IA: Angels of Shadow 10/01/18 - added two Heroes

[Cpt_Reaper]

considering changing them to slightly death-worshiping. Would that be a bit over the top?

[Cpt_Reaper]

After I re-wrote my Angels of Light IT articles I realised that it made a lot of the fluff here inconsistant. So I re-wrote those sections...and got carried away. So I re-wrote the entire article using what I have learned from the development both articles. Enjoy ;) As always C&C is welcomed.

[Cpt_Reaper]

Something is worrying me. I keep reading through the article and think "Wow, I wrote that? It's amazing...but..." I can't work out why I keep saying "but". I feel it is missing something, a certain section or event :( I doubt not even the Emperor's Tarrot could help me with this dilema.

[Cpt_Reaper]

added in the beliefs section. I hope that was the "missing piece" I have been searching for.

[Cpt_Reaper]

Dare I ask it...is this Librarium Quality? The writting, not the pictures as I will add more in the future such as art and model images.

[NightrawenII]

Hello again, sorry for late comments... I was distracted by real world and new shiny Chapters in this forum. ;)

 

Origins

The Angels know that the split in the Dark Angels Legion was due to a breaking of their brotherhood, and so from the time a recruit is first brought into the the Chapter he is taught the value of his battle-brothers and that when that brotherhood breaks only damnation remains.

- There is difference between 'knowing' and 'believing in so'. Also I would be wary to use 'know 'and 'Dark Angels' in one sentence, the Lies within Lies and all the rock'n'roll.

 

Creation

It was within the 3rd Company that Draconis Umbra resided, a mere Brother Sergeant. It was during this time that the Deathwing veterans were searching for a suitable Chapter Master to take over the new Chapter that the Dark Angels Supreme Grand Master declared that the fledgling Chapter was to aid in the assault on a Fallen Base.

 

*snip*

 

Once the new Chapter had returned to the Rock, the mission complete, Draconis was declared the first Supreme Grand Master of the Chapter, henceforth known as the Angels of Shadow, in recognition of their Dark Angel brothers.

- It was... It was...

- I'm not buying this. The Fallen are highly guarded secret even within the DA ranks, a mere Brother Sergeant of fledgling Chapter shouldn't have any idea of the Hunt of the Fallen, nor be allowed to go anywhere near them.

 

Homeworld

The people of Invalice were protected by elite Knights, warriors trained from an early age to defend the people against the horrors of the vast forrests and mountainous regions of the planet.

- So basically Caliban 2.0... :)

 

There was one thing the people feared most, even more than the nightmarish Screamers. That thing, although descibed only in the histories of Invalice, was a daemonically possessed Warlord Titan that had been dropped on the planet by a warp storm, taken from the Eye of Terror.

- Screamers - plural. :P

- Well, it's technically Banelord, but it's easier to understand this way...

 

The Chapter lured the Warlord into the emerald-magma fields of the northern continent, confusing it with low flying Thunderhawk gunships.

- I'm not expert on this sort of things, but emerald-green magma?

 

In early M40 the Angels of Shadow returned in force to rebuid their lost base, and from then on have only looked forward to the glories of tomorrow.

- Ahem, what?

 

Appearance

While some outside the Chapter argue that this is due to organ mutation, in actual fact the reason is that the genetics of the people of Invalice...

- Technically speaking, it is gene-seed mutation. :P

 

While recruits drawn from other planets don't show these traits as much, there is a noticable difference in their appearance after a recruit becomes a full battle-brother.

- Why do you draw recruits from other planets?

 

Chapter Organisation

In the battle companies, the Tactical Squads are paired up for specific missions.

- To be honest, this is restrictive and not overly ideal solution, but if you want...

 

11th Company

It's members are those who were to be inducted into the Steelwing but were found to be unable to handle the shocking truth of the Fallen and the Battle of Caliban.

- In DA Chapter, such individuals continues their service in their respective Company, the selection process for Deathwing is long and careful, so the selected ones can handle the *truth*. No need for special company.

 

Combat Doctrine

While the Angels of Shadow respect the Codex Astartes and it's teachings, they also draw upon the wisdom of the Omnibus Mortis Angelica. This great tome describes every formation the Chapter has utilised, which foe it was used against and the terrain of the battlefield. While the Codex holds stratagies that Astartes employ, the Omnibus contains the stratagies of the Knights of Invalice. Every battle-brother carries a sword in addition to his standard equipment, and is trained from his induction in not only bolter drill but also sword-play. In this way a Force Commander may choose to follow the Codex or to follow the Omnibus, allowing for flexability and greater chances of success.

- Hm, so it's Codex Astartes under different name... -_-

 

Cheers, NightrawenII.

Edited March 31, 2011 by NightrawenII

[Cpt_Reaper]

- There is difference between 'knowing' and 'believing in so'. Also I would be wary to use 'know 'and 'Dark Angels' in one sentence, the Lies within Lies and all the rock'n'roll.

That is a valid point. It's in my list of things to fix now.

 

- It was... It was...

- I'm not buying this. The Fallen are highly guarded secret even within the DA ranks, a mere Brother Sergeant of fledgling Chapter shouldn't have any idea of the Hunt of the Fallen, nor be allowed to go anywhere near them.

Another good point. I guess I was just trying to think of a good story for the first Chapter Master. I will revise said story and hopefully make it more fluff-friendly

 

- So basically Caliban 2.0...

An unfortunate likeness. I suppose I can do more to make it unique. Consider it on the list.

 

- Screamers - plural.

- Well, it's technically Banelord, but it's easier to understand this way...

I was under the impression that a Banelord was Khorne specific. And it was meant to be a plural as on Invalice there are multiple members of the species.

 

- I'm not expert on this sort of things, but emerald-green magma?

You heard it correctly. Magma that glows green. Invalice isn't Terra and has unique geological features, and thus the planet's magma glows green. Although if you feel it is TOO out there I can always change this.

 

- Ahem, what?

By the time I wrote that I was quite tired, and it was more of a throw-away line. I intend to make it more dramatic in the next update.

 

Technically speaking, it is gene-seed mutation

While it is technically, I felt that as the changes are merely cosmetic it didn't warrent the title "mutated".

 

Why do you draw recruits from other planets?

I see this requires a little more detail. Thanks for the observation. Added to the list

 

To be honest, this is restrictive and not overly ideal solution, but if you want...

consider it a codex-divergance.

 

- In DA Chapter, such individuals continues their service in their respective Company, the selection process for Deathwing is long and careful, so the selected ones can handle the *truth*. No need for special company.

I really hope this doesn't sound rude. This isn't THE Dark Angels, only their successors. There is bound to be some differences. However, if you think that the 11th Company may be a bit much of a change, I can revise it.

 

- Hm, so it's Codex Astartes under different name...

darn. I was hoping that wouldn't come up again. More elaboration is needed I guess.

 

Thanks again for your assistance NightrawenII. As always you manage to find the faults I myself would never have seen. I hope the next update will require less points on what is wrong and more points on what you think I have done well.

[NightrawenII]

- In DA Chapter, such individuals continues their service in their respective Company, the selection process for Deathwing is long and careful, so the selected ones can handle the *truth*. No need for special company.

I really hope this doesn't sound rude. This isn't THE Dark Angels, only their successors. There is bound to be some differences. However, if you think that the 11th Company may be a bit much of a change, I can revise it.

No offence taken. But consider this, you are taking away the valuable asset, the veterans, and put them into 'Lone' Company. This company then wander around unsupported and separate from the rest of Chapter and the only reason for this practice is their inability to handle the secret of Fallen. :lol: They could stay in their original Company and thus increasing the overall efficiency and power of said Company as well.

 

The disdain reserved for this formation is somewhat surprising and inconceivable.

[Cpt_Reaper]

Now that I think about it, the way I have my Companies set up (10th being scouts and the 3rd being highly ranked marines, the 11th Company does seem kind of useless. Which raises the question, is my ranking-by-company system a good idea?

[Cpt_Reaper]

Formatting issues aside, I am loving how my article is going. Anyway, on to the point of this post. I just wanted to share a little history of my Chapter to show where they came from and the process of their development.

 

Recently I was talking to the friend that got me into 40k and began to remember those battles my Astartes first took part in. We fought on a table-tennis table, a army of Tyranids against my Codex Chapter, the Shadow Guard. The colour-scheme was almost identical to the Iron Hands, black with a silver trim and knee pads. I thought of the name after creating a heap of names and selecting the one I liked best.

My first tank, a little Twin-Las Razorback carried my command squad, my three tacticals focused on the larger beasts while my Land Raider Crusader worked on thinning out the gaunts. I lost the game in the end due to the gaunt's "Without Number" rule whittling me down.

After that game i decided to paint more than just my squad leaders, but my painting skills were far from tabletop quality and my paints were inferior. What was meant to be a silver trim turned into silver splodges. So I decided to make the entire shoulder pad silver, thinking it would look nice. However this made the model "top heavy" with minimal detail below the belt. Thus I painted the lower leg silver too, to balance out the model.

The hellmet proved easy to paint, using a method I learned from Josh I dipped a tooth-pick in paint to colour the eye lenses. I first tried red, but the only red I had was dark and was lost in the black of the helmet. I did have a "bright green" that I had used on some plasma coils and thought it would look much better. Don't ask where the silver face-plate idea came from. I just did that one day.

 

It was by this stage that I decided they needed character. They needed a Captain, a background. As if to answer my prayers, the forces that be decided that Codex: Dark Angels was to be released within a month. I looked at the green, black and white warriors of the Lion, learning their history. Upon purchasing my first real codex (my 4th edition Space marine codex was a copy of josh's as I was a poor kid starting highschool) I was hooked. But now I faced a problem, the name Shadow Guard was comming up a lot in my searches. I needed a name change, one that would suit their new lineage. I liked the idea of "Shadow", being not entirely darkness and yet not fully in the light just as the Dark Angels were. Shadow Angels seemed too simple, a poor rip off of the Dark Angels. Shadow...Angels...then like a charging Carnifex it hit me. Angels of Shadow!

 

I started to write my first Index Astartes article the smae time I joined up here. In fact, the first version of it can be found around here...somewhere. The rest, as the cliche goes, is history.

[Brother-Sergeant Bohemond]

You have quite a nice article here, however, I want to bring my Dark Angel lenses onto theis article.

 

Ok, so, foundation, early history, cool I like it except for ONE thing. New marines in a chapter attacking a fallen fortress?? No go, the DA would not do that at all. Yes to a Chaos fortress where the fallen happen to be, like one or two of them, maybe a Captain and his guard. Simple: the fallen could corrupt the newbies to the war...heck, they wouldnt even use their own Battle-Companies for that purepose, just their First Company and the other Chapters first companies.

 

so, structure organisation.Knights, cool, I likey, a fan, myself of the knightly theme. Check out my IA to see why.

 

Ranking. yup, looks good, except for ONE thing...Supreme Dark Master...yea....only Azrael has the title 'Supreme' as far as I see it. You see, as far as I see, the Unforgiven are still a Legion...with Azrael as their head. They play at being Codex structure adherent to please the Ultra smurfs...but they are not. In my opinion when the Lion awakes they will all merge into one legion again straight away. Azrael represents the Lion until his return, so, id stay away from Supreme because of the above arguement.

 

doctrine. yep, cool.

 

appearence, necessary?? seems a bit random and out of place, unless it was a geneseed mutation or genetics of the world plus geneseed (like the sallies)...

 

ummm, anything else i saw?? Oh yes, the 11th company...its cool, but veeeery blood angely...like, Death Company screams out at me. no, the Chaplains would nto induct any Marine who might not be able to handle the truth into the 1st company. Like, not at all. thats why we has Company-veterans :D

 

Thats all for now,

 

But, like I said, its good, just a few fluff things from a Dark Angel fluff maniac, Oh, and Shadow Guard is also the Chapter belonging to...the Shadow Guard!! A massive DA fan and a mod here on the DA forum.

 

oh, one more thing. How has the recent betrayel affected the Chapter?? especially seeing as they are the DA successors....

 

Im interested i that

[Cpt_Reaper]

New marines in a chapter attacking a fallen fortress?? No go, the DA would not do that at all.

This has been brought to my attention and will be changed in the next update.

 

Supreme Dark Master...yea....only Azrael has the title 'Supreme' as far as I see it. You see, as far as I see, the Unforgiven are still a Legion

I see your point. Supreme Dark Master has never felt right with me either, more of a get-out-of-gaol-free card. I will revise this and see what i can come up with.

 

appearence, necessary?? seems a bit random and out of place, unless it was a geneseed mutation or genetics of the world plus geneseed (like the sallies)...

I have seen the appearance section in many IA articles and wanted to make sure I kept mine up to their standards. It appears I am lacking in information. The appearance is due to genetics of recruits from invalice, but as to those not from Invalice looking the same...I still havn't worked out why.

 

the 11th company

NightrawenII has also commented on this issue and suggested it be dropped. I have a Plan B for the 11th, and if that does not work i will simply make the regular Companies a bit larger, maybe by a squad or two and see how that works.

 

Oh, and Shadow Guard is also the Chapter belonging to...the Shadow Guard!!

Hahaha...I know this now. That little bit on the name change isn't going in the article, I just wanted to tell everyone that has helped me develop the chapter know where they have come from. I could dig up my original article and show everyone to compare them :cuss

 

oh, one more thing. How has the recent betrayel affected the Chapter?? especially seeing as they are the DA successors....

Ah yes...well I am changing the betrayal to be about midway through their history. It will have pretty significate effects; a penitant crusade, a run-in with a zealous Chapter and an appearance by the Dark Angels themselves.

[Brother-Sergeant Bohemond]

ooo, DA arrival, sounds really interesting. But I doubt that it would be a penitent crusade, rather, knowing our affinity for secrecy, we would keep it a secret. And hunt them down with more vigour.

 

From what I imagine of the sons of the Lion, that betrayel would have the effect of them becoming even more zealous than usual in hunting any traitors of the Lion. perhaps they could also be even more ruthless to any form of traitors than even other zealous chapters. They wouldnt be so zealous when it comes to xenos, but a world that turnmed traitor?? Yea, I think they would descend and completely destroy them for treachery.

 

but, its your chapter, so if what i think meshes with you, cool, if not, id love to see how they habdle the knowledge that another Lutheran betrayel occured in their very own chapter. So, in that case, the shame drives them on a self-infliced penitent crusade?? So many possibilities...

[Cpt_Reaper]

Well I had originally had it that they view the sins of the Fallen were theirs alone to suffer for, and that they blame neither themselves or the Dark Angels for what happened during the Heresy. They would execute an Angel of Light (the traitors and my chaos warband) on sight, declaring them unable to be redeemed.

I like your ideas though. They would help add to the character of my Chapter. I may include them in the next update.

[Cpt_Reaper]

While yet again it appears I have yet to master the formatting of the article, I have re-done most of it while taking advice from the feedback I have been provided with.

[Brother-Sergeant Bohemond]

However, the Chapter still was without a name, being designated Chapter Umbra-11a.

One of the first recruits to be taken in was a boy named Draconis Umbra, skilled with the sword and quickly seen as a born leader. It was he that first used the term “Angels of Shadow”, stating that the Chapter were as Angels that hailed from the kingdom in the eternal night, a colloquialism meaning they had come from space

 

Their duty done, the Deathwing veterans returned to their Chapter and left the Angels of Shadow to forge it's own destiny. The Chapter was left in the hands of Draconis Umbra, who had risen quickly through the ranks and was declared the Chapter Master and given the title Master of Shadows.

 

Ok, origins/background looks good, except, Im not sure that Draconis would be the first Chjapter-Master in an Unforgiven Chapter, id think that one of the DW would be appointed by the SGM of the DA...just my personal thought, but its one of those muddy thngs where the training cadre might have been needed back at the Rock. Also, I'd expect a larger training cadre, 3 deathwing seems too few, even if they are Deathwing! Also, id want to see a Company -master and an Interregator Chaplian. Og, and a Librarian, whose gonna teain all the psykers?? And a couple of Techmrines to maintian all the gear...

 

Yea, training cadre needs to be bigger. When a new chapter is formed it is a massive undertaking.

 

Ok, looks very Dark Angel arrival on Caliban, not saying its a bad thing, but thats what I was thinking when I read this. I like it, but just saying that others might view it as tooo similar to the Dark Angel arrival on Caliban.

 

full complement of TDA

 

Ummm, no. You are 11th founding, not, like anything less than 7th. No, too few suits in the Imperium, maybe 60 suits, but not 150 odd suits. No, I didnt pull that number out of the air: 105 forthe first company 20 for the HQ elements, like Chappies and Libbies and GrandMaster, and 30 for spares. You will have around 60...

[Cpt_Reaper]

Well short of completely ripping of Caliban, I see no other way to explain the Chapter culture, naming tradiotions and focus on swords etc. I would love to hear any suggestions.

 

On the TDA issue, I have been thinking that I could have it as "The Dark angels gave the Chapter some spare suits from the Chapter Vaults to add to those gifted by the Mechanicus". Cliche/impossible?

[Brother-Sergeant Bohemond]

Ummm, not impossible, no...and not really cliche. If they did that, then they would have to have had high expectations...

 

Maybe you can bring in the more 'we are still a Legion' theme here, perhaps you consider yourself a sub-Chapter to the dark Angels, like 'Chapter 17' or something like that, while the DA are, to your guys, 'Chapter 1' of the Dark Angels Legion. But, to play the trule loyal wih the HLoT you are just a 'chapter'. I dunno, see what you cna do with that.

 

As for Caliban rip off...its hard to come up with something...perhaps not a 'Death World' but a standard 'Feudal World' with actual Knights and Lords and Barons etc: which you guys rule over through the current King/Grand Duke/Viceroy/whatever-title-you-wanna-give-him. Remember; not all Astartes rule their planets directly, some have governers, like Badab before Huron declared himself the Tyrant.

 

The Fuedal world can give you Knights and swords and horses!!! Check out my Paladrean Knights through the link in my siggie...I has Knights, like you, somehow...its weird that we have Knightly chapters with our 8th companies going renegade...and we didnt know these chapters existed. Anyway, look at how I established the 'Knightly feel' through a Feudal world. It may help, or it may not...

[Cpt_Reaper]

Thanks for the advice. I will read your IA for some ideas. Also...your 8th went renegade too? Interesting turn of events.

[Brother-Sergeant Bohemond]

Well, part. have not written it in yet. pretty much the Captain and half turned to Khorne. He luved his combat...and had a bucket full of ambition...

[Cpt_Reaper]

Interesting. I wonder if this was connected...perhaps not. My 8th Company are very Tzeentch-orientated.

 

Anyway, upon the next update:

- Invalice changed from Death-world to Feudal World. Brief description will be given on the society.

- Relationship with Dark Angels explored/detailed

- Change name of current Chapter Master

- hinted alliance with Eldar; assist in tracking down Fallen/ Angels of Light in return for assisting the Eldar in attacking Dark Eldar bases.

- Major fight against Angels of Light

- some artwork when I can be bothered scanning it.

Edited May 12, 2011 by 11th Company Dark Master

[Cpt_Reaper]

Currently working on another update. I am trying to fix the formatting isses (overlapping images etc) and would like some assistance with getting my Chapter symbol to appear in the headers instead of the skull. The overlap issues should be fixed simply through adding more sections to the article, which i hope will counter the streamlining/cutting down of some current sections.

 

I would appreciate any c&c on what I currently have so the next update doesn't go too far off the tracks.

[Cpt_Reaper]

Posted the update last night but didn't manage to fix those damned formatting errors. I swear that it's is those alone that make the article feel like it is unfathomably far from librarium standards. And that's on the writting, not the image placement. "Image is overlapping a heading, the actual article content quality is lessoned. What's that? The Angels of Shadow have come a long way and are now sword-weilding zealots? Well that image is in the wrong spot so I hate it."

Please oh please can someone who is more concerned with the writting comment on this to put my fears to rest.

[Brother-Sergeant Bohemond]

Its looking really good now. A few minor quibbles, the training cadre needs to be bigger. Id expect a Company-Master to help out in the training, you need an interregator-Chaplain, a Librarian Epistoly to actually train new Psykers and a couple of Techmarines. promote your first Chapter-Master guy to the rank of Company-Master when he was in the DA.

 

Ok, why all the fancy stuff?? Whats the need for that? Why do you get it and not, say the AoA? The Consecrators have all the good stuff and relics, it says so in the codex.

 

Also, you say Invalice is rich in resources as are the others planets and moons, you could just as easily say that it was a resource rich system leading to the establishment of a Forgeworld next door. (explains high tech) but leads to even more secrecy?? You dont want those weird cyborg Priests learning anything do ya?

 

But, aparts from that, a few typos. Just run through looking for grammar and typos.

[NightrawenII]

Also, you say Invalice is rich in resources as are the others planets and moons, you could just as easily say that it was a resource rich system leading to the establishment of a Forgeworld next door. (explains high tech) but leads to even more secrecy?? You dont want those weird cyborg Priests learning anything do ya?

Please, no Forgeworld next door. Nearly every DIY Chapter has FW next door.