Bahltimyr Reavers - Redux

[Aqui]

This is where the (final) draft is to be posted.

 

Origins

 

Official Imperial records state that the Chapter known as the Bahltimyr Rayvens were one of many Chapters created during the Cursed 21st Founding. Many regarded that using Gene-Seed taken from the Raven Guard was an unwise move, but the "improvements" made to it seemed to make it viable again. An unofficial source stated that the Chapter Master of the Raven Guard was horrified by the decision, and stated simply that "No good would become of it", and that the Raven Guard would have nothing to do with it's sibling Chapter under any circumstances, despite the seeming stability of the modifications.

 

The go ahead was never the less given and the Bahltimyr Rayvens were born.

 

The first action undertaken by the Rayvens was that of destroying an Ork Waagh! on Bohkmor. Whilst successful, it was a long drawn out campaign, resulting in significant losses. The Ravens went home to Bahltimyr to restock and recruit, which due to the small population, took longer than hoped. This took it's toll on the mindset of many Marines in the Chapter, who were desperate to prove themselves worthy and redeem themselves in the eyes of their Parent Chapter.

 

Their next action took them to another world - Tolibur, and it here that they were more successful. Using stealth tactics similar to the Raven Guard, they ripped the heart out of a fledgling Chaos incursion, with a determined edge that many survivors reported as "Brutal, almost revelling in the carnage they wreaked." This reason for this new doctrine is not known, but other Chapters who had at some point campaigned with them noted that the "Rayvens were terse in speech, reluctant to accept rearguard or defensive functions, and only seemed truly themselves on frontal or stealth attacks" Whilst scholars conclude that this attitude could be due to nothing more than the Chapters need to prove themselves, to be seen as the best at what they do amongst their peers, others have darkly said in whispers that the beginnings of the Bahltimyr Reavers started here....

 

The Rayvens were eventually deployed to reinforce the Chapter known as the Steel Wings in Segmentum Pacificus, due to the increased amount of Chaos incursions on a group of Planets near the Steel Wings' home world. They were requested to support them on a Planet known as Ghiberti. The Steel Wings had already arrived at the planet with the rest of the Chapter in transit and with this in mind had petitioned the Rayvens to act in a supporting role, lest the advantage their had bought would be lost. With the honour of the Chapter smarting, the Chapter Master Rai Lurweiss told his opposite number that this would not happen and ordered a smaller action of their own. Both sides took significant casualties due to this and diplomatic relations escalated, both Chapters effectively ignoring each other from then on.

 

On the eightieth day of the campaign, the Steel Wings had after defeating a Daemon unleashed within the Capital, decided that the situation was untenable, calling a general withdrawal order and Exterminatus. Because the Rayvens were not actively monitoring the vox bands that the Steel Wings were using, it was not realised that they were going to submit the planet to orbital bombardment until it was too late. The Rayvens were forced to take shelter as best they could, the area they were in control of was near a previously inactive Volcano. The orbital charges set off seismic fractures in the ground that swallowed the main force whole, whilst the subsequent molten lava sealed up any trace after. To subsequent search parties, they had simply vanished.

 

Their fleet was destroyed in orbit save their Flagship The Pride of Em'tebank which was heavily damaged, when it tried to stop the Steel Wings from bombarding the planet. According to an official report submitted to the High Lords of Terra, the Bahltimyr Rayvens were a dangerous element in the campaign and actions was taken. This, and other reports were never acted upon, their contents consigned to history.

 

Recent History

 

The Bahltimyr Reavers have been seen in various locales in the Imperium, and have become a significant threat for many centuries. Most recently, they have been in Segmentum Pacificus, attacking Imperial Worlds for slaves, recruits and most importantly to re-arm. Despite their best efforts, Imperial scholars can have not worked out any specific pattern to their movements. On more than one occassion, they have withdrawn from a battle when they had the advantage and the ability to deal a crippling blow to their foe. On other occassions they have fought long and hard, seemingly for no gain whatsoever. Their erratic behaviour has been attributed to their maddened state, although it has been the opinion of a few that the Reavers are looking for specific artifacts, and that when they have found them all, woe be tide any who cross their path.

 

The ‘Reavers are in fact following the will of the Pantheon, causing unrest, recovering artefacts and other more unknown purposes. Their Leader Lord Rai Lurweiss has an ulterior motive – to be free of the agreement with the Dark Gods and searches the Galaxy for something worthy to trade.

 

It is only a matter of time until their paths cross again with the Steel Wings and finally encounter the Raven Guard.

 

Encounter at Syndar

 

An Imperial force consisting of Imperial Guard, a small contingent of Sisters from the Order of the Valorous Heart and three Companies of Marines from the Amber Dragons Chapter encountered a Warband that matched the Bahltimyr Reavers on a Shrine World called Syndar. Having insinuated themselves with the Citadel at its capital, the Warband had decimated the planets PDF and were caught trying to [records deleted by the Holy Inquisition]. The Warband had escaped, albeit with heavy casualties.

 

The Warbands current whereabouts are unknown.

 

Beliefs

 

The Warband are reluctant followers of the Chaos Pantheon. Those few who have survived an encounter with them believe that they are completely dedicated to their Dark Gods, but this is not so. The Leader of the Warband Lord Rai Lurweiss had made a pact with the Gods to ensure their survival, but the fickle nature of those Gods resulted in many within the group being mutated beyond measure.  These hulking monstrosities are collectively known as the Changed.  In exchange for services rendered, the Pantheon agree to spare the Warband any more additions of those creatures to their ranks. Failure to succeed in their tasks and more Marines are changed.

 

Every member of the Warband are fearful of the Gods because of this and will do their utmost in battle to ensure they are left alone, although there was those who dare court their favour. Lurweiss is bent on finding something to use as a bargaining chip to be finally free of this “agreement”. So far he has found no such thing.

 

Gene-seed

 

As a Chapter of the Cursed Founding, the stability of their Gene-seed, was initial without doubt. However, due to their wholesale worship of Chaos Undivided and their subsequent agreement, it is evident that whatever improvements were made, they are being undone. Scholars are unsure as to what extent their Gene-seed has been corrupted. Encounters with horrifying creatures, both in regular Armour and in Tactical Dreadnought Armour have been reported. Specific details have either been suppressed or lost in transmission.

 

Organisation and tactics

 

Whilst loyal to the Imperium, The Bahltimyr Rayvens followed the Tenets of the Index Astartes and the teachings of their Primarch - that of stealth. Now as traitors to the Imperium of Man, they still use that same disciplined approach to battle, but are more renowned for striking terror into the hearts of their enemies, the sight of the Changed instilling fear in anyone unfortunate to see them.

 

Battle Cry

 

On the open battlefield it is rare for them to have a unified battle cry, although mockingly they have used "Victorus aut Mortis". On covert operations for obvious reasons, they employ silence at all times.

 

 

 

To be placed in side bars:

 

 

Chapter Master Rai Lurweiss had spent days in prayer to Him on Earth, his pleas more and more desperate.  The remnants of the Chapter were trapped, buried under hundreds of feet of cooling Lava.  The ground had literally swallowed them whole.  Many Marines had died instantly when the ground shook with the impact of the payload thrown down by their so called allies, the Steel Wings.  Others far more slowly, as their crushed forms were slowly covered by magma, their screams ringing in his ears still.  After the events that followed, the survivors considered them to have gotten off lightly.  Many had taken to keeping their own company, the sullen becoming openly hostile if their blackened mood was disturbed.  Others had...changed.  Their flesh was, as Sons of Corvus Corax ,pale, their eyes like orbs of obsidian.  Whilst that was still true, there was an unhealthy pallor  to their cheeks.  They complained of aches that even their metabolisms couldn't subdue, and a hunger that could not be slaked.  They formed groups, watching the others with an interest that unnerved even Lurweiss himself.  Those who watched had taken to daub their armour with blood, their own at first.  Lurweiss beseeched the Emperor for deliverance and was rewarded with nothing.  No redemption, no salvation.  Days turned to weeks and combat discipline was eroded slowly as those who had changed could no longer slake the hunger that gnawed at their being.  The Chapter turned in on themselves, as one half finally gave in to their instincts, whilst the other, horrified and deeply saddened by what they witnessed tried to contain them and to put an end to their depravity.

 

In desperation, Rai Luweiss' prayers were ever more fervent, and his entreaties went to anyone who would listen.  The fate of the Bahltimyr Rayvens was sealed, when something did.

 

The price asked for their freedom was far greater than they had bargained for.

Edited April 18, 2014 by Aquilanus

[Aqui]

Yes, I know I could have resurrected the old thread, but after reading through it, I felt that it’s best to leave that way in the murky past (December ’10) and start afresh.....

 

Having been following the Baltimore Ravens on their way to the Super Bowl, I decided to try again with the ‘Reavers, as I think I have found a way of plausibly turning them to Chaos.

A few ideas for reference, which I can post into post one and hopefully get them finished (finally!)

 

Bahltimyr Rayvens – Bahltimyr Reavers

 

Raven Guard successor (I had wanted to avoid this, as one of the inspirations for the Baltimore Ravens name is similar to the Raven Guard – the Poem by Poe, and I didn’t want to completely rip it off)

 

Unlike my last attempt, they will not have any direct encounters with the Steel Wings, as I feel it would take far too much time to successfully blend the two backgrounds together, although I may have them square up against each other in the Librarium's short stories section ;)

 

Rayvens/Reavers are part of the Cursed Founding, having their Gene-seed experimented on even more than Corax had done. The fiddling seemed to have worked, resulting in a seemingly stable Gene-seed once more. The Raven Guard, having found out want nothing to do with them, feeling that Corax himself had done enough and will not defy their Primarch’s Edict Nevermore

 

Rayvens start off with solid, if routine campaigns to rid a various worlds of Orks etc. Having proved their worth, they travel back to their homeworld, only to have a Gellar field malfunction (maintenance issue or sabotage by an unknown enemy – I haven’t decided yet)

 

Exposure to the warp results in a few Marines going bonkers, so the ship drops out of Warp to take stock of the situation. However, the madness on board spreads and the few remaining who are unaffected are sacrificed to dark powers.

 

Rayvens drop out of History for some time, with official records stating that the Ship and the Chapter are lost to the Warp.

 

Raiding parties by Traitors in similar colours and livery reported in various areas (Segmentum to be decided)

 

Add details about some of the influential Characters etc.

 

Edit: TYPOOOOOOOOOOOOOOS! Grrrrr!

Edited January 21, 2012 by Aquilanus

[Destecado]

Warp Storms and Geller field malfunctions...Why not instead have these chaos space marines arise from the hubris of their Primarch...the chapter's dirty little secret. (see IA excerpt below)

 

The Raven Guard were all but annihilated in the Drop Site Massacre during the Horus Heresy, the battle of Isstvan V reducing the legion's strength from some 80,000 astartes to less than 3,0001. It is rumoured that Corax used cloning technology to replenish the Chapter's numbers. Many of these clones resulted in degenerated and inhuman creatures. Being so depleted in strength the Legion was forced to put these monsters into combat, where they proved brutally efficient. There is one documented incident where a Raven Guard force appeared herding huge bestial creatures ahead of it to defeat the defenders of an Iron Warriors held fortress.

 

It defenitely has a Frankenstein's Monster / Island of Doctor Moreau quality to it. You could potentially have the members of this war band being hunted by Fabius Bile. He wants to get his hands on them to see how Corax created them. Bile may even voice grudging respect for Corax..."one artist to another". He does not view them as monstrosities or twisted mistakes, but masterpieces...inspiration for his own work. Since he can not study at the feet of the master (Corax), he wants to study his works to expand his own skill and "artistic vision".

 

They need not jump willingly into the embrace of chaos. Their journey to corruption could be long and more complicated.

 

BTW GO PATS!

Edited January 21, 2012 by Destecado

[Aqui]

Thanks for the comments ^_^ There are quite a few things to think about before I get the "final" version started. I'll have a think about it, whilst having something to eat as I've forgotten to eat anything today (again) :tu:

 

BTW GO PATS!

 

:lol:

[Aqui]

having re-read your post Destecado, I think I should have explained that exposure to the warp undid the "repairs" to their Geneseed, effectively reverting them back to how they would/could have been - and then some. The Reavers will be aligned Chaos Undivided as before, welcoming the "gifts" that all four Gods may possibly give.

[Aqui]

Whilst I have a lot more to add, I think I'm heading in the right direction for once.

 

More to follow when I have more time to myself.

 

Opinions? :D

[Captain Juan Juarez]

Opinions? ;)

 

In my opinion a device that can beam the text from a monitor into my brain, without need to tire my eyes further, would be extremely useful.

[Aqui]

Opinions? :tu:

 

In my opinion a device that can beam the text from a monitor into my brain, without need to tire my eyes further, would be extremely useful.

 

Whilst I thought that funny (and after a day like I've had, I needed a laugh), and I agree a machine that can send text directly into the brain would be useful, I meant did have any opinions on what I've done so far......

[Conn Eremon]

Seems a tad too bare for me to give my opinion right off. Some of what I think is good, or a tad off, might just turn out differently once expanded upon. Only thing that struck me that I feel I should bring up is just that . . . Only one ship? Far as I know, Battle-barges, the biggest ships in the Marine navies, can only carry three companies, tops. Would that be the entire Chapter at that point, three companies? If so, how did they get knocked down to so low? If not, then how did one ship's loss cause the entire Chapter to go renegade? Or is it just those Marines who were on that ship, and the rest of the Chapter moved on? If so, there'd be some interesting dynamics between the two forces.

 

Other than that, I had wanted the Ravens to get to the Bowl this year. I have no real interest in football, but when it gets to the post-season games I watch them and pick a favorite. Picked Cowboys as always, but they failed me once again. Hoped Ravens would get there as a replacement just so I could root for the Raven Guard. But they failed me, too.

[Captain Juan Juarez]

Opinions? :lol:

 

In my opinion a device that can beam the text from a monitor into my brain, without need to tire my eyes further, would be extremely useful.

 

Whilst I thought that funny (and after a day like I've had, I needed a laugh), and I agree a machine that can send text directly into the brain would be useful, I meant did have any opinions on what I've done so far......

 

I can't help it, I think I'm funny.. But this was equally a reminded to read without tired eyes.

 

For the sake of awkwardness, I'm going to go backwards and start with another funny.

 

Battlecry: "Blue 52!"

 

Organisation and Tactics: I assume this will be expanded? But for what you have here I'd suggest rewording it slightly, something along the lines of "Having had centuries of experience in the art of stealth warfare, the Reavers have since added a darker string to their bow.." that kind of thing, tying in the - what appears to be - Night Lords edge you have going in terms of operations.

 

Beliefs: "Ansgar" is the name of an Emperor's Champion in the Armageddon Omnibus, as I recall. It doesn't matter, but having just read the first part of the Omnibus it made me chuckle.

 

I don't see how they can perform the role of a Chaplain, as Traitors tend not to have a spiritual well-being to tend to?

 

Why do they have the Raven Guard? Beyond the Raven Guard being the Primogenitor and Loyalist, I mean.

 

Recent History: I suggest putting this lower down in the pecking order.

 

Origins: I think you could call them Reavers from the start, to be honest, as you can use clever word play to give a reason to still use the name after turning.

 

Oddly, and it's nothing more than another reason to chuckle, most people choose Orks for initial conflicts it seems!

 

Ending on "Or so it seems." feels a bit weak, when you launch into Recent History and in fact, going against my earlier advice for that section, I'd advise adding a new section or changing Recent History to detail about the Reavers as they are now.

 

That's all I've got, but that's mainly because I'm tired and feel like crap. Apologies if it makes no sense, yada yada yada.

[Aqui]

Seems a tad too bare for me to give my opinion right off. Some of what I think is good, or a tad off, might just turn out differently once expanded upon. Only thing that struck me that I feel I should bring up is just that . . . Only one ship? Far as I know, Battle-barges, the biggest ships in the Marine navies, can only carry three companies, tops. Would that be the entire Chapter at that point, three companies? If so, how did they get knocked down to so low? If not, then how did one ship's loss cause the entire Chapter to go renegade? Or is it just those Marines who were on that ship, and the rest of the Chapter moved on? If so, there'd be some interesting dynamics between the two forces.

 

Other than that, I had wanted the Ravens to get to the Bowl this year. I have no real interest in football, but when it gets to the post-season games I watch them and pick a favorite. Picked Cowboys as always, but they failed me once again. Hoped Ravens would get there as a replacement just so I could root for the Raven Guard. But they failed me, too.

 

It is rather bare at the moment. I'd have added more, but I've had so much to do at work that I've just not been inclined or able to do any more recently :(

 

Regarding the single ship issue, I had forgotten even a large ship will only take a portion of the Chapter. I suppose that I have two options:

 

1 Have the entire Chapter in ships at least one of which malfunctions (or is sabotaged). I'd have to come up with a plausible ay of explaining how that would happen.

 

2 Have a portion of the Chapter take the initial blow, and then spread the rot to the others. I was trying to work in that there is a two "tier" system in the Reavers - those who have completely devolved in to horrific nightmares, and those who despite succumbing to Chaos are in relative terms still able to reason, and are generally the commanding Cadre. Kinda like the Thousand Sons - Those who are nothing but empty armour and those who managed to survive Ahriman's tinkering.

 

The other idea you had - that of a schism is a very interesting idea and one that I did consider, but I'd need to think about the whole situation. Do I allow both to survive and have one hunt the other like the Dark Angels and the Fallen? Or do I have both hunted by the Imperium, one because they fell to Chaos, and the other because the IoM's Ultra paranoia about it possibly happening again and their typical way of dealing with it....

 

Food for thought in any case :D

 

As for the Ravens, the Reavers erstwhile inspiration, well, I won't comment too much about the performaceas I had to listen to it on the Radio as I can't afford SKY tv and the less I think about it the better. However, as strange as it sounds I'll be kinda routing for the Pat's as they are a good team despite handing the Ravens arses to them :)

 

Thank you for commenting ^_^

[Aqui]

Battlecry: "Blue 52!"

 

:)

 

Organisation and Tactics: I assume this will be expanded? But for what you have here I'd suggest rewording it slightly, something along the lines of "Having had centuries of experience in the art of stealth warfare, the Reavers have since added a darker string to their bow.." that kind of thing, tying in the - what appears to be - Night Lords edge you have going in terms of operations.

 

Everything is going to be expanded fully. I decided to at least start another attempt at getting this done whilst I had it on my mind. It doesn't always work but I find that sometimes you just have to put everything down as it occurs to you, otherwise you'll forget it.

 

I did have a Night Lords- esque feel in mind for them, but I don't want to produce a carbon copy of them. In my own opinion the NL are the best at what they do, and in some respects the way they wield terror as a weapon is nothing less than a form of art. I wanted the Reavers to be effective at using terror, but whereas the NL use terror like a rapier, the Reavers use it like a sledgehammer. I do like the sentence you included in this quote. I may steal draw inspiration from that ^_^

 

Beliefs: "Ansgar" is the name of an Emperor's Champion in the Armageddon Omnibus, as I recall. It doesn't matter, but having just read the first part of the Omnibus it made me chuckle.

 

I don't see how they can perform the role of a Chaplain, as Traitors tend not to have a spiritual well-being to tend to?

 

I haven't read that book, as I'd googled Apostle to look for alternative words. That was one that turned up. I wanted to have Chaplains in my Traitor band (gotta love Chaplains! ^_^ ), but wanted to twist them, but not be a rip off the Dark Apostles. I may re think this idea.

 

Why do they have the Raven Guard? Beyond the Raven Guard being the Primogenitor and Loyalist, I mean.

 

I had intended their hatred of the RG to come from the fact that they stated that they refuse to accept them or recognise them as their descendants. Every attempt I had come up with made them sound like spoilt petulant kids. Another thing I wanted to include that it wasn't just the RG that they hated, it was the mess that both Corax and the IoM's Cursed Founding did to their Gene-seed. Another thing to ponder about ^_^

 

Recent History: I suggest putting this lower down in the pecking order.

 

Noted.

 

Origins: I think you could call them Reavers from the start, to be honest, as you can use clever word play to give a reason to still use the name after turning.

 

I wasn't sure how to do this. And one of the reasons I wanted them to change their name to Reavers, is in no small part to the Reavers in the TV series Firefly (Film Serenity). Not sure if you've seen it, but if you haven't - basically the Reavers are a group of people who were on a planet where the ruling Government decided to pacify by using a chemical added to the atmosphere. For most of the population, it reduced the aggression levels to nothing and they let themselves die. A very small percentage went the other way. It drove them so far insane that they can barely be called "human" now. It ran parallel with what the Cursed Founding. An attempt to improve on Gene-seed that blow up in the faces of the people that meddled with things that shouldn't.

 

Oddly, and it's nothing more than another reason to chuckle, most people choose Orks for initial conflicts it seems!

 

I noticed that too :D However, I reasoned that out of all the Menaces to face the Imperium, the Orks were/are the most common, and that it seemed a little more likely that they would face them first.

 

Ending on "Or so it seems." feels a bit weak, when you launch into Recent History and in fact, going against my earlier advice for that section, I'd advise adding a new section or changing Recent History to detail about the Reavers as they are now.

 

That last bit was pants , but it acts as a marker for something better when I come up with it. A section explaining the Reavers as they are now would be better as you said.

 

That's all I've got, but that's mainly because I'm tired and feel like crap. Apologies if it makes no sense, yada yada yada.

 

Don't apologise! It makes a lot of sense, and whilst I haven't any spare time to think and draw anything up at the moment (tomorrow begins a seven day stretch at work....roll on next Friday :( ), I have a lot to think about and a lot of ideas to hopefully expand upon. I can't ask for any more than that! ^_^

 

Thanks! ^_^

[Captain Juan Juarez]

Origins: I think you could call them Reavers from the start, to be honest, as you can use clever word play to give a reason to still use the name after turning.

 

I wasn't sure how to do this. And one of the reasons I wanted them to change their name to Reavers, is in no small part to the Reavers in the TV series Firefly (Film Serenity). Not sure if you've seen it, but if you haven't - basically the Reavers are a group of people who were on a planet where the ruling Government decided to pacify by using a chemical added to the atmosphere. For most of the population, it reduced the aggression levels to nothing and they let themselves die. A very small percentage went the other way. It drove them so far insane that they can barely be called "human" now. It ran parallel with what the Cursed Founding. An attempt to improve on Gene-seed that blow up in the faces of the people that meddled with things that shouldn't.

 

 

I'm a Nerd on the Internet, of course I <3 Firefly!

[Aqui]

Origins: I think you could call them Reavers from the start, to be honest, as you can use clever word play to give a reason to still use the name after turning.

 

I wasn't sure how to do this. And one of the reasons I wanted them to change their name to Reavers, is in no small part to the Reavers in the TV series Firefly (Film Serenity). Not sure if you've seen it, but if you haven't - basically the Reavers are a group of people who were on a planet where the ruling Government decided to pacify by using a chemical added to the atmosphere. For most of the population, it reduced the aggression levels to nothing and they let themselves die. A very small percentage went the other way. It drove them so far insane that they can barely be called "human" now. It ran parallel with what the Cursed Founding. An attempt to improve on Gene-seed that blow up in the faces of the people that meddled with things that shouldn't.

 

 

I'm a Nerd on the Internet, of course I <3 Firefly!

 

Shiny! ;)

[Aqui]

I've had a bit of an epiphany regarding both the Steel Wings and the Bahltimyr Reavers. Right fromm the time I created the 'Reavers, I wanted them to be the 'Wings' arch enemies and whilst the last time attempts were on the right track, there wasn't enough in the fluff of both to convincingly meld the back story together. hopefully, I've finally cracked it :tu:

 

C+C as ever is welcome ;)

[Aqui]

Having gotten around to think about the 'Reavers (mainly in terms of two stories I'm doing and for the Liber campaign), below are cliff notes about what the they are about:

 

The Warband/Chapter after the betrayal split into two types of Marine - a "Typical" Chaos Marine and one that is essentially a Mindless, Warped creature. Think of a cross between a Rubric Marine and a Wulfen/Death Company Marine who's mind and body went over the edge. A savage creature that does not think, beyond bloodshed and feeding.

 

The split occurred when the Rayvens were trapped under ground after the bombardment of Ghiberti. When their prayers to the Emperor were ignored, Chapter master Lurweiss and others started getting visions of the Dark Gods, whispering to them about the power they could gain if they would only worship them instead. Eventually, they succumb, but it was a serious mistake. Many of the Marines (collectively known as the Changed) were less strong of mind and mutated, their bodies and minds warped by the power of Chaos. They became stronger in body, but were monstrous, forever hungering for war and flesh. Those unaffected were horrified by this, but were nevertheless able to corral these former Marines into units controlled by former Chaplains now referred to as Ansgars. The Chaos Gods now see the 'Reavers in their "debt" for giving them the Changed. The Gods view is that they honoured their part of the bargain, now the 'Reavers have to honour their and do exactly as they command, or suffer gaining more Changed Marines.

 

Over time, more and more Marines succumbed and became Changed Marines, mainly when they failed to complete a task given to them by the gods. It is a punishment meted out, and something that Lurwiess intends to remedy. To do this, he leads the Warband on a quest to find certain artefacts that when offered to the Gods would settle the "debt" owed and allow them to regain their "freedom". This isn't an easy task, as many of the items are little known myths. Others are on certain worlds that are difficult, if not down right impossible to attack without taking heavy casualties, or the risk of being destroyed outright.

Ansgar Hr'Boor, his second in command has doubts on the direction the Warband has taken, but Lurweiss knows that without him, the Changed would be impossible to control. For now, he tolerates his insubordination, but there will come a time where his services are no longer required.

 

Anyway, Ten things about a typical Marine of the Warband:

 

Feels intense betrayal, both from the Steel Wings and the Raven Guard

Will not be deterred from getting revenge - at any cost

Ruthless to the extreme

Hates the Raven Guard (their Progenitor - the RG refused to acknowledge them as their successor)

Will do what it takes to accomplish his goal

Has no love for other Traitors - Looks down on them as amateurs, but is not above using them to suit his own ends

Fears the "Changed" - for they may still yet become one, a fate worse than death

Delights in causing havoc whereever they go

Loathes what they have become, but are still thankful that they are not one of the Changed.

Uses Chaos as a means to an end.

 

Lurweiss and Hr'Boor.

 

Hr'Boor had doubts about joining Chaos, (although he had no love for the Imperium either), even hundreds of years on, but knows he can not go back. His fate is sealed, but hates Lurweiss for what he has gotten them into. Lurweiss hasn't told Hr'Boor all of his intentions, mainly because Hr'Boor might try to stop him. Their antagonistic relationship is what drives the Warband on - Lurweiss wanting to be free of the Gods' influence, and Hr'boor wanting the opposite - that the Warband's bad luck and increasing amounts of Changed Marine is due to Lurweiss' persistence of resisting them.

 

Comments etc welcome ^_^

[Aqui]

Have edited the first post, added some stuff I've been writing about in various stories and tied up a few things.

 

Still need to add some stuff, but I'm pleased with where things are going :P

[Messor]

Looks good. I'm not that into football, so I can't recognize all of your references except for the Ravens, of course, and Ray Lewis. That aside, I love chapters with specific, usually organization based themes. Sports teams are a prime way to go, and their story so far is really entertaining. It also helps that they have Firefly influence. :lol: Keep it coming!

[Aqui]

Looks good. I'm not that into football, so I can't recognize all of your references except for the Ravens, of course, and Ray Lewis. That aside, I love chapters with specific, usually organization based themes. Sports teams are a prime way to go, and their story so far is really entertaining. It also helps that they have Firefly influence. ;) Keep it coming!

 

Thanks ;)

 

In their original fluff they had wiped out the following Loyalist Chapters:

 

Saints of Caprica (St Louis Rams)

Neo-Alba Patriarchs (New England Patriots)

Bolters of Endenapolos (Indianapolis Colts)

 

But I thought that was a little too corny :lol:

 

Hr'Boor - John Harbaugh (Head Coach)

 

Characters who will be modelled (eventually) and are in Valorous Heart, Dauntless Spirit a story where they are against two other DIY's I'm working on ^_^

 

Flah Kuo - Joe Flacco, QuarterBack

 

B’kun Diff - Billy Cundiff, Kicker (who meets a grizzly end in the story I'm doing ;) )

 

The firefly reference is semi intentional :(

 

You should see some of the names I have for my other stuff - far more...obvious :(

Edited September 10, 2012 by Aquilanus

[Messor]

Hahaha, epic! Its okay, the dripping references just add to the fun most of the time XD. Heck, I wouldn't even call it corny except for just how powerful an entire chapter is. Be sure to link us the story when you're done, eh?

[Aqui]

Hahaha, epic! Its okay, the dripping references just add to the fun most of the time XD. Heck, I wouldn't even call it corny except for just how powerful an entire chapter is. Be sure to link us the story when you're done, eh?

 

Rayvens feather, Reaver's dagger - The origin of the Reavers (incomplete)

 

A Valorous Heart, a Dauntless Spirit - The Reavers against The Valorous Heart Sisters Order, before they formed a smaller sub Order (my DIY Dauntless Spirit Order) (Incomplete)

 

I do like to have all my DIY's interacting, although it can get confusing keeping track of what's happening :lol:

 

^_^

[Messor]

I'm the same way, its half the fun :)

[Aqui]

After a long absence, the 'Reavers are back.  Have taken the BBCode out for now, and have added, subtracted some things.  I know that I have a fair amount to add, but I'll have a better look at it soon.

 

C+C welcome as usual ^_^

[Messor]

Origins

 

Official Imperial records state that the Chapter known as the Bahltimyr Rayvens was one of many Chapters created during the Cursed 21st Founding. Many regarded the use of Raven Guard gene-seed as an unwise move, but the "improvements"(are these improvements results of 21st experimentation?) made to it seemed to make it viable again. An unofficial source stated that the Chapter Master of the Raven Guard was horrified(maybe appalled? Horrified doesn't sound like an Astartes) by the decision, and stated simply that "No good would come of it", and that the Raven Guard would have nothing to do with it's sibling(successor might be better) Chapter under any circumstances, despite the seeming stability of the modifications.

 

Nevertheless, the go ahead was given and the Bahltimyr Rayvens were born.

 

The first action undertaken by the Rayvens was that of destroying an Ork Waagh! on Bohkmor. Whilst successful, it was a long drawn out campaign, resulting in significant losses. The Rayvens went home to Bahltimyr to restock and recruit, which due to the small population, took longer than hoped. This took it's toll on the mindset of many Marines in the Chapter, who were desperate to prove themselves worthy and redeem themselves in the eyes of their Parent Chapter.(We would benefit from more detail on this changing mindset. Were they just restless, or did they become volatile? Did they begin to wear at the patience of their homeworld?)

 

Their next action took them to another world - Tolibur, and it here that they were more successful. Using stealth tactics similar to the Raven Guard, they ripped the heart out of a fledgling Chaos incursion, with a determined edge that many survivors reported as "Brutal, almost revelling in the carnage they wreaked." The reason for this new doctrine(we haven't really been exposed to any other doctrine to notice a change) is not known, but other Chapters who had at some point campaigned with them noted that the "Rayvens were terse in speech, reluctant to accept rearguard or defensive functions, and only seemed truly themselves on frontal or stealth attacks" (You hint at other campaigns here during which they develop, but we don't get to hear about them, or really see the develeopment)Whilst scholars conclude that this attitude could be due to nothing more than the Chapters need to prove themselves, to be seen as the best at what they do amongst their peers, others have darkly said in whispers that the beginnings of the Bahltimyr Reavers started here....(Might stand for some rewording)

 

The Rayvens were eventually deployed to reinforce the Chapter known as the Steel Wings in Segmentum Pacificus, due to the increased amount of Chaos incursions on a group of planets near the Steel Wings' home world. They were requested to support the Steel Wings on a planet known as Ghiberti. The Steel Wings had already arrived at the planet with the rest of the Chapter in transit(SW arrived w/ rest of which Chapter in transit?) and with this in mind had petitioned the Rayvens to act in a supporting role, lest the advantage they had bought would be lost. With the honour of the Chapter smarting, the Chapter Master Rai Lurweiss(why all the italicized names? Normally, just ships get italicized, and even that's not always standard) told his opposite number that this would not happen and ordered a smaller action of their own. Both sides took significant casualties due to this and diplomatic relations escalated(diplomatic relations deteriorated, or diplomatic tensions escalated), both Chapters effectively ignoring each other from then on.

 

On the eightieth day of the campaign, the Steel Wings had, after defeating a Daemon unleashed within the Capital, decided that the situation was untenable, calling a general withdrawal order and Exterminatus(again, italics probably not needed). Because the Rayvens were not actively monitoring the vox bands that the Steel Wings were using, it was not realised that they were going to submit the planet to orbital bombardment until it was too late.(I feel like you might need a reason why the Steel Wings didn't say anything directly to the Rayvens...unless they just didn't care about screwing them over.) The Rayvens were forced to take shelter as best they could, the area they were in control of was near a previously inactive Volcano. The orbital charges set off seismic fractures in the ground that swallowed the main force whole, whilst the subsequent molten lava sealed up any trace after. To subsequent search parties, they had simply vanished.(How many Rayvens were lost?)

 

Their fleet was destroyed in orbit save their Flagship The Pride of Em'tebank which was heavily damaged, when it tried to stop the Steel Wings(So open war between the Chapters? It looks like it in everything but word. Right now it looks like "Oh by the way, the fleet happened to get destroyed) from bombarding the planet. According to an official report submitted to the High Lords of Terra, the Bahltimyr Rayvens were a dangerous element in the campaign and actions was taken. This, and other reports were never acted upon, their contents consigned to history.(Was this flagship a battle barge? Because between one ship, and however many marines, it doesn't look like the beginnings of an evil empire)

 

Recent History

 

The Bahltimyr Reavers have been seen in various locales in the Imperium, and have become a significant threat for many centuries(either 'significant threat over the centuries' or 'in recent centuries'.). Most recently, they have been in Segmentum Pacificus, attacking Imperial Worlds for slaves(when and why do they start taking slaves? We don't see any transition from 'more-or-less betrayed by the Steel Wings' to 'evil pirates') , recruits and most importantly to re-arm. Despite their best efforts, Imperial scholars can have not worked out any specific pattern to their movements. On more than one occassion, they have withdrawn from a battle when they had the advantage and the ability to deal a crippling blow to their foe. On other occassions they have fought long and hard, seemingly for no gain whatsoever. Their erratic behavior has been attributed to their maddened state(They're mad now? When did that happen?), although it has been the opinion of a few that the Reavers are looking for specific artifacts, and that when they have found them all, woe betide any who cross their path.

 

The ‘Reavers are in fact following the will of the Pantheon, causing unrest, recovering artefacts for unknown purposes. Their leader, Lord Rai Lurweiss has an ulterior motive – to be free of the agreement with the Dark Gods and searches the Galaxy for something worthy to trade.(You introduce this later on. Right now, its out of place, confusing.)

 

It is only a matter of time until their paths cross again with the Steel Wings and finally encounter the Raven Guard.(So this is a goal of theirs? Revenge against the Steel Wings, sure. And they blame the Raven Guard for 'disinheriting' them, giving them something to prove?)

 

Encounter at Syndar

 

An Imperial force consisting of Imperial Guard, a small contingent of Sisters from the Order of the Valorous Heart and three companies of Marines from the Amber Dragons Chapter encountered a Warband that matched the(description of the?) Bahltimyr Reavers on a Shrine World called Syndar. Having insinuated themselves with the Citadel(Where did this come from?) at its capital, the Warband had decimated the planets PDF and were caught trying to [records deleted by the Holy Inquisition]. The Warband had escaped, albeit with heavy casualties.(So I got that they were deeply embedded in the city, but the description is fairly clunky, could use some ironing)

 

The Warband's current whereabouts are unknown.

 

Beliefs

 

The Warband are reluctant followers of the Chaos Pantheon. Those few who have survived an encounter with them believe that they are completely dedicated to their Dark Gods, but this is not so. The Leader of the Warband Lord Rai Lurweiss had made a pact with the Gods to ensure their survival, but the fickle nature of those Gods resulted in many within the group being mutated beyond measure.  These hulking monstrosities are collectively known as the Changed.  In exchange for services rendered, the Pantheon agree to spare the Warband any more additions of those creatures to their ranks. Failure to succeed in their tasks and more Marines are changed.

 

Every member of the Warband are fearful of the Gods because of this and will do their utmost in battle to ensure they are left alone, although there was those who dare court their favour. Lurweiss is bent on finding something to use as a bargaining chip to be finally free of this “agreement”. So far he has found no such thing.(If they have such fear of being changed, why would they do things like withdraw from battles they can win decisively? Is that something they only do when they 'recover' whatever they're after?)

 

Gene-seed

 

As a Chapter of the Cursed Founding, the stability of their Gene-seed, was initial without doubt(Whut? If they started off Raven Guard, they started off in doubt). However, due to their wholesale worship of Chaos Undivided and their subsequent agreement, it is evident that whatever improvements were made, they are being undone. Scholars are unsure as to what extent their Gene-seed has been corrupted(Do scholars really speculate much about the condition of Chaos gene-seed? It's not like it'll be used again.). Encounters with horrifying creatures, both in regular Armour and in Tactical Dreadnought Armour have been reported. Specific details have either been suppressed or lost in transmission.

 

Organisation and tactics

 

Whilst loyal to the Imperium, The Bahltimyr Rayvens followed the Tenets of the Index Astartes and the teachings of their Primarch - those of stealth. Now as traitors to the Imperium of Man, they still use that same disciplined approach to battle, but are more renowned for striking terror into the hearts of their enemies, the sight of the Changed instilling fear in anyone unfortunate to see them.(Do they do anything else to make fear a weapon?)

 

Battle Cry

 

On the open battlefield it is rare for them to have a unified battle cry, although mockingly they have used "Victorus aut Mortis". On covert operations for obvious reasons, they employ silence at all times.

 

 

 

To be placed in side bars:

 

 

Chapter Master Rai Lurweiss had spent days in prayer to Him on Earth, his pleas more and more desperate(I've often wondered if Marines would still do something like pray, despite not believing in the Emperor as a God. With the psychic influence of the Warp, it doesn't seem unreasonable to try to commune with him.).  The remnants of the Chapter were trapped, buried under hundreds of feet of cooling Lava.  The ground had literally swallowed them whole.  Many Marines had died instantly when the ground shook with the impact of the payload thrown down by their so called allies, the Steel Wings.  Others far more slowly, as their crushed forms were slowly covered by magma, their screams ringing in his ears still.  After the events that followed, the survivors considered them to have gotten off lightly.  Many had taken to keeping their own company, the sullen becoming openly hostile if their blackened mood was disturbed.  Others had...changed.  Their flesh was still, as Sons of Corvus Corax ,pale, their eyes like orbs of obsidian.  Whilst that was still true, there was an unhealthy pallor  to their cheeks.  They complained of aches that even their metabolisms couldn't subdue, and a hunger that could not be slaked.  They formed groups, watching the others with an interest that unnerved even Lurweiss himself.  Those who watched had taken to daub their armour with blood, their own at first.  Lurweiss beseeched the Emperor for deliverance and was rewarded with nothing.  No redemption, no salvation.  Days turned to weeks and combat discipline was eroded slowly as those who had changed could no longer slake the hunger that gnawed at their being.  The Chapter turned in on themselves, as one half finally gave in to their instincts, whilst the other, horrified and deeply saddened by what they witnessed tried to contain them and to put an end to their depravity. (So massive destruction at the hands of the Steel Wings, than another half culled after going crazy)

 

In desperation, Rai Luweiss' prayers were ever more fervent, and his entreaties went to anyone who would listen.  The fate of the Bahltimyr Rayvens was sealed, when something did.

 

The price asked for their freedom was far greater than they had bargained for.

 

Hope it helps!

[Octavulg]

Aquilanus

 

Quote

Official Imperial records state that the Chapter known as the Bahltimyr Rayvens

Are you twelve? Do you dress all in black?

 

Because unless you do both, Aquilanus, spelling Ravens with a Y is something which should fill your heart with shame and regret.

 

If you are twelve and do dress all in black: trust me, when you look back, this isn't going to seem like a good idea.

Quote

An unofficial source stated that the Chapter Master of the Raven Guard was horrified by the decision, and stated simply that "No good would become of it", and that the Raven Guard would have nothing to do with it's sibling Chapter under any circumstances, despite the seeming stability of the modifications.

Why would they tell him? Why wouldn't he say "No good would come of it" like a normal person? Why does he have to be quoted directly, instead of just summarized? Why is this all one sentence?

Quote

The go ahead was never the less given and the Bahltimyr Rayvens were born.

I gotta say, I think Ravens of Bahltimyr and Reavers of Bahltimyr would both be a LOT subtler. As is, it's pretty obviously "Baltimore", and it's really, really jarring. Not least because that godawful song from Hairspray starts up in my head each time.

Quote

The first action undertaken by the Rayvens was that of destroying an Ork Waagh! on Bohkmor. Whilst successful, it was a long drawn out campaign, resulting in significant losses. The Ravens went home to Bahltimyr to restock and recruit, which due to the small population, took longer than hoped. This took it's toll on the mindset of many Marines in the Chapter, who were desperate to prove themselves worthy and redeem themselves in the eyes of their Parent Chapter.

Why would the chapter be that invested in their progenitors? They may well not have a training cadre (the Cursed FOunding seems to work a little differently).

 

Also, who cares what the Raven Guard think? I mean, really, all they had to do was sit around and rebuild their numbers, and they screwed that up.

Quote

Their next action took them to another world - Tolibur, and it here that they were more successful. Using stealth tactics similar to the Raven Guard, they ripped the heart out of a fledgling Chaos incursion, with a determined edge that many survivors reported as "Brutal, almost revelling in the carnage they wreaked." This reason for this new doctrine is not known, but other Chapters who had at some point campaigned with them noted that the "Rayvens were terse in speech, reluctant to accept rearguard or defensive functions, and only seemed truly themselves on frontal or stealth attacks" Whilst scholars conclude that this attitude could be due to nothing more than the Chapters need to prove themselves, to be seen as the best at what they do amongst their peers, others have darkly said in whispers that the beginnings of the Bahltimyr Reavers started here....

Stop using dialogue in the middle of narrative paragraphs. It doesn't work well, and it's not really adding anything.

Quote

The Rayvens were forced to take shelter as best they could, the area they were in control of was near a previously inactive Volcano. The orbital charges set off seismic fractures in the ground that swallowed the main force whole, whilst the subsequent molten lava sealed up any trace after. To subsequent search parties, they had simply vanished.

That's the stupidest way I've ever seen a chapter get annihilated. I kind of like it, but they really seem kind of dumb.

Quote

Their fleet was destroyed in orbit save their Flagship The Pride of Em'tebank which was heavily damaged, when it tried to stop the Steel Wings from bombarding the planet. According to an official report submitted to the High Lords of Terra, the Bahltimyr Rayvens were a dangerous element in the campaign and actions was taken. This, and other reports were never acted upon, their contents consigned to history.

Emptybank? Also, surely sending a message to the Steel Wings might have worked a little better than shooting them?

Quote

Recent History

Uh...what? That wasn't an ending of a section. You just killed most of the chapter and then dropped the issue. You haven't explained the bit where they're actually traitors (especially when you say the reports weren't actually acted on.

Quote

The ‘Reavers are in fact following the will of the Pantheon, causing unrest, recovering artefacts and other more unknown purposes. Their Leader Lord Rai Lurweiss has an ulterior motive – to be free of the agreement with the Dark Gods and searches the Galaxy for something worthy to trade.

What agreement?

Quote

It is only a matter of time until their paths cross again with the Steel Wings and finally encounter the Raven Guard.

So what?

Quote

The Warband are reluctant followers of the Chaos Pantheon. Those few who have survived an encounter with them believe that they are completely dedicated to their Dark Gods, but this is not so. The Leader of the Warband Lord Rai Lurweiss had made a pact with the Gods to ensure their survival, but the fickle nature of those Gods resulted in many within the group being mutated beyond measure. These hulking monstrosities are collectively known as the Changed. In exchange for services rendered, the Pantheon agree to spare the Warband any more additions of those creatures to their ranks. Failure to succeed in their tasks and more Marines are changed.

Why would Chaos do that? The mutations and such are signs of their favor. Rejecting those isn't exactly good worshipper behavior.

Quote

As a Chapter of the Cursed Founding, the stability of their Gene-seed, was initial without doubt. However, due to their wholesale worship of Chaos Undivided and their subsequent agreement, it is evident that whatever improvements were made, they are being undone. Scholars are unsure as to what extent their Gene-seed has been corrupted. Encounters with horrifying creatures, both in regular Armour and in Tactical Dreadnought Armour have been reported. Specific details have either been suppressed or lost in transmission.

Yeah, I don't get why they're Cursed Founding. It doesn't really add anything. Hell, at least if they were ordinary RG successors you could have a nice tension between mutation on one hand and slow dwindling to nothingness on he other.

 

* * *

 

Honestly, your guys don't really seem to matter much. They're an unimportant chapter who get wiped out by something stupid and become a warband who don't really matter that much and wants to avenge themselves on enemies who don't even know they exist.

 

If that's intentional, well done. But I don't think it is.

 

What are you trying to get out of these guys? What do you want? And had you considered an outline?

 

* * *

 

Messor

Do scholars really speculate much about the condition of Chaos gene-seed? It's not like it'll be used again.

Yes. Scholars speculate about everything. Though I think it's more a "are they going to dwindle away to nothing and/or try to steal ours"?

Edited March 9, 2013 by Octavulg