Scout Sniper Posted February 12, 2009 Share Posted February 12, 2009 I have been thinking of a new story for a while and want to see what response it gets. The story will involve the Illuminati who minipulate imperial politics in a plot to resurrect the Emperor. I'm not sure how people will respond to this. Anyway here is a blurb of sorts: "Sergeant Reynald looked down upon the shape of the cursed heretic writhing beneath his Iron-clad boot, and sneered in disdain at his pathetic struggles to break free. He loomed over the human, his armored bulk shadowing the traitor, and drew his ancient blade pressing it to the throat of the demon-worshipping slime. 'Give me one reason not to kill you scum.' The heretic looked up and spat a gobbet of blood into Reynald's face. His voice grated out of his withered throat, like the rumble of a rockslide - powerful and unstopable. 'I am not the end Dark one, the council will continue the plan, we will be victorious! Ascendant! The STARCHILD WILL RI-' Reynald's blade pierced the howling creature's throat and in his heart he could fell the truth of the beast's words echoing in his soul. This was not the end this was only the beginning..." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scout Sniper Posted February 14, 2009 Author Share Posted February 14, 2009 Don't like bumpin' my own posts but no one's even looking at it. the story would involve the Black Templars, the Eldar and some minor Chaos involvment all being minipulated by the Ilumminati, who believe that by locating the emperors immortal children (the Sensei) they can ressurect the Emperor in a new incarnation as the "Starchild" freeing him from the golden throne. There will be two Sensei in the story as to wether they are captured I haven't written the story yet... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Mordray Posted February 22, 2009 Share Posted February 22, 2009 Interesting idea. I've often wondered about this sort of story myself... I personally don't much care for the BT but I've been known to enjoy stories about/involving them from time to time. If you do write this up I'd read it. Not sure if I'd be able to help you much though... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PH34RB0T Posted February 22, 2009 Share Posted February 22, 2009 I like it so far. Only that bothers me is that the Black Templar wouldn't be manipulated, as the Imperium has little control over them. The Templar's listen only to their High Marshal. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Mordray Posted February 23, 2009 Share Posted February 23, 2009 manipulation doesn't just mean you're getting false or miss leading orders... it can also be caused by misleading events or information. Just because something appears one way doesn't mean it really is. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scout Sniper Posted February 24, 2009 Author Share Posted February 24, 2009 "In the beginning there was the Emperor. He is and always will be. Other Gods have come and gone. But the Emperor is eternal. He is the light in the darkness, the child of the stars, who reigns over us eternal. But even he cannot stand alone. The Dark Gods, the great evils, who even together cannot face his wrath, have bound him in chains he cannot break, chains that his own people forged, that his own people maintain. Until humanity rises from the darkness, there can be no victory. As long as man wallows in evil, the plan of Chaos is fulfilled. But he has forseen this, And in his benificence has granted unto us his children, the Sensei's, leaders, prophets, holy men. they shall lead us into a new age. By their power shall the Starchild be freed, By their sacrifice will we be saved. But they are afraid, alone, hunted. They know not their task. It is our sacred duty to show them, guide them into their destiny. Once we walked blind in the darkness. Now we are Illumminated." the creed of the Illumminati Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alkana Posted February 25, 2009 Share Posted February 25, 2009 Cool idea. Not many people bring the Illuminati into their stories. Did you think of the creed yourself or did you find it somewhere? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scout Sniper Posted February 25, 2009 Author Share Posted February 25, 2009 No I thought it up myself, when I was thinking up a plan for the story. Thought I'd put it on here. It sums up exactly how I imagine the Illumminati would feel and believe, that they are not a manipulative Cult but the true religion, who have to help save others no matter what that entails. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Mordray Posted February 25, 2009 Share Posted February 25, 2009 nice, work so far. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scout Sniper Posted February 25, 2009 Author Share Posted February 25, 2009 "Sigurd walked through the desolate city, between ruins of Cathedrals and manifactoriums. Past the burnt out shells that had once been home to these people; to this world. The sky was red as blood and seemed to mingle with the earth, the blood, corpses and ruins - all that remained of this once vibrant world. He wandered, and as he did so he thought of many things. He thought of what he could have done. He thought of what he did do. He thought of those who suffered and prayed for their salvation. Most of all he thought of the one who caused this madness, the one he now searched for once more. His path followed what had once been the main road through the hive, though it was unrecognisable now save as a battlefield. He continued until he came to the Governer's palace, his intuition told him this was where he would find him, their kind was drawn to seats of power as moths to a flame. As the... creatures', father sat upon the Golden Throne, so they yearned for a throne of their own. It could not be. Powerful though they are such men can never truly bring anything but pain and death, no matter their intentions. At last Sigurd came to the gate of the palace, or that which was left of it. A great war machine of brass and bone lay twitching in the ruins of the entrance, it's daemonic heart pierced by the blade of a hero. One of many heroes who fought for this planet, and one of many monstrosities that sought their doom. All dead. Sigurd felt the despair wash over him and welcomed it. Truly in such a war as they fought now, no side could emerge. It was a struggle to the death, and all anyone ever did was make the end that much quicker. This planet was dead, how long before the rest followed it? Sigurd only awoke from his musings when he entered the throne room and saw the Sensei resting against the dais, where once the throne had stood. He walked over and sat down next to it. There was no fight left in him, no want for needless violence. There was only now, not thinking of tommorow, not knowing of yesterday. The way the wolves thought, the way a Space Wolf thought. After some time Sigurd spoke, 'you will tell me why. You will tell me why this has happened and how. You will tell me so I can stop this from ever happening again, so that I will not fail again.' The Sensei looked over at him, seeing the haunted, melancholy look in his eyes and nodded, 'I think I will. You deserve that much anyway, for all your sacrifice young one.' he appeared to think for a moment before speaking. 'I will start at the beginning. When the Emperor had conquered Earth, but before the creation of the Primarchs, he persued another method of creating children...'" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scout Sniper Posted February 25, 2009 Author Share Posted February 25, 2009 By the way, I have decided that the characters will be: Space wolf Wolfblades (3) Salamanders (?) Deathwatch (5-10) Humans/inquisitors (?) plus chaos, Eldar and the Sensei. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
col.woods606 Posted February 25, 2009 Share Posted February 25, 2009 I'm not sure if you want criticism or not, but these are all quick corrections which improve it so... these are mostly the spelling + grammatical errors which are all minor but whatever (didn't correct a lot of them as I don't doubt that you just overlooked them): Past the burnt out shells that had once been home to these people ; to this world. The The sky was as red as blood He wandered, and as he did so he thought of many things Do you mean wondered? If not then it's an odd choice of words seeing as he is actually going somewhere and not wandering. As the... creature's, father "creatures' " no matter their intentions it's daemonic heart One of many heros I will start in the beginning had conquered earth he persued Sorry if you didn't want criticism, just say so and I won't do it again ;) Hope that helped and I'm looking forward to your story. Keep it up! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alkana Posted February 26, 2009 Share Posted February 26, 2009 The Sensei were around before the Emperor conquered Earth. Just thought I'd let you know. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scout Sniper Posted February 26, 2009 Author Share Posted February 26, 2009 Thanks for the help with those mistakes col.woods606 The Sensei were around before the Emperor conquered Earth. Just thought I'd let you know. As to this, some Sensei were around before the conquest of Earth, some were born during the creation of the Space Marines and some were born during the great crusade. The particular Sensei who is telling the story is telling his own personal story, from his point of view. As the Sensei are immortal and rarely (if ever) meet, he assumes that he was the first, or nearly the first to be born, because he has never heard of older Sensei, just like the younger ones probably don't know that he exists. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Mordray Posted February 26, 2009 Share Posted February 26, 2009 Interesting take on the Sensei, keep up the good work. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rummy Posted March 12, 2009 Share Posted March 12, 2009 Was just reading the creed and are the Illumminati a group of mainly Marines? If so then third line down from the top starts with "Other Gods.." which would imply that the Emperor is a god. Space Marines do not see the emperor as a God. Just to let you now :P Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scout Sniper Posted March 12, 2009 Author Share Posted March 12, 2009 Only a few of the Illumminati are marines. They are mostly normal humans and a lot are inquisitorial agents (ordo malleus) perhaps some are even in the upper echelons of the Imperium... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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