IA: Iron Angels

[Captain Juan Juarez]

Consolidating all new material into this post.

 

Homeworld

"Where you come from matters not. You will become as Jericia; cold, hard and unforgiving."

- Apothecary Hirrn.

 

The Chapter calls Jericia their home, the world lying between Cypra Mundi and Mordia.

 

Jericia is a world of mountains and valleys ,with the only significantly sized level area of land being the flattened mountain range where the Fortress-Monastery of the Chapter lays. The early history of Jericia is riven by tectonic activity, forging huge mountain ranges and significant valleys where the peoples of the world struggle to live out their lvies in service to the Imperium and the Chapter.

 

When the tectonic activity below the surface of the planet reached it pique, it inadvertantly set back the progress of the then unified Jerician population by generations; both in terms of population level and advancement.

As their once stable homeland finally set itself to rights, forming its current topography of mountain chains and valleys, so did another great change sweep through the core of Jerician society; some of the populace felt the call of the wilds and, as they had in ages past, turned to the wilderness to survive and build their lives. Those Houses who left to being their new lives were ostracized and at times even hunted by those who remained to rebuild the society they had always known.

As generations past, both strata of society went their own ways down the evolutionary track; the more civilized townsfolk developed less physically and advanced their more mental and emotional abilities - some suggest such evolution preceeded a wave of psyker activity upon the planet, but this has always been denied. The tribes were the opposite; their mental abilites keeping to a level of what was required, they were more cunning than intelligent but their physical prowess more than made up for these deficiencies when living in the wilds.

 

Over the course of centuries, that pique of physical being has slowly worked its way into the Chapter; at last census the ratio of tribesmen/mountain dwellers with the Chapter was almost 3:1; The physical toughness of a life eked out in almost barren terrain lending itself well to the traumas of survivng initiation into a Chapter of the Astartes. It by no means suggests that those who dwell in the mountain townships are unsuited for service, merely that their comparitively easier lives mean that they do no possess the across the board physical toughness of the tribesmen.

[Dark Apostle Thirst]

1. What the heck is the Cadre?

 

2. What the heck is an Executioner? Is it like a captain, or more like a Wolf Guard Battle Leader?

 

3. I wouldn't reccomend naming your homeworld Justicus. That's going a little to far.

 

However, that is merely personal opinion. I am sure others would disagree.

 

4. ""Justice is blind" is a saying that has echoed down the halls of the Chapter Fortress on Justicia for thousands of years and the Chapter takes this to extremes, each helmet used by the Brothers bears lenses made of no-reflective material that permits light to enter but allows none to exit when set correctly , thus taking away the usual "glow" of an Astartes helmet and giving the appearance of blindness."

 

Most blind people have white eyes, you might want to change that so that it reflects that.

 

It would also help on a painting level, you want the minis eyes to attract the attention. It just tends to make things more awesome.

 

5. "Unique amongst all the Chapters of the Astartes, The Just operate a number of Squads under the command of an officer title 'Executioner'. Each of these Squads is tasked with hunting a particulary problematic or deadly Traitor."

 

Not sure about this one. Are you trying to say that when the force gets to location x they split up and each squad goes and assisinates a Chaos leader?

 

 

But.... I like the idea. Flesh it out some more, review your mistakes, but I like it.

 

14/20

[Lt. Smash]

"Forgive you? Forgiveness is between you and the Emperor, it is my job to arrange that meeting."

- Executioner Horek, before slaying the renegade Raven Guard Sergeant Voraad.

 

Epic.

 

The exact date of the Founding of The Just is unknown, however they did begin to appear in Imperial records shortly after 659.M32.

The Chapter was founded in response to an increase in Trator Legion attacks in the area of space surrounding Cypra Mundi and it is rumoured that the Inquisition, most particularly the Ordo Hereticus, had a hand in its creation and this is somewhat borne out by the close links between the Chapter and the Inquisition.

 

So that would make them an old Chapter.

 

The beliefs of the Chapter tie in directly with their inception, the Chapter regards its duty as a dispenser of justice to the Traitor Legions in particular, but all rengade Astartes in actuality.

The Just hold three central tenents as the core of their beliefs; Courage, Honour and Justice. Of the three justice is the one most highly regarded, for a true son of the Just would sacrifice his honour or his courage to destroy a Traitor.

"Justice is blind" is a saying that has echoed down the halls of the Chapter Fortress on Justicia for thousands of years and the Chapter takes this to extremes, each helmet used by the Brothers bears lenses made of no-reflective material that permits light to enter but allows none to exit when set correctly , thus taking away the usual "glow" of an Astartes helmet and giving the appearance of blindness.

 

How do you sacrifice courage?

 

The Chapter calls the world of Justicia their homeworld, the world laying between the worlds of Cypra Mundi and Mordia.

Justicia is a cold, hard world of stone and ore that is uninhabited but for the Chapter Fortress of The Just and a few scattered colonies of rock lizards.

 

More would be nice.

 

The Just are Codex adherent in combat doctrine favouring no particular style of warfare, prefering instead to use the best tool for a particular situation.

That being said, the Chapter do have a noted preference for inantry warfare but will never ignore the use of armour to achieve their aims.

 

Plain!!!

 

The Just maintain very close links with the Inquisiton due to their mandate regarding the hunting of the Traitor Legions, but have fairly neutral relationships with other organisations like the Adeptus Mechanicus.

 

I don't think the neutral relationships part is important. Most Organisations in 40k exist on a neutral basis.

 

The genessed of the Chapter is an uncomfirmed rumour, which neither the Chapter nor anyone else in a position to know will comment on.

It is rumoured that the Chapter was formed with original Imperial Fist Legion geneseed and this rumour some consideration when taking into account the dour and implaccable nature of The Just.

 

P'raps, Inquisitorial censorship?

 

"And Justice For All!"

Roared as the Battle-Brothers charge into combat.

 

I dunno. I think it would be cooler to have: "Death to Chaos!" Chaplain Only. "And Justice for All!" Reply All.

 

The Battle of the Drift - Executioner Horek and his Cadre successfully slay the Champion of Khorne Vishkar the Dread after a forty day running battle through the streets of the capital of Verdin Prime.

 

Sarok's Folly - Captain Sarok and his Second Company rout a force of the Black Legion many times their own size using sudden and repeated charges. However in the final charge that breaks the Black Legion Sarok is grieviously wounded and his last words are "My service to the Throne is not at an end!".

Weeks later, Sarok awakes inside the hull of a precious Dreadnaught having retained the command of his Company; a command he would keep for another seventy-three years until the entire Dreadnaught was vapourized by a Traitor Titan.

 

Why the Battle of the Drift?

 

Lord Justice Virtok - Chapter Master

Marshal Tirek - First Company Commander

Executioner Horek - Chief Executioner and leader of the First Cadre.

Veteran Sergeant Rorek - Chapter Standard Bearer

Ancient Vortak - Former Lord Justice and advisor.

 

Excuse my ignorance, but are these names based on particular culture?

Rorek and Horek. Tsk, Tsk. One of them should be renamed.

 

This is all highly opinonated, and I wish you could luck with this most unusal (In a good way) of chapters.

[Brother_Kaelgrim]

*cracks knuckles* Alrighty. Lets begin.

 

First off, you are Codex adherent for fighting, but not for organization?

Second, how are you getting by with the 1300 marines? Its not a terribly bad thing, but it might make some people a bit nervous in the Imperium and you aren't a Second Founding chapter.

 

The Gene-seed section needs to be gutted and reworded.

How about...

"The exact origins of the chapter's gene-seed are unknown. Rumours persist of their origins lying with the Imperial Fists and the implacable nature of the chapter lends credence to this."

 

Homeworld name needs reworking...Justicia is just plain laziness really. Perhaps find a faux latin version that would at least sound like gothic.

 

I would rework the Inquisition links to be more with the Ordo Malleus or Hereticus, as you deal with Chaos and Renegades. Perhaps a few individual Inquisitors work with the chapter on a regular basis to help things along.

 

Final recommendations: drop the codex fighting tactics as you really don't follow the codex otherwise. Describe the fondness for infantry and small scale engagments (as heretic hunting would be). The Justice Is Blind aspect is good, expand on that. I'm not sure secrecy of any sort is good for this chapter, as you hunt down secretive heretics and should be a pure light to the Imperium. Let Inquisitors handle the shifty eye sneaky approach. Other than that, really just flesh out the chapter a bit more.

 

Ok, sorry for the whipping but I flog because I care. Or because the EMPEROR WILLS IT!

[Captain Juan Juarez]

Changes have been made, along with some rewording..

[Lt. Smash]

Well, I'm satisfied.

 

Good work, and make sure you get some more done soon mmkay?

 

Nice Color Scheme to BTW!

 

Oh yeah, considered the Iron Gaunlet?

[Ace Debonair]

In total, including Aspirants, the Just muster approximately 1300 Astartes.The Chapter maintains nine full strength Battle Companies and a single, double strength, First (Veteran) Company. However the First Company rarely serves as a whole, rather detachments being assigned to Battle Company formations.

Aspirants of the Chapter do not go into Combat until implanted with their Black Carapace, at which point they undergo the rigourous "training exercises" that new found Brothers must endure.

 

Why the huge chapter?

Why the double-size veteran company? (And I take it you have a double size scout company, just to round it off - otherwise I don't know where the other 100 marines go.:lol: )

Pretty much all the other DIY chapters have 100 veterans and 1,000 marines. There are very few good reasons to go over that limit, other than to make your chapter appear more awesome.

 

Apart from that, not too bad. I'd change the name of the homeworld to something that doesn't use the word "just" anywhere in the name, but that's a personal preference.

[Dosjetka]

In total, including Aspirants, the Just muster approximately 1300 Astartes.The Chapter maintains nine full strength Battle Companies and a single, double strength, First (Veteran) Company. However the First Company rarely serves as a whole, rather detachments being assigned to Battle Company formations.

Aspirants of the Chapter do not go into Combat until implanted with their Black Carapace, at which point they undergo the rigourous "training exercises" that new found Brothers must endure.

 

Why the huge chapter?

Why the double-size veteran company? (And I take it you have a double size scout company, just to round it off - otherwise I don't know where the other 100 marines go.:lol: )

Pretty much all the other DIY chapters have 100 veterans and 1,000 marines. There are very few good reasons to go over that limit, other than to make your chapter appear more awesome.

 

Apart from that, not too bad. I'd change the name of the homeworld to something that doesn't use the word "just" anywhere in the name, but that's a personal preference.

I'm wondering the same...

 

"Forgive you? Forgiveness is between you and the Emperor, it is my job to arrange that meeting."

- Executioner Horek, before slaying the renegade Raven Guard Sergeant Voraad.

I love that :cry:

 

I personally don't really like their Chapter name..."The Just"...to me it doesn't sound right...it has no spark to it, like other Chapter names have...(this is all personal opinion BTW)

 

Good work and I can't wait to see more!

 

BBL

[Cale]

Remember that most chapters, including scouts, drivers, the command structure, command squads, the Librarium, and the Apothecarium, often come to eleven or twelve hundred Marines, nominally. 1300 isn't really all that over-sized.

[Dark Apostle Thirst]

1. What the heck is the Cadre?

 

2. What the heck is an Executioner? Is it like a captain, or more like a Wolf Guard Battle Leader?

 

3. ""Justice is blind" is a saying that has echoed down the halls of the Chapter Fortress on Justicia for thousands of years and the Chapter takes this to extremes, each helmet used by the Brothers bears lenses made of no-reflective material that permits light to enter but allows none to exit when set correctly , thus taking away the usual "glow" of an Astartes helmet and giving the appearance of blindness."

 

Most blind people have white eyes, you might want to change that so that it reflects that.

 

It would also help on a painting level, you want the minis eyes to attract the attention. It just tends to make things more awesome.

 

4. "Unique amongst all the Chapters of the Astartes, The Just operate a number of Squads under the command of an officer title 'Executioner'. Each of these Squads is tasked with hunting a particulary problematic or deadly Traitor."

 

Not sure about this one. Are you trying to say that when the force gets to location x they split up and each squad goes and assisinates a Chaos leader?

 

 

But.... I like the idea. Flesh it out some more, review your mistakes, but I like it.

[Captain Juan Juarez]

In total, including Aspirants, the Just muster approximately 1300 Astartes.The Chapter maintains nine full strength Battle Companies and a single, double strength, First (Veteran) Company. However the First Company rarely serves as a whole, rather detachments being assigned to Battle Company formations.

Aspirants of the Chapter do not go into Combat until implanted with their Black Carapace, at which point they undergo the rigourous "training exercises" that new found Brothers must endure.

 

Why the huge chapter?

Why the double-size veteran company? (And I take it you have a double size scout company, just to round it off - otherwise I don't know where the other 100 marines go.:lol: )

Pretty much all the other DIY chapters have 100 veterans and 1,000 marines. There are very few good reasons to go over that limit, other than to make your chapter appear more awesome.

 

Apart from that, not too bad. I'd change the name of the homeworld to something that doesn't use the word "just" anywhere in the name, but that's a personal preference.

I'm wondering the same...

 

As stated by Brother Cale, if you take into cosideration every member of the Astartes then you get around 1100-1200 roughly; I believe theres a Librarium article on the composition of a Chapter?

 

"Forgive you? Forgiveness is between you and the Emperor, it is my job to arrange that meeting."

- Executioner Horek, before slaying the renegade Raven Guard Sergeant Voraad.

I love that :P

 

I would love to say I came up with it.. But I merely altered a Denzel Washington line from Man On Fire!

 

I personally don't really like their Chapter name..."The Just"...to me it doesn't sound right...it has no spark to it, like other Chapter names have...(this is all personal opinion BTW)

 

Its all to do with the central theme of justice.. The bring justice to the traitorous and so they are just.

It would be interesting to consider a civil war in a Chapter with such a strong central tenent.

 

Good work and I can't wait to see more!

 

BBL

[War Angel]

i have a problem with the fact that its not known when they where made, but you know who made the order and why the order was made.

 

you might as well have said that during the 20th founding there was a growing amount of gene stealer cults, so youre chapter was made, but where not exatly sure when it was made.

 

you might want to change it to somthing like "though it is unknown when the chapter was founded, earlest records dateing back to "Blah" it is speculated that the chapter was created to search and destroy chaos trator legions."

just a thought.

 

Ps. im begining to wonder if this is more and more like a dark angel chapter, searching for fallen angels, and having a large veterans unit... even having exicutionars.

[Captain Juan Juarez]

i have a problem with the fact that its not known when they where made, but you know who made the order and why the order was made.

 

you might as well have said that during the 20th founding there was a growing amount of gene stealer cults, so youre chapter was made, but where not exatly sure when it was made.

 

you might want to change it to somthing like "though it is unknown when the chapter was founded, earlest records dateing back to "Blah" it is speculated that the chapter was created to search and destroy chaos trator legions."

just a thought.

 

Ps. im begining to wonder if this is more and more like a dark angel chapter, searching for fallen angels, and having a large veterans unit... even having exicutionars.

 

They know roughly the founding period, which can be extrapolated from the time they first began to appear in Imperial records and the why is always obvious: because more Astartes were needed. In this case it was traitor legion attacks that caused the creation rather than anything else, and this helps tie in with their beliefs.

Again, extrapolating from said records that the Chapter engaged Traitor forces in the beginning leads to the reason for their creation.. Without it implicitly stating all of that.

 

I can see the Dark Angel connection, but I'm not a DA fan and also it's less to do with the shame of the DA that causes them to hunt their Fallen and more to do with the need to serve justice against those who betrayed the cause.

[Ace Debonair]

Still, I am left wondering.

How come you get a double-size veteran company? What does this add to the chapter other than the 'awesomeness' of having twice as many veterans as everyone else?

 

My previous comment about numbers was also made on the understanding that a lot of folks state the number of fighters in their chapter rather than including support staff.

[Captain Juan Juarez]

Still, I am left wondering.

How come you get a double-size veteran company? What does this add to the chapter other than the 'awesomeness' of having twice as many veterans as everyone else?

 

My previous comment about numbers was also made on the understanding that a lot of folks state the number of fighters in their chapter rather than including support staff.

 

Why...? Because it is something a little different that doesn't add anything spectacular, but also doesnt detract from the central concepts.

And lets face it, you learn in a hurry when fight other Marines.

 

I don't subscribe to the concept of "awesome". My IAs are designed to work on the premise of one of those "basic" Chapters with a few quirks to make them original without trying to be as "good" as that which GW produces.

 

1300. by the way, does not include Chapter serfs, merely anyone who is a Space Marine or seeks to be one, and Aspirant.

[War Angel]

aspirants, the kids who havnt become marines yet but are trying to? makes more sense.

 

all that stuff you said in response to me, That should be in youre IA.

[Captain Juan Juarez]

all that stuff you said in response to me, That should be in youre IA.

 

I was going for infering it rather than outright stating it, but I can see the point!

[Ace Debonair]

I don't subscribe to the concept of "awesome". My IAs are designed to work on the premise of one of those "basic" Chapters with a few quirks to make them original without trying to be as "good" as that which GW produces.

 

I'm glad to hear that!

 

But you have to understand, the first company is always made up of the best marines in the chapter. Getting there is usually a difficult task indeed - they are the elite of the elite. Having a company that consist of twice as many veterans as other DIY chapters suggests that more of your marines are capable of achieving that coveted status, and in turn, that your chapter is better than most.

Including any GW chapters that only have 100 veterans.

 

It's not an original idea, sadly. The reason you don't see it on the boards here so much is because myself and others tend to talk people out of having bigger chapters with more veterans, for all the same reasons. I empathize, though. It's a pain coming up with good, original ideas sometimes.

 

If I may be brutally honest, the Just don't need a flashy, double-large veteran company. It doesn't add anything but controversy to the chapter.

You've got a chapter with some strong, disciplined characteristics. Having less veterans because the trials to be inducted into the ranks of the 1st company are so fierce, though... :pirate:

[Captain Juan Juarez]

I don't subscribe to the concept of "awesome". My IAs are designed to work on the premise of one of those "basic" Chapters with a few quirks to make them original without trying to be as "good" as that which GW produces.

 

I'm glad to hear that!

 

But you have to understand, the first company is always made up of the best marines in the chapter. Getting there is usually a difficult task indeed - they are the elite of the elite. Having a company that consist of twice as many veterans as other DIY chapters suggests that more of your marines are capable of achieving that coveted status, and in turn, that your chapter is better than most.

Including any GW chapters that only have 100 veterans.

 

It's not an original idea, sadly. The reason you don't see it on the boards here so much is because myself and others tend to talk people out of having bigger chapters with more veterans, for all the same reasons. I empathize, though. It's a pain coming up with good, original ideas sometimes.

 

If I may be brutally honest, the Just don't need a flashy, double-large veteran company. It doesn't add anything but controversy to the chapter.

You've got a chapter with some strong, disciplined characteristics. Having less veterans because the trials to be inducted into the ranks of the 1st company are so fierce, though... :pirate:

 

I don't think it's flashy though... Thats like saying no Chapter has over a thousand Marines, well they more or less all do and some more than others, a la the Black Templars.

 

See, you are dissecting things too much... Firstly, the founding date of the Chapter makes them old and secondly they actively seek out Traitor Marines and in my opinion thats the hardest foe to fight.

 

And old Chapter who take on the toughest foes seems like a breeding ground for Veterans.

 

Also, I never alluded to the double-strength 1st Company being original, but it is a quirk.

[War Angel]

you would have less. veterans are the results of having survived hundreds of battles on hundreds of warzones. the harder the foe you fight, the more youre men will die. veterans are the outcome of survival, they are not made by the nessisity of needing tougher fighters.

 

just my two cents on that. you might want to move in a direction of having youre veterans spread out amongst the battle companys, maybe even not having them be a part of any company's roster (100 normal battle brothers per company, 1000 total, then 100 +/- a few Veterans spreed out and attached to each company.)

 

by the way, codex armies use veteran sgts in all there squads... though not a member of the Veteran company, they ARE veterans... something to think about.

[Captain Juan Juarez]

you would have less. veterans are the results of having survived hundreds of battles on hundreds of warzones. the harder the foe you fight, the more youre men will die. veterans are the outcome of survival, they are not made by the nessisity of needing tougher fighters.

 

just my two cents on that. you might want to move in a direction of having youre veterans spread out amongst the battle companys, maybe even not having them be a part of any company's roster (100 normal battle brothers per company, 1000 total, then 100 +/- a few Veterans spreed out and attached to each company.)

 

by the way, codex armies use veteran sgts in all there squads... though not a member of the Veteran company, they ARE veterans... something to think about.

 

In part you are wrong.. Wolf Guard in the SW are veterans, but even a Blood Claw can be elevated to the WG.

 

I have been rethink keeping the double-strength first company, a la the First Cohort of a Roman Legion, but having the Vets spread through the Chapter.

[Captain Juan Juarez]

Ok, I have succumbed.

 

I decided to change the First Company part, as "because its not impossible" is not a good enough reason to keep it. The First is still double strength though, as I like that quirk.

[Ace Debonair]

Alright, that's looking a bit more reasonable around the organization.

By the Emperor, you took some convincing. Your last name wouldn't happen to be Dorn, would it? :ph34r:

 

Just a couple of spelling/continuity errors I picked up on.

 

The Chapter calls Jericia their homeworld, the world laying between the worlds of Cypra Mundi and Mordia, and it is interesting to note that the world originally bore another name that has been lost to the halls of time, the Chapter designating it Juericia at some unknown point in the past.

Justicia is a cold, hard world of stone is uninhabited but for the Chapter Fortress of The Just and a few scattered colonies of rock lizards.

 

The Just have no bas towards any particular style of warfare, maintaining an ability to conduct all types of combat to a high standard whilst lacking the total specialisation found in a Chapter like the White Scars or Blood Angels.

The Chapter has a preference for infantry warfare, in keeping with small force and small unit tactics that are a central part of the Battle-Brothers training, as they spend their time hunting Traitors wherever they may be, often in places where armour cannot go. Though The Just do maintain a full Chapter Armoury, ready to use the power of their Predators or Land Raiders whenever they are required.

 

It's also a bit odd that you talk about unknown geneseed in the Geneseed section then tell us The Just are probably IF successors.

You don't need unknown geneseed either, in this case. Your boys practically have "Son of Dorn" stamped on their foreheads.

 

Keep up the good work! :)

[Captain Juan Juarez]

The only reason the origin of the geneseed is 'unknow' is because i insinuate.. in a really unsubtle way.. that it may have come from the original Legion.

[Captain Juan Juarez]

There is nothing here.