Seuss and Grimdark

[DarKHaZZ13]

Rawr. Would you relax Queen Victoria I was just trying to diffuse the situation.

 

You should probably check with the doctor for that stick up your butt though.

 

Not helping man. Really, let him have his opinion, and let my work speak for itself.

 

Situations have a way of diffusing themselves if you stop poking them with a stick.

 

+ infinity.

make moar.

the big E demands it

:)

[GooseDaMoose]

You're right guys.

I'm sorry, Gree, for the Queen Victoria jive and all that, it was too hard to resist, and I apologise. It's cool that you don't like it the poem, of course.

 

But no, by "diffusing the situation" I did not mean to be intolerant towards your opinion, I merely tried to suggest that, perhaps, it's not something to get so worked up about.

 

I'm not trying to be inflammatory, man, and I'm sorry for trouble caused.

[Gree]

You're right guys.

I'm sorry, Gree, for the Queen Victoria jive and all that, it was too hard to resist, and I apologise. It's cool that you don't like it the poem, of course.

 

But no, by "diffusing the situation" I did not mean to be intolerant towards your opinion, I merely tried to suggest that, perhaps, it's not something to get so worked up about.

 

I'm not trying to be inflammatory, man, and I'm sorry for trouble caused.

 

That's fine. but I'm not worked up about it at all. It's just a fanfic after all.

[GooseDaMoose]

Indeed.

 

And now I think it's time for a celebratory high five and beer!

[Nacho Wolf]

And now that we're past that little... incident, we can all get back to the topic at hand.

WE WANT MORE! :)

[fivepointedstar]

Firepower that was brilliant work how long did that take you to master the art of rhyme-fu?

[DarKHaZZ13]

And all is well once again ;)

 

lets hope stuff liek that dosn't happen everytime haha B)

[Firepower]

Sammael I Am

 

Friend:

Next in our whimsical program,

The Ravenwing lord Sammael-I-Am.

And so I ask Sammael-I-Am,

How do you feel of the Fallen damned?

 

 

Sammael-I-Am:

I do not like those Fallen damned,

I do not like them, for Sammael-I-Am.

 

 

Friend:

Now do you really, truly hate,

Those Fallen brothers, those reprobates?

For to me it seems Sammael-I-Am,

This Fallen hunt is one big scam.

 

 

Sammael-I-Am:

I do so hate those fallen damned!

I hate them, for Sammael-I-Am!

 

 

Friend:

How can this be, my flying chum?

The fallen are coke to your rum!

Without those ancient enemies,

Not one reader’s eye your fluff would please.

 

 

Sammael-I-Am:

I hate and loathe those Fallen damned!

I hate them, for Sammael-I-Am!

 

 

Friend:

But please, oh friend of mine you jest,

As you stand there and beat your chest!

What else have you, those fancy dresses?

You really think that style impresses?

 

 

Sammael-I-Am:

I despise and curse those Fallen damned!

I hate them, for Sammael-I-Am!

 

 

Friend:

But please, my friend I ask sincere,

What else do your fans have to hold dear?

You can’t even pick a paint scheme,

Is it black, your trademark green, or cream?

 

And what about your Chapter structures?

Not even fun with its departures!

So you move your bikes into the Second,

That hardly means your background's deepened.

 

 

Sammael-I-Am:

I spit upon those Fallen damned!

I hate them, for Sammael-I-Am!

 

 

Friend:

I see! You play your Fearless rule,

But it still won’t make you cool.

Please brother, oh friend, you must admit,

Without the Fallen, you’re dull as *ahem*

 

No flaw, no beer, not one odd thing,

Just robes and normal stuff plus “wing,”

So really, truly, I have to ask,

Who’ll care once you complete your task?

 

And even with your Primarch’s name,

You chose this monkish theme? It’s lame!

Now Lions, oh that is a theme!

Much better than this Angel routine.

 

And even though it’s your fluff’s heart and soul,

This Fallen hunt’s a huge plot hole!

To cover your shame for your mistake,

Treasonous paths you often take!

 

You flee from battle and leave allies,

At the slightest rumor of your prize,

I’m sure the Guard envies your new black pearls,

When you leave them alone to defend His worlds.

 

 

Sammael-I-Am:

You speak the truth, you’ve broke me down,

I cannot bear another round.

I need the Fallen, those lovable jerks,

To make up for my lack of quirks.

 

We have nothing else that's odd or queer,

For our fan base to hold dear,

But now I see you know too much,

I’ll have to deal with you as such!

 

 

Friend:

Oh please, my friend, you must admit,

There’s not much you can do of it,

Your dex is old and poorly planned,

At most you could just slap my hand.

 

 

Sammael-I-Am:

You think that do you, you smart mouth punk?

Well this is one slight I can debunk.

You forget, you’ve made one huge mistake,

GW just gave us an update.

 

 

And so Sammael-I-Am would violently end,

The taunting ramblings of his friend,

But even then, with his duty done,

The Fallen were still what made him fun.

 

[Darkchild130]

brilliant!

 

Darkchild

[DarKHaZZ13]

I love it.

[GooseDaMoose]

Aahaha aww shucks.

 

I heart you.

[Seahawk]

:cuss

[Nacho Wolf]

Hahaha very nice, 'specialy the part about the beer

[Captain Juan Juarez]

I move to vote that each gets it's own thread.. These two are more than deserving of it.

 

 

Also, Firepower, I now have another reason to hate you :D

[Bloodcrusade]

You should probably check with the doctor for that stick up your butt though.

 

Haha, I could only imagine my friend saying it though, all happy and sing-song like.

 

 

Really good work there Firepower. I quite enjoyed it and was pleasantly surprised it was you who was the OP as I hadn't looked before I clicked(I think we can all claim that mistake once or twice before :) )

[Ace Debonair]

Bonus points for not harping on about the DA being 'emo' somehow. :)

 

Good stuff - I liked this one more than the Ultramarine one, actually.

[Firepower]

Bonus points for not harping on about the DA being 'emo' somehow. :rolleyes:

 

Didn't really occur to me, actually. I already had plenty to work with as you can see :)

 

Also, Firepower, I now have another reason to hate you ;)

 

I'm not quite sure if that's a good or a bad thing.....

 

 

Thanks for the compliments/smirks/etc. everyone. It'll likely be a longer wait for the next installment, given that my term here in Geneva is coming to a close (2 10-15 page papers to research and write up these next two weeks, on top of logistical nonsense).

 

Although I'd like an opinion on which 1st Founding to do next, accompanied by how much trouble I'm likely to have writing them based on familiarity:

 

Imperial Fists (moderate)

 

Space Wolves (almost too easy)

 

Salamanders (moderate)

 

Iron Hands (very hard)

 

Raven Guard (moderately hard)

 

Blood Angels (almost too easy)

 

White Scars (very hard)

[Ace Debonair]

Bonus points for not harping on about the DA being 'emo' somehow. :P

 

Didn't really occur to me, actually. I already had plenty to work with as you can see :P

 

True. :teehee:

And accusing chapters of 'emo-ness' is something best not done lightly. :P

 

Although I'd like an opinion on which 1st Founding to do next, accompanied by how much trouble I'm likely to have writing them based on familiarity:

 

The 'Fists get my vote. If ever a chapter needed to lighten up, it's the miserable bunch in the banana-coloured armour. :tu:

[Lysimachus]

Awesome stuff FP, really clever! I lol'd at the sam-I-am bit :woot:

[*Furyou Miko]

A banana elemental?

 

Ssh, don't tell the others, they still think I'm Astartes!

[Nacho Wolf]

I reckon a wolves one would be funny, but I'm not sure what you could put in it.. wer'e drunk barbarians, and proud of it :jaw:

[Quixus]

Really funny poems.

 

I have to ask though, why no traitor legions in your list? If they were included, I'd say Word Bearers or if you do single characters Arhiman. IMHO they have great comical potential.

 

From the loyalists, I'd like to hear about the beer-quaffing Space Puppies.

 

Though I don't have any poetic talent, i got an idea what to do with the Iron Hands: maybe you could do a marine making sheep's eyes at a pariah, since he obviously as achieved a perfect symbiosis of man and machine.

[Piousservant]

The second one is just as good as the first! :rolleyes:

 

BA get my vote for the next one...

[Firepower]

I have to ask though, why no traitor legions in your list?

 

Because it's unsportsmanlike, considering they've already got a crap codex to deal with. :lol:

 

Actually, I am not doing Traitors simply because this is already quite a bit of work to do. Granted, I normally just get drunk or peeved and crap one of these out of my head in a half hour (also how I write my papers for my Masters, and it's working so far ;) ), but when it goes from a spur of the moment thing to a scheduled ordeal, it begins to sap the fun out of it (like painting). So I'm starting 'small' with the loyalists, and if I can still make myself giggle by the time it's done, I'll take a shot at the Traitors.

 

As for the next installment, like Nacho Wolf said, it's kinda hard to make something particularly funny about the Wolves because, well, they already kinda do it themselves :P . I think Dorn's kiddies will be next on the chopping block: as Ace said, they need a good poke , jab , kick in the funny-bone. I should know :P

 

One thing I need to work on though: if I'm going to mimic Seuss, I need to start making up words...which is deceptively difficult to do well, actually.