IA: Soul Wardens [notes]

[Ferrus Manus]

Index Astartes: Arctic Lions

C

reated during the 38th millennium the Arctic Lions have fought in countless wars, both to preserve the Emperor's realm and for the glory of their primarch. They protect the region of space known as the Gates of Varl. It is here that they continuously fight the barbaric Orks from the surrounding worlds. It is from this that their greatest hatred springs...

Origins

Since their founding, the Arctic Lions have gained a reputation for being cold, heartless killers who have no regrets in killing one million innocents just to see a single traitor dead. It is only their brother Astartes who feel no fear while fighting along side the Chapter, as they have been known to kill any who they believe to be weak and unworthy of their service. Often have they been at odds with other Imperial organisations such as the Imperial Army and the Inquisition for their actions towards such administrations, when they have summarily executed officers for crimes including cowardice and heresy, even when limited evidence has been found.

It was during the thirty-eighth millennium that the High Lords of Terra declared a new founding of Space Marine chapters. The Arctic Lions Chapter was created from the geneseed of the holy primarch Ferrus Manus. They were gifted with a hatred of all weakness and all things alien. To them was sent Julian Rycius, honoured captain of the Warriors Eternal Chapter, a man who despised weakness, more so than many of his Chapter. Rycius was a focused man whose sole purpose was to serve the Emperor. However, he was dark and an isolated man who rarely spoke with his brother in the Warriors Eternal, but he was an undoubtedly great leader. It was being so distant from his brothers, but still possessing the ability to lead, that the Warriors Eternal chose him to lead the new chapter.

He trained and raised the Chapter in the ways of the warrior, teaching them to excel in long ranged assaults and heavy weapons - as it was with their parent Chapter. The Chapter crusaded around the Imperium for nearly one hundred years, fighting the enemies of the Imperium in some of the galaxies Edited October 29, 2008 by Ferrus Manus

[Severus6]

Interesting, but I offer these suggestions:

 

Sharks are methodical killers, patience being a human term, it definately adhers to this concept. I like the idea of them being cold blooded but you seem to leave out any reference of them being anything but that. I would think that your boys would place a great deal of interest of understanding an enemy before they attack. Sort of like a big Mako or Hammerhead,....just cruising out there on the fringes until it knows,....instinctively knows when the time is right to strike.

 

You might even let the enemy see you cruising just out of range but definately there,...just to let the "fear" set in.

 

Additionally (and please take this with a "grain of salt" as it is nothing more than a pet peeve of mine) I know that your group comes from an Arctic world but do you think you need that in the name? Dont get me wrong, I like the shark concept; its great but I would suggest these at least:

 

Warp Sharks (This is my favorite of the three; I can just see these guys in grey and white power armor.)

Ether Sharks

Imperial Sharks

 

Finally I see these guys as a Fleet based Chapter (I just skimmed your IA, you may already have this.), with a name like "Sharks" how could you not be?

 

Severus6

Edited September 22, 2007 by Severus6

[Ferrus Manus]

Thanks Severus6, i just so happens that what you have mentioned about the combat doctrine is the sort of thing i was going for, but as for the name, i wanted something that reflected on their hmewrold and doctrines so i'm going to keep it.

[battle captain corpus]

Seeing as you took the time to read my Shadow Ravens fluff I'd be happy to return the favour Ferrus Manus! :o

I like it all, a lot! :D

The aspirants are taken into a room, passing an arch inscribed with the chapter

Edited September 22, 2007 by battle captain corpus

[Codex Grey]

The aspirants are taken into a room, passing an arch inscribed with the chapter’s doctrine on induction: ‘Anger is a killing thing: it kills the man who angers, for each rage leaves him less than he had been before - it takes something from him.’ A Librarian and Chaplain greet them, then the Chaplain gauges their warrior spirits while the librarian forces them to relive their worst memories – generally of a battle, which resulted of a massacre against them. Some aspirants are driven insane by the strength of the emotion, others who survive are strengthened by it, but they lose part of themselves. The chapter believe that this process known as ‘the Parting’ helps the aspirants remove or suppress emotions that are unneeded by warriors.

This is very similar to 'the clerearing'. Nothing wrong with that, but why did Captain Rycius move away from the traditional ceremony? You should explain it further, and maybe even tell the reader that this is similar, and what the differences is between this and the Warriors Eternal. I mean if your gonna keep them as the parent Chapter.

 

Hope that was clear, I'm abit short of time right now.

[Ferrus Manus]

Yeah I will do some explaining, i how you didn't mind it being similar its just with being a successor chapter i thought it would and it sounds cool!

 

EDIt: I've added a little bit it will develop when i've got a bit more time. More to come soon...

 

BTW Codex hows your IA coming along?

Edited September 22, 2007 by Ferrus Manus

[Serif]

I enjoy "The Parting" ritual, it makes an interesting use of the Chappy and Libby's talents. I have to agree with Severus on the name though, it lacks the poetic and seems ...um...looking for a word here..... cartoonish? I mean... picture a shark swimming around in ice is like seeing a polar bear sunbathing in Hawaii.

 

Hunters of Ursrik

Ursrik's Teeth

Frostbite

Ursrik Sharks

Arctic Stalkers

Glacial Predators

Ice Strike

 

I think that the two "Ark" sounds in the same name is what doesn't sit right. But that's just me, you may enjoy the sound play.

 

Cheers

Serif

[Ferrus Manus]

Fair enough i'l change the name heres a list:

 

Arctic Stalkers

Arctic Lions

Glacial Knights (I'm leaning to this one)

Soul Hunters

[wulfgarr]

Go with Glacial Knights.It sounds good when rolling off your tongue.The others just dont sound right for your chapter your creating.

[Serif]

Don't get me wrong... I appreciate the shark imagry, a silent stalker sensing its prey and striking with an unstoppable force, one jaw pins the prey in place and the other strips the flesh of its body. (bottom teeth are curve skewer and upper teeth are serated blades). Sharks indeed are frightening and worthy of fear... maybe look at other languages' names for sharks

[Ferrus Manus]

Thanks Serif i took your advice. I looked at latin and it came up with pistris or pistrix, so maybe Pistrian Knights/ Hunters?

[Codex Grey]

Yeah I will do some explaining, i how you didn't mind it being similar its just with being a successor chapter i thought it would and it sounds cool!

I don't mind it being similar, it actually makes sence that it does since 'the clearing' is so important to the Warriors Eternal, and therefore also very important to Rycius. But it would serve your Chapter's character better to differentiate themselves from mine, which you have also done. I was just saying that it was important to explain why Rycius took a different approach to the ritual. I see that you have done that now too, and that is good. But I think you should explain it even further.

 

The Warriors Eternal view Ferrus Manus as the greatest of all the Primarchs, and the others as subpar. But Rycius, a former WE, ment that Ferrus had emotions that limited him. If you could explain why he had this different view from his former brothers, I think it could add more to your Chapter's character. As for how you can explain it, I'm not sure. Maybe Rycius was a dark and isolated man who rarely spoke with his brother in the Warriors Eternal, but he was an undoubtably great leader. Being so far from his brothers, but still possessing the ability to lead, maybe the WE gave Rycius the responsebility to train the new Chapter because he wasn't as close to his brothers that some of the other canditates were. Maybe Rycius was, in a way, offended? Then he meditated on what direction to take with the new Chapter, and then got a vision or a revelation.

 

Sorry about the ramblings.

 

BTW Codex hows your IA coming along?

Slowly :D

Edited September 22, 2007 by Codex Grey

[Ferrus Manus]

Yeah, iam going to go into detail on Rycius with a sidebar. And i will expalin 'the Parting' more as well... soon.

[Serif]

URSRIK'S JAWS or

 

JAWS of URSRIK

 

i like those... i thought, Jaws was such a corny movie... but I think that Jaws could work... it references the sharks nastiness and pays homage to their home... that's the winner for me!

[Ferrus Manus]

I am goin with the Arctic Lions, its grown on me.

 

EDIT: Changed the Art

Edited September 23, 2007 by Ferrus Manus

[Your account name here]

THe only thing about using an animal name is that it should be tied into the Chapters background somewhere, as a chapters name is their sacred, sacred, object that means all that the chapter is. Some go for Animal names because of their homeworld, or because their chapter master loved that animal and viewed it as stronger than all others. Their are many instances of this out there, such as TigerRaja's Lovely Tigersof Veda. I just think they need to be tied into lions a bit if you are going to use that name.

 

Just my two cents of suggestions.

[Nine_Breaker]

He trained and raised the chapter in the ways of warrior, excelling them in long ranged assaults and heavy weapons.

Why did the first chapter master train his men in long ranged warfare, again? Was this a result of his training with the Warriors Eternal? If so, that much should be pointed out. But I can't see a chapter master doing this on a whim. After all, several opposing forces can whoop Astartes at long range, but up close a marine can use sheer speed, toughness, size, and strength to his advantage. And at middle range, the bolter is about as good as it gets!

[Ferrus Manus]

THe only thing about using an animal name is that it should be tied into the Chapters background somewhere, as a chapters name is their sacred, sacred, object that means all that the chapter is. Some go for Animal names because of their homeworld, or because their chapter master loved that animal and viewed it as stronger than all others. Their are many instances of this out there, such as TigerRaja's Lovely Tigersof Veda. I just think they need to be tied into lions a bit if you are going to use that name.

 

About the Lion thing, i was hoping to add to this in the Organisation section. An aspiring member of the 1st comppany has to slay on of these mighty lions before they are allowed in.

[Codex Grey]

THe only thing about using an animal name is that it should be tied into the Chapters background somewhere, as a chapters name is their sacred, sacred, object that means all that the chapter is. Some go for Animal names because of their homeworld, or because their chapter master loved that animal and viewed it as stronger than all others. Their are many instances of this out there, such as TigerRaja's Lovely Tigersof Veda. I just think they need to be tied into lions a bit if you are going to use that name.

I disargee. Lions often symolize power and strength, which fits perfectly with space marines. Raven Guard don't have a lot of Ravens in their background, Lunar Wolves, as far as I know, didn't have wolves. Animal names sometimes only symbolize one aspect of the Space Marine, without the actual animal being futured heavily on the Chapter's homeworld or something like that. Animalistic names can also describe the way marines fight

[Ferrus Manus]

Added Organisations

[Your account name here]

THe only thing about using an animal name is that it should be tied into the Chapters background somewhere, as a chapters name is their sacred, sacred, object that means all that the chapter is. Some go for Animal names because of their homeworld, or because their chapter master loved that animal and viewed it as stronger than all others. Their are many instances of this out there, such as TigerRaja's Lovely Tigersof Veda. I just think they need to be tied into lions a bit if you are going to use that name.

I disargee. Lions often symolize power and strength, which fits perfectly with space marines. Raven Guard don't have a lot of Ravens in their background, Lunar Wolves, as far as I know, didn't have wolves. Animal names sometimes only symbolize one aspect of the Space Marine, without the actual animal being futured heavily on the Chapter's homeworld or something like that. Animalistic names can also describe the way marines fight

 

 

True about the Luna wolves, but look how they turned out.....

 

And the raven guard do act as the raven, unnoticable, they use black as their colors, and Corax's last words where even, "Nevermore"

 

I never did say that it had to, I just personally believe that they would be better if it did, but I do see your point.

[Grey Hunter Ydalir]

I don't know if its just me, but whenever I look at the symbol on the Marines armour I see the Logo for Lionhead Studios (creators of Fable for the Xbox and Fable: The Lost Chapters for the PC). Not sure if this irks me or not, its just odd to look at. Edited September 26, 2007 by Grey Hunter Ydalir

[Ferrus Manus]

I've changed the chapter's badge. It's supposed to be a roaring lion.

 

To come...

 

- Notable members

-Beliefs.

 

Anything else you think should be included? Maybe an allies and enemies section?

[Grey Hunter Ydalir]

Unfortunately, like the Crucifictors, you have a tendancy to under-write your articles. It needs expanding a fair bit. There is nothing wrong with having the essentials there, but to be all it can be as an interesting read, more information needs to be there. If it's too short it seems like you have given it too little thought, if it's too long then it looks like you have gotten lost in the details. A good balance is often hard to find, but there are a few good examples of it around the boards.

 

The Delphic Order by Prtyjedi (somehow I always read that as 'pertyjelly') is a good example, and has gained a place in the Librarium. Other notable authors are: freej, insanedeano, Dazzo and Brother Cambrius, who have a good length on their articles. Though give or take a bit of leeway for DIY's in development.

 

My personal opinion is leaning towards you needing to at least double what you have here now, if not triple it. Though obviously others can argue against my opinion, it is generally from what I have read so far that dictates what I think is a good overall length to have. Not simply more sub-sections, more information in the ones you have already is what is really needed, same with the Crucifictors.

[Ferrus Manus]

Thanks Ydalir, I'm going back through and extending parts. I've decided to create a section on the Varl crusade, from the origins and maybe one for the Lion Guard. It will get longer, I promise.