Darkchild130 Posted February 28, 2012 Share Posted February 28, 2012 Deleted. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BassWave Posted February 29, 2012 Share Posted February 29, 2012 Welcome back Darkchild :P Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Darkchild130 Posted February 29, 2012 Author Share Posted February 29, 2012 Thanks! any thoughts on my opener? Darkchild Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Darkchild130 Posted February 29, 2012 Author Share Posted February 29, 2012 Deleted for editing Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BassWave Posted February 29, 2012 Share Posted February 29, 2012 I liked the opener and your second submission. I also like how individualistic each legionnaire looks, especially the Valka. Also, one of my favorite lines was when the Legionnaire introduced himself as Alpharius :angry: On line did confuse me though- ‘My friend’ Grippen replied ‘that happens a lot. Who is Grippen? ;) Btw, I wish you luck as you deploy again, stay safe bro :P Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Andrew J Posted February 29, 2012 Share Posted February 29, 2012 I really like your writing style. You have a good grasp of description and do a great job of building the image in the readers head. It feels very grimdark and 40k-ish. I like both parts and look forward to the next part! Good luck on your deployment brother! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pulse Posted March 7, 2012 Share Posted March 7, 2012 Welcome back Darkchild, its great to see more of your writing. Always fantastic to read about the Alpha Legion especially more detailed stories like yours. ;) ‘My friend’ Grippen replied ‘that happens a lot. Who is Grippen? :nuke: I think that was ment to be Valka. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Darkchild130 Posted March 9, 2012 Author Share Posted March 9, 2012 Yes! Valka was called Grippen until the last minute, I missed one out ;) Im in Oman right now, should be going home in the next few days so will get some more writing done. thanks for the comments. Darkchild Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pulse Posted March 22, 2012 Share Posted March 22, 2012 Im in Oman right now, should be going home in the next few days so will get some more writing done. One of my favourite places! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Darkchild130 Posted March 22, 2012 Author Share Posted March 22, 2012 Awesome mountain ranges, reminds me of Northern Afghanistan. I said it had a "savage beauty", my team just looked at me weird. :) Darkchild Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pulse Posted March 24, 2012 Share Posted March 24, 2012 Aye the Hajjar Mountains are beautiful, can see why you'd compare them to Afghanistan. Should see if you can get yourself up around Al Batinah region, stunning! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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