Shadow Wolves Index Astartes

[Cyberwolf]

Some of you (those with really long memories) might recall my own chapter, the Shadow Wolves, from way back when. Well, after being out of the game for a spell, I'm back with what I hope will be the final version of my index astartes, so once I finally finish painting them all I can stamp my marines "done".

 

What I'm looking for here is any sort of critique, comments or suggestions on the style and background of the chapter, as opposed to, say, spelling or grammer (which I'll be running a final check on myself). Of course, any comments of whatever kind are welcome.

 

Thanks in advance guys, here we go:

LONE WOLVES

The Shadow Wolves Space Marine Chapter

Origins

 

The Shadow Wolves Chapter was founded in the 36th Millennium, guarding the distant southeastern edge of the galaxy, on the very edge of known space. Isolated from the rest of the Imperium, the Shadow Wolves have grown fiercely independent and often stand distant from other Imperial organizations. While their isolation has separated them from many of the Imperium's conflicts and corruption, the Chapter must stand alone against the uncountable aliens, traitors and myriad other foes that haunt the void where the light of the Astronomicon grows dim. While there are some who distrust the aloof Shadow Wolves, their long history of warfare against the enemies of man speaks for itself.

 

Homeworld

 

The Shadow Wolves' homeworld of Harja lies on the southeastern edge of Imperial space, on the border of the Eastern Fringe. Harja Prime is a medium G2-class star orbited by three planets, of which only Harja is inhabited, although the outermost planet does support life. The system is well isolated from the rest of the Imperium, and outside access to Harja is minimal at best.

 

Two moons orbit the planet, Lera and Lyca. Both are of similar size and much of their composition is the same, but their outer surfaces are radically different. Lera's soil and rocks are a light, creamy grey, while Lyca's outer surface is a dark charcoal color. Both moons are airless and uninhabited, with the exception of a small training base on Lyca maintained by the Chapter.

 

Harja itself is a feral world, mostly untouched by human hand. The majority of the planet's landmass is contained within three large continents, with several large island chains making up the rest. The dominant terrain type is mountainous, with large tracts of temperate rainforest covering the flatter areas. Clear terrain is a rarity on Harja, the most open areas are located in the rocky deserts and badlands often found near the equator.

 

The native population of Harja lives in a tribal society, divided into numerous small groups known as clans. The clans are often at war with each other, despite sharing similar cultural and theological backgrounds. These wars and the planet's inhospitable climate, terrain and wildlife have forged the people of Harja into rugged, skilled hunters and warriors, ideal recruits for the Shadow Wolves. Every member of the clan contributes to and is dedicated to the survival of the whole, from the youngest child to the oldest leader. The survival of every clan depends on its ability to hunt, and children are taught from birth to track down and kill wild game.

 

The natives of Harja live in ignorance of the Imperium, unknowing of any inhabited world save their own. They see the Shadow Wolves as beings of legend, mysterious warriors who seek out the most talented and skilled of the clan's youth to join their ranks. It is said among the clans that these mystic warriors live in a great fortress atop the highest mountain, far from the home territory of any clan. A few, lost from their clan or orphaned by war, search for this fortress seeking shelter, hoping to be judged worthy enough to serve them in exchange for safety.

 

Harja is a harsh and dangerous home, which holds many natural dangers for the people of the clans. The world is home to a wide variety of animal species, and its predators are known for their ferocity and aggressiveness. Fierce, dinosaur-like Verrak, six-foot-long bipedal lizards with razor-sharp talons, inhabit the equatorial badlands. Fast and intelligent, they hunt in packs and can run up to fifty kilometers per hour. The rainforests are home to the Kaylar, a massive jungle cat with eight-inch teeth. Birds of prey with 15-foot wingspans called Atana swoop down on their prey, carrying it off whole.

 

The most notable species present on Harja are its wolves, which bear striking similarity to the animals that roamed the surface of Terra millennia ago. Several distinct types are found on the planet, ranging from the Leran, or Mist Wolf, roughly the size of a coyote with distinctive bluish fur, to the much larger Lupa, the "Shadow Wolf" for which the Chapter is named. Both the natives of Harja and the brethren of the Shadow Wolves see these wolves as sacred animals, a palpable link to their mythological gods. Ancient law forbids their hunting and killing one is considered a terrible crime.

 

Combat Doctrine

 

The hunting background of the native Harjan clans has had a strong influence on the tactical doctrines of the Shadow Wolves. The Chapter's scouts are widely deployed in a forward reconnaissance role, to determine the location and strength of enemy forces. The Wolves make considerable use of transport vehicles and other mobile forces, allowing them to exploit any weaknesses in the enemies' battle line. This careful scouting followed by a rapid advance has become a signature tactic of the Shadow Wolves.

 

Shadow Wolves forces tend to place emphasis on ranged combat, once again because of the background of the Harjan people. The hunters of the clans are capable archers nearly without exception, and the brethren of the Chapter are particularly skilled marksmen. The Shadow Wolves do not lack the skills necessary for close assault, but nonetheless their tactical doctrines almost always revolve around the application of firepower.

 

Optimized for fluid, mobile combat, the Shadow Wolves forces are ill suited for siege operations and direct assaults. As such, the Chapter makes little use of drop pods and instead prefers to conduct a campaign after landing vehicles and other mobile assets. Instead of tearing the heart out of the enemy with a direct attack, the Shadow Wolves will instead strike quickly at his weak points, bringing the enemy to his knees before delivering the final blow.

 

Organization

 

Much of the Shadow Wolves' organization is based directly on the Codex Astartes, with one large exception: size. The Chapter consists of eight companies instead of the usual ten, although the number of marines in each company is a bit larger. This means that the numerical strength of the Shadow Wolves is actually below Codex standards. The reason for this discrepancy is unknown, although records indicate that this method of organization has been used for some time. It has been suggested that this is simply a logistical solution, since the Shadow Wolves recruit only from the small native population of Harja and cannot replace casualties as fast as most other Chapters.

 

The Shadow Wolves are also noted for the size of their scout company, which contains not only younger battle brethren but also the Chapter's warriors most experienced in stealth and tracking. These forces are critical to the success of the Chapter's military operations, as their quick, mobile approach requires precise scouting and reconnaissance to determine the enemies' areas of strength and weakness.

 

Beliefs

 

The roots of Harjan belief are difficult to trace, likely dating back to the Dark Age of Technology before the Great Crusade, when the colonists that became the native clans of Harja were cut off from the rest of mankind. Although in conflict with the Imperial Cult in several ways, this system of belief has thrived in Harja's isolation and it seems only natural that it would be adopted by the Shadow Wolves. Despite its deviances, the Shadow Wolves remain as dedicated to the Emperor as any other Chapter , and have a long and proud history of battle against the foes of mankind.

 

The Harjan pantheon is led by two deities, Tarl and Malon. Legend holds that they are lovers, and that every living thing on Harja, including man, is one of their children. It was they who gave the universe form, shaping reality out of chaos. They are said to watch over their creations, helping or testing them as their will dictates.

 

Tarl is the Harjan God of fire, and is most associated with war and combat. Harjan warriors traditionally dedicate themselves to Tarl, and ask for his strength to help defend their clan from outside threats. To the Shadow Wolves the Emperor is an avatar of Tarl's spirit, an embodiment of his righteous anger against those who seek to destroy his children. It is Tarl whom the chapter's warriors dedicate themselves to, and see it as their sacred task to protect mankind from its enemies with Tarl's strength and holy fury.

 

Goddess of water, Malon represents the more peaceful side of the Harjan pantheon. It is she who gives life, just as nothing can live without water. However, Malon's element of water represents a paradox: just as water can give life, it can also be dangerous and deadly. This is reflected in Malon's nature, and Harja's cold climate and fierce winter storms are said to be her tests of her children. While there are many among the clans who give themselves to worship of Malon, few among the Shadow Wolves do so, focused on their dedication to Tarl. The exception is the Apothecaries, those responsible for maintaining the life of the chapter and the purity of its geneseed.

 

Harjan lore speaks of the Ryasha, mythical daemons that seek to destroy Tarl, Malon and their children and thus rule the universe. Legend says that these evil beings existed before Malon and Tarl gave form to the universe, and fight to destroy all reality and return all of creation to the void. The Shadow Wolves are sworn enemies of these Ryasha, no matter what form they may take, and the alien creatures that assail humanity from all sides are said to be servants of these daemons.

 

The Shadow Wolves stand out among other chapters of the Adeptus Astartes as one of the more mystical. The Wolves place considerable stock in portents and omens, and believe that Tarl guides them through such signs. The interpretation of these omens is considered an art within the Shadow Wolves, and the decisions of the chapter commanders depend as much on their own personal feelings as on tactical analysis. While such an approach has served the Shadow Wolves, many other chapters deployed alongside them have been frustrated with their mystic ways and their desire to follow their own signs and plans. Great trust is also given to the prescient visions of the Chapter's Librarians, and in several cases the premonitions of these psykers has saved the chapter from defeat.

Geneseed

 

The geneseed of the Shadow Wolves appears unremarkable, with the function of all organs appearing within normal parameters. What is unusual is the Chapter's lack of knowledge of their primogenetor legion. The chronicle of the Chapter's history is long and ancient, but many of its earliest records are fragmentary or lost altogether. Many of the Chapter's records were lost during the War of Ascension millennia ago, when the Daemon Prince Ragath Zaar invaded Harja. Thus, the Shadow Wolves have no solid record of their lineage, and seem to care little which Primarch is their own. While the stability of their geneseed makes it all but certain that the chapter is descended from the Ultramarines, the Shadow Wolves appear content to dedicate themselves entirely to Tarl and his avatar, the Emperor.

Battlecry

 

The Shadow Wolves have no formal battle cry, often making use of passages and phrases from the Chapter’s chronicles and Harjan lore. The Chapter's motto is Lucia Kyian, which when roughly translated means "Forever Loyal" or "Loyalty Always". However, this phrase in Harjan encompasses a much greater sense of devotion than the Gothic translation. Lucia, or loyalty, is derived from the same root as Lupa, the Harjan word for wolf. This word expresses the absolute loyalty of the wolf pack, and the unbreakable bonds between its members.

 

Doctrines

 

Advantage: Cleanse and Purify

Drawback: Die Standing

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Thanks for reading!

[Race Bannon]

Dude, this was a fun read! ;) I very much appreciate the mythos you have made.

 

So on to the few things that struck my fancy as I read it ...

 

While their isolation has separated them from many of the Imperium's conflicts and corruption, the Chapter must stand alone against the uncountable aliens, traitors and myriad other foes that haunt the void where the light of the Astronomicon grows dim. While there are many who distrust the aloof Shadow Wolves, their long history of warfare against the enemies of man speaks for itself.

They are isolated ... maybe not completely but I get the impression they have been on their own for a while. So, who are the "many" that do not trust them? If Space Marines are mostly autonomous, and your Chapter has been kiccking ass for the Imperium, then what's the problem? Even with their mysticism mentioned later, I would still think it would be "a few" versus "many". Or at least you have not justified "many".

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A few, lost from their clan or orphaned by war, search for this fortress seeking shelter, hoping to be judged worthy enough to serve them in exchange for safety.

Can you further explain why these few would seek "beings of legend" ... for safety? Why not just go to another clan? I understand the clan schema is that outsiders are not welcome - but using safety as a reason to find "mysterious warriors" seems a little weak to me. Some clarification to help me understand or accept this would be helpful. Granted ... why not?

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The 6th paragraph under "Homeworld" certainly talks about the homeworld but seems seperate from the homeworld's relevance to the chapter or the natives. Your imagination is impressive and this paragraph is well written (imo) - but it seems out of place.

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Harjan lore speaks of the Ryasha, mythical daemons that seek to destroy Tarl, Malon and their children and thus rule the universe.

Maybe it's my poor understanding of my own language ... but this sentence said to me that the Ryasha rule the universe. I think you mean to say that their goals are to destroy the good guys and the effect of their destruction is to rule the universe afterwards. The sentence is written efficiently and there is nothing wrong grammatically. But I had to reread it so it interrupted the floor of the reading.

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That's all I have. This is a solid article. What I have said may help. It may not.

 

:tu:

[Cyberwolf]

Thanks, Race! Let's see...

 

They are isolated ... maybe not completely but I get the impression they have been on their own for a while. So, who are the "many" that do not trust them? If Space Marines are mostly autonomous, and your Chapter has been kiccking ass for the Imperium, then what's the problem? Even with their mysticism mentioned later, I would still think it would be "a few" versus "many". Or at least you have not justified "many".

Fair point. My intention was to refer to their aloof and mystical nature, as they have a tendancy (even more so than your average chapter) of doing 'their own thing'. Consider "many" changed to "some".

Can you further explain why these few would seek "beings of legend" ... for safety? Why not just go to another clan? I understand the clan schema is that outsiders are not welcome - but using safety as a reason to find "mysterious warriors" seems a little weak to me. Some clarification to help me understand or accept this would be helpful. Granted ... why not?

 

The idea was that this was part of the 'legend' - that if you had nowhere else to go, they just might offer you sanctuary. Still, the fact that it is "only a legend" and the sheer danger of the journey would discourage all but a few, who if selected would become chapter serfs. I wanted to include this as a reason for my chapter to have more chapter serfs to serve the brethern as opposed to mechanical servitors. I'll have to think on how to clarify this...

The 6th paragraph under "Homeworld" certainly talks about the homeworld but seems seperate from the homeworld's relevance to the chapter or the natives. Your imagination is impressive and this paragraph is well written (imo) - but it seems out of place.

This paragraph was intended as a lead-in to the following one about Harja's wolves, while also reinforcing how dangerous a place it is to live. But I agree that perhaps this comes across as too abrupt and out of place. What do you think of this more obvious segue sentence, added to the start of the paragraph:

 

"Harja is a harsh and dangerous home, which holds many natural dangers for the people of the clans. The world is home to..."

Maybe it's my poor understanding of my own language ... but this sentence said to me that the Ryasha rule the universe. I think you mean to say that their goals are to destroy the good guys and the effect of their destruction is to rule the universe afterwards. The sentence is written efficiently and there is nothing wrong grammatically. But I had to reread it so it interrupted the floor of the reading.

 

Wow, totally different perspective. I admit, I never saw that angle to it before. But you're right, it is too ambiquitous. I'd say swap "therefore" with the word "thus", which should make that clearer.

 

+++Edit: Actually, "therefore" doesn't fix anything. Um, any suggestions?

 

Great comments! Thanks again!