Hyplions Space Marine Chapter

[Apemantus]

Here's one of my DIY chapters, the Hyplions are completely different to my Steel Templars (which are my main DIY chapter) I've not given the Hyplions any traits yets as I'm still unsure, so any help would be nice.

 

 

Gene-seed: Imperial Fists

Founding: Fourth Founding

Chapter colours: Black with blue and white strips

Home world: Horde Prime, a savannah grass land world, located in the Segmentum Pacificus.

Combat Doctrine: The chapter is a mix between mobile fire power and close combat troops.

Motto: "Blast it till it stands no taller than the dust."

 

The Hyplions are a by word for destruction amongst most Imperial Factions.

Reported by some to be nothing more than mad bombers, the Hyplions delight

in tearing their opponents apart with heavy weapons and reducing their

strong holds to mere rubble. The Inquisition has tried and failed on many

occasions to investigate the chapter and some whisper that the Hyplion's lust

for destruction is so great that even once the enemy has been defeated the

Chapter will turn it's own melta bombs on their allies.

 

Origins.

Reports on the many Space Marine Chapters are hard to come by. Most chapters

are secretive and resist any outside interference and the Hyplions are no

different. Thought to be a successor chapter of the Imperial Fists, the Hyplion's

exact founding is a mystery. Some claim the Chapter is a product of the Dark

Founding however other Adaptus Astartes most notably the Imperial Fists have

records of a Chapter baring the Hyplions colours dating back to the ill fated

Fourth Founding. Though it does not name them the chapter is described as crazed bombers only interested in reducing everything to dust. If the Hyplions are part of the Fourth Founding then it would appear that they too haven

[Commissar Molotov]

Alright, they're certainly interesting, and it's obvious you've put a lot of work into the Hyplions.

 

The idea of a siege chapter is certainly interesting, though in a sense it does deviate from the standard role of the Adeptus Astartes. They're typically seen as a rapid reaction force; heavy weapons the scale you're describing might better benefit a slightly slower chapter. Of course, the Imperial Fists are often acknowledged as a siege chapter, and it's cool to see you expanding upon that angle of their character.

 

I'm not so sure about references such as 'mad bombers'... it doesn't entirely seem fitting for the Adeptus Astartes, to me... they're noble and valiant warriors. It could simply be a question of wording, or are you suggesting a personality/character trait inherent to the chapter?

 

Is there any reason the Inquisition is trying to investigate the chapter? Do they suspect a taint? Have the Hyplions ever been censured for use of excessive force? Either by other chapter masters, Inquisitors or the like?

 

I saw your references towards the Steel Templars. I'd be interested to know why you say 'the ill-fated fourth founding'... why was it ill-fated? If there's some fluff I've missed, I'd gladly like to hear about it... but otherwise, it might be better to drop the 'ill-fated', or change it to a slightly more infamous founding, such as the thirteenth or twenty-first. Whilst the 'curse' is characterful, it could be interpreted by some as taking liberties with the fluff.

 

I would say, though, that the chapter appears to have gotten away relatively scot-free for having sided with chaos and attacked a loyal Space Marine chapter. Whilst they understandably suffered heavy losses, surely there should be some coincidences? Perhaps you could work in something about how they see other Imperial organisations, or how other Space Marine chapters see them.

 

On the whole, though, the chapter seems very interesting, and they have a lot of promise. I'm keen to see more. :)

[Darrell]

I would like to see more information given to the Chapter's betrayal, especially as to how they were tricked. So far you just tell us that they receive a mysterious message from a mysterious sender traced to a mysterious location telling them that there is no man named Setramer. However, earlier in your fluff you mention that Inquisitor Setramer is a long-standing ally of the Hyplions...have they been deceived for this long? If so, how were they so easily led astray? Was the Inquisitor suddenly "replaced"? Does the Inquisition know what happened, or do they just see a Chapter turning and murdering their fleet?

 

This seems to be the major turning point of the Chapter, I think you should treat it with more attention and detail.

[Race Bannon]

Is there any reason the Inquisition is trying to investigate the chapter?

As I see it the answer is here:

... the Hyplion's lust

for destruction is so great that even once the enemy has been defeated the

Chapter will turn it's own melta bombs on their allies.

Would the Inquisition be involved in this? Even it is just "rumored" that the Hyplions turn on their allies I do not think the Inquisition is the catch-all Space Marine deviance police force. So Molotov's questions are certainly a means to explain a little further. UNLESS, you intentionally want the mystery of their "mad bombing" behavior. But I would take the Inquisition out unless there IS a connection to heresy.

---

 

Your reference to Setramer as an "Inquisitor" - after - he reveals the bad news is very confusing. Did Setramer change sides or was he always on the side of Chaos? I don't think this needs to be described, just changed.

---

 

Keep it up :devil:

[Mrph45]

Alright, they're certainly interesting, and it's obvious you've put a lot of work into the Hyplions.

 

The idea of a siege chapter is certainly interesting, though in a sense it does deviate from the standard role of the Adeptus Astartes. They're typically seen as a rapid reaction force; heavy weapons the scale you're describing might better benefit a slightly slower chapter. Of course, the Imperial Fists are often acknowledged as a siege chapter, and it's cool to see you expanding upon that angle of their character.

 

 

Well the Iron Warriors were the preeminant siege masters of the space marine legions before the heresy, so its very workable. I think the fists were expert siege breakers?

 

When the chapter later emerged they became incredibly ruthless and stubborn, doing what ever was need needed to win, not even caring about those they were meant to protect.

 

There were similar references to the Marines Malevolent during the armageddon campaign, they shelled civillian camps in which orks had penetrated not caring about civilian causaulties.

 

Sounds like a good premise, but I'd drop the inquisition angle and rework it into the fact that they have no qualms about friendly fire if it destroys their enemy as well. I see it as "So what if 2,000 of your guard troopers died General, the orks were annihilated without the loss of a marine"

[Apemantus]

I'll answer a few questions now as I'm in the middle of writing up a full blow IA for the Hyplions.

 

I'm not so sure about references such as 'mad bombers'... it doesn't entirely seem fitting for the Adeptus Astartes, to me... they're noble and valiant warriors. It could simply be a question of wording, or are you suggesting a personality/character trait inherent to the chapter?

It's more to do with how other Imperial Factions have seen them, For example the Imperial Guard see the Hyplions as a little to trigger happy with their Melta bombs, in a similar fashion the Blood Angel tend to go berserk with their chainswords.

 

Is there any reason the Inquisition is trying to investigate the chapter? Do they suspect a taint? Have the Hyplions ever been censured for use of excessive force? Either by other chapter masters, Inquisitors or the like?

Think Marines Malevolent, only twice as bad. There is a thing as too much excessive force, at the moment they are only rumors buy the Inquisition does suspect the chapter may have some flaw.

 

So far you just tell us that they receive a mysterious message from a mysterious sender traced to a mysterious location telling them that there is no man named Setramer

Ah now this is a mystery, the name Setramer is an Anagram, the answer maybe in another chapter's IA I posted a few weeks back :D as to who sent the message, that will be revealed at a later date.

 

However, earlier in your fluff you mention that Inquisitor Setramer is a long-standing ally of the Hyplions...have they been deceived for this long?

It's similar to how Inquisitor Stele betrayed the Blood Angels in the book Deus Encarmine.

 

Was the Inquisitor suddenly "replaced"? Does the Inquisition know what happened, or do they just see a Chapter turning and murdering their fleet?

Again the Identity of the Inquisitor can't be revealed yes the Inquisition know what happened but they don't know the details of what happened.

Just to clear up things the Inquisition are investigating the chapter due to the rumor of a flaw in their gene-seed and not the events where the chapter was lead astray (those events seem to have been covered up.)

 

I saw your references towards the Steel Templars. I'd be interested to know why you say 'the ill-fated fourth founding'... why was it ill-fated? If there's some fluff I've missed, I'd gladly like to hear about it... but otherwise, it might be better to drop the 'ill-fated', or change it to a slightly more infamous founding, such as the thirteenth or twenty-first. Whilst the 'curse' is characterful, it could be interpreted by some as taking liberties with the fluff.

A number of my DIY chapter's fates are interwoven, it appears they have been trick, deceived or mislead and that disastrous events surrounding these chapters has been covered up for some unknown reason. the only connection they have is that they were all founded during the fourth founding and that they all have the same gene-seed, this small group of DIY chapters are known as the 'Ill Fated' and it seems they are cursed, all the chapters have suffered heavy loses just after their founding (some were even destroyed) some force is at work manipulating them and just when the chapter is on the rise a disaster happens to them, who is responcible and why will be revealed at a later date.

 

I would say, though, that the chapter appears to have gotten away relatively scot-free for having sided with chaos and attacked a loyal Space Marine chapter. Whilst they understandably suffered heavy losses, surely there should be some coincidences?

The events were covered up, It's a tricky subject as the Hyplions did not know they had sided with chaos and once they did know they attacked their former allies. The reason why the Hyplions got of relatively scot- free is because (a) The events were altered by the Inquisitor's forces and the loyal chapter that was attacked and almost destroyed were blamed instead(History is written by the victors and by those who survived.) and (B ) because the Hyplions didn't report the incident (for selfish reasons) because they feared retribution and choose to hid their shame, as for the loyal chapter they attacked any guesses as to who they were? :wink:

[Mrph45]

You sure their not a cursed founding, they seem to have that kind of luck :wink:

[NINmaestro]

No, no guesses here. I would suggest though that you do express some extreme animosity between the chapters of late if the other chapter did learn that the Hyplions did attack them.

 

By the way, where did you come up the name "Hyplions"?

[Apemantus]

I would suggest though that you do express some extreme animosity between the chapters of late if the other chapter did learn that the Hyplions did attack them.

 

By the way, where did you come up the name "Hyplions"?

 

The Hyplions and the other loyal chapter didn't not meet face to face, according to the Inquisition the Loyal chapter was destroyed in the conflict and blamed for the whole incident. As for the Name Hyplions, they have the gene-seed of Dorn and their name links them to the Imperial Fists

[Severus6]

I am going to be straight away honest with you on this; I love the concept of a seige Chapter but I think you have taken this the entirely wrong way. Forget the deception angle, forget the issues with the Inquisition, forget the whole disdain for everyone bit. Its too overdone and mixs to many cliches. This Chapter could be so much better,...the concept is great! The idea of a true SM Siege Chapter is kicked around every so often but few if any follow through. The flip side to this is that those who can breach defenses can create them as well. You could be that Chapter. The IF are not everywhere at once, thus you were born, you share the same geneseed many of the same beliefs. Your boys become the "first in and the last out" guys; Need to breach somewhere on the galactic realm you get the call. A Warmaster needs a strike point established or a planetary breach point created, guess what, its you again. Why, because nobody does it like you. I see these guys as being cold as ice, not ruthless but straight away stubborn. Unflappable in the face of anything,... I will either pound you to dust or be the the giant thorn in your side but either way I am never going away till I am done or dead. I see Dev squads as Elites, Tac squads with duel special weapons, Term Squads tied in with Scout squads and the ever present teleport homer/beacon, Dreads with duel heavy weapons accompanied with a Tech Marine, Ast squads just aching to counterattack or supprting a deepstrike that quickly becomes a whole new front and another bad day for the enemy ,...just my take on it. Something to consider maybe,...

 

Severus6

[Apemantus]

Here's the second draft, I've tried to included most people's ideas while keeping some of my own. I'm quite happy with it at the moment, maybe one or extra events as to what the chapters been up to, but for the time being i'm more interested in the details about the chapter itself and what they can do. I'm interested to know what people thing of the traits that i've selected for them

 

 

Hyplions

 

Gene-seed: Imperial Fists

Founding: Fourth Founding

Chapter colours: Black with blue and white strips

Home world: Horde Prime, a savannah grass land world, located in the Segmentum Pacificus.

Combat Doctrine: The chapter is a mix between mobile fire power and close combat troops.

Motto: "Blast it till it stands no taller than the dust."

 

The Hyplions are a by word for destruction amongst most Imperial Factions.

Reported by some Imperial Guard officers to be nothing more than Ruthless bombers, the Hyplions delight in tearing their opponents apart with heavy weapons and reducing their

strong holds to mere rubble. Some say that the Hyplion's lust for destruction is so great that even once the enemy has been defeated the Chapter will turn it's own melta bombs on their allies.

 

Origins.

Reports on the many Space Marine Chapters are hard to come by. Most chapters

are secretive and resist any outside interference and the Hyplions are no

different. Thought to be a successor chapter of the Imperial Fists, the Hyplion's

exact founding is a mystery. Some claim the Chapter is a product of the Dark

Founding however other Adaptus Astartes most notably the Imperial Fists have

records of a Chapter baring the Hyplions colours dating back to the Fourth Founding. Though it does not name them the chapter is described as ruthless bombers only interested in reducing everything to dust. If the Hyplions are part of the Fourth Founding then it would appear that they too haven

[Severus6]

Much better,...now fill in a timeline, clean up some cocepts and you will be on target. I am still under the imression that you dont need the MM angle but if you are setwith having them in there have at it. Much better second time around.

 

Severus6