Puppet Master Posted July 16, 2006 Share Posted July 16, 2006 EDIT: A bit more better I hope Name: Iron Eyes Name Post-Betrayel: Geneseed: Iron Hands Founding: 12th Chapter symbol: A eye mounted upon a cog Chapter colours: Bronze with gold trim Homeworld: Mercuis Organisation: 12 companies, 1st veteran, 12th scout. Belief: They see the emperor as merely a great man and nothing more. They believe firmly in the cut of the machine god, and deny any suggestion that the two beings are one and the same. It is said that there is also a strong link with the cult of the dragon on mars. Origins The chapter was created during the 12th founding, and led by chapter master Angres Bogir, whp originally came from the Iron Hands. Homeworld Homeworld The world of Mercuris is located in the ------------ sector. (not to sure what sector to place it). Known as a volcanic deathworld in at least half the landsmass, the other half is mainly dessert, with only a few places which are habitable by human life. A majority of the fluna and flora, are beasts which have adapted to live in these harsh conditions, and most species have a high amount of metalic elements in tgere blood due to the planets unqiue geology. The planets geology has a high amount of metal within it, and as such has been converted into a forge world due to its plentifal supply of materials. The native peoples of this planet had deveoped steam based technology using the natural heat from the earth, and as such were in a industrail state prior to Imperium influence. When the chapter first arrived on that planet they were named the children of Merrus, the prophecized children of there goddess of invention and knowladge. Who will come from the stars to defeat Mecma Narth the dreaded spider, and dark god of machines. The chapter deduced this cultures beliefs had evolved from early machine god beleifs, and possible necron influence within there history. They used this to gain some control over the peoples of this world, and then went to hunt down the Xenos taint upon this world. The culture of mercuris thrives in over ornametation in its machines which its created, veiwing the godess as there muse as well as there creator. As such they were perfect born artificers and served well when the planet was converted into a forge world. Markings The symbol of there chapter repesents there founder, whose Eyes of Iron gave him great ability to understand machines and comunicate with the machine spirit. Alot of mechanical references can be seen within there armor, like the cog like carvings which made up a large amount of there armor. As a marine progresses within the chapter, the more over decorated the armor becomes. A chapter master of the Iron eyes has his armor decoarted with hundreds of markings and prayers dedicated to the machine goddess cut of the planet. Notes - The cizilization of Mercuris is reminscant of Victorian london. - The fortress monesty of the Iron Eyes is a huge trainstation and forge which organises most operations on the planet, and transports materials from the mines to the various facotries built on the planets surface. - The Iron Eyes are heavily linked with the AM, and send a large quantity of there marines to be trained on mars. - Marines of the Iron Eyes are also great artificers - 2000 years ago half of the chpater was annialted by one of its leading commanders. A being known as Sefvig Alutez sent half the chapter into a literal deathtrap, and into the open arms of the forces of slaanesh. After the betrayel the chapter went into a dramatic reform, they keep there numbers low, yet make sure each soilder makes up for the size of the chapter. Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/91866-index-astartes-iron-eyes/ Share on other sites More sharing options...
Commissar Molotov Posted July 16, 2006 Share Posted July 16, 2006 Well, the biggest problem you're going to run into straight away is that the second-founding chapters of the Iron Hands have been listed as the Brazen Claws and the Red Talons. 'The Legion was split into three separate and individual Chapters. The newly formed Red Talons and the Brazen Claw left their brethren and founded their own fortress-monasteries, since becoming increasingly reclusive. One Chapter retained the name of the Legion, and based itself on Medusa, the home world of their Primarch.' As such, many people are going to have a large problem with your chapter being part of the second founding. Of course, if you make it a later founding it's harder for your chapter's founder to be a battle-brother of Ferrus Mannus. What is it that you'd like to keep of your chapter's character, and what do you feel could be altered? If we know exactly what you're aiming for, we can keep that in mind whilst trying to suggest alternatives. Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/91866-index-astartes-iron-eyes/#findComment-1055914 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ferrata Posted July 16, 2006 Share Posted July 16, 2006 Born from the results of the second founding this chapter prides in its heritage from the Iron Hands. They were trained by the adeptus mechanicus, and thefore there loyalties lie in mars first, and Imperium second. As such they dont follow the Codex AstartesThey can not be a Second Founding chapter as all the 2nd Founding Chapters have been named (besides a few Ultramarine ones). The earliest you can go is Third. The AM don't train chapters, they don't know how too. AM combat is a lot different to Space Combat, so you need to change this. If you want them to by loyal to the AM, you will need to find another way around this. There origins lie within there founder, battle brother to Ferrus himself. His name was Angres, loyal to mars, and loyal to his primarch. It was said that Angres was blind, yet was able to fight many battles. His eyes were always hidden behind a mask, though when it was removed once it was said his eyes were made of solid iron. See above notes about 2nd Founding. As Ferrus was lost during the Heresy, so he would not have been able to fight along side any Battle Brother of the 3rd Founding. You really do need to answer how he was able to see. Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/91866-index-astartes-iron-eyes/#findComment-1055922 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Puppet Master Posted July 16, 2006 Author Share Posted July 16, 2006 There are two things I am trying to do with this chapter, one is it kinda mirrors my slaanesh army lead by the demon prince sefvig, who will influence there mindset in recent years. With the founder, I am trying to create a kind of mythology behind him. The only image I have for him so far is the eyes of iron and that he himself was a great artifcer. I would like the iron eyes to be somehow linked to ferrus hands.....though I dont want to mess around with esatblished fluff. I am willing to sacrifice the battle brother thing if I can find an alternate way for him to gain his eyes. The chapters mindset prior to Sefvigs bettrayel was highly ornamental, there machines they created were very steeped in detail and they also were obsessed with knowladge and the perfecting humanity. There mindset was similar to Iron hands in the way they considered the flesh is weak, though in some ways viewed machine not just as a way to strengthen, but as a way to perfect. Thats all I can think of so far. EDIT: With the eye thing I want to imply possible necron taintm as is implied with ferrus hands. Though I am not to sure how to expand the eye thing more. With the AM cant train thing....=/....need new idea I guess to get around this now i guess Founded on the world known as Mercuris. A volcanic deathworld of rivers of liquid metal endlessly burning, and desserts that stretched as far as the eye could see. There was very few habitble areas on this world, and a large amount of the poulation lived below the ground in mines, or in towns crowded around the few sources of water there were on the planet. ........a few more notes I am thinking of, I also am thinking of a cizilization trapped in a kind of steampunk neo victorian style, whih also sits well with the chapters over omentation. :) No replies....is my fluff that bad Any more ideas which I can improve my idea? Edit: a bit more info Name: Iron Eyes, Eyes of Steel, ....still deciding Geneseed: Iron Hands Founding: either 6th or 12th Chapter symbol: Still deciding Chapter colours: Bronze with gold trim, may change Homeworld: Mercuis (not to sure on what area of the galaxy to place it) Organisation: 12 companies, 1st veteran, 12th scout. Belief: They see the emperor as merely a great man and nothing more. They believe firmly in the cut of the machine god, and deny any suggestion that the two beings are one and the same. It is said that there is also a strong link with the cult of the dragon on mars. The world known as Mercuris was originally reclaimed by the Imperium, due to its unique geology, which has an above normal amount of metal within the planet. There are also interests within it due to rumours of a new type of metal with a high amount of memory, yet at the same time is stronger then most conventinal metals used by the imperium. As such this world was orginally consdiered as a resource world. The worlds population seem to be locked within an industrial revolution stage, reminiscent of victorian britain. During period -----(need dates to foundings)------ Angres Ferruts, a lord commander of the Brazen Claws or another founding chapter crash landed due to a passing warp storm. There ships unrpariable, they tried to make cntact with the peoples on this world. The people of this world considered them the children of Merrus, there goddess, and there muse. A being they called the spirit of invention, it was deduced by the company that this was an alteration of the machine god faith which had been altered over the many years. The cultures on this world were fine builders, and great artists, crafting machines decorarted with great detail and finary, each one like an artificer of mars. They recruited the peoples help, so they could repair there ships and communcations equipment, though they said the strongest had to prove themselves and destroy the machine demon they named Mechma Narth, the great spider, master of the dessert sands. Angres took te challenge upon himself, and marched deep into the dessert which covered one thirdof the planets landmass. Days soon became weeks, surving on the native species that crawled around in the sands. On the 36th solar passing he came to a great temple, and then he heard the moving of sands, and a great being the size of a reaver titan rose from the sands, constructed not of organic but of pure metal. He fought it for many days, with him losing more and more strngth each second that passed. Yet with the spider losing no strength at all. (need to deduce way he beat it, and got iron eyes). Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/91866-index-astartes-iron-eyes/#findComment-1055925 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Severus6 Posted July 17, 2006 Share Posted July 17, 2006 No,...your stuff isnt bad, just a bit over the top. The planets make up and description is fine. The people and their culture and beliefs are within reason. The biggest problem I have with this, and granted this is just me, I really cant see a Victorian-esque mid-industrial aged culture demanding anything from a group of Space Marines. Especially, the go out and fight a Reaver Titan sized spider made of living metal, sort of request. A suggestion would be that somehow that these people, this culture, has seen and dealt with in small instances throughout their history Necron technology and creatures. It has grown into and a part of their religion. The arrival of your Chapter could have been viewed as some sort of prophecy. The Chaplain, Commander, or whoever you choose listens and becomes aware of this strange religion and is able to piece it together using it to their advantage. You could go from there,...just a thought, hope it helps. Severus6 Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/91866-index-astartes-iron-eyes/#findComment-1056282 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Puppet Master Posted July 17, 2006 Author Share Posted July 17, 2006 :blush: opps sorry about that, I guess I did go a bit overboard. I am kinda aiming for some necron influence in this chapters past, in a way the culture of this planet has evolved into a kinda christian outlook on the universe. e.g. goddess as the patron of invetion, and the spider as the devil, and the dark lord of machines. I guess expecting one soilder to destoy a titan esque necron is a bit much =P... worldbuilding has never been my strongpoint, so I am still a little stuck. Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/91866-index-astartes-iron-eyes/#findComment-1056350 Share on other sites More sharing options...
iron father Posted July 17, 2006 Share Posted July 17, 2006 Perhaps Agres, though not a battle brother to Ferrus, was a founding member of a 3rd or 4th founding chapter based on the Iron Hands. As an act of devotion and a test of character, he took a pilgrimage to Medusa to walk on the footsteps of his Primarch, which ended with him finding the pool of molten metal and gaining his eyes. Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/91866-index-astartes-iron-eyes/#findComment-1056480 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Severus6 Posted July 17, 2006 Share Posted July 17, 2006 That or it could be as simple as having two bionic eyes shaped in a way that would make the individual that much more intimidating. Something master crafted that maybe resembled snake eyes or something like that. Just a suggestion,... Severus6 Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/91866-index-astartes-iron-eyes/#findComment-1057010 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Puppet Master Posted July 20, 2006 Author Share Posted July 20, 2006 That or it could be as simple as having two bionic eyes shaped in a way that would make the individual that much more intimidating. Something master crafted that maybe resembled snake eyes or something like that. Just a suggestion,... Severus6 I guess that might be the best way. as it is getting hard making so much fluff. One idea I was thinking of now is using an official chapter and expanding them, maybe using the steel confessors....yet wiki is not sure if they are offical or not, anyone want to confirm? If I used the steel confessors what I might do is make the fluff more small and sweet, use Severus6 idea of the bionic eyes, and say that the 1st chapter is a special group known as the Iron Eyes of Angres. Who in the days of old acted as his elite guard, as spies and assasins, and warriors. When he passed away the name was contiuned to be used and the Iron Eyes are therfore the most dreaded of the Steel Confessors chapter. They founded there homeworld in -----(no idea what period)------ on Mercuris, and noted it of interest because of its unique geogoly, they discovered they had an odd machine based religion, and discovered possible necron taint, after a long battle they destroyed the tomb and the spider which plauged the people for centuries. Though during the battle Angres eyes were pierced by the titanesque tomb spider losing his sight, living metal pierced his sockets driving him mad. Eventually after many weeks bionic eyes where used to replace the ones lost. The man was noted as forver different, some noted this was because he looked deep into the dark nemesis of machines itself. His glare became cold and harsh and strick terror into those who looked into his eyes. The world became the home of the Steel confessors, and the people of Mercuris became prime conponents in the establishing of forgeworld which the world was converted into. Though the people of Mercuris have been intergrated into the Imperium now, some of there strange beliefs remain, especially the view of the machine god as female, seeing her as the machine mother. The AM have allowed this to pass due to the amount of weapons they produce. The Organisation of the Steel confessors is split into 12 chapters, a number used because of its symetry and its origins within clockwork and machines, it repersents order and balance, and therfore is a number they treasure. The fortress monestry is known as Grand Central, and is the controlling hub of Mercuris, for it is not just the home of the chapter, but also serves as a giant trainstation which controls the transportaion of materails to factories, and weapons to docks. Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/91866-index-astartes-iron-eyes/#findComment-1059445 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ferrata Posted July 21, 2006 Share Posted July 21, 2006 The problem about using the Steel Confessors is that they already have a fair amount of background behind them (I think an entire poorly written IA), so a lot of your ideas would be breaking that IA. I would stick to your own chapter. Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/91866-index-astartes-iron-eyes/#findComment-1059998 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Puppet Master Posted July 24, 2006 Author Share Posted July 24, 2006 Still wip, but is this an imprvement on the last version? Name: Mechanicus Custodis (Machine Guardians) Geneseed: Iron Hands Founding: 12th Chapter symbol: Eye mounted upon a cog Chapter colours: Black, with red and gold trim. Silver weapons Homeworld: Mercuris Organisation: 12 companies, 1st veteran, 12th scout. Battlecry: Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/91866-index-astartes-iron-eyes/#findComment-1062054 Share on other sites More sharing options...
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