IA: Crimson Knights (major update)

[Mystery Man]

DIY Chapter I've been working on for quite some time.

 

 

Origins:

 

The Crimson Knights chapter of the Adeptus Astartes was created by order of the Immortal Emperor, speaking through the High Lords of Terra, during the 3rd founding. Shortly after their creation they were given a homeworld. The lush world of Roma Prime where aspiring youths fought in deadly gladiatorial combat to prove their worth to become one of the Emperor's finest. Roma Prime was far removed from the raging battles of the Imperium, knowing nothing but peace and prosperity for six millenia. Then finally the war came home.

 

Betrayal:

 

A vicious attack by the Death Guard legion hit Roma Prime, which lies in the Segmentum Pacificus. The three reserve companies of Crimson Knights remaining on the world joined the evil Lord Varrus. Upon the outbreak of hostilities the remainder of the loyal Crimson Knights rushed back to Roma Prime. What they found was a ruin, their lush world destroyed and perverted by the foul creatures of the warp. The loyal knights decended upon their homeworld like avenging angels. Their outrage at their brothers' weakness driving the normally stoic marines into a mad rage. The traitors were destroyed or driven back into the warp. The once beautiful world of Roma Prime was left in ruin.

 

The Battle of Roma Prime

 

In the year of the Emperor's Grace 423.M37 a large force of Death Guard laid seige to Roma Prime. The sixth, seventh, and eighth companies of Crimson Knights were at the Eternal Fortress to meet the attack. Plauge Marines and Daemons of Nurgle laid seige to the planet as a whole. Villages were corrupted or destroyed. Once faithful servants of the Emperor turned from his light, and into Nurgle worship through fear, or false promises of cures of the terrible diseases the Plague Marines infected the populace with.

 

As Nurgle worship grew, and the families of the faithful went into hiding or were slaughtered the Plague Lord's power grew and a terrible plauge was unleashed upon the marines in the Eternal Fortress. Three-Quarters of the marines still on Roma Prime were in the Fortress, and all were infected. As the Plauge Marines' relentless attack continued the Crimson Knights inside the Fortress lost hope. Their faith was shattered, and slowly one by one they fell to service of Grandfather Nurgle. Those who did not turn were promply executed and few escaped the Eternal Fortress.

 

The infected marines that remained loyal quickly made contact with splinter forces that had struck out to rally the remaining loyal populace of Roma Prime. Appraised of the situation Veteran Brother-Sergeant Urius took overall command of loyal Crimson Knight forces on the planet. After achieving a loose organization of loyal forces, Brother-Sergeant Urius took a handfull of scouts to attempt to infiltrate the Eternal Fortress to send an emergency distress signal to the rest of the Chapter.

 

As Brother-Sergeant Urius and his scouts went into the Mountains of Elysiam to the Eternal Fortress, his brothers led a diversionary counter attack on the Death Guard forces to divert their attention from the small team that was the world's last hope.

 

The battle brothers of the Crimson Knights armed the fighting men of Roma Prime as best they could. At best their warriors were mere boys, hoping to one day fight in the great Coliseum to join their godlike protectors. At worst they were farmers, who had not been fit to fight in the games, or had not been worthy to become space marines. Now these mortals were the only hope for their world. The space marines led the vicious counter attack that followed, putting their trust in the Emperor and swearing to die with honor.

 

For 20 days the ragtag band of gurellia fighters held out stalling the Plague Marines, and heretics. Harassing their flanks and refusing to be completely destroyed. Praying to the Emperor that Brother-Sergeant Urius was successful. Three weeks from when Brother Urius set out on his suicide mission the prayers of the people and defenders of Roma Prime were answered.....

 

Like terrible angles of vengance the battle brothers of the Crimson Knights made planetfall. Massive Orbital bombardment followed by drop pod, teleportation, and thunderhawk drop strikes. The primary objective was purging the filthy heretics from the Eternal Fortress, to secure a strong base from which to finish cleansing the planet. First Company Terminators shouldered the task of retaking the Eternal Fortress. The entire company was mobilized for this task, along with the Chapter's Dreadnoughts that had not been in the Eternal Fortress.

 

The second through fifth Companies laid seige to the Eternal Fortress, giving the veteran brothers of the first company the distraction they needed. In success waves the brothers teleported into their home laying waste to their traitorous brethren, and the Death Guard that had taken up residence. In the comms room the Crimson Knights found what was left of Brother Urius's kill team. Upon examination apothocaries found the scouts to be dead, Brother Urius however mortally wounded had used his Susan Membrane to go into stasis, effectivly preserving his life. For his gallantry the saviour of Roma Prime was to be interred into a Dreadnought.

 

The battle of Roma Prime raged on for weeks, with the traitors and Death Guard eventually escaping back into the warp. It is unknown what happened to the few traitourous Crimson Knights, of which only a handfull could have survived.

 

Though the brothers of the Crimson Knights drove the chaos host from the planet it was not them alone who saved it. Ultimatly it was the people of Roma Prime who saved their own world. Working in conjunction with their God-Like brethren to harass the Nurgle host long enough for the main Chapter to arrive and purge them. The people of Roma Prime fought with strength and honor, they fought like warrior poets, they fought like Space Marines.

 

Shame and Redemption:

 

After the battle of Roma Prime Chapter Master Tafarus, along with Master of Sanctity Brother-Chaplain Marian began a reformation of the chapter. Their once vibrant and ornate crimson and golden armor was stripped and painted black, to simultaneously mourn their fallen brothers, and display their shame at their chapter's weakness. Only the cloaks of their officers retain the heriditary crimson of the chapter. The Crimson Knights fight on from their stronghold on Roma Prime which stands strong even after several counter attacks from Death Guard scum, laying waste to the enemies of man, their shame great, but they all fight on to one day be given a sign from the God-Emperor that they are once again worthy to wear the crimson armor that the Emperor gifted them with.

 

Homeworld:

 

The Crimson Knights are the master of Roma Prime. It is a lush world, with a warrior people that follow a chivilric code, much like that of the Crimson Knights. There are annual gladiatorial games, with the most promising youths from each city fighting for a chance to become an aspirant of the Crimson Knights. The mark of Chaos is still on the world from the Death Guard attack so many millenia ago. Though the world stays mostly loyal, there have been cases of Death Guard insurgents trying to gain a foothold on the world. After the battle of Roma Prime the inhabitants of the world have become capable of defending themselves.

 

Organization:

 

The Crimson Knights follow the teachings of the Codex Astartes. They were slightly divergant for some time after losing three reserve companies in the battle of Roma Prime, but have since recouperated their numbers and fight as a codex chapter.

 

Gene Seed:

 

The origins of the gene seed of the Crimson Knights has been lost to time. The gene seed is pure, and all organs are in working order. A testiment to its purity is the rebuilding of the chapter after more than three full companies were lost. Therefore, it is speculated to be of Ultramarines or Dark Angel's stock.

 

Combat Doctrine:

 

The marines of the Crimson Knights are a stoic lot. They say little, and carry out their duty until the bitter end. The chapter is flexible, with all brothers being trained in sword and bolter. The Crimson Knights focus on drop pod assaults, hitting their enemies where it hurts the most with a combination of feirce melee supported by withering firepower.

 

Beliefs:

 

The Crimson Knights acknowledge the greatness of the Emperor, but do not worship him as a god. He is their father, the creater of all space marines, and the greatest and most noble warrior that ever lived. The chapter adheres to a strict warrior code, of strength, loyalty, and honor and call upon the Emperor to see their loyalty and forgive their past shame, not to aid them.

 

Battle Cry:

 

These stoic marines have no uniform battle cry.

[Big Woop]

Not much to complain about, its a well crafted chapter. Though the theme of a melancholic chapter trying to redeem themselves is not the most original. Since the civil war is of great importance, it might be a good idea to expand on it. Maybe the betrayal had some special undertones that would make them stand out a little more? The question of what happened to the civilian population of their homeworld is comes to mind, did they evacuate them or did they leave them to die? If the traitors worshipped a particular chaos god, that could mean the chapter would have a special grudge against that god. Just a few suggestions.

[Ferrata]

Like Big Woop said, the civil war does detract from the chapter. What you have written is good, but the problem is that a large number of chapters have a similar story line, and your chapter has nothing to set it apart from all of these other chapters. Why is a third of the chapter turning traitor important to your chapter, what does it do for them? Does that need to happen for the chapter to be them?

 

Once masters of the lush and beautiful world of Roma Prime, the world was destroyed by exterinatus during the chapter's civil war. Now the Crimson Knights call their fleet home striking at their enemies from their battle barges and strike cruisers.

Another common storyline, why is this important to the chapter? Why can't they keep their homeworld?

 

The Crimson Knights are notibly divergent from the Codex Astartes. The Second through Tenth companies are battle companies, complete with its own Dreadnoughts, armor, and scouts. The First Company is composed of Veteran Battle Brothers, and often deploys support to the other companies. Also since the battle of Roma Prime Chaplains have taken over most of the leadership of the chapter, to minister to their brothers and prevent another tragedy such as Varrus's betrayal. Also as a result of Varrus's betrayal, the chapter no longer trains Librarians

Why have the turned away from the Codex? You could go for they are an old chapter, so the codex was not as strong as it is now, but why have they strayed?

 

The origins of the gene seed of the Crimson Knights has been lost to time. The gene seed is pure, and all organs are in working order. A testiment to its purity is the rebuilding of the chapter after more than three full companies were lost. Therefore, it is speculated to be of Ultramarines or Dark Angel's stock.

What does this add to the chapter? Why can't they just be Ultramarine sucessor?

[Commissar Molotov]

Ferrata's got a point. If you go back through the Liber you'll see that a lot of DIYers have tried to decide how to remove Librarians from their armies. A lot of them take the 'Librarian lead a portion of the chapter to chaos' route. Whilst it can happen (and I blame Dawn of War for embedding the idea in the collective conscience of the community) you have to consider that Space Marine Librarians are incredibly strictly controlled and it's terribly rare. And it sort of turns your chapter from something with a lot of cool potential into something that people see as being terribly generic.

 

My Castigators have no Librarians but that's because the planet they recruit from viciously exterminates all mutants psykers - no psykers make it into the induction phase for the chapter. Of course this hatred for mutants has become deeply set into the psyche of the chapter.

 

But why not try something unique - perhaps initiates that show psychic ability are handed over to the Inquisition for whatever the Inquisition wants, whilst the chapter gets something in return? Use your imagination, throw some ideas around, and I think you could come up with something incredibly interesting.

[Race Bannon]

The Inquisition ... bah ...

 

The potential-psykers are handed over to the Black Ships of Terra. The psyker-gene is more prevelant on your world so they provide a constant supply to the blessed Emperor. The Chapter has graciously decided not to have psykers in their ranks so that any candidates are lovingly turned over to the His Almighty .. that He may continue to be the beacon of light for the mighty Imperium!!

 

^_^

[Commissar Molotov]

The Black Ships of Terra, run by... ^_^

 

 

.... wait for it...

 

 

.... the Inquisition? :lol:

 

 

I do realise what you mean though, Race. :) As to a chapter 'graciously declining' to use Librarians - I can't see why they'd do that - considering the huge advantages Librarians give to a Space Marine chapter. They're great weapons and they also provide great bonuses in communication and the like.

[Race Bannon]

I really need to stop contributing to this board (or any others) while at work :)

 

Maybe "graciously" was a bad word because a Librarian is an awesome advantage! So when a DIY comes around that takes them away I look forward to the "why". The Black Templars use the best reason in the galaxy and are a template. When someone wants to be original they have to work real hard not to be average. And that is the challenge of DIY Chapters. Ok, I'm preaching to the choir now ... ^_^

 

Hopefully, any ideas are helping to shape the Chapter. :lol:

[Darrell]

You could always go the other way. Instead of having a planet chock-full of psykers, why not have a planet where the psyker gene is, strangely, completely absent?

 

This could result in a lot of questions. Why, in the entire Imperium of a human genepool which is bubbling and rippling constantly, does this planet seem to have such a stable genepool? Are they protected from many Warp attacks because of this? Or does it make them more susceptible as they have no one trained that can see the daemons, or predice their actions, et cetera.

 

I don't recall anyone else taking this particular view on it, so in that respect at least you would be fairly unique. The Chapter recruits specifically from its homeworld, and since its homeworld has no psykers, the Chapter has none to pull from to form into Librarians. They would turn down any offers of psykers from other places, since obviously their homeplanet's population is far stronger and far more adept than some other weaker planet's.

 

Just an idea.

[Mystery Man]

modified the fluff some, trying to make it more original good feedback guys I appreciate it, keep it up =) tell me how the changes work out.

[Commissar Molotov]

It is perhaps fitting that it's a huge mystery why the reserve companies followed the 'evil lord Varrus'. There seems to be no reasoning behind it. It just makes it flat, bland and unappealing. Why should we care? :blush: Yawn...

 

This is perhaps the biggest event in your chapter's history. Detail it a bit. Why did they turn? What did the surviving loyalists do? Perhaps there was an almightly last stand as the loyalists fought to get a message out to their compatriots. Did the populace fight at all? Perhaps the scattered loyalists commanded groups of citizens against the Nurglites - Roma Prime's gladiatorial warriors joining their God-like brethren in the desperate defense of their homeworld?

 

Just use your imagination. ;)

[Big Woop]

It appears they have been trying to redeem themselves for a very long time. Are they perhaps too perfectionist, or are they trying to complete an impossible mission(such as exterminating the death guard)? An unexpected plot twist could be that they finally consider themselves redeemed and forgiven by the emperor(which might cause trouble because some puritanical brothers disagree), or something like that.