IA: Night Wolves

[Captain Juan Juarez]

I get an empty blog page ;)

[Jacobius]

Hello all,

 

Blog problems seem to be fixed

 

Apparently all my posts were drafts and not actually published :lol:

 

Please let me know if the links still don't work for you

 

On to the rewrite!

 

-J-

[Jacobius]

Old draft removed for clarity

[Jacobius]

Greetings all!

 

I see my last draft has stunned you all into silence with the magnificence of its perfection :)

 

Fairly large update here, I've tried to incorporate as many of Brother Codex Grey's suggestions (see post 22) as possible and have also rearranged a bit.

 

As always please let me know what you think and I am thankful for any suggestions to help improve.

 

Night Wolves

 

From The Darkness We Strike

 

Named by their founder after a pack animal native to their home world of Remus, Brother Tiberon hoped to instill in his newly founded chapter the cohesion and cooperation of a pack with the cunning, stealth and independence of the lone wolf.

 

Tear at your foe’s heels from the darkness, wound him a thousand times, you and your Brothers, and then, when he lies dying, alone, exhausted and afraid, fall upon him as one and finish him where he lies. - Brother Tiberon, Chapter Master, Night Wolves

 

Origins

 

Founded: 22nd Founding

 

Founded by decree of the High Lords of Terra, the Night Wolves Chapter was created with a careful eye toward the harsh lessons learnt during the 21st or ‘Cursed Founding’. Brother Captain Tiberon of the 4th company of the White Scars was given leave to select a training cadre from amongst his own Chapter and set forth to the Remus system near Accatran in the Segmentum Tempestus. Tiberon was tasked with replacing a Chapter lost during the purges that resulted from the Cursed Founding. Brother Captain Tiberon’s name was put forward by the Stormseers of the White Scars after their consideration of who was best suited to fulfill the request of the High Lords. Tiberon was a veteran of several campaigns over his 200 years’ service to the White Scars and was a cunning and shrewd commander with an uncanny ability to ascertain the potential in either situation or man at a glance.

 

Tiberon was directed to set up his new Chapter wherever he saw fit as long as the founding was close enough to protect the valuable Forgeworlds of Accatran, Metalicus and Roma. After rejecting several other worlds as unsuitable due to lack of population or over-hostile climates, the training cadre came upon the feral world Remus where they settled and began the process of building a new chapter. While the Night Wolves were barely more than a company in size and still composed mostly of neophytes and only a handful of newly trained and equipped pack brothers, the first call for assistance came from nearby Roma. Orks were rampaging through the sector and with Roma’s fleets occupied elsewhere, the Night Wolves were the only Imperial forces nearby able to assist. A courier fleet carrying an STC copy to Roma had been ambushed by Orks and decimated. Several crippled ships, including that containing the STC copy had crash landed on an uncolonised world. Desperate to recover their sacred relic, the Arch Magos of Roma requested that the Night Wolves move to locate and secure the precious cargo.

 

After infiltrating the planet, the five squads of Night Wolves located and searched three crashed ships without being detected by the numerous bands of Orks also scouring the planet’s surface for salvage before finding the one containing the STC copy. After locating their target, the Night Wolves were now forced into defensive postions as Orks controlled the skies and were massing on the ground. By the time Adeptus Mechanicus reinforcements arrived four days later the Night Wolves had paid a heavy price with less than a third of their number remaining. Thus the Night Wolves earned their first battle honour.

 

Homeworld

 

The Night Wolves’ home world is Remus, a feral world peopled by Stone Age tribes. Remus is thickly forested with climates ranging from taiga to tropical rainforest. However, most of the landmass on Remus is situated between the temperate and subarctic zones.

 

The people of Remus are hardy hunter-gatherers who live a life of cunning, stealth, ambush, wariness, fieldcraft, patience and, at the right moment, deadly precision. Failure in any one of these tasks results in death to predators of either the animal or human variety. Remussarn society is tribal in nature. Each tribe lays claim to its ‘patch’ and defends this from the encroachment of neighbouring tribes resulting in a ferocious system of tit-for-tat raiding and boundary protection. While deaths are common and escalation to the point of decimation of the occasional tribe occurs, Remussars consider sneaking into another tribes’ territory without being detected to slit a throat or steal a trinket, not only a rite of passage, but also the finest kind of sport. As a result, Remussars sleep light, carry a weapon as their first and last possession and are keenly aware of their surroundings at all times.

 

Recruiting

 

New recruits are selected by veteran sergeants on garrison duty who survey, from a distance, villages as they ‘do the rounds’ across Remus looking for signs of Orks, Chaos or more recently, Tyranid infestation. The recruits are taken as they hunt alone in the forest and brought to the Den to begin their new lives. Neophyte marines are first inducted into a company that is currently rotated on to garrison duty on Remus. Here a new recruit is taught all the skills he needs to enhance the chances of his own survival. This includes training in stealth, ambush, reconnaissance and sniper skills. Brother Tiberon laid down a strong tradition of each marine being responsible for providing the chapter with not only his heart, body and soul but also his brain and all that it contains, thus, keen observation and post-bellum reporting are taught so that each recruit may fully contribute to the chapter. Further training is provided ‘on the job’ as the new recruit’s company is rotated out onto active duty.

 

The Night Wolves’ Fortress–Monastery is located inside a labyrinth of subterranean lava tubes and is known as the Den. Over time this series of caves and tubes has been enlarged to cater for the needs of a fully fledged Chapter. Most of the main entrances into the Den open out into thick forest but a few have been kept clear for entry by Thunderhawks.

 

Beliefs

 

The Night wolves don’t believe the emperor is a god and aren’t particularly pious (no chanting of liturgies, hours of meditation etc.). They only care about getting the job done, protecting lesser humanity (as they have sworn to do) and living up to the ideals of the Adeptus Astartes. They have a strong sense of confidence in their own abilities and decision making as well as a confidence in the Brother to each side. Cunning and independence are held as high virtues in the chapter as well as the ability to learn, preferably from the mistakes of others, and adapt to the prevailing conditions. Knowledge and Wisdom are also held in high regard and the pursuit and dissemination of knowledge is instilled from an early point in the training of a new Night Wolf. As a result of the Night Wolves' somewhat more relaxed attitude towards their faith, the role of the chaplain within the chapter is more concerned with morale and making sure that the Pack Brothers hold fast to the ideals of the chapter.

 

I say to you young ones, the gift of knowledge may be the greatest a Brother can give to his chapter, as which of us knows what the smallest piece of information may lead to? Who here can say that a single whisper cannot undo an empire? - Brother Omar, White Paw], 9th squad, 3rd Company, Night Wolves to new recruits.

 

Combat Doctrine

 

Brother Tiberon, upon observing the unique mindset and experiences possessed by his new recruits, modified his intended indoctrination regime to incorporate stealth, ambush and tracking with the White Scars’ own brand of lightning fast harassment and assault. As a result, the chapter as a whole specializes in guerrilla tactics behind enemy lines, using precisely coordinated attacks and refraining from frontal attacks or protracted attrition warfare. The Wolves’ typical tactical doctrine consists of small, highly mobile or stealthy raiding parties composed of Assault Marines, Land Speeders, Bikes and Scouts to disrupt supply and communications and to destroy key strategic objectives through sabotage, ambush, assassination, surveillance and raiding. The intention behind this is to weaken enemy infrastructure, organization and morale as well as provide valuable information in preparation for a hammer blow from the more substantial parts of the company. Night Wolves are particularly adept at stealth, ambush, counter-ambush and tracking operations. Night wolves make heavy use of scouts, drop pods and teleport homers to insert troops at the desired time and place, to prepare their battlefields, to launch commando missions or to turn the tide of battle.

 

Organization

 

Night Wolf Captains are fiercely independent, flexible and cunning, values that are prized amongst the Night Wolves as a result of both their previous lives as tribesmen and as encouraged by Brother Tiberon through his founding teachings. Individual companies are designed to be completely autonomous as a result of the operational needs of the Night Wolves. With a large sector to protect and a steady stream of requests for aid, the eight companies of Night Wolves rotated off garrison duty at any one time find themselves almost constantly deployed on operations. To accommodate this need for long duration missions and, consequently, long periods between rest, recruitment and refitting, Night Wolf company structure is arranged slightly differently to those of other chapters. Three or four squads per company of around 20 scouts each are on hand whenever possible, in this way the Night Wolves are able to make heavy use of their scouts for reconnaissance and replenish their more senior ranks with new pack brothers while ‘on the move’. As a result of their combat doctrine, Night Wolves tend to field few large vehicles but each company has its own small supply of bikes and Land Speeders as well as a few larger vehicles such as Predators. This arrangement allows the Night Wolves to deploy the full array of weaponry and skills available to a Chapter within a single company.

 

Veterans

 

Veterans in the Night Wolves, like many chapters, are held in high regard and are known as White Paws as they paint their gauntlets white as a mark of rank. White Paws, veterans of many battles, possess the cunning and tenacity for survival under the most extreme of conditions and the knowledge, insight and experience to solve the most complex of problems. The Chapter considers its White Paws some of its greatest treasures and they can be found scattered across the chapter in advisory, pedagogic and leadership roles. Each company also has a dedicated group of White Paws whose job is to carry out the most difficult missions that others consider suicide and that lesser men would stand no chance of completing.

 

The Eruditium

 

When the Night Wolves were first founded, Brother Tiberon kept council with a group of senior Night Wolves selected for their access to, and rapport with, the other members of the chapter. This group consisted of senior Librarians, Apothecaries, Chaplains, Sergeants and Techmarines. The council’s intended purpose was originally to ascertain how the fledgling chapter was progressing as it grew in size, complexity and experience. Information gathering was limited to measuring performance and searching for weaknesses in tactics, attitude or organisation. Over time this council has evolved into the Eruditium whose job is to collate and analyse the flow of information gathered from scouting, battle and elsewhere. The Eruditium is comprised of the Chapter Master, Chief Librarian, Reclusiarch, Master of the Forge and all ten Company Captains. At any time any member of the chapter may be called upon by the Eruditium or any of its individual members to report on an incident of note or provide an opinion. In addition, various off world experts, such as the Executor Fetial of one of the local forgeworlds or a passing Naval commander may be invited to attend a meeting of the Eruditium and provide advice or satisfy the curiosity of the Eruditium on a point of interest. To the Eruditium, Knowledge is Victory, and its members spend most of their non-combat time poring over and analysing vids of previous battles, written accounts, interviewing returning marines and inspecting battle damage to both man and machine with a view towards learning more about the enemies and technology ranged against the chapter. This knowledge is collated and archived by the Librarians of the chapter and is stored in a massive vault deep inside the Den.

 

Special Roles

 

There are several additional titles that may be bestowed on any one of the White Paws in a company, due to their special expertise, that bring additional responsibilities. These roles include Master of the Hunt, Master of the Kill and Master of the Pack. The Master of the Pack title is given to the White Paw who has shown himself best suited to the training of new recruits. The Master of the Pack is responsible for organising the location, selection, recruitment and training and equipping of new initiates. This ensures that the flow of new recruits to each company is uninterrupted. The Master of the Hunt is responsible for the planning and execution of all specialist pro and counter reconnaissance and intelligence gathering operations. He is responsible for knowing the disposition of his own company and the enemy at all times and provides the Captain with the information he needs to secure victory. The Master of the Kill is responsible for the planning and execution of targeted kill missions and destruction of strategic resources, whether through the insertion of a sniper team or the targeting of an orbital bombardment. It is he who plans and executes the death of an army, whether through decapitation or slow starvation.

 

Geneseed

 

Night Wolves trace their lineage to Jaghatai Khan and the White Scars chapter. There are several minor aberrances present in the Night Wolves’ geneseed. The streak of violent aggression present in the White Scars and several of their other successors has been somewhat ameliorated by the geneseed’s interaction with the physiology of the tribesmen of Remus.

 

Battle Cry

 

As a Chapter used to silent movement and stealth the Night Wolves do not have a battle cry.

 

Chapter Motto: ex obscurum nos ferito – From The Darkness We Strike

Eruditium Motto: ex eruditio victoria insisto – From Learning, Victory Follows

 

-J-

[Messor]

Quick question:

So you're operating in the millennium following the 22nd founding, meaning Tiberon is the current Chapter Master, right? As a result, the Chapter is currently still building towards achieving full strength for the first time?

 

Or are they operating current millennium? If so, who is the active Chapter Master?

[Jacobius]

Current millenium, Tiberon is interred in a dreadnaught.

 

Haven't really thought about current characters as I'm just trying to get the history/features of the chapter set before I worry about that.

 

However, if you think it needs clarification I'll try and figure out a way to indicate what time period the chapter operates in currently

[Messor]

Heh, that's just something I was curious about, and asked because I'm having time period problems in my own chapter development. I don't know much about IA's and all they should include or how much history vs current background it entails, though I think it'd be good to mention...somewhere, that Tiberon has been placed in a dreadnaught and continues honorable service that way. Then again, such a mention would beg the question more strongly, "Who leads them now".

[Jacobius]

An update, moved Current draft to post #1.

 

Added first battle details, pictures and some other minor changes.

 

-J-

[Messor]

I don't know if this hasn't been an issue to anyone else, or is part of your update, but in the First Kill section, you mention that a)the Night Wolves are little more than a company in size and b)after the fighting less than a third remain. This thread here talks a lot about it. I haven't read the whole thing/seen the consensus, but 30-40 marines is not much to rebuild off of. Perhaps as a new Chapter they can avoid be called on again until at full strength but I think some adjustments would be good to consider.

[Jacobius]

Here I am gettin' all involved in the discussion on how fast a marine chapter can be generated and I completely forget about the consequences of decimating a chapter...

 

Ok so, my thinking behind why that battle is the way it is.

 

1. I want my chapter to be close to the Admech. Not so close that they're choppin' off arms and goin' all bionic but close enough for a few tasty shinies to be exchanged and the Arch Magos of one of the local forgeworlds (or Executor Fetial maybe?) or one of his direct cronies to be able to sit in on the occasional Eruditium meeting.

 

2. I needed a scenario that would make the AdMech desperate enough to ask, be serious enough for my new chapter to say yes and generate much goodwill if the mission is completed successfully. Hence, STC rescue, black hawk down style.

 

3. It was also going to require quite a few of the new chapter to die, goodwill with the Admech being bought by the rescue of their shiny and a healthy garnish of blood on top.

 

4. At this point, there are probably just under 100 (~98?) members of the chapter, with the vast majority of that number being neophytes.

 

5. Five squads go in, at this point I should have made it clear what the composition of the squads was but I imagined 5 sergeants and the rest scouts, maybe an apothecary as well. Let's say for ease of division there were 48 because some scouts weren't ripe yet ;)

 

6. They go all Delta force on the Orks, like those two guys in Black Hawk Down, and hold out until AdMech forces come to the rescue whereby 16 sergeants/scouts and the all important apothecary are returned to the chapter.

 

7. While the chapter is now down to ~65 members in total, I was working on the assumption that raising a company would not exhaust the geneseed stocks they were given initially. So they can keep building up numbers that way, also, they now have at least a squad of brand new marines who have proved themselves in battle.

 

I'll have a think about how to better convey this tonight but I would love some feedback on whether it is a bit more plausible now you know what I know? I'm happy to say only half were killed or a third?

 

-J-

[Messor]

This does make much more sense now in minds eye, though I'd still recommend one of two things: Either somehow restrict the chapter's activity after the battle so that they have time to recover, OR define why this battle needs to take place so early in the Chapter's history. They need not be full strength, but two or three companies(appropriately delayed so the Deltas can do their thing) have much more optimistic odds of recovering from hefty losses. What you have is manageable, IMO, these are simply suggestions.

[Jacobius]

Ok, first battle is updated. Hopefully it is more plausible and conveys...stuff...good.

 

-J-

[Messor]

Yes, it flows much better now. Perhaps this battle may have impacted the Chapter's future combat doctrine, or was their predilection for stealth/recon/ambush tactics in practice even before this battle?

[Jacobius]

Got me all excited :)

 

-J-

[Messor]

Sorry, brother, but hey I'm still itching to know the far reaching impacts of that first battle, whether on Chapter strength or combat doctrine or who knows what. Also, how did I miss that Heraldry? Looks great, will there be models soon?

[Jacobius]

Some updates to the Organisation, Combat Doctrine and Eruditium section. Hopefully the combat doctrine makes more sense now.

 

As always, C&C appreciated :)

 

-J-

[Messor]

Loved the updates, sir! After that read through I think the Night Wolves must have been a subconscious influence on the Alpha Hounds. The two sure would get along, it seems. The first battle reads infinitely better than in the beginning, and your updates have shone through very well.

[Jacobius]

Messor: Judging by the fact you're the only one who replies and you love it, it must be perfect and ready for the Liber! :P

 

Models are in the air, I suspect they're already in the country, just going through customs etc. So I should see them by Monday (without a doubt they'll try and deliver them while I'm at work so who knows when I'll actually get them)

 

On the hand, whole family is doing Xmas early this year so I get 3 days off where I should be able to have a go at painting :yes:

 

-J-

[Jacobius]

In the nick of time, a painting session has been organised for this Sunday. Hopefully vow will be completed and you'll get to see what one of these actually looks like :)

[Gripharius]

I have a few nitpicks that are pretty minor:

 

 

After rejecting several other worlds as unsuitable due to lack of population or over-hostile climates

Considering some of the other Astartes homeworlds out there, I would come up with a different reason for rejecting planets other than "over-hostile climates." 
 

 

Thus the Night Wolves earned their first battle honour. 

 

The only "success" in that battle was that they held on to the STC and didn't get completely annihilated.  I don't know if the average hard-ass Space Marine would consider that a big victory.  Maybe "honour" isn't the right word here.

 

 

Brother Tiberon, upon observing the unique mindset and experiences possessed by his new recruits, modified his intended indoctrination
regime to incorporate stealth, ambush and tracking with the White Scars’ own brand of lightning fast harassment and assault.

I agree that this seems like a quick transition.  You've laid the groundwork with the cunning and sneaky Remussars, but allow it to be a gradual change.  Over time, as young marines and new recruits continued to excel in stealth tactics but struggle to master other Codex
military tactics, the Chapter naturally gravitates towards employing those tactics as their strength.  As Messor suggested, the Roma battle, where the young Chapter was forced to rely almost exclusively on these tactics, can be a big part of what makes them specialize in them.

 

[Wulfebane]

Oh hey! This is the IA I was trying to remember a month back or so... I really liked the planet/recruitment/beliefs.

[Jacobius]

Gripharius: P'raps a few extra words to explain what the training cadre were looking for in a world (Populated) wouldn't go astray and some reworking of the battle doctrine bits is prolly in order.

As for the battle honour, I was under the impression that EVERY fight they're in is recorded, remembered and honoured by the chapter. As far as success, an STC copy didn't fall into Ork hands despite limited numbers and experience, heavy casualties and overwhelming numbers in opposition. What more do you want?

I will revisit the story and battle doctrine to see if I can make the stealthy bits come out better

Wulfebane: Hope it helped, glad you like it :)

Cheers for the feedback!

-J-

[Octavulg]

Night Wolves

You could go all "formal IA title" and do "From the Darkness: The Night Wolves".

Named by their founder after a pack animal native to their home world of Remus, Brother Tiberon hoped to instill in his newly founded chapter the cohesion and cooperation of a pack with the cunning, stealth and independence of the lone wolf.

Mentioning Tiberon makes it feel more about him and less about the chapter here. I'd just say "Named for a pack animal native to their home world, the Night Wolves combine the cohesion and cooperation of a pack with the cunning and stealth of the lone wolf."

Founded: 22nd Founding

Some people work things smoothly into the narrative. I throw this piece of information out there, for you to do with as you will.

Founded by decree of the High Lords of Terra,

So's everyone else.

Brother Captain Tiberon’s name was put forward by the Stormseers of the Storm Lords after their consideration of who was best suited to fulfil the request of the High Lords. Tiberon was a veteran of several campaigns over his 200 years’ service to the Storm Lords and was a cunning and shrewd commander with an uncanny ability to ascertain the potential in either situation or man at a glance.

Him and every other Space Marine Chapter Master.

Also, this paragraph feels like it's being presented out of order. INtroduce the chapter, then explain Tiberon. Don't switch back and forth.

Tiberon was directed to set up his new Chapter wherever he saw fit as long as the founding was close enough to protect the valuable agri and mining worlds supplying the Forgeworlds of Accatran and Roma. After rejecting several other worlds as unsuitable due to lack of population or over-hostile climates, the training cadre came upon the feral world Remus. After infiltrating the forest world, the training cadre spent time observing the local populace. Finding a cunning and war-like people, Tiberon knew he had found his new chapter’s homeworld. After locating a suitable site, the training cadre settled and began the process of building the new chapter.

Remus is not exactly subtle. Silvia, Numitor, Capitolina...all would be less obvious.

Also, shouldn't they maybe take over the role of the Cursed Founding chapter they replaced?

While the Night Wolves were barely more than a company in size and still composed mostly of neophytes and only a handful of newly trained and equipped pack brothers, the first call for assistance came from nearby Roma.

Roma's even LESS subtle than Remus. Also, there already IS a Roma in 40K. It's on Earth. The Fists have a battle honour from there.

Plus, Space Marine chapters should be able to grow really quick (take a look at my math in the Foundings Article in the Time Lines section of the DIY Resources stickied at the top of the forum). They wouldn't be understrength long.

Orks were rampaging through the sector and with Roma’s fleets occupied elsewhere, the Night Wolves were the only Imperial forces nearby able to assist. A courier fleet carrying an STC copy to Roma had been ambushed by Orks and decimated. Several crippled ships, including that containing the STC copy had crash landed on an uncolonised world. Desperate to recover their sacred relic, the Arch Magos of Roma requested that the Night Wolves move to locate and secure the precious cargo.

What were Roma's forces doing that would be more important than an STC?

Also, I believe the Liber DIY Guide discusses just what an STC is. The STC is a big bloody computer-factory. You might have a copy of a printout. Might. Even that would be incredibly valuable.

Also, a Forge World'll have a Titan Legion, Skitarii, etc. Why do they need Space Marines?

Knowing that not only the equipment produced by the STC copy but also good relations with local forgeworlds could be vital to the future success of his new chapter, Tiberon ordered a small force mobilised to respond. Five sergeants volunteered and were given leave to select four neophytes each to command. Brother Siberus, a newly trained apothecary also volunteered and Tiberon, loath to lose precious geneseed if it could be avoided while the chapter was so vulnerable to losses, gave his consent.

...He didn't lead them? It's half the strength of the chapter! And of course an Apothecary'd go!

Also, what makes him think he'll get anything out of the STC?

On top of all this, this doesn't really seem to show us anything about the chapter.

Recruiting

Why does no one ever just put this in the gene-seed section or the home world section, both places where it makes sense?

New recruits are selected by veteran sergeants on garrison duty who survey, from a distance, villages as they ‘do the rounds’ across Remus looking for signs of Orks, Chaos or more recently, Tyranid infestation. The recruits are taken as they hunt alone in the forest and brought to the Den to begin their new lives. Neophyte marines are first inducted into a company that is currently rotated on to garrison duty on Remus. Here a new recruit is taught all the skills he needs to enhance the chances of his own survival. This includes training in stealth, ambush, reconnaissance and sniper skills. Brother Tiberon laid down a strong tradition of each marine being responsible for providing the chapter with not only his heart, body and soul but also his brain and all that it contains, thus, keen observation and post-bellum reporting are taught so that each recruit may fully contribute to the chapter. Further training is provided ‘on the job’ as the new recruit’s company is rotated out onto active duty.

And after all that, it's not really that interesting.

Also, Chapter serfs are probably better at that sort of thing, since they can go INTO the villages.

Night Wolf Captains are fiercely independent, flexible and cunning, values that are prized amongst the Night Wolves as a result of both their previous lives as tribesmen and as encouraged by Brother Tiberon through his founding teachings. Individual companies are designed to be completely autonomous as a result of the operational needs of the Night Wolves. With a large sector to protect and a steady stream of requests for aid, the eight companies of Night Wolves rotated off garrison duty at any one time find themselves almost constantly deployed on operations. To accommodate this need for long duration missions and, consequently, long periods between rest, recruitment and refitting, Night Wolf company structure is arranged slightly differently to those of other chapters. Three or four squads per company of around 20 scouts each are on hand whenever possible, in this way the Night Wolves are able to make heavy use of their scouts for reconnaissance and replenish their more senior ranks with new pack brothers while ‘on the move’. In addition, Night Wolves do not maintain Devastator squads. Squads are expected to be flexible and as independent as possible, able to deal with most threats they encounter. Consequently, heavy weapons specialists are distributed throughout each squad and tend to be armed with more mobile specialist weapons such as plasma guns, meltas, and sniper rifles. As a result of their combat doctrine, Night Wolves tend to field few large, slow moving vehicles but each company has its own supply of bikes, Land Speeders and other transports. Aircraft are utilised whenever practicable to provide air-support or to insert troops. These arrangements allows the Night Wolves to deploy the full array of weaponry and skills available to a Chapter within a single company.

80 Scouts per company would be...massive. That'd basically double the size of the chapter.

* * *

You're spending a lot of time explaining the obvious. I'd prefer more time spent explaining the unique bits. By which I mean cut out all the bits where you explain the obvious.

They don't feel desperately characterful, but they're not dull. They're...average. Which is hardly a bad thing. I'd like it better if there were a few unique, memorable things about them. Of course, part of it may be that the more unique elements are lost in the sea of stuff that every chapter has.

Anything in particular you're trying to get across? Elements you're interested in developing further? Bits about wolves you'd like to work in? Things you want to do but aren't sure how?

EDIT: Personally, I really like the idea of them taking over from a previous chapter. Wolves living in the shell of a chapter that came before them. Feels kinda neat to me.

[Jacobius]

Haha! Excellent! This is the kind of feedback I'm after. After more than two years of reading and re-reading I honestly can't see it with fresh eyes anymore. I want to comment on a few things, if only so I can get my reasoning out of my head. If it still sounds shaky, please say so.

Remus is not exactly subtle.

I know, intentionally so. Originally I was going to have a two planet system, Romulus and Remus but that fell by the wayside. Perhaps I should put it in?

In my defence:

1. You're the first person in over two years to mention it, so not sure how obvious it is.

2. The 40k universe lacks subtlety quite often e.g. Fenris, Sanguinius, Corvus Corax, Ferrus Manus for heaven's sake.

Also, shouldn't they maybe take over the role of the Cursed Founding chapter they replaced?

Yeah I only had a vague idea of "many chapters were purged, an unnamed chapter used to protect this region, go make a new chapter to protect this region" It could be an interesting plot hook, I will think on it. Don't think they'll be taking over their fortress monastery or anything. I expect that most chapters would have suffered exterminatus so there wouldn't be anything to take over.

Roma's even LESS subtle than Remus. Also, there already IS a Roma in 40K. It's on Earth. The Fists have a battle honour from there.

Ha! You've got me there, it IS pretty lame. At the time I was coming up with it I couldn't get Italian cities out of my head for some reason and then no-one else mentioned it so I left it. I'll come up with something else, it's not important what the name is for that one.

Plus, Space Marine chapters should be able to grow really quick (take a look at my math in the Foundings Article in the Time Lines section of the DIY Resources stickied at the top of the forum). They wouldn't be understrength long.

Are you saying that all ~1000 marines are implanted at once i.e. enough geneseed for the entire chapter is given out and implanted all in one go? Or are you saying that the initial decimation shouldn't hamper them for long? Because I figured they'd be cautious with implantation to begin with, especially coming on the heels of the cursed founding but that once they got going, replacing half a company shouldn't take too long. Perhaps I need to be clearer about what's going on with the initial beginnings of the chapter?

What were Roma's forces doing that would be more important than an STC?

Also, I believe the Liber DIY Guide discusses just what an STC is. The STC is a big bloody computer-factory. You might have a copy of a printout. Might. Even that would be incredibly valuable.

Also, a Forge World'll have a Titan Legion, Skitarii, etc. Why do they need Space Marines?

Fighting off an Ork Waaaaagh!? I've just reread that bit and I see the wording is confusing. Will fix that up. Also, I tried to be very clear that it's not an STC but an STC copy, well aware of the different rarities involved ;) Perhaps the insertion of the word 'hard' would clear things up?

As for the forgeworld forces, is this in regard to their general defence or the retrieval of the STC copy? If it's general defence, they're not the only valuable planets in the Night Wolves sphere of influence. If it's in regard to the STC, busy fighting off Orks. Maybe I need to make this clearer?

...He didn't lead them? It's half the strength of the chapter! And of course an Apothecary'd go!

It's 26 members of the company not 50. Perhaps he should go tho...

Also, what makes him think he'll get anything out of the STC?

STC copy = plan for some shiny bit not previously locally available = potential for access to said shiny bit through local forgeworlds. Maybe he won't get anything directly but still benefits the Imperium.

On top of all this, this doesn't really seem to show us anything about the chapter.

You're right. I need to show that they fell back on tactics learned in their previous lives because they found themselves so vastly outnumbered

Why does no one ever just put this in the gene-seed section or the home world section, both places where it makes sense?

It's a subheading under homeworld or would you prefer it just be the next paragraph under homeworld?

Also, Chapter serfs are probably better at that sort of thing, since they can go INTO the villages.

Remussars don't know about the space marines on their planet. They frighten their children with stories of Stone giants roaming the forests, snatching children with their ghostly white claws... P'raps this needs to be in there rather than in my head?

80 Scouts per company would be...massive. That'd basically double the size of the chapter.

Yep. But they only recruit from this one planet, are rarely present as more than a company on operations, they use scouts to replace tactical brothers and there is a fairly high attrition rate amongst scouts I expect. So while they start out with 80 scouts, they don't have them for long.

You're spending a lot of time explaining the obvious. I'd prefer more time spent explaining the unique bits. By which I mean cut out all the bits where you explain the obvious.

They
don't feel desperately characterful, but they're not dull. They're...average. Which is hardly a bad thing. I'd like it better if there were a few unique, memorable things about them. Of course, part of
it may be that the more unique elements are lost in the sea of stuff that every chapter has.

Anything in particular you're trying to get across? Elements you're interested in developing further? Bits about wolves you'd like to work in? Things you want to do but aren't sure how?

OK. I've been very cautious and have tried to avoid mary sueness as much as possible. I've tried to keep the wolf theme subtle but still there. The combat doctrine I'm going for is along the lines of modern special forces. They're not going in tank heavy, they don't do sieges. It's about mobility, stealth and applying small amounts of force for maximum effect. They're not brawlers like SW, they're not bloodthirsty like BA or WS, they're smart, pragmatic, rational, efficient, controlled, methodical, cunning. The Eruditium, as I see it in my head, epitomises this, they have consciously chosen to ingrain the gathering and manipulation of knowledge into the structure of their chapter and the training of every recruit. They're all about "fight smart, fight easy". It's why the White Paws are scattered throughout the squads, they are men to be respected for their experience and knowledge who MAY hold rank but don't have to, why sequester them all away in veteran squads? It's why I chose the wolf for their emblem, a small group that works together to bring down larger prey through cunning and stealth. They attempt to turn war into a science not an art.

So, my writing skills may not be sufficient to convey this. I will have to review and try again for a lot of it by the sounds.

Thank you for all the feedback, it's much appreciated :)

-J-

[NightrawenII]

Remus is not exactly subtle.

I know, intentionally so. Originally I was going to have a two planet system, Romulus and Remus but that fell by the wayside. Perhaps I should put it in?

In my defence:

1. You're the first person in over two years to mention it, so not sure how obvious it is.

2. The 40k universe lacks subtlety quite often e.g. Fenris, Sanguinius, Corvus Corax, Ferrus Manus for heaven's sake.

It's obvious.

It shouldn't be much problem (Well, if don't mind the connection with Remus Lupin, a character in Harry Potter. ), but... the Tiber is river near the Rome.

In regards to the "STC story".

If it's a data-file or printout, what prevents the Night Wolves from running away with it?

Btw, Tyberos is Chapter Master of Space Sharks.

~ NightrawenII