the Grey Ghosts

[Grey Ghost]

Right here is a 1st posted draft of my DIY chapter, its unfinished and without pictures and diagrams. Hopefully going to turn this into a web site when ready.

 

WARNING - Its long

 

But please do read and give comments and criticism - if their nice that is!

 

 

Index Astartes: The Grey Ghosts

 

A silent and deadly chapter of space marines, never initiating contact to those outside of their ranks, or even it seems to talk between themselves. Silently marching towards their quarry across battlefields, without muttering even a war cry, all that can be heard is the chatter of their bolters as they close in for the kill. It is not known if their true chapter name is the Grey Ghosts, but this is what they have become to be known. Many stories are told across the Segmentum Pacificus of these ghostly death spectres.

 

 

[Big Woop]

I think this is good, though maybe you should divide the text into smaller segments. Anyway, I like how the theme of the chapter feels consistent.

 

One thing, if the veterans choose which marines go to battle, how do they guarantee they will have enough manpower? Does this mean they are more numerous than other chapters?

[Grey Ghost]

I was planning to make it into a reader freindly pdf with diagrams and artwork on the lines of a IA entry, but wanted to get some feed back on the content first.

 

And yes I was thinking along the lines of a larger unknown number of marines, but not having the full force on the field of battle at once.