Defence of Forge Tarl

[Custodian Athiair]

you guess very correctly Mr Skirax ;)

although to clear up (which i thought i had done in the previous chapter) Mordeci is in fact the 2nd in Command.

Primus is the head of the regiment and his name. in the future of the regiment when the original Primus dies. i personaly will probably have the "Primus" title be taken by each new commander -replacing their old name.

 

i hope that has cleared things up :)

yes it will be clear soon btw. i just have to "fine-tune" it :)

 

Athiair :)

[Skirax]

If I was you, I'd have every Primus successor to be like the Forgefathers of the Salamanders - For example, He'stan became Vulkan He'stan as he took the original Forge Father's name - but you already know that :)

[Custodian Athiair]

will do :P i'm still spectualting about how to end my story, just the fine details really

but the next chapter i have ready (but not typed :/) stupid (fun) DofE

 

as i said i will try and get the next chapter up by next weekend :), but no promises with: a Spanish Written exam, a German Oral exam, a Drama Performance and a load of exams to revise for coming up.

 

i will try guys. but a little treat for you guys the Iron Warriors are around :)

 

Athiair ;)

[Ufthak]

German??? You're actually learning German in school?

Sorry...am just so surprised because many people tend to view it as an ugly Nazi language which is past its time and pretty useless nowadays...but I'm happy to see someone still learning it :) Hoffe du lernst schnell und dass es dir Spaß macht, mein Freund! ;)

 

Looking forward to the next chapter, if there really are gonna be Iron Warriors around *whoohooo!* - even though I really really hate the buggers (but not quite as much as the Word Bearers...)

 

So when Price faces an Iron Warrior Space Marine it'll be pretty much like him facing a juggernaught on MW2 :P

[Skirax]

Qu'est-ce que ton matiere preferee a l'ecole? Pourqoi?

 

Sorry, bit of French :P

[Ufthak]

Erm..."Why is it that you prefer your material rather than school? For what?"

Something like that? :rolleyes: I don't know french, I just derived as much from spanish, italian and latin...

 

@skirax: you learn it in school too or are you french/french canadian?

 

Back to the story...so if there'll be Iron Warriors will there also be many many tanks and big guns? *weeee* :)

[Brother Gathurn]

This is a great read! I hope marines come in soon though... would hate to see it ended. By the way it would be a good idea to try and edit all of the completed chapters into the origonal post so newcomers like me can read it all at once.

[Skirax]

I'm GCSE French at the minute, and it actually mean, 'What is your favourite lesson at school? Why?' :cuss

 

Althiair, take your time, you've got a lot of exams so we're not rushing you :mellow:

[Ufthak]

*headslam* Durr... :lol:

[Custodian Athiair]

ok sorry guys i have been uterly swamped with school work right now, exams and the like. and i now have started my English creative writing section. and i am going to have to divert my writing time to that project now. and i can't use this becuase our teacher wants it around 3 pages. this is already about 3 and nowhere near the end ;)

 

so i am sorry but this is going to have to go on hold i thank you all for what you have said up to this moment.

the english project should be over in 2 weeks if you can wait that long ;)

 

thanks and sorry :)

 

Athiair :)

[Ufthak]

I can wait :)

 

And in any case, as dull as it sounds, school is more important than the story, so give all you can and then, when you have more time, continue with it ;)

[Dark.Fire]

La douleur est comme un fer marquant dans ma tete. C'est affreux!

 

Umm, though I'd join in the French having taken my last French exam (GCSE) a year ago :o.

 

Anyway, enjoying the read so far, especially coming from a fellow teenager. Be careful not to seize the chance to reveal something of Price's past too often, the last passage was a little guilty of that, reveal them as subtle gems, and not in the middle of fierce combat.

 

Involve more of the senses. Lasgun shots leave behind a sharp smell of ozone. Acrid tang of smoke catches at the back of a throat. And so on. VAry description sometimes as well - specific example being the shot that burned into the back of his leg. The skin burned...

 

Hope that gives a few pointers anyway, and I feel your pain with exam and deadline probs. Although technically I'm out of school 'til Tuesday and my last exam is the only one left, and in 9 days. heheh :lol: The benefits of AS.

 

Keep writing!