Knights of Serath Posted February 4, 2010 Share Posted February 4, 2010 Hey guys just for practice and fun I am going to write a set of connected short stories about my chapter. I will post them here http://fanfluff.webs.com/Angels%20Revenant.pdf C&C can be left here and I do look forward to any C&C you have be it good bad or horrid I apreciate it. This is my first time writing marine style fiction so do feel free to poke holes. -Airborne Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lt. Smash Posted February 4, 2010 Share Posted February 4, 2010 Good stuff there Serath (I can call you that, right?), I'm a huge fan of 40k fiction fan made or otherwise. :lol: I think your story would run much better if you use capitals for thingd like Marines, Power Weapon and so on... Is this written for people who have not been imersed in 40k, 'cause you seem to have written it with some unessecary explaining eg. Bolter bit at the start. (Although there is nothing wrong with that, just curious...) Some of your terminology could use work to. I can't picture a Marine telling one of his men to "put a big hole right there" Aren't the Angels Revenant an offical chapter? Keep at it. ;) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Knights of Serath Posted February 4, 2010 Author Share Posted February 4, 2010 Hey thankyou for the kind words man. I do write to show people my stories who know little to nothing about 40k. I am not aware of the Angels Revenant being an official chapter but I guess it's possible. I apreciate your input man. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lt. Smash Posted February 4, 2010 Share Posted February 4, 2010 According to Lexicanium there is a Chapter listed only by name in Chapter Approved 2001. List of all Marine Chapters (Scroll Down) Theres no fluff on them offically at the moment... I hope thers no rule 'bout Links to Lexicanium... Always nice to be recognised for trying to help! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Knights of Serath Posted February 4, 2010 Author Share Posted February 4, 2010 Ahh dang. Well I guess I'll have to re name my chapter. How does the Revenants sound? Or the Knights Revenant or the Bolters Revenant? Which one do you like best. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lt. Smash Posted February 4, 2010 Share Posted February 4, 2010 Bolters Revenant sound the most original. Knights Revenant sound the coolest. How about the Revenant Angels? (Best to see what people other than me think!) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Knights of Serath Posted February 4, 2010 Author Share Posted February 4, 2010 Thanks for the input man. Does anybody else have an opinion? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Knights of Serath Posted February 4, 2010 Author Share Posted February 4, 2010 Just letting you guys know that my chapter fluff is up. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Solomon de Gravier Posted February 4, 2010 Share Posted February 4, 2010 It's good! The only thing I have to say is: "Draco. How cliched a name is that?" there you go. Finished. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Knights of Serath Posted February 4, 2010 Author Share Posted February 4, 2010 Thanks man I apreciate it. As far as the name goes it was late and my mind was fried. May I ask what your favorite part so far was? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Knights of Serath Posted February 6, 2010 Author Share Posted February 6, 2010 Just wanted to let everyone reading this to know I will update on sunday night at 10:00 P.M. Us Central time. In this update I will post at least one story maybe two If I get it finished on time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Knights of Serath Posted February 7, 2010 Author Share Posted February 7, 2010 I updated it to include the first half of one of the stories. By later tonight i will have two full stories posted. C&C please http://fanfluff.webs.com/Angels%20Revenant.pdf Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Knights of Serath Posted February 9, 2010 Author Share Posted February 9, 2010 Here is more chapter fluff http://www.bolterandchainsword.com/index.p...=191626&hl= Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Knights of Serath Posted February 9, 2010 Author Share Posted February 9, 2010 Update on latest story C&C PLEASE Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Knights of Serath Posted February 10, 2010 Author Share Posted February 10, 2010 Updated with another story. C&C please Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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