Yaj Posted May 15, 2011 Share Posted May 15, 2011 Not sure where this story will go as I'm making it up of the top of my head. I apologise in advance if it A. makes no sense and B. for being badly punctuated. Also I've never actually wrote a Space Marine story before so...Here goes! My name is Tariaus Ingor, I am of the Hounds of Night Chapter of the Imperial Astartes and I am alone in the dark but my brothers will find me, they will find me... 'How did I? no I've never been else where but here fighting alongside my brothers' my thoughts are distracted and confused but I can not place why they would be. This world I am on will go down on my cut of flesh as one of epic proportions. I do not use that word lightly for this nameless rock I fight upon for the glory of the Emperor and Primarch is my first battle as a full battle brother of the Hounds of Night! 'Tariaus Ingor!' the voice is sharp and simple, like the ancient stone knives used many ages past on Holy Terra. I met a trader once, before I joined the ranks of the superhuman and knew such things to be lies, he sold me an original stone knife he said that it was from Holy Terra itself. I still dream on occasion of what I shall do to that charlattan if I ever meet him again.. 'Tariaus Ingor!!! look to your weapon, the enemy is upon us' I don't respond..no I do, dont I? my hands seem to move before I've even registered my Flesh-Smiths orders. I am crouched below a fallen eagle of iron and bronze, the head alone is easily three times my height. The enemy are charging across no-mans land once more, fools it is at least two miles between the part of there lines they are attacking from and ours and we have an open field of fire but they are fools armed with heretical creed and weapons to back that creed. Fools they maybe for attacking so well defended a strong-point but I shall kill them none the less. I barely notice my finger depress the trigger on my bolter nor the eerily audible bloody pop of impacts as I and my brothers slaughter this rabble. Ha! these xenos orks why do they think they can win against the might of ten astartes? I shall carve a new strike in the flesh upon battles end. No wait..not orks, human heretics. 'We are the Hounds of Night! We strive for victory over the darkness! We carve the strikes on the flesh for the flesh is as the Emperors light and the darkness shall never take it' I hear the words of the War-Heart and roar my approval of his quoting of 'the Law of Flesh'. The flesh burns to be struck again, to be sated briefly with the tang of metal, to bring the briefest of pleasures, to.. I see you little thing, I see you..a creature not unlike a hound from which we gain our name has against all odds got past us! its body is loaded with explosives and it is heading straight for Karax Olas, the War-Heart but it will not get far. I aim my bolter at it and fire my shot is true and straight...I turn back to the battle at hand and it is as if time itself got bored of running normally for what seemed like an age and then I find myself thrown bodily into the eagles left wing. The impact brings pain, to much pain..wait why would this bring pain? why?...my bolt killed the hound? I think...not sure. Why is there so much pain? these are not the events I was part of. I am only a...what am I? why is there so much pai... My name is Tariaus Ingor, I am of the Hounds of Night Chapter of the Imperial Astartes and I am alone in the dark but my brothers will find me, they will find me... Should I continue? Edit - added a temporary title Edit 2 - altered the topic description Edit 3 - new title Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Leonaides Posted May 15, 2011 Share Posted May 15, 2011 The flesh burns to be striked again to be sated briefly with the tang of metal, to bring the briefest of pleasures, to.. Certainly should be 'struck' here, not striked, and I'd suggest adding another comma after again. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Yaj Posted May 15, 2011 Author Share Posted May 15, 2011 Thanks Should I continue? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Leonaides Posted May 15, 2011 Share Posted May 15, 2011 Its an interesting perspective - I almost get the feel that its a marine who's suffered massive damage and is reliving the events of his last/most recent battle flash-back stylee, a bit broken and jarred, not necessarily in sequence. Write more. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Yaj Posted May 15, 2011 Author Share Posted May 15, 2011 Thanks, the disjointed theme just developed as I typed and well I kinda liked it. I shall probably add more sometime tomorrow Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Yaj Posted May 16, 2011 Author Share Posted May 16, 2011 Right heres the next part. Still making it up as I go but I am starting to form theories as to how it will plan out. The voices are new, I think, I understand the words and yet they speak with foreign tongues. How is this possible? 'Tariaus Ingor' my name...yes my name! I remember now, I am Tariaus Ingor of the Hounds of Night. More words from the dark...I do not understand...'close to..' what? the next words are of a speech not my own. Why can they not speak plain? I scream into the dark over and over. 'I am Tariaus Ingor, Hound of Night! speak to me if you are real or if not then leave me alone, vile phantoms..I am Tariaus Ingor, Hound of Night...I am..' I am nine summers old playing at kirash along with my friends Nival and Hartha. The smile across my face is false for I am winning because they let me for if they fear what will happen if they don't. To put it simply they are not my friends by choice necessarily, rather they are here because there fathers wished for work from my father who is lord and master of the house of Ingor and now they live in the ramshackle village on the edge of what will one day be my lands. There purposefully bad play frustrates me. I am more than capable of wining with out them doing what they are doing! I am an Ingor for Emperors-sake, I am... 'Run the test again' who said that? show yourself. 'What did you say Nival?' I know the answer before he has even known his lips were moving, somehow I've always known. 'Good move, sire Ingor, had me beat for sure' I feel my fists curl, nails digging into the palm as I force myself to respond with the manner expected of high-born noblity and not attack Nival out of annoyance. 'We thank you for your kind words, Soon-Slave' I hear Hartha snort in laughter and I turn to face him. 'Why do you laugh? Soon-Slave Hartha' 'Because I find you funny, sire Ingor' he doesn't even try to hid the venom as he pronounces 'sire'. 'Why? what have we done to offend?' I can see the anger in his face and know he will strike if gi..ah I long to strike at the flesh, oh for my blade..ven even a small reason. 'We are letting you win, you idiot!' of course I know, I have been given the finest tutors my father can buy and given that we are of exceptional wealth means that my tutors are of exceptional standard, my father would expect nothing less. 'I know, now keep playing the game as you are doing' it irks me to have to play kirash like this but I know for fact that my father will be recording this, though I know not how. If I am seen to be lenient towards those who one day be 'slave' then I shall receive a beatin..pain flares hot in my head as Hartha looses his temper and sets about me with punches thrown in anger and haste. I narrowly avoid the next one causing him to over balance and he goes sprawling across the ground of the pitch. No wait not the pitch, the arena..I was playing kirash, yes I am certain..no, no the blow must have done something. I am in the arena facing my final test against Hartha only one of us can claim the prize of gene-seed and the chance to become a Hound of Night! we are opposite in every way I am lean, well muscled and with the advantage of the combat tutoring personally given to me by my father. Hartha on the other hand is a brute through and through, a street brawler used to using every thing he can to win even if it means fighting ugly. Well two can play at that game! he is charging at me once again, once again I pivot away from him and as he goes past lash out three-times in quick succession with my knife at his unprotected back. Spots of dark liquid begin to show on his grey tunic and for a moment I believe I have won, as he staggers towards the ground but then he recovers whilst I am still gripped with victory and lands a hard kick to my right side and now it is my turn to be injured as he slams his own knife under my ribs..I feel the metal pass through the lung and I know my life is measured in minutes. In shock I fall to the ground, my eyes plead for mercy but I know he will have none. All the training, the deaths of the others have led to this moment and only one can be champion. He kneels upon me causing the pain in my chest to double, my eyes grow heavy and for a moment I wish for death more than anything but only for a moment. 'Die, die!!' he raises his knife poised to strike...my hands desperately reaching for my own, dropped when I fell, the knife falls... And fate smiles upon me for it becomes caught in the mail beneath my blue tunic! if he had struck at my back then I would be dead for certain and Hartha not Taraius would have become a Hound of Night...for a moment he is distracted trying to free his blade, I grasp not at my knife but at the grey sand of the arena floor. With painful movements I throw it in his face causing him to real backwards screaming as the sand burns into his eyes...with a strangled cry I rip his knife out of its entrapment, with another pain filled move I reach over and pick up my own knife...finally he recovers long enough to yell profanties in direction and then he speaks no more as I skewer his brain with both knives..blood dripping on to the arena sand and for a moment the shock of defeat keeps his body up right before it crashes to the ground... I am victorious!!! dropping the knives, I know what must be done next I walk over to the arena wall and take a new knife from the medical-servitor who has arrived from beneath the ground only moments before. I remain standing for ten-minutes as the servitor temporarily heals my injuries for it would not do for the chapter to be denied fresh blood. The new knife is unsutable for fighting but is more than adequate for what I must do next... As I walk over to the corpse of Hartha I find myself laugh-wheezing in triumph, for with when this next task is finished I have the chance to become a Hound of Night! no, I will be a Hound of Night, I am...I am... I am Tariaus Ingor, I am of the Hounds of Night Chapter of the Imperial Astartes and I am alone in the dark but my brothers will find me, they will find me... --------------------------------------------------------------- comments? edit - I'm going to start work on an IA for the Hounds of Night but I need a new name for the 'Flesh-Smiths' after noticing it's use in the new nightlords novel. Any suggestions? A Flesh-Smith I've decided is a mixture of chaplain, apothacary and veteran sgt. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Yaj Posted May 16, 2011 Author Share Posted May 16, 2011 Ok, heres more... My name is Tariaus Ingor..have I said these words? to whom do I speak them to? I am alone, am I not...ah the voices are back, yes, yes I hear them but I don't understand them. I think I fear them...no not possible I fear nothing. A poor choice of word I feel, what do I feel?...hatred, yes not fear, hatred for those who cower in the dark were I can not see! hatred at them for lying beyond my reach, beyond certain death. I wish I could see there faces, to pierce the veil of... armour, I am on board a vessel of the chapter..'tell me your name'...Icon of His Will and it has been boarded. Myself and my brothers are scattered throughout the ship, a frigate one of the chapters many support vessels. Why are we here? a reason, what was the reason..lost...no wait, I remember we are seeking new flesh. This attack was not forseen how could we when the foe is so very alien, so very inhuman. Necrons, I spit on the name! of all the abominations the universe has to offer these are by far the worst for they have altered themselves fully from flesh to metal. It is a sin for any creature to alter its natural form. So we War-Hearts teach for did not the Emperor himself perfect us? who are we to tamper with genetic-perfection? and yet there exist races and yes even brother chapters who do so, who refuse to follow the natural order of things...the imperfect must die so that the perfect may live and the necrons are so very, very imperfect. I care only that they die and as my armoured boots tap rapidly along the deck I ready my bolt pistol and light up my sword. My squad behind me does the same with there lesser weapons..oh fear us metal things for we are your death! 'War-Heart Ingor! contact le..' Brother Jufa's words are cut short as the snake-like creature bisects him in two before he can even react. No more shall Jufa strike the flesh, one more crime that these things shall answer for! and so battle is joined. 'Soon-Slave Hartha..' no he is dead 'concentrate your fire!' I give the command as another of the foul creatures appears from the wall, literally the wall. I can fully see why they are termed 'wraiths' by lesser peoples. To my left Badiaz dies from a blow to the neck the wraiths claw tearing through the soft armour and severing his spinal cord but the creature has made a mistake. For before it can vanish once more I leap upon it, driving it to the ground and pin it in place with my power sword..it screams what I can only assume is curse. I end its wretched unnatural existance with a single shot from my bolt pistol. The blinding flash of muzzel flare in the enclosed corridor reveal the death of my squad and the six wraiths that killed them...no that is not what happened! we were victorious and drove the other invaders of the Icon of His Will!! did we not? how can this event be different to how I remember?.... 'You killed us all, Taraius Ingor' I have not killed my brothers, no this is a lie. 'Murderer' the voice is soft but with a hard rough edge as if the speaker is gravely ill... 'You are the death of us, you are...' Tariaus Ingor, of the Hounds of Night Chapter of the Imperial Astartes and you are alone in the dark but your brothers will find you, they will find you... ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Comments? are more than welcome. I've narrowed down where this story is going down to 5 possiblities. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Yaj Posted May 18, 2011 Author Share Posted May 18, 2011 Close to finishing this now, perhaps one or two more parts Hopefully it will now start to make sense. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ 'Your name is Tariaus Ingor, Hound of Night and you are a traitor' I..I no that is not true! why does the voice speak such lies? I them clearly now but still I do not know who or what they are for the darkness still enshrouds them as a cloak may shroud a man from the rain. 'Is he ready yet, Nival?' Nival? have I heard that name before? yes, yes! he was once a soon-slave to my fathers house. He can not be here though? he is dead killed in the poor district of Hourn, captial of Rejac. Was he not? so hard to remember... 'He will be ready when he is ready, Hartha' No eyes are needed to know that this Hartha, who I know to be dead, is sneering in contempt at either myself or this Nival. 'We must hurry! or our ambtions will never come to pass' Harthas voice is strained as if even breathing is a struggle. 'You know why we do this, Epistolary' He is pacing now I can hear his footsteps..oh if only he would step out of the darkness so that I may see who this xenos or heretic is. 'My visions..' he pauses perhaps gathering his thoughts but I can help but feel that he is looking directly at me 'My visions, may not even be true' 'We can not take that risk, the Flesh-Lord is a weak fool! If I had been made chapter master as was my right as Flesh-Prince of first company then...' he lets his words trail but now I know that these strangers in the dark are of my chapter and that they are plotting against the Flesh-Lord himself! 'I agree, once the fal..' I don't understand the next words for my mind at that moment becomes nothing but pure pain 'ories are planted we can then use him to bring down Flesh-Lord Minzar and you my rightful Liege-Lord shall be master of the chapter' I can not be certain but I would guess that this Nival is bowing or something. 'And I shall not forget your help in this matter' Hartha's footsteps echo once more and then begin to fade...'You shall be Lore-Keeper, Chief Librarian..' the rest of his words are swallowed up by the dark but I know that Nival is smili.... 'Your name is Tariaus Ingor, Hound of Night and you are a traitor...' ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Ok like I said perhaps 2 more parts at most until this is finished. Thoughts, comments etc are welcome thanks Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Yaj Posted May 19, 2011 Author Share Posted May 19, 2011 ok here's the final part... As always comments are welcome. ----------------------------------------------------------------------- 'My lord, Tariaus Ingor is here' It is like waking from a dream I hear the words, my name but I do not understand the meaning behind them. I look down at my hands and they are covered in blood...my own? anothers? I am heading towards to gigantic admantium doors. On the right is a fresco of war great champions of the enemies of man battle magnificent heroes of the chapter. On the left is a single massive engraving of the Primarch surrounded by cherubs, I find myself grinning at how garish the portrait of the great warrior is and wondering if he would smash it asunder if he were alive...I would do so gladly if not for the grave insult to his honour. The doors open with perfect silence and I step through the great shadow of the archway beyond.. 'My friend! where have you been?' I have no answer for him so I simply stand blood dripping on to the stone floor. 'Your hands! have you been injured?' I glance down at my hands and pain flashes through my mind...no that is not true! I did not kill them, we saved the Icon of His Will. These memories are false. I look up and find the warrior who has spoken staring at me in horror. 'You killed them?' I do not recall speaking and yet he staggers backwards seemingly reeling in shock at this relevalation. I go to reach for him but find hands not to be open in friendship but holding my bolt pistol. I have no recollection of taking from it's holster at my hip. 'So now you have come to kill me, traitor' I am no traitor! and yet I can not lower my weapon...'end him, he is weak' no I will not! but it is to late..I have fired and time skips as if the bolt passes through bubbles where time slows and then to my relief and anger the bolt impacts not in the heart of the warrior infront of me but the grand beautifully carved throne to his left. Then all hell arrives.... Three warriors storm through the doors I came through only minutes before. One is armoured in dark blue, save for the left shoulder which is coloured a lighter blue trimed with black. The other two wear power-armour the colour of night trimmed with light blue, one is armed with a boltgun covered in intricate gravings picked out in red upon its silver surfaces and the other has a chainsword in one hand and a sword of a black metal glowing blue with the energies coursing through it. The dark-blue warrior does not carry a single weapon and yet it is he who I dread facing against for I know he will beat me. 'What has happened, my lord?' this comes from the warrior with the strange sword. I did not notice before as my view was obscured by the one armed with the relic boltgun but this warrior has across his right pauldron a piece of orkhide covered in dozens of perfectly straight cuts..who is?...aaargh I roar once more in pain but this time I do not give into it...who is?..I feel blood running free from my nose, my eyes...who is he?...I feel my bodies defenses kick in seeking to put me in a comatose state the damage to my brain is becoming to sever..who is he?...I force them down but know that they won't lie still for long...who is he?...aaargh...Har..Har..my mouth fills with the rich iron taste of astartes blood, my blood and then the pain ceases and I have my answer. I raise my bolt pistol...and fire.... ------------------------------------------------------------ Ok that's it! my plan is to write another 3 new stories to this but they will be the accounts of Hartha, Nival and the mysterious third warrior (the one with the relic boltgun). Hope you've enjoyed reading it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Leonaides Posted May 19, 2011 Share Posted May 19, 2011 Going to interlink all 4 stories? Could get tricky, but could go very well. I'l be looking out for more. Hopefully others will too. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Yaj Posted May 19, 2011 Author Share Posted May 19, 2011 That's the plan. It's probably doomed already. I'm already working on the first of the three stories but I doubt I'll post anything till Sunday. Thanks. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Taranis Posted May 20, 2011 Share Posted May 20, 2011 I like this very much. A very intense story. Am looking forward to the other stories. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Yaj Posted May 20, 2011 Author Share Posted May 20, 2011 Thanks. Will post the first part of 'Memories of War - Part 2' sometime either Sunday evening or Monday morning time permitting. Additionally having thought about it I'll shall not be doing an IA for the Hounds of Night. I feel I can explain the chapter better through the stories than in an Index Astartes article Side note - Hounds of Night or Night Hounds? which sounds better? Also still looking for a name to replace 'flesh-smith' (chaplain/sgt/apothacary) I'll probably think of something but suggestions are welcome. Edit - thought of one. 'War-Heart' shall replace 'Flesh-Smith' Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.