Story to explain raptor riding women

[Lone Scout]

Some of you have seen my pic of the SoB on a Raptor. This story is designed to explain who they are and why they are riding lizards....hopefully. I would like you to comment even if its a love it, hate it response. Writters are an insecure breed and if you don't post something we assume you hate it :tu:

So heres the start, hope you enjoy it.

 

Fallen Angels

 

Bruno was running again, the sound of gunfire still clear in the jungle behind him. Bruno was a heavily muscled man, young and fit but his pursuer was closing rapidly. He had known fear before, stalking the shadow cats of the equatorial jungle of Arnhem 4. What he was feeling now was abject terror. He had run flat out for 11 minutes and his muscles were screaming from the build up of lactic acid. He hurdled a fallen log covered in moss and fungus and landed in the bracken fern of the jungle floor. He paused struggling to overcome his fear and to lower his heart beat and respiration.

 

The first minute passed then a second one, he strained to hear a noise that would give away his enemies position but the jungle was silent. Bruno slowly turned and peered over the log. SSSSsssshhhhtttttttttttttttttt the raptor was less than a meter from his face, it's yellow eyes bright with intelligence and hate. The woman saddled on its back had her bolt pistol levelled at his head. Two more raptor's approached both with female riders. Bruno quickly noted the symbols of the inquisition on their armour but these were not Sororitas they were different somehow.

“Who are you” shouted Bruno.

The closest raptor hist at him again and turned it's head to regarded him as if he had addressed it.

“We are fallen angels", replied one of the women as a shot from her bolt pistol finally ended Bruno's fear.

 

 

Governor Marcus looked at the footage on the data slate. It showed one of his commando squads being run down and butchered by women on raptors.

“What heresy is this” he mumbled to himself.

The soldier in front thought it was a question “we do not know who they are your grace”.

Governor Marcus regarded the man with cold contempt. His fists balled up and rage overcame him. He struck the soldier on the jaw and the blow knocked the man to the ground.

“I bloody know that you don't know who they are you stupid bastard” Marcus screamed as he kicked the man with his perfectly polished boots. Marcus kicked the man till he was silent and still. The govoner paced the command bunker still mumbling to himself. He had seen the heart of his army ripped out by these women, bloody women. He had sent his assassins and commandos to kill them as they slept yet none got close. Marcus passed the unconscious man on the floor and kicked him again.

“Who are you...who is supporting you” ?

Marcus paused the footage and zoomed in on the rider he stared hard at her backpack. Marcus flung the data slate across the room and it exploded against the wall in a shower of sparks. Marcus ran at the fallen man and savagely kicked him in the head.

“Damn it....DAMN IT” he yelled !

Major Templeton was struggling to contain him amusement

“What now Marcus, what did you see”?

The governor’s replied drained the colour from Templeton’s face “Astartes”.

[Blood Angel Scout]

Interesting storyline you have here, only thing I would comment on is to change the curses to those found in the 41st millenium. That apart, looking forward to the next installment

[Commander Sasha]

A promising start, I look forward to hearing more.

I would suggest trying to avoid obscenities, even when as quotes; they always appear clumsy, and can give an immature feel to an otherwise excellent piece.

 

Now that you have made a start, go for a longer passage before posting; I was disappointed it ended so soon!

 

Is this an isolated project, or is this to be background for your army? If so, rogue Sisters are a weakness of mine, I use a female captain, and have female models for scouts, drivers, gunners etc. in my vanilla Marine army.

 

Looking forward to the next chapter,

Commander Sasha