Rise of the Imperium (formely Rise of the Emperor)

[calgar101]

Hello, i have been a long time lurker on this board, reading many topics especially the stories and now i have been inspired to write my own. Some of the plot will probably be going out on an extended limb as far as fluff is concerned but just ignore some of the ambiguous parts and enjoy the story for what it is, hope you enjoy :cuss

 

Edit- Title change as the Rise of the Imperium is more fitting for the plot.

 

Please could any one who reads this post a comment, even if its just, nice, or good job. As this keeps up morale and means i'll write more ;) thanks.

[calgar101]

Chapter 1

 

Ygethor ran the dagger down the marine’s chest, leaving droplets of blood in its wake. “I could end you right now, lap dog. Snap your bones like twigs, make you bleed from every orifice” the chaos sorcerer laughed.

“I don’t think you truly know what I am scum! I can feel your anxiety and fear!” the chained Astartes retorted. The chains that bound his super human body to the rock strained as he leant into the face of sorcerer.

“Pathetic” spat Ygethor, “it matters not what I think. Your sacrifice will please the gods and increase my favour with them” he added.

Cypher smiled and let out a bellowing laugh.

 

Constantin Valdor was knelt in front of a shrine to the Emperor. Incense and the smell of burning filled the air. Valdor had his eyes closed, images of past battles and deeds filled his brain. Memory after memory filtered through his thoughts; all contained the Emperor. His sole purpose was to protect the Emperor, he had failed in his duty; something he couldn’t forgive himself for. Still, even ten thousand years later, Constantin could not believe he had gone. A lone tear ran down each of his cheeks. “We are nearing the planet now, Captain-General.” The voice broke Valdor from his reverie; composing himself, Constantin stood up and along with the other Custodian left the shrine room.

 

Ygethor licked the blood off the dagger tip. “Yess, the gods will be pleased by your sacrifice” a smile of pure malice across the sorcerers face. Cypher's chest was covered in scars, cut into the shapes of chaos runes, his super human blood having clotted the wounds almost instantly.

“Pathetic puppet of the chaos filth! Even now the guardians of the most beneficent Emperor approach!” Cypher screamed, a look of in anticipation on his face.

“You fool; your corpse god abandons you! It is time, the gods grow eager for your soul!” Ygethor was now wide eyed and dagger in hand was approaching Cypher. Cultists in rags formed a circle around the sacrificial pit. They began to chant blasphemous prayers to the sky. As purple lightning lit up the crimson sky, three orange dots were growing larger and larger as unnoticed they plummeted toward the ground.

[Skirax]

It's nice, very nice.

 

Only a few problems, nothing major;

 

From what I remember, Valdor was killed during the Heresy, as the Emperor put him on the throne in his place while he did battle on Horus' barge, and since Valdor couldn't hold back the warp powers, then fried him.

 

The grammer was a little off, like when ever another person talks, you have to start a new line.

 

And there needs to be some comma's every now and then.

 

Here is what I think it should be like:

*****************************

Ygethor ran the dagger down the marine’s chest, leaving droplets of blood in its wake. “I could end you right now, lap dog. Snap your bones like twigs, make you bleed from every orifice” the chaos sorcerer laughed.

“I don’t think you truly know what I am scum! I can feel your anxiety and fear!” the chained Astartes retorted. The chains that bound his super human body to the rock strained as he leant into the face of sorcerer.

“Pathetic” spat Ygethor, “it matters not what I think. Your sacrifice will please the gods and increase my favour with them” he added.

Cypher smiled and let out a bellowing laugh.

 

Constantin Valdor was knelt in front of a shrine to the Emperor. Incense and the smell of burning filled the air. Valdor had his eyes closed, images of past battles and deeds filled his brain. Memory after memory filtered through his thoughts; all contained the Emperor. His sole purpose was to protect the Emperor, he had failed in his duty; something he couldn’t forgive himself for. Still, even ten thousand years later, Constantin could not believe he had gone. A lone tear ran down each of his cheeks. “We are nearing the planet now, Captain-General.” The voice broke Valdor from his reverie; composing himself, Constantin stood up and along with the other Custodian left the shrine room.

 

Ygethor licked the blood off the dagger tip. “Yess, the gods will be pleased by your sacrifice” a smile of pure malice across the sorcerers face. Cypher's chest was covered in scars, cut into the shapes of chaos runes, his super human blood having clotted the wounds almost instantly.

“Pathetic puppet of the chaos filth! Even now the guardians of the most beneficent Emperor approach!” Cypher screamed, a look of in anticipation on his face.

“You fool; your corpse god abandons you! It is time, the gods grow eager for your soul!” Ygethor was now wide eyed and dagger in hand was approaching Cypher. Cultists in rags formed a circle around the sacrificial pit. They began to chant blasphemous prayers to the sky. As purple lightning lit up the crimson sky, three orange dots were growing larger and larger as unnoticed they plummeted toward the ground

[Monstra Sumus]

Nah, it was Malcador the Silligite that sat on the throne in the Big mans stead while he was laying some smackdown on Horus.

 

As much as I know, Valdor is still alive in the fluff coz Custodians are the pimpus maximus.

 

But as the story goes, keep it coming.

[Skirax]

Ah, yes, sorry. I always get those two confused ;)

[Tormented]

Interesting so far, please continue.

[calgar101]

Thanks for the comments guys it is much appreciated! Thanks too Skirax for the corrections, grammar has never been a strong point of mine.

 

Chapter 2

 

Three golden drop pods slammed into the ground, the force of the impact sending the cultists and Ygethor flying. Thirty black figures came charging out of them, a hail of bolter shots felling the cultists. Ygethor quickly scrambled to his feet, a staff appearing in his hands. Constantin ran toward Ygethor his Guardian Sword in hand. Ygethor snarled and fired a bolt of purple warp energy at his opponent, the bolt snaked toward Valdor he carried on ignoring it; the warp bolt dissipated around Valdor without harming him into nothingness. Rage and hatred flowed through Valdor as he swung his sword at Ygethor. The daemonic entity within his staff hissed as it felt the consecrated blade the Captain-General. "Flee you fool"! It hissed at Ygethor, "Never!" Ygethor roared as he swung his staff in a wide arc at Constantin.

Valdor nimbly dodged the wild attack spinning to his right and around to the back of the chaos sorcerer, his sword followed suit; cutting Ygethor in half. The accompanying Custodes formed a protective circle in case any daemons or traitor marines found them.

"You are the Fallen they call Cypher" Constantin asked.

 

"Yes" Cypher curtly replied.

 

Valdor walked forwards and bent down and picked up a brown scabbard that lay near Cyphers position, he pulled on the handle to reveal a shining golden sword. Constantin smiled.

"Come Cypher you will bear witness to the Emperors rebirth!" Valdor rejoiced, breaking Cyphers chains.

 

All of the Legio Custodes stood before the throne room, their armour repainted gold in the anticipation of the Emperors return. Two figures stood directly in front of the Emperor himself; here the din of power generators was replaced by a noisy silence. Cherubs fluttered about spraying holy water and incense into the air. The decaying corpse of the Emperor sat upon the throne, wires and tubes came out from the back of his body into the floor. "He looked so much different than the Emperor he knew" thought Constantin. Constantin handed the sword to Cypher, "It was prophesised that a Fallen son of the Lion was to be the one to resurrect the Emperor” Valdor instructed. Cypher grimaced at being called a Fallen son and reluctantly took the sword. “Forgive me” Cypher whispered as he plunged the Lion sword into the Emperors withered husk.

[astartes88]

WHOA!!!

[Jonas Stromclaw]

A very annoying cliff hanger. WHERE IS THE NEXT POST?!?

[calgar101]

A celestial wind whipped up, as the Emperors withered husk was enveloped by a white light. Warp energies began to flicker about the throne. Bolts of pure warp energy shot out into the air and would then dissipate; the warp began to course through the Emperors body. Cyphers robes flapped about as the wind began to reach a crescendo, Valdor nor Cypher could look upon the Emperor for the white was far too bright, it was if a star was perched on the throne. The tubes and wires that were attached flew off, instantly vaporising as they came into contact with the warp, a scream of “NO MORE!” echoed throughout the throne room, causing the Legio Custodes to look about in confusion. The Emperors body began to rise up and slowly began to rotate, the warp energies were wrapping around his body, his arms raised, the wind ceased.

A bolt of gold energy shot out from the throne and straight into the Emperor, the light it gave off caused the Custodes below to shield their eyes.

The Emperor seemed to grow, he was no longer a husk; his body was born anew, no longer was he a man he was no a god! His outlined seemed to flow, from a distance his olive skin looked to remain still but on closer inspection it was not olive nor still. It flowed like a multi-coloured river, as the warp coursed through his body. Still floating in the air, the Emperor opened his eyes and took in a huge breath. Not knowing what to say Constantin, Cypher and the Custodians all knelt down before their god. The Emperor looked down, casting judgement on them. Then he began to weep. The memories of his fight between Horus flooded his head, rage and sadness filled him. “Oh how he wanted revenge, how easy it would be to abandon the Imperium and go on a vendetta against the chaos gods; those who turned his beloved sons against him!” He knew it would take time, but he could destroy them, then thoughts of leaving His Imperium to be ravaged by xenos empires reminded him that humanity needed him more than he needed revenge. The power though; it felt so good. He was used to feeling the power of the warp but to be one with the warp felt weird yet good.

 

“My loyal sons!” His voiced echoed around the room, it was filled with authority and power. “I am proud to call you my sons, your faith and loyalty is commending. I ask one more thing of you, keep my rebirth quite. Imperium you shed blood for, the one where some of your battle-brothers gave their lives for will rise once again! The nefarious, warp-scum the chaos gods The Emperor spat the word chaos and a look of anger flashed across his face, "will not win against us! Our glorious Imperium will be rebuilt, our work will not be undone. I will not allow it! I must leave Terra for now, I will keep the astronomican going but I will not be here. There are certain things I must do, until then my sons".

Cheers and cries of jubilation began to ring though out the Throne room. Many Custodes were confused and in a state of shock at what they had just witnessed; many cried openly.

 

An orb of white light began to expand above the Emperor, it enveloped the Emperor and within moments he was gone.

[Terrible_Trygon]

I think the Emperor's first words could have been worded better. It kinda reads out like this tbh:

 

"My loyal sons! I am proud to call you my sons, your faith and loyalty is commending. But can you like keep this quiet plz? Got vry srs biznis to do. brb".

 

 

Also, purple light? ;)

 

 

This is looking interesting, but be careful. It is all too easy to be clumsy when writing fanfic about big things. Just look at Rise of the Tau. Don't be Twilight 40k.

 

I suggest making sure the Emperor's Return always remains the main focus of the story. Any other super large events should be covered in sequels. Packing too much big in one story makes it crowded.

[calgar101]

It is kinda of hard to know what he would say or do when he returns. Im trying to think like him, his rebirth is paramount to the story but i warn you things from here could be deemed heretical to the fluff and is going to sound far fetched atleast :P I do encourage you to read on. Purple beacuse thats how i see the warp to be and on Dawn of War pc game, purple is used to all teleporting.

 

Also whats the Rise of the Tau?

[Terrible_Trygon]

Rise of the Tau is a giant story where everything fights everything, held together by cliff hangers and perspective changes. However, like Twilight, because it has everything fighting everything, it appeals to the lowest common denominator.

 

Don't fall down this path. Don't be an appeaser. Make your story interesting and unique.

 

And instead of purple, I'd just not describe a colour. Or have him vanish in a expansion of white light. Or have him shrouded by light the whole time, so it is just his voice, leaving behind a empty throne when he is finished speaking and leaves.

[calgar101]

Ah, not read twilight aswell and nor do i wish to. I like you idea of the teleportion, so i will 'steal it' :rolleyes:

[calgar101]

The Emperor surveyed the room. It looked just as he had remembered it except all traces of demonic possession and chaos had gone. His sons Sanguinius and Horus did not lay there dead. No Custodian lay dead, the room like the rest of the Vengeful Spirit looked as if it had just come out of an Imperial shipyard.

The Emperor stood there in a white robe, the Aquila emblazoned on the front, rage and revenge filled him. He began to clench and unclench his left hand. The air began to shimmer and to fold in around his fist, and then a tear in reality appeared. An arch of white light appeared, two plain golden doors filled the space between it. The Emperor put the palm of his left hand onto the golden doors causing them to shimmer, and then he clenched his fist making the doors fold into themselves.

 

“Return my lost sons!” The Emperors voice boomed through the arch way. A figure immediately appeared, its huge shadow cast in front of the arch way. A stern face with an unruly crop of bone white hair met the Emperor as a figure in burnished copper and gold armour strode through the arch, his red velvet cloak whipped about at his heels. As soon as Rogal Dorn entered the room he knelt, tears streaming down his face; “Father I…I failed”. Dorn’s face was now red and his eyes puffy, he staggered to his feet, then it hit him; his father, the person who he had carried and placed on the golden throne stood before him. “How?” was all he could say. The Emperor strode over towards him and grasping Dorn’s left shoulder hauled him onto his feet.

 

A second figure came striding out of the archway, his angelic face shone in the light. Sanguinius’s white feather-like wings stretched out. He gracefully walked over to the Emperor and knelt. “Father, I foresaw this but never truly believed this day would come. I am sorry for doubting you my lord.” sanguineous angelic voice carried throughout the room.

“Your sacrifice for me is enough to convince me of your faith Sanguinius” replied the Emperor.

Sanguinius stood up, his wings folded behind his back, “Thank you” he replied softly. Both Rogal Dorn and Sanguinius’s chests swelled with pride and cheeks ran with tears as they beheld their father and creator.

 

Then several arguing voices and crashing and banging could be heard coming from the arch, the two Primarchs and the Emperor looked towards the arch wondering what was coming through next.

[Jonas Stromclaw]

The several arguing voices and crashing and banging could be heard coming from the arch, the two Primarchs and the Emperor looked towards the arch wondering what was coming through next.

Let me guess, the Lion and Russ, right?

[Skirax]

Back to the good old days, eh? :(

[calgar101]

I think you'll be surprised and probably shocked as to who comes. Be prepared for almost every single fluff rule to be broken, but hopefully if i write it well then it could be plausible.

[calgar101]

Ferrus Manus flew through the arch way and landed with a thud on the floor. Before even registering where he was or who he was with, the Iron Hands Primarch leapt to his feet as Fulgrim came through the archway. His face was pale and his eyes all puffy; he looked a shell of his former self. All traces of his demonic possession gone.

“Thought you could kill me? You treacherous bastard!” screamed Manus, in two strides he closed the gap between himself and Fulgrim. Quicker than Fulgrim anticipated and could react to, Ferrus punched him square in the chest, sending him flying through the archway but instead of going back in it he passed through it as if it wasn’t there. Fulgrim remained on the floor, all the fight had been drained from him.

Ferrus spat on Fulgrim, the acid burning through his robes making a sizzling noise. Ferrus made to go towards the vulnerable Fulgrim but was held back by an unknown force. He spun round with surprising agility ready to meet this new threat but he was shocked to come face to face with his brother; Sanguinius.

 

“What is going on?” The anger had vanished from Ferrus’s gruff voice, to be replaced with confusion.

“My brother by the divine hand of our father and lord we are reborn anew! To carry his light, to defend humanity for its multitude of foes and rebuild His shattered Imperium” Sanguinius emphatically replied.

Manus looked behind his brother Primarch to see Dorn and the Emperor, he dropped onto one knee, “My lord, it is a great honour to be in your presence once again” Manus said softly.

Before the Emperor could reply, a loud screaming and banging noise distracted them as Fulgrim began to smash his head against the floor as he screamed and wept; ashamed to be in the presence of the Emperor.

 

“How could I of been so weak and pathetic? Death is the only way to repent” he wailed, arms and head flailing about.

 

“Your wish is granted sum! Ferrus retorted. He went to move his muscular bulk toward Fulgrim but Sanguinius’s vice like grip kept him from doing so. “Enough brother, more of our kin return. It is time to put our past behind us” Sanguinius said, instilling a sense of calm over Ferrus.

 

Fulgrim had managed to get to his feet but looked as if he would topple over in the slightest gust of wind. “I failed…I…I” tears streamed down his cheeks. “Kill me my lord, I failed….I do not deserve to live” Fulgrim was know kneeling in front of the Emperor; he ripped open his robes revealing his bare, muscular chest. His arms stretched either side of him. “I beg of you, father!” he sobbed.

 

“You have no right to call him your father!” Dorn roared, before he could grab Fulgrim around the neck, the Emperor had batted his hand away.

 

“I have felt your pain Fulgrim. I have felt your grief, your remorse, anguish and pain. To have battled against demonic possession for ten thousand years is a remarkable feat. I forgive you” he replied emphatically. Dorn and Ferrus looked on at the Emperor in disbelief and amazement. Fulgrim staggered to his feet, he still sobbed but this time for joy. Sanguinius looked on and smiled, his noble and angelic features more present then ever.

 

“How can this be?” Dorn cried out.

 

“Because I Will it Rogal, once all your brothers have arrived I will explain.” replied the Emperor. Rogal simply nodded in reply. With all this commotion no one had noticed the four new figures that had entered and now stood in front of the archway. They were huge, not as tall as Primarch but would tower over even space marines in tactical dreadnought armour. Their skin was bone white, their eyes a blood red. Their huge muscular bulk showed through their black armour. Their hands ended in long, metallic like claws. They were the Weregeld. “The Master of the Shadow, our lord and father Corax doth approach!” the Weregeld could barely speak, but managed to get across his message. The four Weregeld knelt down as Corax, Master of the Shadows and Primarch of the Raven Guard strode through the archway. His lightning claws hung unsheathed at his sides as he entered the room. Corax strode forwards, his awesome bulk evident even beneath his ornate and ancient black armour. He Knelt down before the Emperor, proud to be able to serve him once again.

[Mjelnir]

Awesome

[calgar101]

Thanks!

[Jonas Stromclaw]

It seems to me that your dialogue is beginning to flow much better, though its still a little stilted. Good work.

[astartes88]

Yeah ferrus punched fulgrim like that! HAHA!

[Brother Captain Ming]

It's pretty good so far, I like the way Ferrus and Fulgrim come back. Can't wait to read what happens next (I almost wrote see)!

[Skirax]

It's an awesome way for two Primarchs to enter, but as for fluff continuety, don't worry, I broke that in thread as well ;) All the Primarchs are returning in mine as well, but in different ways. Besides, GW do it fine enough by themselves ;)