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Deathwatch: The Series!


Leethal

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Haha, Betsy. When can we expect some more Leethal?

 

When lady muse strikes me with imagination and will power. Or you know....I get over my hangover and junk. If you're REALLY lucky, possibly before wednesday. If not probably Thursday or Friday

Deathwatch: The Series!

Every Hour, on the Hour!

 

Written by Leethal of B&C

Whenver I feel like it!

 

Thought of the Day: The usuage of the word “Furby” is punishable by painful, slow excruciating death.

-Imperial Decree 170.M31

 

Jun Von Drummond: Greetings, Arch-Fiend Chambers. Do you know where you are?

 

Arch-Fiend: Ugh..my head…where am I?...uhh…what happened…?

 

JvD: Ah yes, the information. Firstly, you are on the Imperial Battleship, the “Emperor’s Can of Whoop-Ass” Secondly, you have consorted with aliens. Thirdly, you have betrayed the Emperor, the Imperium, and renounced your vows as a human being in favor of xenos influence. And lastly, you have been brought to justice by the Holy Inquisition. Any more questions?

 

Arch-Fiend: No! NO! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

 

JvD: Excellent. No more questions, we can commence the interrogation. Let’s play a game first, left hand or right hand? Pick a hand my friend. It’s a game, and I do so enjoy games.

 

Arch-Fiend: The…le…le…the left.

 

JvD: Ah, the feather OF DOOM. Excellent choice, quite possibly one of my more favorite tools of interrogation. Tickle tickle. Muahahahaha!

 

Arch-Fiend: Aaaaaaaaaaaaieee! Stop! STOP! THE HUMANITY!!! AAAAH

 

JvD: Oh stop your caterwauling, I’m not done yet, now tell me the names of your comrades.

 

Elsewhere on the ship

 

Julius Raseac: That’s a lot of screaming…Is this really necessary?

 

Raziel: Ah, music to my ears.

 

Pollux: WHAT?!

 

Raziel: Live in The Rock for a while. All that nonstop screaming, you grow to like it. Mmmm...by the pitch of his scream...I do believe the Inquisitor is giving...yes...the Inquisitor is giving our heretic a wedgie.

 

Hurin Bloodfang: You are a sadistic dress wearing girl. Are you sure you're not one of those slasher fanfiction fangirl in disguise?

 

Raziel: If I was, I'd love you too. And secretly plot your demise...involving knives, flowers, blood, and a small gerbil.

 

Raka Thunderhoof: Shut. Up. I'm trying to concentrate, and that screaming is not really helping me :rolleyes:

 

Ferrus Pollux: Concentrating? Concentrating on what? Trying to unlock more psychic powers? Is piercing glare not good enough for you? Perhaps, you'll pick up something useful. I hear the new Space Marine Codex is out. Why don't you pick a few powers from there?

 

Raka Thunderhoof casts Piercing Glare!

 

Iruel: Stop moving dipwad. I'm trying to install the new bionic hand. Alright...almost...got it...99%...I got this. I got thi-WHAT THE BLOODY HELL?!?! THE BLUE SCREEN AGAIN!? GRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGHHH

 

Howzer Stern: The Blue Screen of Death by Windows Imperialis Edition? Why most of our junk runs on this I don't know. Let alone HOW. Anyways, Look! A scale model of the Golden Throne! If you look real carefully, you can see what was once the continent of Australia!

 

Pio Furnac: Hey, you missed a spot.

 

Howzer Stern: Oh no! Where? I don't see it...

 

Pio Furnac: It's right there, right under your nose.

 

Howzer Stern: I don't see it...point it out for me.

 

Pio Furnac flicks Stern's nose

 

Pio Furnac: RIGHT THERE! HAHAHA!

 

Howzer Stern: WHAT?! BLASPHEMY! PREPARE TO DIE FOR YOUR TREACHERY!

 

Raka Thunderhoof: SHUT THE [bleep] UP! YOU MOTHER [bleep]ING [bleep]ERS [bleep]HEAD! OH HOW I WANT TO [bleep] YOU UP! [bleep] I WILL [bleep] AND [bleep] YOU [bleep] IN THE [bleep]ING FACE AND I WILL THEN [bleep] ON YOUR CORPSE!

 

Hurin Bloodfang: While...the imagery is...shocking and disturbing...chill out bro, kick back. Drink some tequila, maybe go out and dismember some innocents. It's all good.

 

Raka Thunderhoof: No. Shut. Up. Screw this, I'll be in my room. Away from you freaks, and retaining my sanity.

 

Julius Raseac: Hmm...hey guys? Has anyone seen my Limited Edition Collector's Edition of the Codex Astartes, autographed by Roboute Guilliman himself?

 

Hurin Bloodfang: Oh right, I used it as toilet paper.

 

Julius Raseac: Bwu-WHAT?!?!

 

Hurin Bloodfang: I'm just kidding, bro.

 

Julius Raseac: Oh good, I thought it was gone forev-

 

Hurin Bloodfang: Pio and I burned it.

 

Julius Raseac: -ever..........what?.... :(

 

Pio Furnac: Was that what we burned?

 

Howzer Stern: You care about what you burn?

 

Pio Furnac: No, not really. I get paid by the lines. So I just say random stuff.

 

Julius Raseac: So...it's gone? :(

 

Hurin Bloodfang: Yup. Ashes. Gone. Dust. Wait! You get paid?

 

Julius Raseac: I have something in my eyes, I need to go into my room!

 

Pio Furnac: Yeah, I get paid. Don't you guys get paid?

 

Skarr Blackfeather: Hurin, that's messed up. And I get paid.

 

Hurin Bloodfang: Really? You guys get paid?

 

Raziel: Hey guys did hell just freeze over? Oh, I'm sorry, did the Eye of Terror blink? Is a Space Marine crying? How much do you guys get paid? I get 100,000 Imperial Credits a day.

 

Skarr Blackfeather: I get paid 25,000....a week...*Sniff* I...I'm gonna go check on the smurf, make sure he doesn't kill himself........before me.

 

Iruel: 100,000?!?! What the hell? I make 30,000! What the hell?! Something is ...amiss... Two emo marines. That's nice, good thing I'm here for physical health and not for mental, otherwise all of you, would behind bars.

 

Ferrus Pollux: That's nice to know. I can use my acid for something for once in my life. I get paid 1,000 credits everytime I smack the Ultramarine....Raziel where's your money from?

 

Raziel: The Dark Angel miniatures. We get so much GW love, that they forget about some things like...codex updates *ahem*

 

Howzer Stern: Well, I'm going to go blow my 25,000 credit paycheck on some more miniatures! I'll be painting the Golden Throne, later guys!

 

Pio Furnac: Good luck!

 

Howzer Stern: Thanks!

 

Raziel: You're gonna burn it aren't you?

 

Pio Furnac: Oh yeah, no question about it.

 

Hurin Bloodfang: Good, now what's so bloody horrible about what I did? I don't get it?

 

Ferrus Pollux: What if alcohol became illegal in the Imperium?

 

Hurin Bloodfang: I'd cry like a little schoolgir-Ohhhhhh....I get it now. Pfft, whatever. He'll get over it, or kill himself. Either one is fine.

 

Raziel: Uhh...you got the idea at first, and then it just went downwards after that....go put your tail between your legs and go say sorry to the smurf.

 

Hurin Bloodfang: What?! He's a man! I'm a man!...Well genetically enhanced super-man, but nonetheless! Men do NOT need apologies! It ruins our testosterone levels.

 

Raziel: Hurry up and do it. I need to take a bath in my pool of money.

 

JvD: Dark Angel. He is proving to be a tough nut to crack. Care to join me?

 

Raziel : Oh Inquisitor! I just knew you loved me!

 

JvD: Uhh...sure..........go interrogate him.

 

Raziel: Wheeeeeee! I haven't interrogated anyone in ages!

 

Later...

 

Raziel: Greetings. I am...Raziel. Of the Dark Angels...do you know what we do to traitors?

 

Arch-Fiend: NO! NOOOOOO! BRING BACK THE INQUISTOR! I'LL TELL HIM EVERYTHING! OH GOD!!! PLEASEEEEEEE!

 

JvD: Thanks for helping Raziel.

 

Raziel: But I didn't get to cut him....or burn him....or anything :(

 

JvD: Stop crying, if he won't tell me everything, I'll let you play with the scalpel.

 

Raziel: Hooray!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Episode 7 sometime next week. Please continue to send in your submissions for Deathwatch! The Halloween Special and for Season 2 of the series!

 

This is Leethal...............taking a nap in my programming class.

Randomly asked Questions from Readers, in no particularly order!

 

1) Where did the Characters from Deathwatch come from?

 

Well, Raka Thunderhoof was...in essence a cheap knock-off from Lastie's PRIMARCHS's Khan. Raziel...is a random Dark angel. Iruel ...ditto, but ....yeah ditto. Ferrus Pollux, now he's a clever creation, Taking Ferrus Manus the Primarch, I created Ferrus Pollux. As you know, if you translate Ferrus Manus, it means Iron Hand. Ferrus Pollux means Iron Thumb. Hah! See! I too can be clever!

Pio...well I mispelled his last name which was to be "Furnace" but then...Furnac had a nice ring to it, so I didn't bother fixing the error.

Julius Raseac, well Ultramarines are of "Greco-Roman" history,....I think. Anyways, I took the most streotypical name of a Roman that will pop in anyone's head. Julius Caesar. Now I just inverted his last name creating, Raseac. Thus Julius Raseac, the Roman Space Marine.

Skarr.....random. Huring Bloodfang....random. Howzer Stern....random. Yup. Next?

 

2) WHY MUST YOU PICK ON JULIUS SO MUCH?! LEAVE JULIUS ALONE!!!

 

Err.........you're question amuses me....and scares me...and is your capslock key broken? Everyone bashes on the Ultramarines, and...it's just fun to.

 

3) Will you have my babies?

 

Umm...if you are a girl, quite possibly. If you are man, then no.

 

4)Will you create a webcomic from this? Or if someone asked to, would you say yes?

 

While, I probably will not make a webcomic for mental health reasons, if someone asked to do it, and their art style was decent or friggin awesome, I would say yes. Now if it was stick figures.........it depends. Would I get any royalty money?

 

5) I think you should make an episode where EVERYONE including the bad guys to smack Julius on the head! It'd be awesome! Will you do it?

 

Intresting.......very....intresting. I'll think about.

 

6) Are you Lastie's less reknown twin brother?!

 

....no.

 

7) Have you read PRIMARCHS?

 

Yes. I kinda gave up on episode 50 something...after it got....kinda repetitive...like Lost.

 

8) Will there be a Chaos Space Marine Season?!

 

Maybe not a season...but maybe a team of some sorts, for a future episode. Hmm. I should totally do that for something. Hmm, who knows. maybe I will make a season just for them...afterall I am killing off the original cast....

 

9) Seriously, Leethal. Will you have my babies?

 

Umm...girl, maybe. Boy, hell no.

 

10) Leethal should I make a cult in your name, and eventually have a mass murder-suicide pact on the day you stop posting these episodes?

 

Umm...I'm going to introduce you to my friend Inquisitor Bob...he's...uhh going to teach you how to run a cult. Yes....

But seriously, do whatever you want. I just want royalties if you somehow make money.

 

 

Keep sending in random questions, and your Space Marines!

Aaaactually he's got a point. I've read them all, well the one's my PC allows me to read anyway. They're funny, just...trailing off a little... still good stuff mind you :P

 

 

Laughed at the new one alot Leethal :D Brilliant :) I'm looking forward to series 2 :P

Aaaactually he's got a point. I've read them all, well the one's my PC allows me to read anyway. They're funny, just...trailing off a little... still good stuff mind you ;)

 

 

Laughed at the new one alot Leethal :tu: Brilliant :huh: I'm looking forward to series 2 :P

 

REJECTED! I refuse to listen to this heresy!

Ah! I feel the power of the Leethal-Cult overtaking me!!!!

 

If I had a cult, :o I would I guess....

 

Hmm............I'm starting to hate doing the color thingy....Who wants to be peon and do the color thing for me?

 

It means I update faster! :)

REJECTED! I refuse to listen to this heresy!

 

REJECTED!!

 

I am a Shwartz Master you cannot reject me :o And matey, you should always be prepared to except a who isn't a fan of P*R*I*M*A*R*C*H*S. I myself am a fan, however, so rejecting a fan is Herecy of the highest order :)

REJECTED! I refuse to listen to this heresy!

 

REJECTED!!

 

I am a Shwartz Master you cannot reject me :P And matey, you should always be prepared to except a who isn't a fan of P*R*I*M*A*R*C*H*S. I myself am a fan, however, so rejecting a fan is Herecy of the highest order :P

 

Stop hijacking my love thread :o

 

Or I'll NOT update for 2 weeks! :)

 

The taint of Lastie...I can feel it...*takes out phone dials 1-800-Exterminatus* Hi, Inquisitor?

Pio Furnac: Ahahahah! Burn! See Betsy, dress yourself up and you get taken out to nice places!

 

Hmm someone a firefly fan mabey? hehe

 

Nice work there, I would love to see these in web comic form, that would rock, I mean its one thing to read about a smurf gettin smacked upside the head, but to SEE it!! Priceless!

Pio Furnac: Ahahahah! Burn! See Betsy, dress yourself up and you get taken out to nice places!

 

Hmm someone a firefly fan mabey? hehe

 

Nice work there, I would love to see these in web comic form, that would rock, I mean its one thing to read about a smurf gettin smacked upside the head, but to SEE it!! Priceless!

 

Ah, that's it, I knew I recognised it.

REJECTED!!

 

What's this? I'm still here. Looks like I can't be rejected either. I guess I'll stop the futile rejections.

 

And matey, you should always be prepared to except a who isn't a fan of P*R*I*M*A*R*C*H*S.

 

I play a game in which the bigotry and intolerance of one man can spell death for billions.

 

I don't have to accept anything. :)

 

Oh my, my nerdiness is showing.

 

Oh noes! My nerdiness has been detected!

 

No! Not nerdiness! Not on a Warhammer 40k site! Never, oh, Emperor forbid!

 

*Does a Barrel Roll, then frogblasts the ventcore, followed by screaming "ITS A TRAP!", then barrel-rolling away*

 

Did you hit its weak point for massive damage?

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