Donkey Kong Posted October 25, 2009 Author Share Posted October 25, 2009 Glad you like it Grey! When can we expect the rest of your story :) ? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Codex Grey Posted October 26, 2009 Share Posted October 26, 2009 Oh, not too soon I think. I'll use any spare time I might get to write, but over the next few weeks I'm pretty swamped. But I'm not the only one here. How are people doing with their writing? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ferrus Manus Posted October 26, 2009 Share Posted October 26, 2009 Here's what I have so far. I expect it will end up between 2000-3500 words by the end. The World Train. A massive locomotive that encompasses the entire Artificial City Network that is used to transport battalions of soldiers and supplies between different fortified locations. The train’s rails are heavily defended by anti aircraft and anti ground batteries. Likewise, the train itself is heavily armored and carrying multiple Gehenna PDF. To any normal attacker, the destruction of such a target would prove costly and problematic. Unfortunately for the Gehennan rebels, the Emperor’s Astartes are anything but a normal force. What follows is a detailed account of its destruction, written from the recollections of Brother-Chaplain Gaut of the Arctic Lions 3rd Company… Gaut stirred from his prayer. His first sight was his skull helm staring back at him; the eye pieces starring back at him with the grimace of the mask. He smiled as he grasped the helm and locked it in place. He suffered a second of darkness before his helmets’ auto senses kicked in. In an instant he could read off the companies’ status and planetary positioning and one hundred other things. However, only one thing concerned him: the red skull that was projected onto the corner of his vision. It only meant one thing; it meant a brother’s death. + Brother-Scout Eldgrim watched as his brother died in a hail of las fire. His carapace armour was riddled with holes; each filled with semi-congealed blood. The enemy PDF had caught them unawares, whilst they set up the targeting beacons for their brothers. Time was of the essence; the anti-aircraft weaponry needed to be destroyed before the Thunderhawks arrived, or the rest of the Company would be in danger. He would not have that on his head. He knew that Gaut would already reprimand them for their laxity, especially since a brother had died because of it. The rest of his unit had stuck to the shadows as the PDF troopers ran past, seeking them out. He had ordered his men to let them past; they outnumbered them a hundred to one. The brethren of the 1st Company would deal with them. Eldgrim checked his chronometer; time was ticking away. The Homing Beacons were nearly ready, they needed mere minutes to be ready, but each minute brought a potential disaster closer. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Codex Grey Posted October 27, 2009 Share Posted October 27, 2009 Seems to be a nice set-up for a lot of action there, Ferrus. It'll be great to see more. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Donkey Kong Posted October 27, 2009 Author Share Posted October 27, 2009 Nice, Ferrus. Two things, though: One: The comment on the brother's death, I know it seems almost silly to come up with a name just to kill them off, but the repetition of brother from the Chaplain to the scout next to him doesn't read well. Two: For the sake of my own curiosity, will the Death Heads make an appearance? KHK Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ferrus Manus Posted October 27, 2009 Share Posted October 27, 2009 1: Hrm, I know what you mean. I'll get rid of one of the brothers. 2: Aye, they shall. I have a devious plan in mind :) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ace Debonair Posted October 28, 2009 Share Posted October 28, 2009 Sorry for the delay. I'm tied up in some thirteen-week-long course which is going to eat my time alive for the next three months. :wacko: I'm glad you're pleased with my depiction of Howl thus far, KHK. Since I'm rubbish at writing gunfights in any shape or form, I suspect the next part will be a post-battle section again. A hunted look is the look you have on your face when you're in a situation where the only way out of it is to do something you don't want to do. Not frightened, not disgusted, you just know you're not going to like what happens next at all. I have no idea why it's called a hunted look, since hunting doesn't come into it. :) I also have to say, my story looks pretty weak next to the stuff you guys have conjured up. I'm digging the "Beast Of Gehena" as a big. nasty storm - very cool. I'm also looking forward to seeing the conclusion of what happens on the World Train. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Donkey Kong Posted October 28, 2009 Author Share Posted October 28, 2009 Best of luck, then, Ace. Codex Grey, I'll be having Taggart or one of Third's sergeant killing the Farseer manipulating the storm during the course of your story. I'll follow with my own afterward so as not to put any sort of vice on your telling. Just a note for you to make a passing mention to the Storm's recession. KHK Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Codex Grey Posted October 29, 2009 Share Posted October 29, 2009 Hmm, well then Lazar will go after the Warlocks on and in the palace. Where would this farseer be located if not in the palace (which I would have assumed was the most protected position)? Also, how many farseers would the Eldar have? How many present in this battle? I was hoping to have one inside the palace as well. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Donkey Kong Posted October 29, 2009 Author Share Posted October 29, 2009 Excellent point, Grey. Do you think it would work with having a warlock or farseer playing a key role inside the palace and having multiple warlocks in the surrounding districts aiding the one in the palace keep the storm in place? Or more likely a pair of farseers, one working inside the palace another working outside. I imagine two farseers and five or six warlocks between the palace and the outer defenses. I'm sure there would be aspect warriors present as well. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ferrus Manus Posted October 29, 2009 Share Posted October 29, 2009 I imagine two farseers and five or six warlocks between the palace and the outer defenses. I'm sure there would be aspect warriors present as well. This works best IMHO Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Codex Grey Posted October 29, 2009 Share Posted October 29, 2009 I imagine two farseers and five or six warlocks between the palace and the outer defenses. I'm sure there would be aspect warriors present as well. This works best IMHO Agreed. Out of curiosity, how many farseers would the craftworld have in total spread throughout the cluster? And who is the main Eldar dude? Any thoughts on that? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ferrus Manus Posted October 29, 2009 Share Posted October 29, 2009 Five sounds good to me. Then you have the Autarchs (sp?) as well. In my notes I had the lead Farseer's name as Yi'Hamr the Allseeing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Donkey Kong Posted October 29, 2009 Author Share Posted October 29, 2009 I honestly don't know. Though I would expect at least one for each production world, something in the way of 8+ maybe 10 or 11? Warlocks, Autarchs, Exarchs, etc. I really, really, don't know. How's writing going? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Grey Hunter Ydalir Posted October 30, 2009 Share Posted October 30, 2009 something in the way of 8+ maybe 10 or 11? I'm not sure Farseers aren't that common KHK. The Ulthwee craftworld (the strongest farseers) have the seer-council, but that's only a handful of seers and only with Eldrad at the head. I'd say a handful at most, maybe five tops and that would be most of the craftworlds leadership. You don't need a farseer on every world, they could easily be handled by an autarch or aspect exarch. Remember the Eldar are a dying race, they cannot field anything to match the production capability of the Imperium. Every battle they fight is a careful balance between how many they can afford to lose (none) and completing whatever mission to which they are assigned. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Donkey Kong Posted October 30, 2009 Author Share Posted October 30, 2009 That makes sense, GHY. Unfortunately, I honestly can't think of a number to pull out of a hat, so I'll just go with a gut feeling: 2 Farseers on the ACN, 1 Farseer on Zhu's World, I guess other world eldar forces will be under the command of Warlocks, Autarchs or Exarchs. Sounds fair to me. Keep up the good work everyone, and thanks for catching the mistake GHY. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Grey Hunter Ydalir Posted October 30, 2009 Share Posted October 30, 2009 Well how about trying to think of it like a web. All Eldar are psychic to a degree, therefore a farseer could be present on a central world that would aid and guide the flow of the war being waged on the worlds around that central position. That however depends upon the layout of the Gehenna Cluster itself. Is there any sort of idea as to their positioning? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Donkey Kong Posted October 30, 2009 Author Share Posted October 30, 2009 Nothing really yet. The ideas so far basically boil down to the ACN on Gehenna being the center of the uprising and other worlds around it. I also imagine the manufacturing worlds to orbit near several agricultural moons. Zhu's World is the largest of the manufacturing moons and has three agricultural moons near it. As for the others, I really don't know how to make a map in MS paint, and that's throwing me off a bit. I'll see what I can do though. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Codex Grey Posted October 30, 2009 Share Posted October 30, 2009 I would think that the main farseer dude would always be on (or always come back to after small trips or whatever) to the Eldar ship gate moon. This would then be the center of the cluster from which he would guide and boost his fellow Eldar. The next step in the 'sphere of influence' would be the ACN. Here there are two subordinate farseers, moving between the various network cities depending on where they are needed the most, which during the Astartes assault would be the capitol for both of them. depending on whether or not there are any more farseers, these would be placed on key moons beyond the ACN, like Zhu's World. I like the number 5, it's a nice number and I think it works. 1 on Eldar ship gate world 2 on ACN (one in palace, one outside) 2 on key moons (one on Zhu's world, one on another) I'm okay with reducing this number if you guys want less, but I think having more than 5 would be pushing it for a DIY craftworld. Just my thoughts on the thing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Donkey Kong Posted October 31, 2009 Author Share Posted October 31, 2009 5 will works fine :down: , Yi'Hamr the Allseeing will be the one moving between the hidden moon and the others. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ace Debonair Posted November 6, 2009 Share Posted November 6, 2009 Aha, right. I'll just change the farseer in the battle I was planning to a warlock. :lol: It's not a massively important piece of the campaign anyway, and it's still a long way off finished. Regrettably. I'm also going to have to re-write it slightly to include the recent evolution of the Infinity Knights' beliefs. Thankfully my other story doesn't need adapting in that way. Forward planning or what? :P Hopefully it works out well. Only time will tell, though. :P Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Donkey Kong Posted November 13, 2009 Author Share Posted November 13, 2009 I'm working a little on the organization for the Gehenna Coalition, or Gen Col. Gehenna Coalition Chancellor Elect Gior Ferze Lord General - - - General - - - Iber Collect (- - -) Iber 1st Regiment Iber 2nd Regiment - - - Raztur (- - -) Raztur 1st Regiment Raztur 2nd Regiment - - - Tazad (- - -) Tazad 1st Regiment Tazad 2nd Regiment - - - Zhu's Ring (Zhu's Green; Zhu's Hope; Zhu's Peace; Zhu's World; - - -) Zhu's 1st Regiment Zhu's 2nd Regiment - - - ACN (Artificial City Network) Yisa 1st Regiment Yisa 2nd Regiment - - - Emim 1st Elite Emim 2nd Elite - - - Craftworld Kel-Altasar Farseer Yi'Hamr the Allseeing Farseer - - - Autarch - - - Warlock - - - The Iber, Raztur, Tazad and Zhu are all the names of groups of worlds, each group having about 12 worlds. These names are not set in stone, so feel free to suggest different ones or names for worlds in each group. The names for the regiments are mostly drawn from the name of the world, in the case of Yisa, it is the Hebrew pronunciation of Israel, minus a bit on the end, and Emim is the name of a tribe in Genesis known as the Dreaded. Names for any of the Generals or leaders are all welcome, especially Eldar ones. Thanks, KHK Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Donkey Kong Posted November 15, 2009 Author Share Posted November 15, 2009 It's very rough . . . scratch that, it's a sad, sad endeavor, but it gets my point across. http://i47.photobucket.com/albums/f187/parouleklin/Untitled-1.jpg It illustrates the layout of the Gehenna Cluster, in all fairness, there should be moons all around, mostly between the Zhu Worlds and Iber. I might make Gehenna a more recent event, possibly one or two hundred years closer to M42, would anyone oppose this? This is mostly to make my Captains younger at the time of ending. I can always change the Captains present. Thanks, KHK Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Codex Grey Posted November 15, 2009 Share Posted November 15, 2009 Nice work, King! The names and the map makes it easier to get some perspective on the campaign and I imagine that it will be helpful for writing stories. I'm entering my last week of my first real assignment at school, so I could try to create some kind of graphic for the map when I get some time? If so, what is the current date of when that 'picture was taken' ? Does the craftworld move around much or does it stay put in one place, like for example by the ship gate? I was going to comment on how the timeline would make some captains be a bit too old for my tastes, so I wouldn't mind bumping the campaign up a few years. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Donkey Kong Posted November 15, 2009 Author Share Posted November 15, 2009 I'm imaging pushing the Campaign to 853.M41 to 864.M41, a century closer to The Time of Ending. The "picture" or map would have been drawn some time around 850.M41, so that the craftworld is present. All of the moons revolve around Gehenna, so, while this just gives prospective, by the time of the final invasion, Tazad could be in Raztur's position, but still the duty of the Second Invasion Group if that makes any sense. If any Captains have to change because of this, post here and I'll edit the OP. The Craftworld moves around the gas giant itself, not really getting involved in protecting the outlying worlds. I may also be making similar maps for each of the four groups. Best of luck with school, Codex Grey! Whenever you can make a picture, I'd appreciate it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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