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Sure, sure, I'll get out of the kitchen. I'll just park myself on the other side of the canteen counter... and bully your serfs from there. devil.gif

Oi! That's not clean enough! I can't see my face in it yet! And you! Yes, you, that's not how you boil an egg! Don't look at me - look at the food! *Throws spoon* laugh.png

Sure, sure, I'll get out of the kitchen. I'll just park myself on the other side of the canteen counter... and bully your serfs from there. devil.gif

Oi! That's not clean enough! I can't see my face in it yet! And you! Yes, you, that's not how you boil an egg! Don't look at me - look at the food! *Throws spoon* laugh.png

Do I have to separate you two? laugh.png

Remember, Pater Fistmas won't bring an new Oven or Volkite weapon of choice to either of you if you're bad....! msn-wink.gif

Cormac, wearing the brown and purple of the Imperial Dragons, busied himself with making sure the fields of fire overlapped just right. As any son of Dorn would at this time of year, Cormac was crafting a singular facet of siege craft, in this case a sentry tower bristling with firepower called the Tree of Defiance in the Codex Astartes.

 

Those close to him could hear the soft intonations of the rite of martyrdom, a certain variant known as the Fistmas Peril.

 

Line the halls with lots of sentries

A-a-ve Imper-a-tor

Tis' the season for no mercies

A-a-ve Imper-a-tor

 

'ware the ancient Fistmas Peril,

A-a-ve Imper-a-tor

Don we now our armoured apparel,

A-a-ve Imper-a-tor

 

See the blazing heretic before us

A-a-ve Imper-a-tor

Strike down the traitor and join the righteous,

A-a-ve Imper-a-tor

 

Follow me in honor of Fistmas

A-a-ve Imper-a-tor

While I tell of rewards for the zealous,

A-a-ve Imper-a-tor

 

Fast away passes the chance for glory

A-a-ve Imper-a-tor

Hail the revered, those lads of story

A-a-ve Imper-a-tor

 

Fire we praetors, all together,

A-a-ve Imper-a-tor

Heedless of the world and weather,

A-a-ve Imper-a-tor

Not to be a spoil-sport, but I don't actually have a bike at the moment.sweat.gif

My last one turned out to be stolen property and had to be returned, and the one before that was a casualty of the Space Wolves. So far I've managed to collect one wheel towards building my next one.

Still, apart from vortex grenading a malevolent fiend-in-oven-form and potentially destroying the whole place, I've been a fairly good Liberite this year, so I remain hopeful that I might get at least a second wheel this Christmas TerraFest Fistmas! laugh.png

Also, remind me to stay the hell away from Cormac's tree.ermm.gif

Not just any tree - A majestic giant of a tree, a Primarch of the forest, festooned with the innards of mankind's foes, decorated with polished sigils depicting the heraldry of a thousand Chapters, the better to reflect the lights of the two hundred or so cunningly artificed 'Fury Lights', a string of lights along a length of barbed chain that wraps several times around the massive tree.

And of course, upwards of a dozen seriously heavy gun emplacements suspended from the stoutest branches which only add to the festive malevolence.turned.gif

And at the very top, the Imperial Aquila, resplendent amongst it's traditional nest of reinforced ceramite and anti-air weaponry.laugh.png

Here is the next part. The final part will hopefully be posted around 5pm GMT tomorrow.

 

 

Part two:

 

"Did you hear that?"

 

++Hear what?++ asked Scion of Ferrus.

 

"Sounded like...bells. And screaming."

 

++I heard no such sound++

 

Deathspectresgt7 looked at his colleague. The Son of the Gorgon looked nonplussed. "Are you sure? No, perhaps I imagined it."

 

++Indeed. There are times where one cannot but hear things that are impossible to explain. Let us investigate anyway. Our Moderatii Brothers have spoken of a possible intruder.++

 

+++

 

The Reclusium was a barely contained riot. So many of the Legio's Brothers and Sisters were gathered to take advantage of the yearly "Airing of grievances", that there was a very long queue past the main doors.

 

At the front of the hallowed room, three imposing figures made their presences known. Another stood further back in the shadows. Brother Tyler had a long staff in his grasp, and with a practiced ease, slammed it into the ground thrice. The impacts made several sacred relics shudder within their alcoves.

 

"I bring this annual ceremony to order. There will be no arguments. Our words are final."

 

Many of the Legio gulped, remembering those who crossed the three Marines who stood before them. No one knew but to where those who defied the judgements meted out had gone.

 

No one wanted to find out either...

 

"Begin."

 

The first in the queue stammered his way through his diatribe, extolling at length his complaint, before trailing off when he realised that no one was listening. His rage at being ignored died as fast as it had swelled, when he could hear it too.

 

Jingle, Jingle, Jingle. Argggggh! Nooooooo! Jingle, Jingle, Jingle.

 

"What on Colchis was that?!" Dark Apostle Thirst demanded.

 

"Our next target." replied 1000Heathens smiling as he readied his relic Bolter. The blood drained from the next Marines' face.

 

"It's him."

 

"Him?" Heathens raised an eyebrow quizically.

 

"It's Pater Fistmas!"

 

A roar of laughter engulfed the Reclusium, leaving the unnamed Marine's face scarlet with embarrassment.

 

"It's him, I tell you! Pater Fistmas. He delivers presents to those who resist Heresy and follow the Emperor!"

 

Another roar of laughter answered his outburst, forcing the Marine to make an inelegant exit.

 

Bah! They'll soon learn! Pater Fistmas won't be stopping here to leave presents that those unbelievers!

 

Brother Tyler watched the Marine exit the room in haste, his eyes never leaving the earnest look on his face. It was, of course, nonsense, but he didn't rise to his position within the Legio and remain there for as long as he has done by ignoring anything, no matter how trivial. He would look further in to this "Pater Fistmas".

 

"Let us continue, Brothers and Sisters. Remember, the feats of Strength will commence at 18.00 hours! Do not be tardy."

 

+++

 

"I'm telling you, I heard something."

 

"No one doubts it. All we are saying is, we didn't."

 

The Chaplain sighed. He, like an increasing amount of Liberites had heard the sound of slay bells. He knew that it was an old tale, told to recalcitrant children to scare them into praying to the Emperor. But still.

 

"Ugh. Come on then, let's go and have a look around. If there is an intruder, there won't be much he can do to avoid everyone in the Legio."

 

+++

 

The Fang. Whilst not the Fang, it was what the Sons of Fenris called their area of the Legio's Fortress Monastery. The Great Hall echoed with the sound of carousing and a small fight between some of the younger Marines. Grey Mage watched with amusement as one youngling was catapulted skywards into a table. His smile fell to a deep frown when he realised that most of the booze was on it.

 

"Knock it off!" he bared his teeth warningly. "The next Marine to topple that table pays the tab for a month!"

 

The Marines fighting whined at the utterance of the word "tab", but carried on regardless, their grappling moving well away from the table in question.

 

"Speaking of alcohol, where's the stuff we're supposed to be taking to the Liber later on?" The Moderatii asked of Forte, the Space Wolves envoy to that department.

 

"Locked up fast." replied Forte looking nervous. "I had to use fifteen Gun Servitors to defend it. You know what the cubs are like when they get a sniff of the liquor."

 

Grey Mage nodded satisfied. Last year, the Liberites had thrown a decent party, right enough, but their drinks left much to be desired...

 

Jingle, Jingle, Jingle. Argggggh! Nooooooo! Jingle, Jingle, Jingle.

 

"You say something?"

 

"No."

 

"I knew I should've listened to Lord Ragnorok and not tried that hooch Maverick gave me. Has quite the kick..."

 

+++

 

"For Tzeentch!"

 

The sword arc was tight and caught her opponent across the side of the head. Furyou Miko pressed her attack, punching her now reeling duelling partner in the stomach. Standing over him in triumph, her attention turned to the commotion near the door. Moderatii Insane Psychopath was standing before the departments' vid screen. Approaching warily, Miko could overhear parts of the conversation.

 

"...Imperative that all members search for the intruder. Reports are coming from all over of hearing a noise."

 

"A noise." IP was distinctly unimpressed.

 

"I understand your derision, but I will not have an unwelcome...guest within these hallowed walls. I expect everyone to search for this intruder.

 

"No exception. Tyler out."

 

IP turned to Miko. "You heard enough of it. What do you think?"

 

Miko shrugged. "Haven't a clue. Another drill?"

 

The Iron Warrior shook his head. "Drills are scheduled with all Moderatii given enough forewarning. No, whatever this is about, the Administratum is taking this very seriously."

 

Miko shook for a moment, her armour changing shape it's hue from a deep blue and yellow, to a dark grey, covered in part by a blue tabard. IP did not even raise an eyebrow.

 

"I'll alert the Sisters. If there is an intruder, let us give them a warm welcome!"

 

Despite himself, IP smiled. Whilst it was unusual for some members to have more than one allegiance, Miko was one who took her duties seriously, regardless of which faction she was with at the time...

 

+++

 

Damn and blast it!

 

Aquilanus rubbed the back of his head, angry that someone had managed to get the drop on him.

 

What the Feth was that?! asked the Space Wolf.

 

All I know is, you were supposed to be watching out for it furball! the Angel of Salvation replied.

 

Listen dress wearer! This isn't the time for recrimination!

 

+++Quiet! Both of you! We need to work out exactly what we all saw.+++

 

I don't much like your tone tin man!

 

+++And no one likes a Marine with secrets either Son of El'Jonson+++ replied the Steel Wing angrily. +++So, unless you want your secrets revealed, might I suggest remaining quiet

 

I saw a flash of yellow armour. Black edges. The Sister piped up.

 

A Son of Dorn? That's not like one of them The Rainbow Warrior mused.

 

I never said it was a Dornian. But the armour was definitely yellow.

 

It was a darker shade though. Dirtier, old even. As old as the original Legion. The Amber Dragon added.

 

Graaaaaaahh! agreed the Bahltimyr Reaver.

 

Whatever it was, it was in a hurry. I think we need to call it in. The Administratum was...adamant that this was resolved quickly.

 

+++

 

There are no true believers here.

 

The figure felt a brief pang of pity, but as quick as it appeared, it was gone. Watching Marine, he heard his monologue, but more, he heard his very thoughts. Belief was waning, such as it was now. He'd become a legend and now a barely remembered tale.

 

Slipping back into his own thoughts, he remembered a time long ago. A time that he walked amongst the living. A time where Fistmas was a time of celebration...and death to ones' enemies.

 

He would have to remind everyone to fear Pater Fistmas.

So are we going to war against Santa Claus?

 

Then again, if he is known to destroy those who don't believe in him, it would make my choice of 'peril' to replace 'carol' rather inspired. :p

Edited by Cormac Airt

I am actually tempted to sing that laugh.png

Now that I have the words, I dare say a few might be singing it at some point in the last part msn-wink.gif

So are we going to war against Santa Claus?

Then again, if he is known to destroy those who don't believe in him, it would make my choice of 'peril' to replace 'carol' rather inspired. tongue.png

It does scan quite well smile.png

But who said anything about Pater Fistmas destroying anyone? msn-wink.gif

Edited by Aquilanus

This is going to end with a festive few explosions isn't it? :lol: PERFECT! Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to recover my Sons of Doom Fire-Scythe and my Vanquishers Relic Bolter... :devil:

 

Cambrius

This is going to end with a festive few explosions isn't it? laugh.png PERFECT! Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to recover my Sons of Doom Fire-Scythe and my Vanquishers Relic Bolter... devil.gif

Cambrius

There will be appearances of far more Liber Frater, so, you'll get a chance to use them msn-wink.gif

Everybody stand back. I know exactly what to do - I shall make him cookies. It's a flawless plan, really. Maybe. Pater Fistmas likes lemon and ginger, right? sweat.gif

Good plan!

I'll go cook up some mince pies, too.

I'd let Ludo do it, but he might try and warm them up them in the Eye of Terror.tongue.png

Which reminds me, Cormac - the grox milk's got to be mulled, otherwise according to legend he'll throw a bag of concrete at your head while you're sleeping.

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