extensive use of trenches and razor wire. From here they will hold the enemy in place before delivering a massive armoured counter attack while the enemy are pinned down my massed fire form the trenches.

 

Organisation: Due to their space bourne nature. Each Brotherhood(company) I largely indipendant while away on campaign. Its Master has absoluse authority over his men and although most will take council from theri subordinates. They are only bound to answer to tehr chapter Grand Master and the Emperor himself, although in practice the Inquisition and other Imperial bodies may also take control of brotherhoods.

 

Each brother hood is aranged like a standard Space marine company, but while seperated from 'The Bastion' each Brotherhood will be acompanied by Terminators and scouts from the 1st and 10th company. Each Brotherhood is split into small Clans(squads) each with its own individual banner and history, suites of armour are also handed down, each suite staying within the Brother hood and Clan it was first issued to.

 

Each Brotherhood operated from either a Battle Bareg or a Strike cruiser depending on the size of deployment supported by a host of frigates and supply ships. A Brotehrhood on Crusade as a foe few can stand against.

 

Beleifs: The chapters cult, known as the Astarl Cult is preached my the Iron Clerics who, liek in teh Iiron Hnad, forfill the role of both techmarines and Chaplains. The cult is centered upon teh strength of Iron and the bond of brotherhood between warriors.

 

+++++++++++

 

How is it?

 

cheers

[Ferrata]

Well, it isn't a 21st Founding Chapter, so change the founding. Every Chapter from the 21st Founding went wrong, and yours seem perfectly fine. The Organisation and Feel is a little too Iron Hand for my liking, I think they need something to make them them.

 

Ferrata

[NINmaestro]

Hmmm...Any colorschemes and whatnot? Reminds me a hell of a lot of Colonel Georg Bruchmuller, most brilliant military mind IMO. He practically invented Blitzkrieg, ya know? My IG are a tribute to the man's genius. Anyways, a little more fluff would rock. Some things you may want to change; very Iron Hands like. I would do something else to change this around. Also, they aren't 21st founding unless there is a total malfunction of one of their implants so you better make this clear and I would quite frankly change it to another founding instead of the 21st or 13th.

 

It reminds me a lot of WWI warfare though when you talked about defense. Good start

[Zhivago]

I though some chapter was already positioned in Gryphonne IV ? They were orange and had Griffin as their emblem. If you struggle to spell places in Imperial space look here.

 

Also copy-pasting it to word for spell-check would not hurt...

 

although in practice the Inquisition and other Imperial bodies may also take control of brotherhoods.

What other Imperial bodies could command marines ?

 

Founding: 21st...

 

M36 Twenty First - Cursed Founding. Largest since the 2nd.

 

So what makes your chapter cursed ?

 

It is not bad..

[Commissar Molotov]

Eh, you guys are being a little harsh on Fuzzball here. Of the officially listed cursed founding chapters (The Sons of Antaeus, the Flame Falcons, the Legion of the Damned, Lamenters, Minotaurs and Black Dragons), genetic difficulties aren't present in at least two chapters. The Lamenters have a terribly pure gene-seed, it's just their bad-luck, which may be entirely coincidental. The Legion of the Damned were, by all accounts, decent marines until their loss to the warp.

 

A 21st Founding chapter doesn't have to have catastrophic genetic mutation - it could be some other sort of 'curse'. Perhaps this chapter is entirely different - their total lack of a curse in the light of the other chapters could perhaps raise interest and suspicion from the Inquisition and the Adeptus Mechanicus...

 

Though, Fuzz, those guys do have a point. What does the 21st Founding add to your chapter? If it does add to your chapter, that's cool. If it doesn't, it might be a good idea to change it.

[Race Bannon]

A 21st Founding chapter doesn't have to have catastrophic genetic mutation - it could be some other sort of 'curse'. Perhaps this chapter is entirely different - their total lack of a curse in the light of the other chapters could perhaps raise interest and suspicion from the Inquisition and the Adeptus Mechanicus...

 

"Interest and suspicion" opens Pandora's Box. BUT from a creative point of view this could really make for an interesting read.

 

As it stands I like what you have and agree with the above comments :)

[Astartes Consul]

Thanks for the comments,

 

 

I better clear this up, I chose the 21st founding because I want to include a nifty little plot involving a deranges Adeptus Mechanicus Master Biologicus (That was a long phrase). Bascily, he's more interested in his own standing that the good of the Imperium. So when he gets tasked with creating a new chapter he descides to try and 'recreate' the taller, more powerful first foudning marines. This goes, well, wrong, although the chapter's marines are bigger and suposedly better that more recent marines. Current power armour patterns strugle to hold their weight and various functions and organs in them don't work. At this point the Inquisition and Adeptus Mechanicu start to get intrested, the chapter is years over schedual. In a vain attempt to save his career, he uses his influence over the nearby forge world of Gryphone IV to gain acsess to STC data of older marks of armour, this enables him to equip the chapter rapidly and he tries to use them as a private army. To cut a long story short, an Inquisitor arrives with a fleet. I giant battle insues in which the Astral Templar side with teh Inquisition,the chapters homeworld is destroyed, but the marines and their equipment on the planets moon, survive. The chapter is spared investigation due to teh influence of its Parent chapter and so their genetic flaws are never uncovered.

 

I plan to write it up in much more detail as soon as I have enough time(maybe tonight if I'm lucky) along with the chapters full origins, first actions ETC. I knows its a draft at the moment but how does it sound?

 

I also agree that they're abit Iron Handy, I can't think of any solutions to thi. Any Ideas?

 

Finaly, if the 21st founding if the cursed one, then what's the 13th? I'm sure there is something odd about it...

 

 

cheers

 

'Fuzz'

[xRagex]

The STC thing bothers me, if there was an STC anywhere I figure the Adeptus Mechanicus would want it, and want it badly. So that would mean you have a genetic flaw and ancient armor no one else has, that seems too iffy for my liking but I do like the underlying idea although what happens to the *deep breath* Adeptus Mechanicus Master Biologicus-supercallafragi... my bad. You get the idea though.

[Astartes Consul]

@XrageX I agree, however The STC for oild types of armour would already me in circulation(methinks) although as the old patterns have been phased out of production, it would still be hard to get. How about a new Mark of armour? he didn't ahve enough Data to creat full suits of old marks so he incorperated some of their features?

 

 

cheers

[MikeH]

Or why not simply have the same armor, but it takes muuuuuch longer to custom fit it for such huge wearers, thus repairs and recruiting are thst much harder?

 

A New Mark would be shipped to Terra, even if they had to use hundreds of thousands of Skitari to get it, and locked up in red tape for a century or two. Thus I suggest the above.

[Startrek]

So the adept has all the old armor retrofitted onto the new marines because he wanted to get newer and more badass marines like the first founding marines? Is this what he was trying to do?

 

And to answer your question about 13th and 21st foundings, 21st is cursed and 13th is dark. Dark founding was a little screwed up but cursed is way screwed up.

[Rune Priest Gribnoor]

One thing that you must know is that recently (and I mean in the new tyrannid codex, the date is something 998.M41, so REALLY recently), Gryphonne IV was destoryed at the hands of the Hive Fleet Lith.... something (sorry, cant remmeber exact name, but most recent one).

 

Your chapter is 21st founding so really, if it is space-borne, this wont have affected you. But if you actually recruit from surrounding systems it would have had an impact.

 

Because it is so recent, you can really choose not to mention it as it is not widly known I dont believe but involving it in your chapter may add something to its recent history. Just a thought.

[Astartes Consul]

@MikeH: very cool idea, I was having problems with teh 'old' marks thingy and as you say, it would probably be nicked my The AM anyway so I think I'll change it to your ideas.

 

@Rune Priest Gribnoor: I knew that Gryphone IV was attack but I don't think it was destroyed, all of the recent GW material I've seen sugests that its still there, butr then thats GW...

I'm planing to incorperate them into the battle against Leviathan and the defence of Gryphone IV, big epic scape battle style etc.

 

Ook, hopefuly the Origins section of teh chapter IA will be up soon, or atleast a more detailed info section on the event surrounding their creation. Not tonight as I'm goign out but probably tomorow.

 

Thanks for the C&C, I love constructive critasism

 

cheers

[Heru]

According to the general article on the Cursed founding, all the Chapters created in it were created by the same people (notably an Inquisitor with allot of Techno Arcana).

 

Apparently it had something to do with recreating the Primarches (though so they could be more resistant to the effects of Chaos).

 

"Log Entry No: 23

Project Homo Sapiens Novus continues to meet with further success and I believe that within the next few accelerated evolutionary iterations we may achieve our goal of recreating the Primarches and imbue them with psychically attuned minds to resist the Taint/Effects/Pull of Chaos. That we may follow in the footsteps of our Glorious Emperor fills me with pride and that my name may be spoken of in the same breath is an honour I can scarce believe."

 

(Words entered in bold are are words that fit most comfortably, where there are gaps in the story).

 

Now the Dark Founding happened during the Age of Apostasy in which Lord Vandire was creating havok and so allot of the records detailing the creation of Chapters during the 13th Founding were lost or destroyed.

 

 

So 21st Founding = Chapters created in secret so their details likely don't exist.

 

13th Founding = Many Records lost.

[Astartes Consul]

Hi all

 

Sorry about the slow rate at which I've been writing, here's my Origins section of IA:Astral Templars,

 

 

IA: Astral Templars

 

 

Origins:

 

Hailing from the extreme south of the Segementum Tempestus, The Astral Templars have a reputation among the population of the southern most tip of the mighty Imperium as staunch, if not fanatical defenders of the Imperium. The Segmentum Tempestus is so full of strife that such a force of cold hearted warriors is a blessing and many a planetary governor has gladly allowed the Templers to turn his worlds into a maze of trenches and bunker in the name of the defence of humanity. Yet, like many of the most devout warriors of Terra, the Astral Templers are not all that they seem to be. Their cold hearted ruthlessness is not simply doctrine of the chapter and their abnormal size compared to other chapters is not coincidence. These factors are in fact, the by products of a disastrous experiment in bio-engineering, one that is referred to simply as, 'The Curse' by those who must live under its shadow...

 

In the years running up to the 21st founding the forge world of Gryphone IV received a new Master Biologicus, by the name of Jashmel, responsible for the general health of the entire Semgentum Tempestus. His job was to guard against mutation and plague that constantly swept through the Imperium and monitor the genetic health of the Segmentum. For the first decade that he held his office he carries out this task diligently and with great gusto. However, as his influence grew, so did his aspirations. Soon he began to covert the thrones of others. The Current supreme Mater Biologicus of the Adeptus Mechanicus was looking increasingly frail. Hundreds of years old his health was, despite all his arcane technologies, starting to fail.

 

Jashmel coveted this position and began to plot and scheme his rightful master's demise. He knew it would be another few decades at least before a new Master Biologicus was needed. So he began a series of great works, designed to impress his seniors. Mass genetic purification took place throughout the Segmentum. Pioneering research was begun of everything from alien anatomy to the curing off illness. Like a rocket shooting into the heavens, Jashmel's influence and prestige soared within the Adeptus Mechanicus. So it was no suprise that when the high lords of Terra issued a proclamation of founding and the area of Space near Gryphone IV was chosen to be one of the new chapter's homeworlds that Jashmel was put in charge.

 

 

Jashmel saw this as his chance. The current Master Biologicus had suddenly died only a week before the announcement, and it was clear that one of the 4 Segment Biologicuses would soon be promoted. To assure his promotion, Jashmel hatched a grand plan, he was convinced that he could, with Acrane techno Liberia, discovered on a dead world just out of Imperial space, that he could re-create the legions of the first founding, and eventually the Primarches. With this in mind he set up a base on the Moon of the planet Kerach, and with an army of servitors and lesser priests at his command, began his great work...

 

He toiled of many years, those few non-mechanical constructs in the base during the first half of the chapters creation have since described it as, 'Like the lair of some deranged scientist'. And indeed, as the days went past Jashmel sank further and further into the pit of insanity. He was met by failure after failure and at some point, he must have realised that, years behind schedule, he would now never have a chance of becoming the next Master Biologicus. Although it is dangerous to even guess what when through a mind so warped as his now was, this fact seemed to galvanise him. His project suddenly began to work, by adding both chemical and artificial component to the marine's bones and black carapace; he created taller, stronger and more ruthless marines that any body could imagine. He also managed to accelerate their creation, and although this left many aspirants crippled or dead and much of the Iron Hand's precious Gene-seed being wasted. The chapter was brought back on schedule and was actually finished before any of the other chapter of the 21st founding.

 

However, as it seemed he might just succeed, the most basic of problems finally thwarted the Adept of Mars's plans. Normal pattern space marine armour simply didn't fit the new marines. They already weighed that of a space marine in full combat gear with no armour and were far too big for any existing pattern of power armour. But by now Jashmel was all but insane. He simply drove his minions harder. Working on modifying existing suits for the new marines. However, each marine took years to fit out and by the time he was fully adorned in his armour he weighed the same weight and an Space marine terminator wielding a Cyclone missile launcher. Once again the chapter fell behind the other, who although were still small in number, will already fighting in the defence of the Imperium. By know Jashmel was drawing the Interest of the Inquisition. Numerous demands for an explanation were unanswered and finally the Inquisitors and the Adeptus Mechanicus could restrain themselves no longer, they declared Jashmel Excommunicate Traitor and sent a massive armada against him.

 

This resulted in the Battle of Jashmels folly. Above Kerach the armada met the unprepared and outnumbered fleet of Jashmel's expeditionary force. The ships of the Astral Templers lying at anchor nearby, unscrewed.

Seeing the odds against him Jashmel tried to use the Astral Templers against the inquisition. But the marines were finally beginning to feel the side effects of Jashmel's 'improvement' and bluntly refused their, 'beloved creator's' pleas for help. However, any decision about their neutrality was taken out of their hands when Jashmel, enraged by their 'treachery' turned his guns on Kerach. Firing deadly atmospheric missile into Kerach's atmosphere they ignited the planets Oxygen rich environment. Killing its inhabitant to the man. Seeing their homeworld destroyed, the Templers attacked Jashmel. Their fleet finally tipping the battle in the Inquisitions favour and their chapter master blowing of Jashlems head...

 

With the battle over the Templers were hailed as heroes, shinning examples of what humanity should aspire to. Spared and Inquisitorial investigation because of their role in the battle Kerach's moon was turned into a mobile fortress monastery for their use and the full might of Gryphone IV's industrial power was used to finish their equipment. Finally, in the ruins of their homeworld, the Astral Templers were given this mandate.

'To Guard the Imperium against the heretic, mutant and Witch. To seek out and destroy its foes. And to stand as a bastion of the Emperor's light against the tide of darkness that withes the glorious Emperors overthrow'

Yet Jashmles body was never found and to this day the Templers fight and die under the influence of his curse and have swore that is, by some chance, he survived. To hunt him down with all the vigour that they should and exact their blood vengeance on him...

 

+++++++

 

 

How is it?

 

It's over 1000 word so I better not have mucked up too much... :rolleyes:

 

cheers

[Severus6]

Extremely well done. You have spent considerable time on this and it shows. Just a few suggestions here and there for your consideration.

 

1. Its been touched on before as your Chapter isnt that bad off when it comes to being cursed. I like what you have done to portray that. What I might suggest here is that over the last few centuries the "Curse" has waned. Less and less marines have been affected by it. Still there are some throwbacks but the Chapter is surviving,...thus the reason that an investigation was not needed.

 

2. The Chapteris obsessed with Geneseed purity,...they have to be, and because of that believe they have prevailed where other 21st Founding Chapters have failed.

 

3.Dont worry about your boys being too "Iron Handy"as you called them.The background is good, the timeline flows, and it generally falls within the accepted GW background.

 

Just a few thoughts.

 

Severus6

[Astartes Consul]

Thanks for your comments, I like the idea of the curse waining somewhat. Just like normal marines have decreased in size and strength since the 1st founding... :blink:

 

Gene seed purity is something I'm going to touch on in the folowing bits of the IA, I've already planed for the Cult of Iron and the Iron clerics to be very focused on strength of bodt ETC. Maybe changing the Clerics form chappys/techmarines to Chappys/Apoths would be a good idea?

 

 

Also, I plan for Jashmel to resurface at some point in teh chapter's history, although not yet...

 

 

cheers

[Severus6]

That or simply write in your background how Apoth's are constantly checking the geneseed. You could go with the idea that Iron Clerics/Iron Fathers run the Chapter as a whole and Apoth's run Tac Squads. You will pay a lot of points for it but it fits, its legal, and I think it falls in line with what you have already written and what you have said you wanted for your Chapter.

 

Severus6