Valdenaar Posted March 26, 2009 Share Posted March 26, 2009 This is the first topic I have created myself, not to sound childish, and i thought what better way than to tell the story of by BT Marshal. Amongst the many great heroes of the Black Templars there are few more feared by the Emperor's enemies than Valdenaar. Holding the rank of Marshall for only a few years, Valdenaar is the youngest Marshal in the Black Templars' long history having been elevated to the rank at the age of sixty-seven and only now just reached of eighty-four. Born on the wartorn planet Solsnake IV, Valdenaar's early life was dominated by brutal war, of which he was a part and though he speaks not of his early life, it is said that he was a child soldier along with his sibling Hikeldenaar. When the Black Templars came across this world they soon resolved the conflict and brough Solsnake IV under Imperial control, but before they left for the next planet in their crusade, a handful of boys were taken with them. Amongst them were the brothers, their skills having caught the eyes of Chaplain Grimaldus himself. The two quickly became neophytes and later initiates, taking part in numerous Crusades and winning many honours, Valdenaar showing himself fast to be an excellent swordmaster whilst his older brother proved to be a marksman of terryfying skill with his bolter an uncommon trait in the Black Templars. Singeled out amongst their battle-brothers Valdenaar and Hikeldenaar were elevated to Marshal Borstanz's Sword Brethren after the Mobian-Penestor Crusade where they further distinguished themselves. Eventually Hikeldenaar was made a Castellan and Valdenaar became his effective second in command, usually found leading his fellow sword Brethren or Assault Squads into battle with his twin chainswords in hand. At the battle of Gaugamelis Hive Valdenaar and his Sword Brethrens' Drop Pod landed off course and finally came to rest in the deadly underhive. Unfazed by the number of mutants and criminals they faced, the young Templar led his brothers upwards towards the main battlefield in the upperhive, emerging behind the enemy and brining the wrath of the Emperor down upon them despite their exhausting trek through the bowels of the city. After the death of Hikeldenaar in the boarding actions against the Ork Kroozer Madchoppa, which Valdenaar avenged by taking the Boss' head, Valdenaar was promoted to replace his brother, and after a decade of studying under the command of Borstanz, he was made Marshal after defeating his fellow Sword Brethren in the ritual duels of succession, and his position was later confirmed by the High Marshal. Since then he has gained a reputation as an utterly ruthless commander, like at the Battle of Kestriid when his Crusade Fleet pursued and destroyed every fleeing seperatist ship or the Sekran Crusade where he killed one fifth of the population of each world conquered for siding with the Word Bearers. He is also renowned for his continously improving skill with his swords, even being awarded a pair of ceremonial power swords by Helbrecht himself in the wake of the Battle of Sekra which Valdenaar wields only when the situation calls for it. Now Crusading around the Eye of Terror, Valdenaar's legend continues to grow with every victory won against the Traitor Legions who now consider him more than an annoyance and more like a nemesis, but every force sent to stop his crusade and kill the young Marshal has failed in their duty. Woe betide any who appose the Emperor's will, for Valdenaar will deliver His wrath upon them with devastating force. For Dorn and the Emperor. At last i've finished it. So tell me what you think and if you want you can give me tips on how to improve the story. Thank's for reading I'll try to get a picture of Valdenaar on here when i can. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
antique_nova Posted March 26, 2009 Share Posted March 26, 2009 Amongst the many great heroes of the Black Templars there are few more feared by the Emperor's enemies than Valdenaar. Holding the rank of Marshall for only a few years, Valdenaar is the youngest Marshal in the Black Templars' long history at just eighty years old. I thought it was 8 years old at first lol, however you make this sound like the present, if it is, then i think most readeres would like to know why he is so feared and how long he has been marshal for. The two quickly became neophytes and later initiates, taking part in numerous Crusades and winning many honours, Valdenaar showing himself fast to be an excellent swordmaster whilst his older brother proved to be a marksman of terryfying skill. Singeled out amongst their battle-brothers Valdenaar and Hikeldenaar were elevated to Marshal Borstanz's Sword Brethren after the Mobian-Penestor Crusade Marksmen? I doubt many templars would be like that or even boast of that skill, as they are a close combat army, his older relative could be an excellant tutor or tactician. (Got to go now but i'll finish when i can. Sorry guys) np jsut keep up the good work and keep reading other peoples versions as well. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Retributis Posted March 26, 2009 Share Posted March 26, 2009 The Black Templars like close combat sure but I think they would be proud of skill in any area. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chaplain ChonkE Posted March 26, 2009 Share Posted March 26, 2009 Martial prowess is martial prowess. I seriously doubt any Space Marine feels anything but glowing love and devotion to his Bolter or bolt pistol, no matter the Chapter/Legion or Good/Evil. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marshal Rohr Posted March 26, 2009 Share Posted March 26, 2009 In the Damnation Crusade comics it says that pride in anything is discouraged, to the point where the Marshal was going to kill the main character if he thought he was prideful in his responses. You know they take it seriously if a Marshal would meet with an initiate. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marshall Azog Posted March 26, 2009 Share Posted March 26, 2009 I have to chime in and say that it's false to think that Black Templars are "close combat only". They are not, otherwise they wouldn't have Predator tanks or the ability to take Lascannons on their Dreadnoughts. However, the army list DOES NOT HAVE SNIPERS anywhere in it, so the concept of a marskman is just as out of place. Marshall Azog Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lord Exedore Posted March 26, 2009 Share Posted March 26, 2009 he is very skilled with a Bolter I guess, so one could talk of a marksman...even with a Boltpistol one could be a marksman :D @MArshal: Damnation Crusade is ONE side of fluff, so I would say, that Valdenaar can pack as much "pride" into his protagonists as he deems fit- of cause too much pride is very "slaneeshy" but heck, it is his story :) Anyway I like the charakters you present Valdenaar. I would enjoy reading more. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marshal Rohr Posted March 27, 2009 Share Posted March 27, 2009 Of course he can do whatever he wants its his models, I was providing a precedent. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Valdenaar Posted March 27, 2009 Author Share Posted March 27, 2009 Thank's Lord Exodore. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
antique_nova Posted March 27, 2009 Share Posted March 27, 2009 I have to chime in and say that it's false to think that Black Templars are "close combat only". They are not, otherwise they wouldn't have Predator tanks or the ability to take Lascannons on their Dreadnoughts. dreads are more cc if you think about it and when i said close combat only, i meant majority and no matter how close combat you are you will always have tanks. However, the army list DOES NOT HAVE SNIPERS anywhere in it, so the concept of a marskman is just as out of place. agreed Marshall Azog thanks antique_nova Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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