gyulkus chaos saurus Posted June 26, 2006 Share Posted June 26, 2006 Swords of Jaghatai Origins The Swords of Jaghatai are a white scars successor chapter, though they seem to be much more civilized than the white scars and their other successors. In fact, the swords are one of the few chapters that Worship the emperor as a god, and have an extreme hatred for traitors and heretics that would deny the emperors divinity. As a result, the white scars are often found working alongside inquisition forces destroying cults of chaos and cleansing traitorous worlds. The war with the great devourer When Hive fleet Leviathan attacked the Imperium, A large fleet of Tyranids was sent to Lavon, the Swords home world. Fully 7 brotherhoods of the Swords of Jaghatai were on the world at that time, while the 1st, 3rd, and 7th Brotherhoods were crusading against the Tau. When the hive fleet was detected on the edge of the system, the Swords of Jaghatai were unable to call for help due to the Tyranids psyker blocking abilities. The Swords of Jaghatai fought for months, with no assistance or way to re-supply. Eventually the Swords Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/90408-ia-knights-of-jaghatai-updated/ Share on other sites More sharing options...
Grimdarkness Posted June 27, 2006 Share Posted June 27, 2006 It's a good start but the combination of the white scars background with a knightly theme doesn't sit right with me. You might consider a raven wing based chapter for the knight theme or a more feral society for the white scars feel. Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/90408-ia-knights-of-jaghatai-updated/#findComment-1040226 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Darrell Posted June 27, 2006 Share Posted June 27, 2006 How is your Chapter knightly? You seem to stress these qualities in your article, yet don't elaborate. Do they have courts? Do they have chivalry? Do they have a thing for dragons and princesses? You don't really explain how they are like knights, and indeed from what you have said they seem exactly like White Scars. They use Brotherhoods, they have a lot of fast attack units. What about their homeworld, Lavon? Now that it has been scoured by Tyranids, it's a lifeless hunk of rock without an atmosphere. Did the Chapter just decide to stay because it was their homeworld? Did they want to remain close to the Tau enemies? How do they deal with a lack of ready supplies in the way of food and water? Now they have no populace to recruit from; do they go looking for recruits from other planets? Are there planets relatively close-by? If so, how did they escape the Tyranid onslaught to avoid Lavon's fate? The Chapter was reduced to a mere three Companies, how have they done in terms of rebuilding themselves? They lost their Scout company, so all their recruits are gone, and their homeworld has been wiped of life. That would seem to indicate they would have a very large problem with finding new recruits to fill their ranks back up. Being reduced to a 1/3 of what they were is quite devastating, I would imagine, especially when you lost the recruits that would be necessary to build back up, as well as the source of those recruits. Why do people think they are of different geneseed that those of Jaghatai? I mean, their name is Knights of Jaghatai. It seems common knowledge that they are of White Scars geneseed. Why would people think otherwise? There would have to be good reason to think that the Imperium's records of the Chapter could be so wrong. How does this vague, semi-mystery add to your Chapter? It seems like just a way to make them seem more different and mysterious, which I think detracts from your idea rather than enhancing it. I would try outlining their "knightly" traits, and going into depth about them. That would be a better way to set them apart rather than just saying "People think the geneseed might be from another Chapter, or blended with another geneseed source". They use Brotherhoods like the Scars, but do they also have Stormseers? Khans? A Great Khan? Going more in-depth will help flesh your Chapter out a lot more and help make it an idea all its own. Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/90408-ia-knights-of-jaghatai-updated/#findComment-1040241 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Commissar Molotov Posted June 27, 2006 Share Posted June 27, 2006 Well, actually Darrell has said just about everything I was going to say. The whole concept of 'being Knightly' - what do you mean by it? What I think you seem to mean is that the Knights of Jaghatai are remarkably civilised for a White Scars successor, which belies the feral nature of their gene-seed? It's certainly interesting; the KoJ are almost the White sheep of the White Scars family. B) I do think you should perhaps drop the question of their gene-seed. There's few in the Imperium who would know to question such things - also, anyone who would question such things would probably get attacked for the KoJ for questioning their heritage - you're effectively taking a Space Marine chapter, steeped in Millennia of lore, heraldry, honour and the like, and calling them bastard-children. They're too proud to take that lying down. :) So perhaps drop it. Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/90408-ia-knights-of-jaghatai-updated/#findComment-1040380 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Race Bannon Posted June 27, 2006 Share Posted June 27, 2006 Were Tau discovered before Hivefleet Leviathan? Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/90408-ia-knights-of-jaghatai-updated/#findComment-1040724 Share on other sites More sharing options...
gyulkus chaos saurus Posted June 28, 2006 Author Share Posted June 28, 2006 Updated it, and yes the tau were discovered before leviathan. Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/90408-ia-knights-of-jaghatai-updated/#findComment-1041742 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Commissar Molotov Posted June 29, 2006 Share Posted June 29, 2006 Hey, Gyulkus. Your second draft has improved by miles. The 'Swords of Jaghatai' are certainly getting a better grounding in the fluff. What is it that makes them so 'civilised' compared to other White Scars? Considering that they would have been founded by White Scars, and they don't recruit from the most civilised planet in the galaxy. What's happened to change their character? Also, why do they worship the Emperor as a god? These things aren't necessarily bad for your chapter, they just need a little more detail so your chapter has more background. One thing, perhaps change 'A large fleet of Tyranids was sent to Lavon' to 'A large fleet of Tyranids descended upon Lavon' - simply because, whilst the Tyranids are given instructions by the Overmind, it seems wrong to describe them as sentient in the way that you'd hear a Daemon Primarch dispatching an eradication force. How has the destruction of their homeworld affected the Swords? It's a pretty big deal, but there's no real mention of it. I think it's pretty much essential to detail it. Be careful though, because a lot of DIYers have their homeworld destroyed. Are they in pennance? Ashamed at the loss? Angered to the extent that they've changed their combat doctrine? Are they more stoic than you might expect, biding their time to build their forces and exact revenge? Perhaps they do what they can to stop other worlds being devoured, knowing what it meant to them? Just give that a bit of thought and I think you'll be well on your way. ;) Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/90408-ia-knights-of-jaghatai-updated/#findComment-1041806 Share on other sites More sharing options...
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