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Done. Original image edited so as to avoid image spam. Heh.

That's awesome. Thanks so much. I'm on my phone right now. When I get home, I'll see if I can get it colored and added to a battlefield backdrop. Well, not me personally, I'm about as artistic with photoshop as a vegetable.

  • 2 weeks later...

Nice.

 

The bit right before you detail the tribes, though, I think a sentence along the lines of:

 

"Although The Nephilim recruit any worthy warrior from the Naergoni tribes, two clans in particular are noteworthy."

 

Would make it flow better.

 

Looking forward to seeing that very cool land raider design all coloured in. :devil:

  • 3 weeks later...

Quick question: Where did you get that picture of Naergon? I've been wondering where people where getting those pictures of planets for their Indices Astartes/Tratoris. It would add a nice touch to some ideas I had.

 

Also, that Noise Raider is very, very nice. I'd love to see it as an actual model.

Quick question: Where did you get that picture of Naergon? I've been wondering where people where getting those pictures of planets for their Indices Astartes/Tratoris. It would add a nice touch to some ideas I had.

I was wondering the same.

Quick question: Where did you get that picture of Naergon? I've been wondering where people where getting those pictures of planets for their Indices Astartes/Tratoris. It would add a nice touch to some ideas I had.

I was wondering the same.

 

What I do is go on Lexicanum, find a planetary image, download it then upload it to imageshack/photobucket/whatever, then add it into the IA.

  • 4 months later...

Holy crap... He's back!

 

This unfortunately isn't an update, but I have returned. Sorry I've been gone for a while and missed the competition. Life took some interesting turns for the worse and then the better...

 

Anyways, I'm back. I'll be working on this when I have time now. Hopefully, I'll be able to finish it all up before the fall semester.

 

The picture of Naergon came from DeviantArt. I don't remember what I was looking up, but I when I saw it, I knew it fit perfectly.

 

LandRaider completed by Reyner's awesome girlfriend will be posted laterish.

I really liked some parts, some parts were average, and I only didn't like a couple things... good job! :Elite:

 

I will re-attack this tomorrow because it is bed time. However a couple quick things:

 

- I think the mentioning of art should be a sidebar

- I thought the Eldar attacking and then your guys winning was glossed over and could be more in depth

- I like how you view the Black Legion... you are honest about it

- I felt like bouncing between two worlds in two sections was a bit much. How would you feel about it being condensed onto one planet?

- I feel like your guys should have a Daemon Prince

 

OK. Enough for me. I look forward to more

 

PS. Slaanesh is a skirt wearing fancy she-male! :D

I really liked some parts, some parts were average, and I only didn't like a couple things... good job! :P

 

I will re-attack this tomorrow because it is bed time. However a couple quick things:

 

- I think the mentioning of art should be a sidebar

- I thought the Eldar attacking and then your guys winning was glossed over and could be more in depth

- I like how you view the Black Legion... you are honest about it

- I felt like bouncing between two worlds in two sections was a bit much. How would you feel about it being condensed onto one planet?

- I feel like your guys should have a Daemon Prince

 

OK. Enough for me. I look forward to more

 

PS. Slaanesh is a skirt wearing fancy she-male! ;)

 

Thanks. I agree about the planets thing. They have a daemon prince. He wasn't mention due to the same reason as the briefness of the Eldar incursion. I was under the opinion that the Indexes were to be briefish and I didn't want to go into more detail than required for two reasons. One, I want the reader to want to know more. Two, I intend to write my own fanfic for the Nephilim.

 

I always liked this IT. When you update it, I'll look it over.

 

BTW, welcome back.

 

Thanks Thirst. I've always appreciated your feedback. It's constructive and helps me out a lot.

Thanks. I agree about the planets thing. They have a daemon prince. He wasn't mention due to the same reason as the briefness of the Eldar incursion. I was under the opinion that the Indexes were to be briefish and I didn't want to go into more detail than required for two reasons. One, I want the reader to want to know more. Two, I intend to write my own fanfic for the Nephilim.

 

I think a Daemon Prince is a big deal. I know what you mean about wanting the reader to know more, and that is the trick of an IA. You want to put pretty much all of the big info in there, and leave the narrative story for the fanfic. I think you will have enough room if you condense your story to one planet. Remember: The body of your IA is pretty much facts. Side bars are teasers of the fluff. Your fanfic can get into the nitty gritty story. I want to hear they battled Eldar, uncovered ancient rituals, have a Daemon Prince, their world, etc. I think a sidebar of how they still get into art is great, and it whets the appettite for your fanfic. The the fanfic really creates their story.

Thanks. I agree about the planets thing. They have a daemon prince. He wasn't mention due to the same reason as the briefness of the Eldar incursion. I was under the opinion that the Indexes were to be briefish and I didn't want to go into more detail than required for two reasons. One, I want the reader to want to know more. Two, I intend to write my own fanfic for the Nephilim.

 

I think a Daemon Prince is a big deal. I know what you mean about wanting the reader to know more, and that is the trick of an IA. You want to put pretty much all of the big info in there, and leave the narrative story for the fanfic. I think you will have enough room if you condense your story to one planet. Remember: The body of your IA is pretty much facts. Side bars are teasers of the fluff. Your fanfic can get into the nitty gritty story. I want to hear they battled Eldar, uncovered ancient rituals, have a Daemon Prince, their world, etc. I think a sidebar of how they still get into art is great, and it whets the appettite for your fanfic. The the fanfic really creates their story.

 

Eventually, Samael ascends to daemonhood, but I didn't know if I should have had the IA progress that far. Should the IA be a current snapshot of where the warband is presently? How would I incorporate that into what I have without furhter damaging the continuity?

IMHO, I think they IA should be a completed projectof where they are right now. I don't think you rob anyone of anything if they know he ascends to Daemon Princedom. Everyone reads the HH novels and we ultimately know what happens. The devil is in the details and other cliches about writing.
Eventually, Samael ascends to daemonhood, but I didn't know if I should have had the IA progress that far. Should the IA be a current snapshot of where the warband is presently? How would I incorporate that into what I have without furhter damaging the continuity?

 

Hey, I was just wondering what happened to these guys. :P

Good to see you again, Neph.

 

As for your question, I think the IT should at least show something of where the Warband is in the present. You've still got a lot of history you could work with for your stories, and knowing about Samael's ascension beforehand isn't going to detract from any of it.

 

EDIT:, well, that took a long time to post. RG got there before me, and said everything I wanted to say, only more detailed and sensibly. Good job, that man. :P

Edited by Ace Debonair
I'll third that idea of the IT/IA should be a snapshot of where the Warband/Chapter is now - although that could depend on who's point of view your writing it from. IE, my Wraiths of Darkness IT is from the point of view from a scribe writing a basic history of the Wraiths of Darkness, with all the biases and lack of (or restricted and unknowable to anyone else) information.

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