The Dornian Heresy - IA: Salamanders (Under Development)

[AGPO]

I really like Cormac's version of events, it really rings true to the image I have of Vulkan. As for the piece itself, I feel it skips over a little too much of Vulkan's becoming 'civilised' upon his discovery. How does this creature who has never known real human contact adapt to suddenly being one of the most powerful leaders of the greatest civilisation mankind has ever known?

[Kelbor-Hal]

the villagers don't see someone trying to save them, they see something equally monstrous who just happened to be fighting the other monsters

 

I would take this one step further and say Vulkan really just wanted to fight the dark eldar, not particularly protect the mortals. I can pretty much imagine he just tried to vent out his frustration on the xenos, punishing them for his failure to establish a normal relationship with humans. The aliens could be the perfect scapegoat for the primarch, one that'll even come in handy during the Great Crusade (nobody'll frown if the Salamanders whipe out whole planets of aliens, like the abovementioned orks). And nearing the Heresy, when he becomes more and more disillusioned, humans should take it's place in he's heart; that should be a good enough motivation for treason and stuff... :D

[Raven Angel]

the villagers don't see someone trying to save them, they see something equally monstrous who just happened to be fighting the other monsters

 

I would take this one step further and say Vulkan really just wanted to fight the dark eldar, not particularly protect the mortals. I can pretty much imagine he just tried to vent out his frustration on the xenos, punishing them for his failure to establish a normal relationship with humans. The aliens could be the perfect scapegoat for the primarch, one that'll even come in handy during the Great Crusade (nobody'll frown if the Salamanders whipe out whole planets of aliens, like the abovementioned orks). And nearing the Heresy, when he becomes more and more disillusioned, humans should take it's place in he's heart; that should be a good enough motivation for treason and stuff... :)

 

Oh I like that. It rings true with real human behavour. Transferrence leads to Chaos :D

[Aurelius Rex]

Bit of a slog here, but I think I have cracked it now. The aim is first to get the Origins and Great Crusade sections down and show how his idealism for the Imperium soured into bitterness, then go back and re-examine the feedback properly to make sure it properly hangs together. Have also made some tweaks to the main article, such as Dorn finding Vulkan on Nocturne that links to colourpiece 3. Once I complete the Great Crusade section I will re-evaluate it in line with the feedback I have received to make sure it hangs together – I am certainly not ignoring it!

 

Briefly, though, what I am aiming for is to take one of the defining traits of the norm-‘verse Salamanders – how they value community and society far more than other chapters, even living among the tribes of Nocturne – and using it as the reason Vulkan becomes so twisted and bitter when he is denied those things through certain quirks of fate. He wants to be part of the Nocturne village, even pretending to be confined by his shackles to stay amongst them and fighting the (Dark) Eldar raiders to save them, but in the process horrifies them with his destructive potential. He eventually gets disillusioned by them to the point where he wanders in the wastes rather than be around them. His yearning for kinship, for a connection with others, (his father, the primarchs, his legion and his place in the Imperium) is seemingly met when the great Crusade comes to the planet, and he turns his back on those who had rejected him, even making sure that the legion’s fortress monastery would be built on Prometheus rather than Nocturne – twisting the intent of the norm-‘verse action.

 

He throws himself into the great Crusade, eager to prove his worth to all when he finds a niche that few other legions go for – following the xenos raiders like the orks back to their home worlds and wiping them out completely – treating the ‘disease’ rather than treating the symptoms, as it were. (At this stage it is debatable if his actions would have been enough to stop the orks re-spawning from spores, even if he burnt the world to the bedrock… At the time he perhaps didn’t realise how tenacious the ork genus is!)

 

This section, continuing the progress of Great Crusade, shows how Vulkan and the Salamanders fight – brutally indiscriminate, as they are fighting a wars of extermination, and inventively self-reliant (a trait shared by the legion in both timelines) as them are so far from resupply. Then it points up the downside of all this – they are fighting to protect the Imperium, but out of sight is out of mind, and they become forgotten by the very people they are fighting and dying to save.

 

His bitterness grows at Ullanor as he comes to realise this fact, and that the brother-primarchs he wanted so much to be friends with are, with the exception of Dorn, are dismissive or even hostile to him. And on top of this the Emperor, his father, is going back to Terra and leaving them to it.

 

There is a little more after this – of growing bitterness against the idealised dream of Imperial society that leaves him ripe for Dorn to lure him to Istvaan… but that’s getting ahead of things.

 

Anyway… That was the intent, here is the next drafted piece which continues the Great Crusade section. I will also update the original post in this thread to put it in context.

+++

 

Colourpiece 2:

From the bridge of the Blackened, Vulkan’s eyes flickered between the rapidly scrolling telemetry and the hololith displaying the ship they had so recently boarded. Slowly, almost languorously, the ork cruiser began to drop down the gravity well towards the planet far below. On Cythrax Kelon they had used bombardment cannon to pulverise the greenskin’s hives from orbit, but with stocks of the specialised munitions running low, a far more elegant solution had presented itself; to use the enemy’s own ships against them.

 

Vulkan’s face – his new face – itched unbearably where the fresh grafts were still knitting, and he forced himself not to scratch as the long minutes wore on. He noted the trajectory of the vessel begin to drift from its intended target – a welcome distraction - but remained sanguine. Such was the destructive potential of a burning mountain of metal moving at terminal velocity that a direct hit wasn’t required to obliterate the city. Even before the impact, Vulkan was devising strategies of how best to use the remaining ships of the former ork fleet. He wanted to see the world burn.

 

With the ork threat eliminated, the legion was ready to turn its attention to bringing the lost human colony worlds into the Imperium. However, such was their success in the Cythrax cluster that their services were requested for similar actions against xenos empires across the galaxy. Buoyed and flattered by such unfamiliar adulation, the Salamanders ventured once more beyond the borders of known space. From the initial boarding actions against orbiting warships through to tunnel-fighting in cave systems, bunkers and sewers beneath destroyed cities, the Salamanders brought death to the foes of humanity.

 

Sadly, never had the adage of ‘out of sight, out of mind’ been more accurate. Upon returning to the Imperium to attend the Emperor at Ullanor, it became clear to Vulkan that the bulk of humanity knew nothing of the sacrifices his legion had made to keep them safe. Even many of his brother primarchs seemed unaware, or downright dismissive of the Salamander’s achievements. Many boasted of the numbers of worlds brought into the Imperium and the multi-million strong parades of celebration held by grateful populations liberated from the tyranny of alien invaders, and yet there had been no cheering crowds waiting to thank them for all the potential invasions they had averted.

 

Colourpiece 3:

‘You’ve spoken of your extensive experience against the orks, “bruh-ther”,’ drawled Fulgrim venomously, ‘but if it’s as great as you claim then why didn’t father ask you help him against the hordes he defeated on this very planet? But then... you were never father’s favourite, were you?’ This evening of feasting alongside his brother-primarchs should have been a time of joy, but Vulkan found little of the camaraderie and fraternity he had expected. He pushed back the chair and left the table, only to find that Fulgrim was following him, and was not done with his taunts.

 

‘The instant our father detected my presence He diverted His fleet to Chemos to find me Himself. He did the same when He went personally to Prospero, Fenris, Caliban, Chogoris, Baal, Macragge, Nostramo, Deliverance, Colchis, Barbarus, Olympus, Medusa… he even stood beside Angron in battle the first time they met! But not you, Vulkan. Haven’t you ever wondered why our father sent Dorn and I to collect you rather than go Himself? Even from light-years away he could tell you were broken… not worth His time.’

 

Vulkan felt the urge to punch Fulgrim rise – to break that perfect nose all over again - but before he could do something he would regret, Rogal Dorn stepped between them and leaned in to whisper something to Fulgrim that even Vulkan’s superb hearing couldn’t catch. Later in the evening Vulkan asked his friend what he had said to cause the Primarch of the Emperor’s Children to storm off in such a rage, but the only response Dorn would ever give was to say ‘I told him the truth.’

 

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[Raven Angel]

I like it. Just the right air of mystere mixed with sprinkling of facts. 100/100 :)

[Macerio]

I like the fact that Fulgrim's a poncy jerk -- just like I've always imagined him. :)

[Ace Debonair]

I like the fact that Fulgrim's a poncy jerk -- just like I've always imagined him. :D

 

He seemed so much cooler in the DH Emperor's Children IA, didn't he?

 

 

Quality stuff so far, Aurelius. ;)

[Aurelius Rex]

Oh, Fulgrim gets his time to shine in IA:Iron Hands as well! :D However I have generally tried to write the IA from the perspective of the protagonists, on the basis that every man is the hero of his own story.

 

It is no coincidence that in the colourpieces Vulkan and Dorn, the eventual traitors, have come out as more sympathetic and heroic than Fulgrim, the guy who stays loyal.

 

And having re-watched Dodgeball last week, Fulgrim here struck me very much like the preening narcissist White Goodman of Team Purple Cobra played by Ben Stiller - I can just imagine him shouting 'No-one makes me bleed my own blood!' after Vulkan broke his nose when they first met. ;)

[Phoros]

Fulgrim seems even more of a horrible person than Alpharius now. :|

[Kelbor-Hal]

Fulgrim seems even more of a horrible person than Alpharius now. :|

 

And why exactly is Alparius a horrible person, my good sir?

 

And about Fulgrim: He's been portrayed in the second colourpiece as an idiot, despite at worst he's a pompous ass. It seems to me you've all forgotten how diplomatic he can be (just rememrer False Gods for a minute), so I can't really picture him bashing around on the victory feast like some bully... (In private? Sure. But in front of everyone? Not very likely.). So, I'm not convinced here. (Though I understand the whole perspective play, I didn't think the colourpieces were part of that. Please, correct me if I'm wrong.)

[Raven Angel]

It seams too that you forget that this is an AR and that this Fulgrim is not the same man as the on in Flase Gods. They have had slightly different experiances and it would appear that in this universe Fulgrim is a Biger ass with fewer breaks on his mouth. Personally I have found few redeeming qualities to the man in either universe. Might be because he remindes me of real people I have known.

[Aurelius Rex]

Fulgrim seems even more of a horrible person than Alpharius now. :|

 

And why exactly is Alparius a horrible person, my good sir?

 

And about Fulgrim: He's been portrayed in the second colourpiece as an idiot, despite at worst he's a pompous ass. It seems to me you've all forgotten how diplomatic he can be (just rememrer False Gods for a minute), so I can't really picture him bashing around on the victory feast like some bully... (In private? Sure. But in front of everyone? Not very likely.). So, I'm not convinced here. (Though I understand the whole perspective play, I didn't think the colourpieces were part of that. Please, correct me if I'm wrong.)

Regarding Fulgrim, I did want to continue the hatred and demeaning, even bullying nature that he has towards Vulkan as it in part leads to Vulkan siding with Dorn, the closest primarch he has to a friend, at Istvaan. Fulgrim sees Vulkan as a broken, burned thing not worthy of the name 'primarch', and in truth events on Nocturne have left him far less confident and indeed needy than the Horus Heresy timeline Vulkan. Given his perfectionist nature Fulgrim senses this weakness and like the bully he is, delights in his taunts.

 

However, I don't want to take it too far towards pantomime villany and take your point that Fulgrim would probably try to get in the most poisonous taunts away from the eyes of his brothers. I currently have had Vulkan leave after the comments about why he wasn't called to help against the orks ar Ullanor and only when he leaves the table does Fulgrim really start laying into Vulkan about the Emperor not coming to find him personally. Would making it clearer that they were actually away from the others and that's when Fulgrim let loose help the situation - that Fulgrim only really got nasty when he thought he had Vulkan alone? Ooh, that makes him seem even nastier than when doing it in front of the others, because he knows he was doing wrong! Probably more fitting, though!

 

Regarding False Gods, it is a long while since I have read the book... do you have a specific chapter / section in mind for me to re-read?

[Kelbor-Hal]

that Fulgrim only really got nasty when he thought he had Vulkan alone? Ooh, that makes him seem even nastier than when doing it in front of the others, because he knows he was doing wrong! Probably more fitting, though!

 

Yepp, he's the exact person to care for the veneer, so that's why he would never ever make that performance in front of eweyone :)

 

Regarding False Gods, it is a long while since I have read the book... do you have a specific chapter / section in mind for me to re-read?

 

During the war with the Auretian Technocracy, Fulgrim appears with enough force to crush the Warmaster. Instead he decides to take a more subtle way to remind Horus who he is, and waht he suppose to repesent as the highest authiority next to the Emperor. That's not a hothead, running around whit scissors at the dinnertable...

(Sorry for the bad garammer, I am quite drunk at the moment, thank you...)

[Phoros]

Alpharius is a horrible person because, as far as I can see, he was fully aware that Guilliman wanted to reconcile with the Imperium. They're the masters of getting information out of people without their knowledge; why wouldn't they know Guilliman's intentions?

[Raven Angel]

that Fulgrim only really got nasty when he thought he had Vulkan alone? Ooh, that makes him seem even nastier than when doing it in front of the others, because he knows he was doing wrong! Probably more fitting, though!

 

Yepp, he's the exact person to care for the veneer, so that's why he would never ever make that performance in front of eweyone :)

 

Regarding False Gods, it is a long while since I have read the book... do you have a specific chapter / section in mind for me to re-read?

 

During the war with the Auretian Technocracy, Fulgrim appears with enough force to crush the Warmaster. Instead he decides to take a more subtle way to remind Horus who he is, and waht he suppose to repesent as the highest authiority next to the Emperor. That's not a hothead, running around whit scissors at the dinnertable...

(Sorry for the bad garammer, I am quite drunk at the moment, thank you...)

 

I don't recall saying he was. I beleive I called him an ASS>>>>. You can be smart, charming, diplomatic, and all sorts of good things and still be a first class jerk. The fact he's not a hot head makes it worse because everyone knows that he has considered every insult and taunt. The very same sinces that make him a good diplomate provide him the information to make each word as painful as possible to Vulkan and maybe even sling them in ways that his other brothers might not catch. That is the crule game he's playing in my experiance.

[Conn Eremon]

I do admit that the Fulgrim piece seemed rather out of character. Not terribly so. I think my primary issue with it is that it seemed completely unprovoked. Fulgrim doesn't seem like the kind of person to act that way at the get-go, but I could see him degenerating to that once provoked to it. So my first bit of two cents is that it might serve the piece better if we see something provocative to set the scene.

 

The second bit is that this:

“bruh-ther”

Pulled me out of the piece right from the start. Who knew Hulk Hogan was the Emperor's Children Primarch?

I think it would have been a lot better if you just wrote it out normally, and described how Fulgrim drawled the last word with extra venom. I'm not a very good writer, or student of the English language, so I can't think of any better way to say that, or if there's a term for it. But I know the authors generally considered good rather tend to do it the latter than the former, and it does make it better at least to me.

 

This post seems unduly critical, so I want to add that I'm loving what you've got going for Vulkan and his Legion. This niche you've added, of hunting down xenos worlds and burning them out at the source, is just pure win. Your Dornian Heresy is the entire reason why I ever learned of this website, and I joined primarily to make it easier to follow your work.

[Aqui]

The second bit is that this:

“bruh-ther”

 

It kinda spoilt it for me as well :jaw:

 

However, it could be rewritten like this:

 

‘You’ve spoken of your extensive experience against the orks, Brother,’ drawled Fulgrim, emphasising the last word venomously,

 

Except that, I like it :angry:

[Kelbor-Hal]

Alpharius is a horrible person because, as far as I can see, he was fully aware that Guilliman wanted to reconcile with the Imperium. They're the masters of getting information out of people without their knowledge; why wouldn't they know Guilliman's intentions?

 

Guilliman was a traitor who killed loyal astartes and imperials. He was guilty, no remorse and not even the fact that he's been mislead can change that (even without the Istvaan massacre, he was a secessionist at best).

With that said will you, as the head of a super mistrustful and paranoid organisation trust him, or any info that says he's seen his errors and wants back in (and you can forget the personal grudges between the two primarchs, I'm talking about a professional viewpoint here)?

[Epistolary Exander]

Alpharius is a horrible person because, as far as I can see, he was fully aware that Guilliman wanted to reconcile with the Imperium. They're the masters of getting information out of people without their knowledge; why wouldn't they know Guilliman's intentions?

 

Guilliman was a traitor who killed loyal astartes and imperials. He was guilty, no remorse and not even the fact that he's been mislead can change that (even without the Istvaan massacre, he was a secessionist at best).

With that said will you, as the head of a super mistrustful and paranoid organisation trust him, or any info that says he's seen his errors and wants back in (and you can forget the personal grudges between the two primarchs, I'm talking about a professional viewpoint here)?

 

Any Man City/ United fan would point you towards the Carlos Tevez affair and the affects of his return :tu:.

[AGPO]

Any word on the next installment Aurelius?

[Aurelius Rex]

Oops! Sorry about the long delay, real life has intervened the last few weeks. Hope to get the next installment up in the next 48 hours.

[AGPO]

Huzzah! I'm really looking forward to seeing what happens, Malal was one of my favourite bits of the old background.

[Kelbor-Hal]

Ok, am I going to be it? Well, what the heck... Krhhmm, boss, where's the new stuff?

[Ace Debonair]

Ok, am I going to be it? Well, what the heck... Krhhmm, boss, where's the new stuff?

*Drums fingers on the table*

Ah, I've figured it out!

 

Warp Storms. It's the only logical explanation.!

[Kelbor-Hal]

*Drums fingers on the table*

Ah, I've figured it out!

 

Warp Storms. It's the only logical explanation.!

Seems plausible :devil: But still, better hurry up, because the Plague of Unbelief is abot to rise it's ugly head, if this continues...