Jacobius

Recovering their fallen brother Astartes, the Decimators felt their duty to destroy the Chalice Knights had been done, the traitor Astartes having splintered into small warbands as they fled into the warp rift before it closed. However, The Decimators were dismayed to discover that the body of Chapter Master Harmun was lost to them, having followed the demon prince into the warp. All that remained of Harmun was his mighty Thunder Hammer and his helm, which had been knocked aside in the battle against the Daemon Prince. Recovering these items of wargear with a reverence for Harmun’s achievement in fulfilling his oath, the Decimators returned to the remnants of Kairus to choose their new leader and prepare for their next action. Deciding that Kairus was lost to them as a base of operations, the Decimators, under the orders of their new Chapter Master, began the preparations to become a fleet based chapter, utilising Kairus’ now desolate surface as a place to train the recruits they would need and its Fortress Monastery as a crypt for the bodies of their fallen warriors. As the chapter regained its strength and reflected upon the horrific events of the Desolation, the Decimators became wary of those descended from the Blood Angels’ Primarch, Sanguinius as they were now convinced the flaws within the Blood Angels’ geneseed were a major weakness that could be utilised by the ultimate enemy of the Imperium, the forces of Chaos. This wariness also flowed on to a mild distrust of other chapters who had descended from what the Decimators regarded as “flawed and impure” gene-seed, including the sons of Vulkan and Corax. In more recent centuries after the Desolation, the Decimators have faced the forces of Chaos again and again, as they seek to purge any trace of its twisted mutations and weaknesses from the Imperium’s worlds. Their location within the Segmentum Obscurus has also seen the chapter face the numerous Black Crusades the Despoiler has unleashed since their founding. The Decimators always committed their entire chapter strength against the Chaos armies during these crusades. The greatest and most hard fought defence the Decimators participated in was the 12th Black Crusade, when Abaddon’s forces emerged into the Gothic Sector, the region the Decimators’ protect. The chapter suffered heavy losses, but their duty in cleansing the region of the forces of Chaos was achieved with the aid of their fellow loyal Astartes chapters and the further armies and Ordos of the Imperium. The Decimators have now developed their combat methodology to specifically counter the power armoured forces of the Traitor Legions. A small bit more, hopefully more tonight, assuming I can still move/think after the gym :woot: Again, read carefully, some changes are very minor. -J-

Models are looking good :tu: IF or UM seem to fit best in terms of fluff, although those Shadow Wolves hurt my eyes :devil: -J-

Sorry I haven't done more, I'll have a go at the rest tomorrow, work and kid and getting sick got in the way... -J-

Not sure how to do this so I'll break it up into parts which should make it easier for you. Some of the changes are quite subtle, a comma here and there etc. some not so much, so make sure you read closely :) feel free to change anything back you don't like. Decimators We live in a universe of apathy, greed, corruption and power, where xenos attack our every front and heretics attack from within. When it seems that all chance of mankind enduring is lost, there is hope, there is courage, honour and justice to protect humankind. For we are the Decimators, we are the sons of Ferrus Manus and we are the hammer that strikes against the anvil of war, forging our victories. We cleanse the xenos, purge the heretic and eradicate all who attempt to destroy us. May our enemies fear our name, for we are their destruction! Chapter Master Fernos during the siege of Garosh. The Decimators have a long history of executing justice upon the enemies of the Imperium. Forged from the gene-seed of one of Ferrus Manus’ successor chapters, the Brazen Claws, the Decimators were Raised up to be a great hammer to strike against and annihilate the enemies of mankind. Raised during the 17th founding, the young chapter was trained in the Segmentum Obscurus by their parent chapter in battles against the Eldar and Orks. Captain Anton Grevius of the Brazen Claws’ 3rd Company was bestowed the honour of becoming the leader of a new chapter, his blunt and direct style of warfare being key to building the Decimators’ battle doctrine over its growth as a chapter. After just over half a century under their parent chapter’s tutelage, The Decimators had built up their numbers and resources to become a fully fledged chapter with the strength of five Companies. To fully declare the chapter independent, Chapter Master Grevius declared a campaign against Ork Warboss ‘Eadcruncher’s building Waaagh!, which had begun to plague the Imperial worlds of the Nexus Ring. Leading his chapter as an example of heavy hitting annihilation, Grevius and his Decimators destroyed ‘Eadcruncha’s Orks with devastating ease. This doctrine grew into the Decimators’ most favoured method of war, using overwhelming brute force to utterly annihilate a foe. Stiving for perfection, the chapter would not declare their most righteous work done until every last enemy they faced had been eradicated. Crusade after crusade, the Decimators proved their aptitude and skill as the Emperor’s avenging angels of war. But, like all chapters of the Adeptus Astartes, the Decimators also learnt harsh lessons during their history which would shape their outlook on warfare. The greatest lesson being the loss of their homeworld, Kairus at the hands of those who were once allies. The Desolation of Kairus Chalice Knights: The Chalice Knights had descended from the geneseed of Sanguinius’ Blood Drinkers. The Decimators had worked alongside the chapter in a number of key campaigns within the Segmentum Obscurus against a variety of foes, both Xenos and Chaos. The two chapters had a close bond for over two millennia prior to the Desolation, aiding each other when required and sharing their knowledge of current threats to the Segmentum Obscurus. The Chalice Knights’ betrayal, falling to Chaos and eventually to Khorne, cut the Decimators deeper than any blow an enemy could inflict, leading to great changes in the outlook of the sons of Ferrus on the inhabitants of the Imperium of Man. The fall of the Decimators’ home planet, referred to as the “Desolation” occurred at the start of the 874.M36, whilst a large force of the Chapter, including a large amount of its command staff was engaged in the retaking of the Calanus Gulf from an Ork incursion, leaving the Fourth and Seventh Company, alongside the Scout Company to guard and protect their world. When the expedition force that was sent to the Maratim Gulf returned, they discovered to their horror that their home system was ravaged and desolate, Kairus itself scoured clean of all life. Were they both supposed to be Maratim gulf? If so, replace second mention with “When the expedition force returned…” As the shocked and battle-weary fleet searched through the wreckage of a space battle above Kairus, it was clear that their planetary guardian force was destroyed by renegade Space Marines, a force that the Decimators had once regarded as allies. Discovering the distinctive black chalice symbol in front of an eight-pointed star upon the enemy ships, it was insurmountably clear to the chapter that their brother chapter and ally in campaigns past, the Chalice Knights, had turned their back upon the Imperium. Stunned to near the point of despair, Chapter Master Harmun ordered his Chapter to investigate the ruins of the Decimators’ fortress monastery. Mercifully, the chapter’s geneseed vault had been left intact, its hidden location deep underground protecting it from the destruction above. For the three companies guarding Kairus however, the same could not be said; each and every corpse had been desecrated and robbed of their geneseed. Enraged by this callous act, Harmun declared that the Decimators would engage in a crusade to find and eradicate every trace of the Chalice Knights from the galaxy to avenge the loss of the Decimators’ battle brothers and the inhabitants of their homeworld and that he himself would slay the leader of the Chalice Knights. Reporting the heresy of the Chalice Knights and recovering whatever they could from their planet, the Decimators began their crusade to purge all traces of the now traitor chapter. Over the next century, the Decimators searched for and destroyed any trace of wherever the Chalice Knights had been. The now renegade chapter leaving increasingly frenzied assaults upon planetary systems as they began aligning themselves to the Blood God, Khorne. The two former allies, now hated enemies, eventually faced each other in full force, ironically, within the Maratim Gulf, where the Decimators were located when Kairus fell. The sheer hatred and righteous fury the loyalist Decimators brought to bear eventually overwhelmed and defeated the bloodthirsty, frenzied attacks of the Chalice Knights. The chaos renegades were dealt a final blow upon the planet of Grimhold, where Chapter Master Harmun finally faced off against the Daemon Prince that now led the once honourable and loyal Chalice Knights. Engaging each other in singular combat as the battle raged around them, Harmun eventually felled the Daemon Prince with his mighty Thunder Hammer, at the cost of his own life as the Daemon Prince speared its warped blade through both of the Chapter Master’s hearts in a final hate filled strike. As the Daemon Prince was cast back into the warp, the few still sane remnants of the Chalice Knights began to fall back towards the small rift the death of their master had created as the body was sucked back into the realm of Chaos, knowing that the battle was lost and more slaughters awaited them in the future. -J-

First things first, my understanding of BAs may be incomplete or flawed so don't take my word for it ;) Secondly, I'm not trying to discourage you from using BAs if that's what you want, you just need stronger fluff justification IMHO As to the last point, what I was trying to say is that you've picked BAs with all their flaws, then you've gone for the AV who have some of those flaws 'fixed' in the sense that they are not famous for drinking blood or losing it in battle etc. then you've added another flaw back on with the Sleeping Beauties (hope that doesn't ruin the image for you :) ) Now, if it's a rules/equipment thing you're interested in that should be easy to fluff out so it makes sense for your army ( I-can't-believe-it's-not-Death-Company Death Company might be a stretch) "Hey guys do you remember those Lucifer whatsits those crazy red dudes had on that last mission we did? Wouldn't it be wicked cool if we had some? What say next time brother Fedex is putting in an order for more equipment we ask for some?" See? Problem totally solved... If its the assaulty murder face bit you like you can work that in without BA geneseed. SW and WS have pretty awesome murder faces but don't drink anywhere near as much blood. EDIT: I should add that I'm not suggesting SW and WS are the only options. They're examples of heavy assault doctrine because they're bloodthirsty savages with uncivilized notions of how a war should be fought. It's all about the fluff really. -J-

First question that came to mind, why did you pick BA? Pale-skinned, dark-haired, bloodthirsty, berserker-vampires to portray the clean cut, extremely human (humanity's "humanness", mundane, plain-jane-not-especially-strong-or-advanced "humanness" was crucial to the story) Alliance? Why not UM or IF? To put it another way, what do you get by making the BA's something that, traditionally, they're not (i.e. "The Astartes of the Angels Vermilion, however, were notably untroubled by their affliction, or perhaps simply aloof. Either way, they had never allowed any mutation to impede them from carrying out the Emperor's will...") when you have other geneseed that could work just as well? Without knowing the effect you're trying to get from selecting BA geneseed it's hard to know if BA geneseed is necessary. Just read the geneseed bit, did you pick BA's because they're already so flawed? It seems to me you'd be better off picking a geneseed that fits the flavour of the Alliance a bit better and then introducing the defect to that rather than picking a geneseed that's flawed, fixing the flaws and then introducing a new one, if that makes sense? I'll have another read in the next couple of days and let you know if I come up with anything else. -J-

Some minor things, You repeat the thing about descendants of sanguinius and subhumans twice, it prolly only needs to be said once. There are a heap of minor grammatical things and some clunky sentences that can be cleaned up to make it a bit easier to read. I can give you a hand with that when I get home tonight or this weekend if you like? Currently typing on my phone on a train or I'd do it now -J-

How about something small but mean? Wolverine and Mongoose are the two that come to mind. Stoat, Polecat or Weasel might also be good. Lynx or Bobcat being smallish cats? Ratel is a good one but the name doesn't have the best ring to it. You could call them Quolls but maybe nobody would know what that is? -J-