IA: Infinity Knights

[Ace Debonair]

Update!

 

The homeworld has a few shiny new bits that need examining for mistakes, if anyone is up to the task. ;)

 

When we were working on the DIY Winter challenge, one of the bits that got through involved my Infinity Knights working with the Obsidian Hunters.

This, in turn, featured a type of curved, scimitar-esque chainsword called the Mayneson-pattern Chainsword. While I'd really like to get it mentioned in this IA, I don't think there's much room for it.

 

Probably when I think of content for a sidebar, I'll equip any IK characters therein with Maynesons.

Actually, there'll probably be one sidebar reserved for the Gehenna/Perditia/Whatever Campaign with the Death Heads/Executors... but that'll have to wait until we've ironed out some of the details therein.

 

This is just me making notes so I know where I'm up to, in all honesty.

The first two lines are the important ones, the rest is just there so I don't forget about it. :lol:

[Madwolf Shadowmane]

No mistakes I can find. I like the wandering hedge doctor spin you put on the Apothecaries. Looks good overall. Still seems a little short overall. Can't seem to put my finger on why, but when I read it there seems to be a need for "more".

 

Madwolf

[Ace Debonair]

No mistakes I can find. I like the wandering hedge doctor spin you put on the Apothecaries. Looks good overall. Still seems a little short overall. Can't seem to put my finger on why, but when I read it there seems to be a need for "more".

 

Madwolf

 

It's definitely a bit short, I agree.

The History bit is alright, but I could probably spend some more time playing with the other sections.

 

I'm not sure where to expand, though, so once again the door for suggestions is set to 'wide open'. :lol:

[Ecritter]

I have but a few things to say about the homeworld.

 

"We Fremen have a saying: "God created Arakis to train the faithful." One cannot go against the word of God."

 

"I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when my fear is gone I will turn and face fear's path, and only I will remain."

 

"He who controls the Spice, controls the universe!"

 

Is that the feel you're going for?

[Ace Debonair]

Is that the feel you're going for?

 

If that's from Dune, then no. Not intentionally. :ermm:

Which is to say, I've never read the books. Presuming there's more than one.

 

I gather it's set in a desert climate, and that's about the only link I know of.

If I've ripped off the world from that, I'm going to be quite embarassed, because it darn sure wasn't intentional. :pinch:

 

That said; perhaps if I run out of workable ideas, I can do a little research and see if I can hijack some stuff find inspiration from Dune. Good thinking. ^_^

[Octavulg]

Dude. Read Dune, already.

[Heru]

Dude. Read Dune, already.

I tried to read Dune once... and I watched the movie. :sick:

[Ace Debonair]

Dude. Read Dune, already.

I tried to read Dune once... and I watched the movie. ;)

 

Mixed messages, for sure. :P

 

I'll bite the bullet and do my research next time I have chance.

Hopefully it doesn't put me off having a desert-climate world.

Edited May 17, 2011 by Ace Debonair

[Octavulg]

I'm not going to lie to you: don't read anything after Dune, with the POSSIBLE exception of Children of Dune. But read Dune. It is a classic. You don't have to like it - you do have to read it.

[Aqui]

Dude. Read Dune, already.

I tried to read Dune once... and I watched the movie. :tu:

 

Mixed messages, for sure. ^_^

 

I'll bite the bullet and do my research next time I have chance.

Hopefully it doesn't put me off having a desert-climate world.

 

There are other Sci-fi Desert worlds you know ;)

 

Of course on one famous one, you could hit Womprats in a T-16 :P

 

Or rescue your impetuous Space Pirate friend from a fate worse than Carbonite.... ;)

[NightrawenII]

Well, since the Sardaukar was one of inspirational models for Space Marine, I think it will be good to read the book.

 

Anyway:

History

Created in the 9th Founding, the Infinity Knights were blessed with the geneseed of Rouboute Guilliman via his sons the Ultramarines. Their given mission was straightforward - reinforce the Imperial presence in the area of space north of the Storm of the Emperor's Wrath.

- The Storm of the Emperor's Wrath appeared in late M36.

 

Homeworld

An old Asharan tradition amongst the city-dwellers is that dead warriors are buried in the valleys that run between the mountains, their graves marked by a spear drven into the ground.

- driven.

 

In homage, perhaps, to that tradition, whenever a Company returns to Ashar, any dead Infinity Knights are buried in vast caverns beneath the Fortress Monastery.

- Just a question; What is buried, when the dead marine gives his 'spare' parts for another use? -_-

 

++++

I think you should expand the Infinity part of Infinity Knights in the belief section more.

 

P.S. I made like five typos in this reply. <_<

[Ace Debonair]

Created in the 9th Founding, the Infinity Knights were blessed with the geneseed of Rouboute Guilliman via his sons the Ultramarines. Their given mission was straightforward - reinforce the Imperial presence in the area of space north of the Storm of the Emperor's Wrath.

- The Storm of the Emperor's Wrath appeared in late M36.

 

Ugh, well spotted. I'll find some other landmarks for them to be nearby.

 

- Just a question; What is buried, when the dead marine gives his 'spare' parts for another use? -_-

 

Anything that didn't get used as spare parts. :lol:

Good point though. I'll have to either expand on that a bit or swap it for another idea.

I'll try expanding on it first, and if it gives me too much grief, I'll just swap the idea out for something else.

 

I think you should expand the Infinity part of Infinity Knights in the belief section more.

On balance, I agree. I'll have a good think on this.

 

P.S. I made like five typos in this reply. <_<

I made three in this reply, too. :P

[Ecritter]

I wasn't trying to say you were 'borrowing' from Dune, just that your description of the homeworld left me thinking of Dune. Not that there'd be anything wrong with taking parts from Dune. Just stay away from the Spice and Sand Worms .... good advice in life as well.

 

"It is said that the Emperor created Ashar to train the faithful. One cannot go against the word of the Emperor."

Edited May 18, 2011 by Ecritter

[Ace Debonair]

There are other Sci-fi Desert worlds you know ;)

 

Of course on one famous one, you could hit Womprats in a T-16 ;)

 

Or rescue your impetuous Space Pirate friend from a fate worse than Carbonite.... ;)

I'm more likely to make a spirited attempt to gnaw my own leg off than intentionally reference Star Wars.

Let's just say I'm not a fan of anything but the lightsabres, and leave it at that. :D

I wasn't trying to say you were 'borrowing' from Dune, just that your description of the homeworld left me thinking of Dune. Not that there'd be anything wrong with taking parts from Dune. Just stay away from the Spice and Sand Worms .... good advice in life as well.

 

"It is said that the Emperor created Ashar to train the faithful. One cannot go against the word of the Emperor."

 

Ah. Having spent a fair bit of the day on the Dune wiki, (I haven't got access to the book, and was itching to do some research) I think I'm justified in saying 'I see what you did there.' :)

 

I see what you mean, though, Ashar sounds geographically very similar to that Arrakis place.

I suppose there's only so many things you can do with a desert climate.

[InquisitorHayn]

First thing, I definitely like the concept. Takes Doctors without Borders into a whole new dimension. And being a fan of the desert environment myself (used it for my Storm Stalkers IA), you get extra points for that. That said, just a couple of things I noticed that may add some spice (sorry, couldn't help myself :lol: ) to this already well-crafted idea of yours.

 

I noticed that you wrote this as an explanation for the geneseed issue/reduction in psykers.

It's probably a good idea to impose some kind of penalty to avoid the 'awesome'.

While a valid point, I don't think that taking away a functional element of your Chapter is entirely necessary to accomplish the goal. If I may be so bold, I think that your overall feeling of "holy crap, these guys are the knees of uber bees" is brought on not by the incredible functionality of the Chapter, but by its relatively unchallenged nature. The writing, while effective at conveying the information, comes off (at least to me) as very "Princes of the Universe". You talk about grievous casualties, but I think delving a tad further into the darkness of it would make you feel less inclined to detract from the organizational structure. How do the bad things that happen to the IKs affect them? What is so bad about it?

 

For example:

 

A ) After the rockslide ended, I looked over and saw that my arm was crushed by a boulder.

 

B ) After being dragged bodily by the tumultuous avalanche to the hard, uneven ground, my eyes grew wide with horror and a putrid upwelling began in the depths of my gut as I saw that my arm lay misshapen and fractured beneath a giant boulder, splinters of bone showing through my torn flesh.

 

Even if "guy B" was the baddest mother in the known universe, he still can't just say "Oh well, I'll just dust off and go on my merry." Guy A, no problem.

 

This isn't intended to attack your writing style but instead, I simply suggest using mood and a few superfluous words to add gravity to your IA. I think that, in doing so, you would be able to create as you see fit without feeling guilty about being too awesome.

 

My only other note is this: beware the word "they". I saw it used frequently in your IA and it is mildly distracting. Honestly, I'm guilty of picking pet words myself. While writing the initial draft of the Storm Stalkers IA (shameless request for sorely needed C&C), I found I had used the word "invariably" somewhat excessively.

 

Anyways, that's all I have. Good luck on the completion of your various projects and may your IA shine shinier than the shiniest shiny thing.

[Ace Debonair]

First thing, I definitely like the concept. Takes Doctors without Borders into a whole new dimension. And being a fan of the desert environment myself (used it for my Storm Stalkers IA), you get extra points for that. That said, just a couple of things I noticed that may add some spice (sorry, couldn't help myself :D ) to this already well-crafted idea of yours.

Cheers.

Although that pun actually made me wince. :)

I noticed that you wrote this as an explanation for the geneseed issue/reduction in psykers.

It's probably a good idea to impose some kind of penalty to avoid the 'awesome'.

While a valid point, I don't think that taking away a functional element of your Chapter is entirely necessary to accomplish the goal. If I may be so bold, I think that your overall feeling of "holy crap, these guys are the knees of uber bees" is brought on not by the incredible functionality of the Chapter, but by its relatively unchallenged nature. The writing, while effective at conveying the information, comes off (at least to me) as very "Princes of the Universe". You talk about grievous casualties, but I think delving a tad further into the darkness of it would make you feel less inclined to detract from the organizational structure. How do the bad things that happen to the IKs affect them? What is so bad about it?

Ah. So there is too much awesome, and I'm not paranoid.

 

If I've understood what you've written correctly, is this another way of saying 'don't have the wandering companies?'

 

As far as the last sentence goes, I'm simply not sure how it would effect them. They go on recruiting, replacing their losses, and then losing them again so many years down the line.

 

A ) After the rockslide ended, I looked over and saw that my arm was crushed by a boulder.

 

B ) After being dragged bodily by the tumultuous avalanche to the hard, uneven ground, my eyes grew wide with horror and a putrid upwelling began in the depths of my gut as I saw that my arm lay misshapen and fractured beneath a giant boulder, splinters of bone showing through my torn flesh.

 

Even if "guy B" was the baddest mother in the known universe, he still can't just say "Oh well, I'll just dust off and go on my merry." Guy A, no problem.

 

This isn't intended to attack your writing style but instead, I simply suggest using mood and a few superfluous words to add gravity to your IA. I think that, in doing so, you would be able to create as you see fit without feeling guilty about being too awesome.

I know, I can't write Grimdark. I'm the first to admit it. The thing being, I'm trying to tie the IK to the grimdark stuff, but I can't make it gel correctly with what I want from the Chapter.

This, I think, will be my biggest obstacle in making the IA work.

 

Oh, and trust me, there's no guilt involved with making the IK less 'awesome'.

I just don't want people ripping up my ideas*, so I'm downplaying them as much as possible. :lol:

 

*Too many bad memories, haha.

 

My only other note is this: beware the word "they". I saw it used frequently in your IA and it is mildly distracting. Honestly, I'm guilty of picking pet words myself. While writing the initial draft of the Storm Stalkers IA (shameless request for sorely needed C&C), I found I had used the word "invariably" somewhat excessively.

Ugh, you're right. Another miracle of late night typing.

I don't normally use the word 'they' like a frantic conspiracy nut, honest. :D

 

My personal over-used writing mechanism is this - pausing halfway through a sentence with the use of a hyphen.

 

The effect it conjures up in my mind is two people in suits walking briskly down a corridor, one person explaining something important to the other. Every time there's that dramatic hyphen, they stop walking for a moment to emphasise the importance of the following words.

 

Anyways, that's all I have. Good luck on the completion of your various projects and may your IA shine shinier than the shiniest shiny thing.

Much obliged.

I'll try and do something useful with your insights, but regrettably I can't promise any improvements. :)

[InquisitorHayn]

If I've understood what you've written correctly, is this another way of saying 'don't have the wandering companies?'

Not at all. I was actually referring to the whole 'recruiting fewer psykers' thing. I actually enjoy the Wandering Companies idea. I think, perhaps, there needs to be a little more flesh on the reasoning for them, but it's good stuff. Just seemed to me like you were taking away the psykers just to balance the other cool stuff in the Chapter instead of to enhance/expand a particular area of the fluff. I could be wrong. Happens a lot :D

 

Honestly, though, I would think the Wandering Companies would actually make it more likely for the Chapter to find psykers, what with them picking up strays along the galactic sidewalk and all.

 

As for the Grimdark, I don't think you really need to worry. You have solid ideas that can stand without it. It just means that the 'why' of everything needs to be either explained in detail or made more readily apparent by the other parts of the IA so that those solid ideas have the support they need. I honestly think this project has the potential to be top notch. Just needs a little polish.

Edited May 20, 2011 by InquisitorHayn

[Ace Debonair]

If I've understood what you've written correctly, is this another way of saying 'don't have the wandering companies?'

Not at all. I was actually referring to the whole 'recruiting fewer psykers' thing. I actually enjoy the Wandering Companies idea. I think, perhaps, there needs to be a little more flesh on the reasoning for them, but it's good stuff. Just seemed to me like you were taking away the psykers just to balance the other cool stuff in the Chapter instead of to enhance/expand a particular area of the fluff. I could be wrong. Happens a lot.

 

Don't sell yourself short.

My reason for having less psykers IS so I can comfortably have more apothecaries and dreads than the norm.

 

It just feels more balanced that way, you know?

Didn't want to drop Chappies, or Techies, so sacrificing some Libbies seemed the safest way to go.

 

If the consensus is that it's un-needed to have less psykers, then cool. I'll drop the anti-psyker flaw, recruit a few more mind-readers, and carry on. :P

 

Honestly, though, I would think the Wandering Companies would actually make it more likely for the Chapter to find psykers, what with them picking up strays along the galactic sidewalk and all.

 

Even if I drop the geneseed flaw, I don't think I'll go that far the other way. :lol:

 

As for the Grimdark, I don't think you really need to worry. You have solid ideas that can stand without it. It just means that the 'why' of everything needs to be either explained in detail or made more readily apparent by the other parts of the IA so that those solid ideas have the support they need. I honestly think this project has the potential to be top notch. Just needs a little polish.

 

Grimdark is probably pretty good polish for an IA, though. It's like adding battle damage to a mini. It gets it all scarred, beat up and interesting.

[Guest Mordray]

I'd just drop the anti-psyker thing as it just feels strapped on... and that's just not right.

 

As for the grimdark... well talk more about their enemies... talk about the wars they couldn't win and by the gods talk about the strike cruisers that didn't make it home...

[Ace Debonair]

BAM!

Updates!

See? I haven't forgotten about these guys, or giving everyone else an opportunity to get revenge on me for all the C&C I've done over the last few months.

 

Honest.

And this totally wasn't a spur-of-the-moment thing when I was trying to find out what the Gehenna Perditia Blasted Whatever Campaign was, either.

 

Also, guess who found typos? <_<

[Donkey Kong]

BAM!

Updates!

See? I haven't forgotten about these guys, or giving everyone else an opportunity to get revenge on me for all the C&C I've done over the last few months.

 

Honest.

And this totally wasn't a spur-of-the-moment thing when I was trying to find out what the Gehenna Perditia Blasted Whatever Campaign was, either.

 

Also, guess who found typos? :P

 

You never change ^_^ .

 

Ashar was only a short distance from the are of space that would one day be known as The Storm of the Emperor's Wrath. Almost as soon as they arrived there, the Infinity Knights departed in search of battle. All along the sector, Space Marines and Guardsmen alike found the call for help answered by the Astartes of the Infinity Knights.

 

It doesn't really make sense for it to be the area* (found you a typo ;) ) of space to be known as the warp storm. "Ashar was only a short distance from the space that would later be claimed by The Storm of the Emperor's Wrath." I mean, you only beat it by a thousand years. As for "Astarts," Astartes supposedly (as in, according to the all knowing and all powerful AD-B) translates into "of the stars." Members of the Adeptus Astartes are known as Space Marines. Sectors are also kind of round-ish, so "all along" doesn't work as well as a word like "throughout," ie: "Throughout the sector, Imperial Forces found the call for help answered by the Infinity Knights."

 

Oh, I just missed something.

 

Their given mission was straightforward - reinforce the Imperial presence in the area of space north of the Storm of the Emperor's Wrath.

 

Like I said, you beat the storm by a good thousand years.

 

through these actions the Infinity Knights have forged good relations with the Adeptus Mechanicus, Imperial Guard and even some of their brother Chapters.

 

One (ie: Me) would think that they would also earn some life debts from Imperial Worlds. They could serve as temporary bases for the Wandering Companies while they're farther from home. It would help with that tension issue you make in the next paragraph, unless you want that to exist, which could make for an interesting point to keep it in of itself. Hell, you could even mention the Wandering Companies denying debts offered by Planetary Governors for private reasons not to upset the Greater Chapter back home.

 

The Infinity Knights, like most Astartes, venerate the Emperor as the pinnacle of Humanity's potential. The Chapter holds all the loyal Primarchs in good esteem, each representing both a being of truly steadfast honour, and a legacy of great servitude to humanity.

 

You did the Astartes thing again. Also, if they're Ultramarine successors, shouldn't they have some particular affinity towards Gulliman?

 

For your organization, I believe that the Apothecaries would be better served with a sub heading and topic. You could explain their expanded size and duties better that way.

 

These valuable machines are always treated with utmost respect and looked after with extreme dilligence - a practice that has earned much respect from various factions within the Mechanicus.

 

Respect Respect Repetition ;) !

 

either by sheltering in the mountains, where vast, sheltered cities have evolved, or by travelling in tribes across the desert.

 

Shelter(ing) Shelter(ed) Repetition :D !

 

"either by carving their place in the mountains, where vast cities have grown, or by travelling in tribes across the desert."

 

The Infinity Knights themselves have taken an active hand in influencing their homeworld, however.

 

However, what? Ziz vurd, She doth not belong!

 

The quotes have a few things I'd change, and there are some inconsistencies between them.

 

Take this broken shell, and harvest from it anything that may still function to give my brothers strength to continue our Primarch's legacy.

 

This is wordy as hell for, you know, dying words. "Take this broken shell, and take from it anything to give my brothers strength." I also know that you say Thadrus didn't serve long, but you hardly have any perspective on that. Was he Chapter Master for a decade? a century? two? Saying how he died doesn't exactly tell us how he lived.

 

This is just a personal peeve, but give me a minute to explain and I'm sure you'll see it too. These are the people being quoted:

 

"Thought to be the last words of Chapter Master Thadrus."

"Rall Hamir, Captain of the Third Company."

"Chapter Master Algren Irames."

"General Maclyn of the Glasgham 1st Regiment."

"Captain Bruc Haedar of the Seventh Company."

"Sergeant Dussan."

"Apothecary Sciran."

 

Off the bat, the period shouldn't be there. It's not part of the sentence, it's the source. Secondly, there's a mix of full names, last names, titles, and positions throughout the entire list. I can understand this for Thadrus and Sciran, as far as I know, new characters currently lacking first names, as well as Maclyn, a character who exists for that quote alone. Dussan had a first name in the Nuviath (you know, Gehenna ;) ) Campaign, Raul.

 

So, how I would do it:

 

"Thought to be the last words of Chapter Master [Name] Thadrus, Infinity Knights"

"Captain Rall Hamir, Infinity Knights Third Company"

"Chapter Master Algren Irames, Infinity Knights"

"General [Name] MacLyn, Glasgham First Regiment"

"Captain Brus Haedar, Infinity Knights Seventh Company"

"Sergeant Raul Dussan, Infinity Knights [Number] Company"

"Apothecary [Name] Sciran, Infinity Knights [Number] Company"

 

Overall, they're good. I just wish you still had your reason for their heraldry, as well as created one for their name. I also wish that you made some mention of the wings on the heraldry of the Wandering Companies like in Codex Grey's picture. I also would like to know how exactly the Wandering Companies work in terms of whether they're a fixed number, or if the title rotates between the Second, Third, Fourth, and Fifth, so at any time it's any two of the Second Wandering Company, Third Wandering Company, Fourth Wandering Company, or Fifth Wandering Company. A few of your sections still look relatively bare, but it's understandable considering how it's a project you've returned to after several months. Maybe, when they're done, your boys can crusade alongside the Astral Reavers :lol: .

[Ace Debonair]

Ah, so you saw through my cunning ruse.

I thought I'd made it pretty convincing, personally. :)

 

Ashar was only a short distance from the are of space that would one day be known as The Storm of the Emperor's Wrath. Almost as soon as they arrived there, the Infinity Knights departed in search of battle. All along the sector, Space Marines and Guardsmen alike found the call for help answered by the Astartes of the Infinity Knights.

 

It doesn't really make sense for it to be the area (found you a typo ) of space to be known as the warp storm. "Ashar was only a short distance from the space that would later be claimed by The Storm of the Emperor's Wrath." I mean, you only beat it by a thousand years. As for "Astarts," Astartes supposedly [as in, according to the all knowing and all powerful AD-B]* translates into "of the stars." Members of the Adeptus Astartes are known as Space Marines. Sectors are also kind of round-ish, so "all along" doesn't work as well as a word like "throughout," ie: "Throughout the sector, Imperial Forces found the call for help answered by the Infinity Knights."

*Changed the brackets out to cut down on the number of emoticons.

 

Waitwhat?

I thought I'd edited that out already.

Darn out-dated versions. I updated the wrong one!

 

So are you saying I shouldn't refer to them as Astartes, then?

Damn. That's gonna need an update all by itself - I keep using that instead of writing Space Marines.

 

I bet there's a starmap somewhere in the Imperium with square sectors, back from when they thought the galaxy was flat, or whatever.

If there is, that's the one the IK's use. ;)

 

Ok, fine, I'll fix it.

 

One (ie: Me) would think that they would also earn some life debts from Imperial Worlds. They could serve as temporary bases for the Wandering Companies while they're farther from home. It would help with that tension issue you make in the next paragraph, unless you want that to exist, which could make for an interesting point to keep it in of itself. Hell, you could even mention the Wandering Companies denying debts offered by Planetary Governors for private reasons not to upset the Greater Chapter back home.

 

Thing is, with the tensions and similar, I included them to cater to the readers who felt the IK were too clean-cut, and not really getting anything from the losses.

I've probably botched it somehow and made it read like it's just tacked on, but I'll admit it's still early days for that idea.

 

You did the Astartes thing again. Also, if they're Ultramarine successors, shouldn't they have some particular affinity towards Gulliman?

They would, wouldn't they?

 

Darn. Foiled again.

 

For your organization, I believe that the Apothecaries would be better served with a sub heading and topic. You could explain their expanded size and duties better that way.

I might try a smaller division in the section, much the same way I did with my Rift Lords. I really liked the effect that created.

 

Respect Respect Repetition !

Shelter(ing) Shelter(ed) Repetition !

 

But that's emphatically done for emphasis! :)

 

Take this broken shell, and harvest from it anything that may still function to give my brothers strength to continue our Primarch's legacy.

 

This is wordy as hell for, you know, dying words. "Take this broken shell, and take from it anything to give my brothers strength." I also know that you say Thadrus didn't serve long, but you hardly have any perspective on that. Was he Chapter Master for a decade? a century? two? Saying how he died doesn't exactly tell us how he lived.

 

Thought to be his dying words. They've been through a few thousand years of chinese-whispers-style subtle changes and alterations as it was passed down.

I don't really wanna say that in the IA as such, although it's worked well enough for you to spot it doesn't seem quite natural. I have no idea if that's a good thing or not in this context, haha.

 

I also thought it might be nice to have the founder of the Chapter only having a real impact on the Chapter after his death.

You know, a subtle foreshadowing of the Chapter's somewhat peculiar beliefs.

Off the bat, the period shouldn't be there. It's not part of the sentence, it's the source. Secondly, there's a mix of full names, last names, titles, and positions throughout the entire list. I can understand this for Thadrus and Sciran, as far as I know, new characters currently lacking first names, as well as Maclyn, a character who exists for that quote alone. Dussan had a first name in the Nuviath (you know, Gehenna ;) ) Campaign, Raul.

 

So, how I would do it:

 

"Thought to be the last words of Chapter Master [Name] Thadrus, Infinity Knights"

"Captain Rall Hamir, Infinity Knights Third Company"

"Chapter Master Algren Irames, Infinity Knights"

"General [Name] MacLyn, Glasgham First Regiment"

"Captain Brus Haedar, Infinity Knights Seventh Company"

"Sergeant Raul Dussan, Infinity Knights [Number] Company"

"Apothecary [Name] Sciran, Infinity Knights [Number] Company"

 

Odd. I could have sworn Dussan, at least, had his first name.

Darn you outdated versions! ;)

 

 

Overall, they're good. I just wish you still had your reason for their heraldry, as well as created one for their name. I also wish that you made some mention of the wings on the heraldry of the Wandering Companies like in Codex Grey's picture. I also would like to know how exactly the Wandering Companies work in terms of whether they're a fixed number, or if the title rotates between the Second, Third, Fourth, and Fifth, so at any time it's any two of the Second Wandering Company, Third Wandering Company, Fourth Wandering Company, or Fifth Wandering Company. A few of your sections still look relatively bare, but it's understandable considering how it's a project you've returned to after several months.

 

See, one thing that always amazes me is how much I forget about my own damn chapters.

How did I forget the wings?

 

I was thinking of rotating the duty of Wandering between the Battle companies.

But, that might not work with the wing heraldry. Maybe it should be fixed to the 3rd and 4th?

 

Maybe, when they're done, your boys can crusade alongside the Astral Reavers ;) .

Maybe when the Astral Reavers are done, they can crusade alongside my boys. ;)

 

Nuviath! I knew we'd renamed it, but I couldn't find the name of that campaign anywhere.

Catchy name, too. Rolls off the tongue.

 

Right, I'll get cracking on another update later on, time permitting. Cheers for the C&C, KHK.

 

EDIT:

Typos. The crusade continues.

Edited September 2, 2011 by Ace Debonair

[Ace Debonair]

Updated again!

 

Just posting to remind myself to do something about making an apothecary sub-section tomorrow if I get chance.

And to do something about wing heraldry for the Wandering Companies, although I don't know how to work that in without it looking like a really random, trivial detail. Maybe I'm just tired.

 

I also didn't change out the building tensions and stuff just yet.

 

Still dunno about changing the chinese-whisper-dying-words at the top of the IA, or what to do with the rotation/non-rotation heraldry dilemma that the Wandering Companies and the wings would create.

Opinions, chaps/chapettes?

 

EDIT:

Forgive the double post.

It's done with the best of intentions this time.

Edited September 2, 2011 by Ace Debonair

[Donkey Kong]

Maybe when the Astral Reavers are done, they can crusade alongside my boys. :D

 

Touché.

 

Concerning the Wandering Companies. I have a suggestion that you may or may not like. I believe that the Wandering Companies should exist outside the Chapter Organization. While the Chapter maintains itself at full strength, the First and Second Wandering Companies are two additional forces, free from the constraints of the Codex Astartes (ie: A Wandering Company may have a record strength of 200 marines). They make periodic returns to the Chapter's territory, recruiting from the Chapter's battle companies as well as picking up their own perspective recruits on their travels. When they return, some Marines may choose to stay, retaining the heraldry of the Wandering Companies akin to a tour in the Deathwatch. Think of this interpretation as akin to the Ultramarine Tyrannic War Veterans, an organization that exists in open opposition to the Codex Astartes, resulting in even higher tensions between purists and idealists in the Infinity Knights.

 

An important aspect for them is still the idea of what fleet elements are allocated to the Wandering Companies. This ultimately relies on how much support they had at their founding within the Chapter.

[Ace Debonair]

Concerning the Wandering Companies. I have a suggestion that you may or may not like. I believe that the Wandering Companies should exist outside the Chapter Organization. While the Chapter maintains itself at full strength, the First and Second Wandering Companies are two additional forces, free from the constraints of the Codex Astartes (ie: A Wandering Company may have a record strength of 200 marines). They make periodic returns to the Chapter's territory, recruiting from the Chapter's battle companies as well as picking up their own perspective recruits on their travels. When they return, some Marines may choose to stay, retaining the heraldry of the Wandering Companies akin to a tour in the Deathwatch. Think of this interpretation as akin to the Ultramarine Tyrannic War Veterans, an organization that exists in open opposition to the Codex Astartes, resulting in even higher tensions between purists and idealists in the Infinity Knights.

 

An important aspect for them is still the idea of what fleet elements are allocated to the Wandering Companies. This ultimately relies on how much support they had at their founding within the Chapter.

 

Regrettably, I don't really like that idea. B)

I tell too many people not to go over the '1,000 marine limit' without a really good reason for me to do the exact same thing. ^_^

 

What I am thinking of, though, is the following idea:

 

Say the Wandering Companies are permanent, fixed formations, effectively taking over from the 4th and 5th company.

However, the marines attached to those companies are generally not there for life.

 

For instance: Say the 4th company comes home, and replenishes it's losses from the reserve companies. It might then exchange some, or even many of it's battle-hardened members with those amongst the 2nd and 3rd companies who wish to travel afar.

 

This allows marines who have served in the Wandering Companies to get the prestigious 'wing' emblem embazoned on their armour.

 

Possibly only marines who have served in both the Battle and Wandering Companies should be allowed to join the First Company. Hmm.

 

It could easily pad out the Organisation section, I guess.

Then I just need to expand on the apothecary's role within the Chapter a bit, and happy days.

 

Sound any good?