IA: Iron Angels

[Captain Juan Juarez]

Colour scheme has me stumped, as there isnt anything in my mind that fits the Chapter - colour wise anyway.

The Just had a quite dull/dour scheme that fit but that wouldnt work here.

Maybe, based on my love of purple, something like:

[Walter Payton]

I like the scheme, it stands out.

[Captain Juan Juarez]

I like the scheme, it stands out.

 

My only problem is that it doesn't scream "Iron Angels" but then i don't want to go down the dull grey route.

[Walter Payton]

In that case, how about a shining silver metallic scheme with purple shoulderpads? Alternatively, you could try quartering or halving silver with purple, but what you have is fine. :tu:

[Captain Juan Juarez]

In that case, how about a shining silver metallic scheme with purple shoulderpads? Alternatively, you could try quartering or halving silver with purple, but what you have is fine. :tu:

 

I'm not a fan of quartering or halving, so I'm going to stick with it I think.

[Walter Payton]

In that case, how about a shining silver metallic scheme with purple shoulderpads? Alternatively, you could try quartering or halving silver with purple, but what you have is fine. :tu:

 

I'm not a fan of quartering or halving, so I'm going to stick with it I think.

 

Cool, I like it a lot!

[Captain Juan Juarez]

So thats the scheme added in.. All I can think to add is a sidebar regarding the tome that lists all the debts of honour.

[Ace Debonair]

EDIT:

 

Removed pictures, as per my given word.

[Captain Juan Juarez]

Ace, this is the reason you're in the Index Astartes Pantheon... I actually like them all better than my own version!

 

Number One makes better use of white.

Number Two my only problem is the rust red.

Number Three I like the sort of stealth-ish/cloud colour with the hints of purple.

 

Is this payback for the RG/Chaos thing? ;)

[Ace Debonair]

Is this payback for the RG/Chaos thing? ;)

 

Would I do something like that?

 

...Probably better if you don't answer that question.

 

EDIT:

 

Removed pictures as per earlier edict.

 

Capn' Juan has made his decision. ;)

[Grey Hunter Ydalir]

Ace, this is the reason you're in the Index Astartes Pantheon... I actually like them all better than my own version!

 

So just which deity does he represent? Just to be thorough, who do the rest of us represent as well?

 

I'm very curious. And someone should draw a picture for good effect.

 

Looking better than it did, though I think purple doesn't suit the name very well in my humble opinion.

 

 

...Probably better if you don't answer that question.

 

Since I have no fear of the gentle-giant that is Ace, I'll say yes. Not so gentle perhaps.... ;)

[Captain Juan Juarez]

Ace, this is the reason you're in the Index Astartes Pantheon... I actually like them all better than my own version!

 

So just which deity does he represent? Just to be thorough, who do the rest of us represent as well?

 

I'm very curious. And someone should draw a picture for good effect.

 

Looking better than it did, though I think purple doesn't suit the name very well in my humble opinion.

 

Actually, inclusion is dependant upon the help you have given me during both construction processes as well as the talent you all posses... ;)

 

I don't think purple does either, but i had no better idea.. I'm actually leaning towards the number three, in terms of the design Ace put forward - i like the sort of simulated cloud effect; good camoflauge when you're dropping in on a jump pack.

 

EDIT: Ace the second design, of the new ones, but with a purple skull would be brilliant... Not that I'm picky.

[Ace Debonair]

Then steal the scheme you like most and make whichever edits you see fit. ;)

 

Once you've done so I'll get rid of them so they're not clogging up the page.

 

As far as which deity I represent, I hope it's not one of the Chaos Gods. I had a falling out with them a few years back over the mess they made when visiting my secret caves. ;)

[Captain Juan Juarez]

Then steal the scheme you like most and make whichever edits you see fit. ;)

 

Once you've done so I'll get rid of them so they're not clogging up the page.

 

As far as which deity I represent, I hope it's not one of the Chaos Gods. I had a falling out with them a few years back over the mess they made when visiting my secret caves. ;)

 

Scheme robbed, with a slight alteration - the skull and hand colour; appreciation sir!

 

 

So, loyalists and traitors, ladies and gentlemen, any further thoughts?

-As mentioned previously, i'm think side bar to explain the great book of debts for the finale.

[Dark Apostle Thirst]

'Creeps in'

 

The only thing I would suggest is making the entire thing a tad bit darker - but it's great as is.

 

You said you added some stuff? I'll go look over that as well... be back in a minute...

[Captain Juan Juarez]

'Creeps in'

 

The only thing I would suggest is making the entire thing a tad bit darker - but it's great as is.

 

You said you added some stuff? I'll go look over that as well... be back in a minute...

 

I've changed the Origins, as well as the grav side of the homeworld section, and added in with the beliefs to calrify a bit better.

 

To be honest, I like the new scheme immensely; its got that dark-ish tone in the grey, along with the light cloud-ish white and that one splash of colour in the purple.

[Ace Debonair]

Well, I keep track of my own list of colours on the SM painter, named after the sides who use them. (You don't want to know)

 

I used silver and grey for the light and dark bits respectively, but white would also work well. ;)

I see you also de-purpled the stomach. :P

 

The new origins bit is fairly good, by the by. I like the fact the guy's big challenge to the AdMech gets him nowhere fast. Nice touch.

[Dark Apostle Thirst]

"Captain Garr, late of the Doom Eagles Fourth Company"

 

Sounds like he's dead when he started.

 

"Captain Garr, late of the Doom Eagles Fourth Company, would be responsible for shepherding the Iron Angels through their formative years, becoming the officialy recognised Chapter Master following the Fifth Companies successful completion, was always noted as an Astartes who favoured discipline over all else; his intolerence of Imperial Guard regiments was cited on many occasions."

 

That sentence is way too long.

 

"As a world Jericia meant nothing to the Captain, instead it was its people that would see him declare Jericia the home of the Iron Angels".

 

I could have sworn that's how it was anyways... :P

 

I know what your trying to say, but put something more along the lines of "they shared a common veiwpoint in honor".

 

"For a Marine as discipline as Captain Garr"

 

disciplined

 

"For a Marine as discipline as Captain Garr the world Jericia was almost like a form of bliss; the people tough and hardy, disciplined beyond what he had come to expect of unaugmented Humans and following a code the Garr could readily identify with."

 

Ignore what I said above; but the things about the Homeworld that I commented on need to be removed. Otherwise they become repetitive.

 

"The first setback was not long in coming for the Iron Angels"

 

That's like saying "the necessary devastation of my chapter to justify x came predictably soon"

 

"Garr and his fledgling Iron Angels were not to be disappoint"

 

dissapointed

 

"Captain Garr refused to

urrender is honour"

 

surrender and remove the enter typo

 

"The Chapter has never sacrificed its allies, nor harmed a friend; in fact there have been occurences of harsh words between the Iron Angels and other Chapters over their allegiences and the strength of their convictions"

 

Never harmed them phiscaly (or however you spell that 'grumble grumble'), but it sounds like you gave them a verbal lesson that they won't forget.

 

 

And... that's it.

[Captain Juan Juarez]

I used silver and grey for the light and dark bits respectively, but white would also work well. ;)

I see you also de-purpled the stomach.

- I prefered white because the silver I got on the painter was crap, but i think white works well.. Plus i didn't want to go for too much purple!

 

The new origins bit is fairly good, by the by. I like the fact the guy's big challenge to the AdMech gets him nowhere fast. Nice touch.

- Yeah, Octavulg inspired me - however inadvertantly -with that idea.

Its all "This is our planet, I'll kill you rather than let you have it.." and then "But the Emperor says..." :P

[Captain Juan Juarez]

Dark Apostle Thirst, the errors with enter come from using Word Wrap on Notepad - I've stopped using Word.

 

"Late" also means "formerly", so yes it can mean dead but it works as is.

 

For you other points.. I'm looking into them now!

 

EDIT: Errors corrected, but I have left in "late" because as I've said, it works.

 

For now, thats my lot as I'm at work and have to be on shift again at 8am - Any further crits or advice guys, post 'em up and I'll get back to you tomorrow.

[Grey Hunter Ydalir]

secret caves.

 

Dare I ask, Ace?

 

Dark Apostle Thirst, the errors with enter come from using Word Wrap on Notepad - I've stopped using Word.

 

Word can be an unremitting pain in the behind sometimes, I feel your pain.

 

Also to your self-professed lack of talent with IA's, did you see what I wrote in your now killed-very-dead thread? It takes practice (which means failure, more personal than popular with IA's) and hard work. Not least is the fact that you seem to have done fairly well so far with the Iron Angels. It's good work so treat it as such!

 

As I've said before - which I should actually stop saying, really - I've been here for a few years and haven't gotten an IA in the Librarium, much to my eternal dissapointment. As people have said as well, the pieces have all been there with more than a few chapters but it was my own choice (no matter how influenced by outside events) to either put them on hold or let them die that stopped them from achieving what I meant for them.

 

Just keep in mind that it's a hard slog and don't give up so easily.

 

This pep-talk is also here to cover the fact that I am feeling rather tired after yet another sleepless night and haven't got any useful insights into your IA as such to post right now, apologies for the lack of useful content CJJ.

[Captain Juan Juarez]

Just keep in mind that it's a hard slog and don't give up so easily.

 

This pep-talk is also here to cover the fact that I am feeling rather tired after yet another sleepless night and haven't got any useful insights into your IA as such to post right now, apologies for the lack of useful content CJJ.

 

You're always full of words of wisdom!

 

My tactical plan changed when I started on the Iron Angels - Now it's about having a "finished" IA that I can get some fiction out of, with a "if I can get it in the Librarium, then great" tacked on to the end.

[Dosjetka]

For the colour scheme, I personally think that a silver and purple one would look really nice! (purple shoulder-pads, knee-pads and lenses. The shoulder trim should be orange if you decide not to do company colours). :blink:

[Captain Juan Juarez]

For the colour scheme, I personally think that a silver and purple one would look really nice! (purple shoulder-pads, knee-pads and lenses. The shoulder trim should be orange if you decide not to do company colours). :P

 

I actually had the idea that Company colour is denoted by the colour of the gauntlets - Just a small deviation, but quirky I think.

[Dosjetka]

For the colour scheme, I personally think that a silver and purple one would look really nice! (purple shoulder-pads, knee-pads and lenses. The shoulder trim should be orange if you decide not to do company colours). :D

 

I actually had the idea that Company colour is denoted by the colour of the gauntlets - Just a small deviation, but quirky I think.

But do you like the idea of the colour scheme?