mega_marines Posted December 4, 2008 Share Posted December 4, 2008 The Soul Grinder bellowed in rage, slamming its almighty claw down, raking it through the earth to its prey. The blue figure darted to the side of the sweep, and nothing but clumps of dirt and ferrocrete flew into the air. With another howl, the hybrid creature slashed it’s broadsword across in a low arc, the wind howling across its torn surface. This time the mighty figure did not dodge. He threw himself into the attack. Blade met almighty fist, but the fist did not break against steel. The Gauntlet of Ultramar was no mere weapon, it was an ancient artifact, and that artifact was Marneus Calgar’s, Chapter Master of the Ultramarines. The Soul Grinder howled in protest yet again, attempting to cleave the Chapter Master in half, but the powerful energies of the Gauntlets kept the blade in check. The battle was on. Sparks flew as the weapons tore about, and Calgar grunted heavily, his teeth gritted against such raw strength. The beast was made to destroy the heaviest of armor, but its challenger was of a flesh, bone, and ceramite. Easily capable of tearing men apart. With enough of the struggle of power, the angered beast slammed its claw back down towards the ground. It never touched the ruined surface though, as the other powerfist of the pair reacted in kind. This time the Gauntlets were better than the foe and the metal gears and cogs of the power-claw tore free as well as a rip of sinew and flesh. The dead weapon flew free and scattered to the ground, the demon-beast groaning in agony and anger. Now it was even angrier at the god among men. The Soul Grinder ripped its blade backward and struck down again. Surely its insane power would cleave Lord Macragge to pieces, but the weapon was met with the pair of fists and the cold glowing steel of the blade was locked in the grasp of the Ultramarine yet again. With a blood curdling roar, Marneus Calgar pulled the beast into the air, and the groan of his armors servos screeched loudly. With a pivot of his foot the Ultramarine lord launched the heavy Soul Grinder into the air, and it cried out with a primal animal fear. When gravity possessed the beast it hurtled back down and hit the earth, two of mechanical legs breaking the fall, and their own motors in a shower of sparks. The beast was immobilized and Calgar reacted in kind. With surprising dexterity for one in Terminator armor, the Lord of The Ultramarines leaped upon the wounded beast and gripped its enormous head in his gargantuan hands despite its thrashing. With the rune of activation struck in the Gauntlets, the Bolters located underneath roared to life and pulped the demon-beast head into a fleshy pile of gore as it screamed. With a final groan, the dying creature clattered to the ground in a hideous grinding of metal and tearing flesh. As its final motions ceased, Marneus Calgar launched from his perch on the ruined creatures shoulder and slammed into the earth. The ground beneath his frame cracked and Calgar’s stone gaze fell upon the battlefield within mere moments. While he lived, he would lead his Chapter to glory. One bloody fight after another. Such was the role of a warrior. The Lord of the Ultramarines stepped forward, one foot in front of the other, his cloak billowing in the winds behind him as if the power struggle had never occured. His Power Sword clanked against the thigh plates of the Armor of Antilochus and the battle honors he wore clapped into his breastplate; truly proving he was a god among men. With a roar only one who fought endless war could muster, Marneus Calgar bellowed out for all the hear “For The Emperor!” -Matt :D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alys Dwr Posted December 4, 2008 Share Posted December 4, 2008 Nice story! i felt the power of it all, but think you used the same few buzz words too many times eg "gripped..with his powerful grip". Grap the thesaurus off the shelf and see if you can find a word to use instead and this will be a well writen piece. Al Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mega_marines Posted December 5, 2008 Author Share Posted December 5, 2008 Nice story! i felt the power of it all, but think you used the same few buzz words too many times eg "gripped..with his powerful grip". Grap the thesaurus off the shelf and see if you can find a word to use instead and this will be a well writen piece. Al Sorry, wrote this insanely minimal amount of sleep. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alys Dwr Posted December 5, 2008 Share Posted December 5, 2008 lol, i understand and there's no need to apologise.. I'm writing a dissertation at the moment and feel like i haven't slept for 2 months. Al Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sons of Horus Posted December 5, 2008 Share Posted December 5, 2008 it's alright considering i normally hate ultra's. pretty well written. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mega_marines Posted December 8, 2008 Author Share Posted December 8, 2008 lol, i understand and there's no need to apologise.. I'm writing a dissertation at the moment and feel like i haven't slept for 2 months. Al Hah, fun stuff. :D it's alright considering i normally hate ultra's. pretty well written. Thanks! Much appreciated! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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