DG's WIP Chapter: The Impalers

[darth_giles]

So I'm sure a few of us remember me brainstorming a chapter called the "Totenkopf" a few months back. Since then we've had a new Chaos Space Marine codex, and I honestly don't like their new look. So here's a continuation of my experiment in pushing the envelope for just how evil a Space Marine chapter can become, while still claim loyalty to the Inquisition.

 

What I did, ultimately, was think out what really happen, and then had to purge information that the Inquisition would naturally redact. This chapter violates a few of the normal rules of DIY chapters, but much of that was fortunately purgable. The inquisition wouldn't really want the true history of its new lapdogs getting out, or that they've got a few relatively minor mutations.

 

I am aware the "evil eye" motif is generally used by the Black Legion. I've always wondered why the Inquisition never tried co-opting it; after all, the Inquisition is supposed to be watching everyone, and what better motif to scare the living hell out of their enemies? They also favor glowing red skeleton and angel of death motifs.

 

Ok, open for comment!

 

Update 1/4: After reading some commentary by Oilsredan (sorry if I misspelled the name), I've had a few "better" ideas. I'm going to see if they'd require a completely new IA, or just some major editing.

[darth_giles]

=I= PURGED =I=

 

This IA was deemed too impure and is being redone. See the first post for where to find the updated IA when I have it finished.

[fivepointedstar]

So I'm confused. Are they Night Lord-like imperials? And being so close tied to the Inquisition would the cartoon -like iris , and pure white skin color throw them into the not-so-pure gene seed category. And using the codex would grant you Blood Angel weaponry, are they from Sanguinis' blood line? You just listed there flaws, but nothing about red thirst, etc that is common with Blood Angel codex users.

[darth_giles]

I took the codex that closest matches their fighting style. Maybe they're kin to the Night Lords, maybe they're a particularly debased Raven Guard successor whose geneseed was bolstered with compatible cultures from another chapter. Who knows for sure?

 

On the issue of mutations- the Sallies have dark brown to obsidian black skin depending on who's painting them, and they have some issue with slow reflexes. Does that make them any less pure? And when does the Inquisition finally excommunicate a chapter for mutation, anyway? Should we use the Ultramarines' geneseed as the standard, or the Black Dragons' ?

[Olis]

I'm going to go through this with a fine-tooth comb, so I expect I'll be picking you up on issues that others might miss. If any of it sounds harsh, I'm not trying to be. Just bear in mind the Liber is well known for critique resembling a bowling ball. <_<

 

The first appearance of the Blood Spectres is sealed under an Inquisitorial seal. Its name appears in the lists of the Third Founding chapters compiled in late M.40 and all of M.41. Their logo is the all- seeing eye of the Inquisition, usually depicted as glaring from the center of a book. Skeleton and angel of death motifs are also very popular, however the Eye of the Inquisition is their official badge.

 

I have a couple of issues here, firstly is the labelling of the chapter as a third founding chapter but, by the looks of it, prior to M40, their history has been redacted by the Inquisition. Now, on the one hand this smacks of laziness, if you'll forgive me for saying so, as it appears to be an attempt to give the chapter provenance without actually going to the effort of actually giving them the history that goes with it. To me the Inquisition is a thorough organisation but the bureaucracy of the Imperium is so labyrinthine that there will be records of the chapter somewhere, especially if it has been around for the majority of the lifespan of the Imperium. I suggest adding in data that the Inquisition supposedly missed, grimoirs from somewhere or perhaps battle reports from such-and-such sector/world or maybe even records from another chapter. Bear in mind that you are the compiler of this chapter, so it must appear that your work has been the result of research, of gathering data.

 

On the other hand it is such a wide gap in the records, it beggars belief. It really does. If it was a twenty-third founding chapter, then fair enough, but a third founding chapter? Many third founding chapters are practically famous - at the very least chapters that old have some gravitas to their name just by being old. Refusing to expound upon details should only be done when it has a dramatic impact; here it does not. Invoking the Inquisition this early on in the article is a mistake, in my opinion. Perhaps using lost history is genuinely the route that you wish to travel. I suggest using a different method.

 

Onto the second point - the "Eye of the Inquisition". Or more specifically, there is no such thing. The Inquisition never adopted it because it is, to the Imperium, a tainted symbol - very much like a particular symbol of the Third Reich in the eyes of western society. The Inquisition has always used a stylised 'I' as their overriding symbol of authority, rather than an eye. If you wish to have ties to the Inquisition (like the Red Hunters) then the stylised 'I' (or =][= as it is usually typed) including in chapter symbology is sufficient.

 

The first combat fought by the Blood Spectres was in late M.40, during the Scourging of Athenos; three assault squads and a Flamestorm Predator tank were present. Their use of excessive force in the Scourging was noteworthy: they put five cities to the torch and earned the censure of both the Imperial Guard general in command of the Scourging and the Ministorum. The latter's condemnation was upon the local Preacher's being invited to the chapter's rites of victory following the Scourging, and his refusal to partake of the cannibalistic sacrament the chapter's Apothecary and Chaplain had prepared.

 

Only five cities? If you want to make these guys the bad boys of 40k you're going to have to go far blacker than that. 40k itself doesn't exhibit black-and-white morality, only shades of (usually dark) grey. Purges happen all the time. Pogroms occur regularly. Crusades rise and fall as if the Imperium used them to breathe. Five cities is nothing. First of all, if you want maximum impact, have the Athenons liberate themselves (or at least help) and still have them get purged by the Blood Spectres. And I say Athenons because if you want people to take notice it'll have to be the entire lot. The whole planet. Anything less isn't worth worrying about in the grand scheme of things.

 

Secondly, cannibalistic rites have served, in the past, to get at least one still loyal chapter excommunicated. This sort of practice skates a fine line indeed and if the ministorum gets word of it, they will almost certainly decry the chapter (leading to very strained relations between the two) and possibly, well, probably even call in the Inquisition on it. There would be fallout of such an act. How much though is up to you.

 

Since then, the Blood Spectres have tended to avoid fighting near other Imperial forces if at all possible. Their bloodthirst, overt cannibalism, and abuse of terror tactics have made them unsavory allies at best. Only their being the rabid lapdogs of the Inquisition has kept them from being declared excommunicate.

 

The Inquisition is a fickle beast - being 'lapdogs of the Inquisition' really only translates as 'lapdogs of a particular Inquisitor/group of Inquisitors', and it wouldn't really save them from anything if another, presumably puritan, Inquisitor decides to cause trouble for them. Like I said before, they are skating on incredibly thin ice and I would suggest at least hinting at previous trouble in the past from certain individuals that didn't take a shine to them.

 

In 767 M.41, the entire chapter was relocated to support the Sabbat Worlds crusade, where it has only earned censure three times: once for setting fire to refugee camps that were suspected of harboring rebels and heretics, once for the flinging of a rabble- rousing preacher out a seventy- ninth story window instead of bringing him back alive for interrogation, and once for the cannibalistic devouring of an Imperial Guard company whose commander had fallen to heresy and turned his unit's guns on his allies. Each of these incidents has drawn merely a shrug from the Inquisitors that accompany the Blood Spectres.

The Blood Spectres' first company earned battle honors during the liberation of the forge world Urdesh.

 

This paragraph is a blatant name drop - besides the mention of the Sabbat Crusades and Urdesh, what is the significance of this tract? That the Blood Spectres are being watched over? That, in my mind, diminishes them. In this paragraph they have gone from being the potential black sheep of the astartes family to teachers pets. I would advise dropping the Sabbat Crusade reference first of all (not matter how cool it is), then dropping the reference to the Inquisition. To keep it would belittle them.

 

The examples for the three censures could do with some work, I think. Setting fire to refugee camps? Others have been there and done that. Beheading every single one of them and then displaying the heads on pikes (or simply impaling the lot of them) would be a touch of Vlad the Impaler that I think would fit quite well. An unnecessary and arguably amusing execution of a wanted preacher? Meh. Why would that matter, even if the local authorities got in a tizzy over it? Doing the same to an arguably innocent planetary governor (or someone of at least similar status) would be something a little more interesting, though. Eating a heretic? Okay, this one does sound pretty good but why would the chapter do so? Eating tainted meat is obviously a bad idea and if cannibalism didn't cross the line, chowing down on a little piece of Chaos certainly does, regardless of who has your back.

 

The Blood Spectres have no known homeworld. They instead have a Fortress- Monastery, carved from a mighty asteroid found near Anvilus 9. It was carved by the Adeptus Mechancius based upon the specification of a Ramilles- class Starfort, and includes comparable defenses. It bears warp engines of ancient and arcane design which were added later; these engines are somewhat less than reliable, and the Fortress- Monastery barely survived its first jump through the Immaterium to Mars for repair and supply.

 

Okay, when you say "near Anvilus 9", what exactly do you mean? It can't be in the same planetary system as Anvilus 9, as that is Mechanicus domains. Do you mean it is in the same sub-sector? Also, why add warp engines to it (especially unreliable ones), when the original design was, I assume, STC based? What was the point of making a warp jump to Mars when repair and resupply can be found reasonably easily elsewhere?

 

The chapter's current recruiting habits are unknown, although it has little shortage of Scouts. Indeed, its Scout company (currently numbered 5th, although this number is adjusted down as each successive company becomes combat- ready) is full to overflowing.

 

You're going to have to fill this out a bit, brother, as this is another example of possible literary laziness. If the recruiting habits are unknown, then what information are we using if we know the scout company is full to overflowing? Surely if we know that there are plenty of scouts in the chapter, then we'd know the basic training the chapter uses? Why is it full to overflowing? What is the point to have so many scouts if the codex organisation of the chapter is still under strength? Really it should be the other way around. The chapter exhibits an understrength force when it cannot keep up with replacements - having little shortage of scouts should theoretically account for the usual losses the chapter would have.

 

The Blood Spectres fight using fear itself as a weapon. They make lightning strikes using stormraven gunships and large numbers of assault marines, often armed with melta and flamer weaponry. They will often make use of underhanded tactics to spread increasing fear, such as using communications jammers to broadcast canned screams and images of torture on a planetary scale, poisoning water and food supplies, using scouts to plant demolition charge on key bridges and then detonating them when supply convoys are crossing, and so forth. These tactics appear to connect to one of the chapter's mutations, which is detailed later.

 

Besides the broadcasting part, none of that paragraph (overtly) has anything to do with terror tactics. Kidnapping, torture, execution of the weak and vulnerable and any other psychological terror tactics would fit much better than guerrilla warfare and lightning strikes. Like I said, if these marines are meant to be the worst the loyalist astartes has to offer, they had better act like it.

 

The chapter's Librarians seem to have access to powerful psychic powers not seen since before the Heresy. Most notable is their ability to cloud or uncloud the Immaterium. This has a double effect: firstly it can block astropathic transmissions and make warp travel to a given world risky at best. It secondly prevents disturbances in the warp that would allow daemonic incursions.

 

Er... what? Might I say that this tract simply does not work. Firstly, how would anyone know what psychic powers were used during the Heresy? And where do these unusually powerful psykers come from? Wouldn't it be better to have regular psykers using their powers in new and interesting ways? Like, oh I don't know, terror tactics?

 

So let's assume your Librarians can handle themselves. Fair enough. But clouding the Immaterium? Dare I say that sort of jiggery pockery requires quite a lot more power than an astartes Librarian can muster - the sort of power that being in league with the Dark Gods brings. Also, when messing with the warp, stopping daemonic incursions usually means putting a bolt round into a psyker's head or closing a portal already in existence. My recommendation is to drop the passage or rewrite it entirely as it makes little sense.

 

The Blood Spectres' organization differs from that of a Codex chapter in several notable ways. The most obvious is that like the Blood Angels, all battle- brothers enter service as Devastators. There are no dedicated Tactical or Assault Marines; a battle- brother is expected to be able to perform each role equally well, and be able to change role depending on the needs of a given campaign.

 

You are going to have to explain why the chapter doesn't follow codex recommendations - how did they arrive at the point where they decided not to follow codex stricture? Also, if there are no tactical marines or assault marines, why the devil is there devastator marines? What is the point of the exception? What would be the point in beginning service as a battle brother specialising in being a devastator when all marines are of a non-specialist nature?

 

An individual battle company has a dedicated staff composed of one Captain, one Chaplain, at least three Apothecaries, at least one Techmarine, and at least two Librarians. The companies are composed of two squads of veterans trained in the use of Terminator armor, six squads which might be employed as either Tactical or Assault, and two Devastator squads.

 

Again, with codex deviations, such as three apothecaries or two librarians instead of one, you'll have to provide a reason why this is the way your chapter has chosen to do this instead of follow the given codex organisation. The same goes for the veteran squads not being in the first company.

 

The chapter's fifth company is still in training but appears to be specialized in the use of bikes, as it already has three full- strength bike squads and two dedicated attack bike squads. The remaining seven squads are scout squads trained in the use of bikes. This makes for a total of twelve squads, raising the possibility that the sixth company will be similarly specialized.

 

Hang on, this company is supposed to be the scout company, right? Why are there bike squads in it? Also, why the specialisation in bikes when you specifically stated before that each battle-brother is supposed to perform each role equally well and their role is assigned depending on the situation? It's the same issue as with the devastators. Either your chapter, like most others, has specialists or, like as has been hinted at, they don't.

 

Dreadnoughts are one thing the Blood Spectres are severely lacking. They have a total of three: one armed in the traditional manner, and two who prefer to use a pair of close combat weapons and magna- grapples. These are assigned to the chapter headquarters and only rarely parceled out. One is believed to have been with the original contingent of Blood Spectres, however this has not been entirely confirmed or denied.

 

I must say that the lack of dreads is all well and good - it shows that you have actively attempted to give your chapter some sort of weakness - but the inclusion of BA specific wargear is odd when there is no explanation why the chapter has them. There is no allusion that the chapter has taken them as spoils of war nor is there any indication that the chapter is descended from the Blood Angels (excepting circumstantial evidence). So why have Blood Angel dreadnoughts?

 

The Blood Spectres' insignia follows the Codex Astartes reasonably well. They wear their chapter badge on their left shoulder pad, and have their squad designation (tactical, assault, devastator, veteran, or command) on the right with their squad number painted above it in gothic numerals.

The chapter does continue the awarding of service studs. One is awarded above the left eyebrow for each decade of service as a battle- brother, with additional ones forming a horizontal line. All are replaced by an Aquila after fifty years, and no further studs are awarded. No tattoos are authorized.

 

Sounds fine by me, although why change from a stud to a bar at all? What significance is there to this practice? Wouldn't it be less of a faff to leave that bit out?

 

Of note is the fact that the Blood Spectres refuse to use modern styles of power armor, and insist on using updated versions of Mk.II and Mk.III armor. They are currently using updated versions of those armors, which are commonly referred to as Mk.IIIc. This armor uses an Mk.III- styled chestplate and helmet, with Mk.VI or Mk.VII- styled pantaloons and Mk.VII shoulder pads. All pieces of Mk.IIIc armor have been updated to modern standards, and thus show no appreciable performance loss compared to a complete suit of Mk.VI or VII armor when paired with a suitable power supply backpack.

 

There is no easy way to say this - the Imperium does not "update" things. Older things are generally seen as better so "updating" something is seen as sacrilege. You might also want to explain why the chapter refuses to wear 'modern' power armour when it is the most abundant system. Getting a hold of a chapter's worth of older gear is not very likely, especially considering astartes wargear gets destroyed sooner or later. It's an inevitability for most items.

 

The Blood Spectres venerate the Emperor in debased cannibalistic rites. They refuse to acknowledge his divinity, much to the annoyance of the Ministorum, but still venerate him as many other Space Marine chapters do. Troublingly, the chapter's iconography shows the Emperor as a figure of light, escorted by a shadowy figure who can often only be identified by glowing green eyes. The chapter refuses to explain these banners.

 

And this is where the Inquisition would want to have a word with the chapter - odd figures on banners makes people ask questions. Refusing to explain it, especially to the Inquisition, would only make matters worse and could very well result in the chapter being excommunicated.

 

The chapter's Chaplains don't receive Rosarii from the Ministorm because of their refusal to abandon their cannibalistic rites; they are instead granted protective talismans by the Adeptus Mechanicus and Inquisition. Their Crozii Arcani are not heirloom pieces; to date none of the chapter's seven chaplains has received an heirloom one, although this is expected to change as the chapter reaches full combat strength and chaplains fall in combat.

Of note is the fact that the chapter's apothecaries serve in a religious role as well as a medical one. They take their role as guardian of the chapter's geneseed very seriously, and have duties as well in the chapter's great feasts. They carry blood chalices which they gather the blood of their victims, and can sometimes be used to revive a falling battle- brother.

 

Besides this being a mash-up between the Blood Angel and Iron Hands(?), what exactly is the point to this paragraph except a justification to use the Blood Angels Codex?

 

Why exactly would the Mechanicus favour the chapter when the Ecclesiarchy has spurned them? As far as I know the AdMech would probably find cannibalism equally distasteful. If the Inquisition are involved, then why not get Rosarius' from them? Why would the chapter not have 'heirloom pieces'? What prevents them from passing a deceased chaplains equipment to another? Why would this practice change when the chapter reaches full strength?

 

The chapter's captains, apothecaries, chaplains, librarians, standard bearers, Master of the Forge, and Master of the Fleet are all noted for wearing leather robes made out of flayed human skin. The exact significance of this is not known, however the robes do show tattoos which were placed upon the skins of their victims before their death and flaying.

 

Alright, for once, this is a paragraph I don't have an issue with. This sounds just right for the image you're going for and it doesn't contradict anything. All it needs is shortening - instead of reeling out rank after rank, it'd be better on the reader for it to be 'officers'.

 

Their debased rites center upon a feast which follows a great victory or the conclusion of a campaign. Victims are gathered throughout the campaign, and subjected to ritual torture by the chapter's apothecaries and chaplains. The night of the feast they are bound or caged, and brought to the chapter's ad-hoc festival ground where they are slaughtered and butchered one by one. Their blood is drained into the apothecaries' chalices, and their flesh consumed by the chapter as a whole.

 

Again, sounds good. I take it the chapter are supposed to be BA descendants given all of these cues throughout the article, yes? I think it's best if you bite the bullet and directly state it somewhere.

 

While the Blood Spectres possess all the organs of a Space Marine's geneseed, there are a few noted mutations. These are far from abnormal when compared to those of the Black Dragons or Minotaurs, but the Inquisition continues to watch them.

 

The Melanchromic Organ only produces white pigments, which give the chapter's battle- bretheren an ashen complexion. The notable exception are the brothers' eyes, which become coal black with no other visible color.

 

The sounds oddly like the Raven Guard or the Space Sharks. Perhaps you could attempt to somehow distance yourself from these chapters? How about making these mutations affect the astartes in such a way that they are effectively albinos? You know, the whole kit and kaboodle - red irises, wite hair, white skin etc, etc. Does that sound any good?

 

One mutation which the Inquisition is monitoring closely is an unusual growth in the Catalepsian Node. This growth appears to induce empathic psyker talents in the recipient, which allow the Space Marine to feed off the fear of his victims. There is much speculation where the growth first originated; some of the chapter's earlier combats were skirmishes against the Dark Eldar and the chapter is known to have eaten several of them. This combined with the Omophaegea might have induced the growth of a predatory empathic mutation in the geneseed.

 

This bit sounds... dodgy. Not every human has the potential to show psyker powers, nascent or otherwise, and having the Catalepsean Node induce such powers in anyone sounds quite like a reason to purge the chapter to me. Wouldn't it sound more plausible to have a mutation in, say... the Neuroglottis so that they can taste pheromones in the air? So, essentially, they can taste your fear?

 

The Blood Spectres have no known battle cry. They instead pipe the recorded screams of their tortured victims through their helmet voxes.

 

Again, sounds good, fits in with the psychological warfare shtick.

 

 

So there you have it, those are my comments and criticisms. I hope at least some of it will help.

[Madwolf Shadowmane]

The only suggestion I have That was not already covered by Olisredan is that you don't worry about the tabletop rules dictate your fluff. You create more problems by mixing the two. Just my two cents.

 

Madwolf

[darth_giles]

Thanks for the input. It'll take a little while to process- I haven't had breakfast yet- and I'll see what's going on. Olisredan, you actually gave me an idea or two.

[fivepointedstar]

Like Madwolf said you seem to be justifying your reason to use Codex: Blood Angels. And by the lot of info you've provided about your chapter wouldn't it be easier to say they are from the ninth primarch then take the unknown, and in league with the Inquisition route. From the read above with your terror tactics, and cannibalism, you've managed to re-name an existing chapter called the Flesh Eaters. They to are similar to your style of warfare. I'm just throwing idea's out there for you, but how about making your Blood Spectres the successors to the Flesh Eaters. As in Codex: Blood Angels and IA: Flesh Eaters written by Midnight Runner states that they have no known successors. But whose to say they didn't father one before they were fatally undone. Its would tie in a lot of the missing components of your IA. thats, my two cents thou.

[Olis]

Thanks for the input. It'll take a little while to process- I haven't had breakfast yet- and I'll see what's going on. Olisredan, you actually gave me an idea or two.

 

Glad to help. :)

[darth_giles]

On the other hand it is such a wide gap in the records, it beggars belief. It really does. If it was a twenty-third founding chapter, then fair enough, but a third founding chapter? Many third founding chapters are practically famous - at the very least chapters that old have some gravitas to their name just by being old. Refusing to expound upon details should only be done when it has a dramatic impact; here it does not. Invoking the Inquisition this early on in the article is a mistake, in my opinion. Perhaps using lost history is genuinely the route that you wish to travel. I suggest using a different method.

The original version involved time shenanigans, and some redacting on the part of the High Lords. I've got a better idea based on something you mentioned further down. Let's say for the moment they're 14th Founding, from somewhat before the Age of Apostacy. They were originally told they had Raven Guard geneseed, but the chapter suspects otherwise for various reasons. They have a millennium of being absent from the Imperium due to a Penitent Crusade that went wrong- the entire chapter got shipped off to the Halo Zone beyond the Astronomicon. They came back several kinds of messed- up, but at least made sure to check their warp-tainted artifacts at the door.

 

After all, it would be a bit smarter to turn over anything they'd found to the proper authorities instead of coming back from Penitent Crusade to end up like the Relictors ultimately did.

 

Onto the second point - the "Eye of the Inquisition". Or more specifically, there is no such thing. The Inquisition never adopted it because it is, to the Imperium, a tainted symbol - very much like a particular symbol of the Third Reich in the eyes of western society. The Inquisition has always used a stylised 'I' as their overriding symbol of authority, rather than an eye. If you wish to have ties to the Inquisition (like the Red Hunters) then the stylised 'I' (or =][= as it is usually typed) including in chapter symbology is sufficient.

You gave me a better idea further down. The Eye of the Inquisition has been put to the chainaxe and melta, and there was much rejoicing and waving of Impaling Spears.

 

Secondly, cannibalistic rites have served, in the past, to get at least one still loyal chapter excommunicated. This sort of practice skates a fine line indeed and if the ministorum gets word of it, they will almost certainly decry the chapter (leading to very strained relations between the two) and possibly, well, probably even call in the Inquisition on it. There would be fallout of such an act. How much though is up to you.

 

The Inquisition is a fickle beast - being 'lapdogs of the Inquisition' really only translates as 'lapdogs of a particular Inquisitor/group of Inquisitors', and it wouldn't really save them from anything if another, presumably puritan, Inquisitor decides to cause trouble for them. Like I said before, they are skating on incredibly thin ice and I would suggest at least hinting at previous trouble in the past from certain individuals that didn't take a shine to them.

Cannibalism might or might not remain. I'm still up in the air on it. As for their relationship with the Inquisition, I'm thinking about toning it down massively. They stay on good terms with the Ordo Malleus, have the usual "We don't talk to them" relationship with the Ordo Hereticus, and have a standing grudge with the Ordo Xenos.

 

The examples for the three censures could do with some work, I think. Setting fire to refugee camps? Others have been there and done that. Beheading every single one of them and then displaying the heads on pikes (or simply impaling the lot of them) would be a touch of Vlad the Impaler that I think would fit quite well. An unnecessary and arguably amusing execution of a wanted preacher? Meh. Why would that matter, even if the local authorities got in a tizzy over it? Doing the same to an arguably innocent planetary governor (or someone of at least similar status) would be something a little more interesting, though. Eating a heretic? Okay, this one does sound pretty good but why would the chapter do so? Eating tainted meat is obviously a bad idea and if cannibalism didn't cross the line, chowing down on a little piece of Chaos certainly does, regardless of who has your back.

Mind if I shamelessly carve this idea out and develop it a lot further?

 

The Blood Spectres have no known homeworld. They instead have a Fortress- Monastery, carved from a mighty asteroid found near Anvilus 9. It was carved by the Adeptus Mechancius based upon the specification of a Ramilles- class Starfort, and includes comparable defenses. It bears warp engines of ancient and arcane design which were added later; these engines are somewhat less than reliable, and the Fortress- Monastery barely survived its first jump through the Immaterium to Mars for repair and supply.

Okay, when you say "near Anvilus 9", what exactly do you mean? It can't be in the same planetary system as Anvilus 9, as that is Mechanicus domains. Do you mean it is in the same sub-sector? Also, why add warp engines to it (especially unreliable ones), when the original design was, I assume, STC based? What was the point of making a warp jump to Mars when repair and resupply can be found reasonably easily elsewhere?

Ok, instead of "no known homeworld," how's this: they had one (I'll fill in the location and all that later). It was a feral desert death world. While they were off on crusade, a Xenos threat (Eldar? Hrud?) infested it. The Ordo Xenos in a fit of lazyness decided to just blow up the planet instead of actually trying to salvage it. After all, the Space Marines who once made their home here were missing and presumed dead- even though the Bell of Lost Souls hadn't tolled for them.

 

Their fortress- monastery was carved by the Ad.Mech from a large shard of their original homeworld. After, y'know, the Ordo Xenos blew it up. The reason it had to be fitted with "ancient and arcane" warp engines is because a Ramilles- class starfort doesn't actually have engines. It has to be towed through the Immaterium, while most mobile fortress- monasteries seem to be self- propelled.

 

The Blood Spectres fight using fear itself as a weapon. They make lightning strikes using stormraven gunships and large numbers of assault marines, often armed with melta and flamer weaponry. They will often make use of underhanded tactics to spread increasing fear, such as using communications jammers to broadcast canned screams and images of torture on a planetary scale, poisoning water and food supplies, using scouts to plant demolition charge on key bridges and then detonating them when supply convoys are crossing, and so forth. These tactics appear to connect to one of the chapter's mutations, which is detailed later.

Besides the broadcasting part, none of that paragraph (overtly) has anything to do with terror tactics. Kidnapping, torture, execution of the weak and vulnerable and any other psychological terror tactics would fit much better than guerrilla warfare and lightning strikes. Like I said, if these marines are meant to be the worst the loyalist astartes has to offer, they had better act like it.

Working on it. I like the idea of leaving forests of the impaled in their wake.

 

So let's assume your Librarians can handle themselves. Fair enough. But clouding the Immaterium? Dare I say that sort of jiggery pockery requires quite a lot more power than an astartes Librarian can muster - the sort of power that being in league with the Dark Gods brings. Also, when messing with the warp, stopping daemonic incursions usually means putting a bolt round into a psyker's head or closing a portal already in existence. My recommendation is to drop the passage or rewrite it entirely as it makes little sense.

This part is probably going to get the chainaxe and melta.

 

The whole part on organization also got sliced up, although I had to bring in a titan- sized chainaxe and a volcano cannon. I'm going to see if I can salvage anything- I like the idea of having unspecialized companies, but that means I have trouble working in bikes. Maybe some companies go Tac/Assault and others Tac/Bike, with Devs forming Attack Bike squadrons?

 

Either way, they're still lacking in the Dreadnought department.

 

There is no easy way to say this - the Imperium does not "update" things. Older things are generally seen as better so "updating" something is seen as sacrilege. You might also want to explain why the chapter refuses to wear 'modern' power armour when it is the most abundant system. Getting a hold of a chapter's worth of older gear is not very likely, especially considering astartes wargear gets destroyed sooner or later. It's an inevitability for most items.

One idea is that while they were on Penitent Crusade, they found a supply depot from the Great Crusade, which had been abandoned during the Heresy. They found some samples of Mk.III armor and a couple of overcharged vehicles. It took a while for their Techmarines to reverse engineer everything, but then again they had a lot of time on their hands. The end result was a suit of armor dubbed Mk.IIIc, which attempted to combine the best aspects of Mk.III and Mk.VII in one suit.

 

The chapter's captains, apothecaries, chaplains, librarians, standard bearers, Master of the Forge, and Master of the Fleet are all noted for wearing leather robes made out of flayed human skin. The exact significance of this is not known, however the robes do show tattoos which were placed upon the skins of their victims before their death and flaying.

Alright, for once, this is a paragraph I don't have an issue with. This sounds just right for the image you're going for and it doesn't contradict anything. All it needs is shortening - instead of reeling out rank after rank, it'd be better on the reader for it to be 'officers'.

How about folding the officers into a Deathwing- esque body that includes their equivalent of the Sanguinary Guard, which all wear robes of flayed skin?

 

While the Blood Spectres possess all the organs of a Space Marine's geneseed, there are a few noted mutations. These are far from abnormal when compared to those of the Black Dragons or Minotaurs, but the Inquisition continues to watch them.

 

The Melanchromic Organ only produces white pigments, which give the chapter's battle- bretheren an ashen complexion. The notable exception are the brothers' eyes, which become coal black with no other visible color.

The sounds oddly like the Raven Guard or the Space Sharks. Perhaps you could attempt to somehow distance yourself from these chapters? How about making these mutations affect the astartes in such a way that they are effectively albinos? You know, the whole kit and kaboodle - red irises, wite hair, white skin etc, etc. Does that sound any good?

I added the Raven Guard link. The Ad.Mech and High Lords told them they were a Raven Guard successor, and they were trained by the Raven Guard, but something happened on their Penitent Crusade to make them doubt that. Still need the details of why and wherefore, though. Whatever it was, the chapter leaders went all the way to Mars to try to find out the right, only to discover that the records had been allowed to deteriorate and that the Tech Priests who had unlocked the thrice- sealed vault to obtain their original geneseed culture hadn't been committed into the Other Memory or whatever the Ad.Mech calls it. So they don't obtain any closure to their doubts. They have reason to suspect their geneseed wasn't actually Raven Guard, and discovered the Ad.Mech can neither confirm nor deny it because of typical records failure over two thousand years or so. They only have a third- party account that the specifications of the geneseed "raised eyebrows," and that most of their implants are functioning at a somewhat higher efficiency than their supposed Progenitor's.

 

Maybe they used "vintage stock" from before Corax' attempt at screwing with the geneseed, or maybe the Ad.Mech got to tinkering with it as a prelude to the mad science fair they had in the next founding?

 

Wouldn't it sound more plausible to have a mutation in, say... the Neuroglottis so that they can taste pheromones in the air? So, essentially, they can taste your fear?

I like this one better.

 

So there you have it, those are my comments and criticisms. I hope at least some of it will help.

Some of it did, definitely.

 

I like the name "Impalers," although impaling is something they picked up while off on Crusade. Would a name change tor reflect their new habit be appropriate, like how the Fire Claws eventually became the Relictors?

[Messor]

While I don't think the adoption of even such a terrifying doctrine would warrant a name change, the event on the Crusade that prompted the impaling might.

[Ecritter]

I'll chime in on this one.

 

Cannibalism ... Space Marines have a gland specifically made to gain information from eating the flesh of the enemy (or friends). I tried this before and have no idea why people have such a problem with it. Its part of a Space Marine ... get over it.

[Messor]

I'll chime in on this one.

 

Cannibalism ... Space Marines have a gland specifically made to gain information from eating the flesh of the enemy (or friends). I tried this before and have no idea why people have such a problem with it. Its part of a Space Marine ... get over it.

 

Well I think there's difference between tasting some blood/picking a hunk of viscera off a wall, and having a barbeque of your enemies. What marines do with the Omophagea is not cannibalism, at least not in the grimdark, its learning and tracking. Cannibalism is "Holy :turned: this arm is good, Brother, you've gotta try it."

[Ecritter]

Well I think there's difference between tasting some blood/picking a hunk of viscera off a wall, and having a barbeque of your enemies. What marines do with the Omophagea is not cannibalism, at least not in the grimdark, its learning and tracking. Cannibalism is "Holy :turned: this arm is good, Brother, you've gotta try it."

 

So you're saying you only have a problem with it if someone enjoys it? Making a ritual feast out of it makes it more a ceremonial thing, not a big BBQ party ... so I still don't see the issue. Perhaps you should look up the real acts of ancient cannibals in world history ... you'll find it more ritualistic and less party.

 

For Space Marines flesh is eaten, knowledge is gained .. simple as that.

[Messor]

No, I am not an advocate of any type of cannibalism, ritualistic or otherwise. I'm talking only about cannibalism as it relates to Space Marines. What I understood from your post was that every marine/Chapter is cannibalistic simply by dint of having the Omophagea, and thus it can't be made a characterful part of Chapter and I think that's somewhat of an oversimplification. In this case, where the average marine is not eating flesh because its good or part of any ritual because it will aid him in cleansing and purging and killing, darth_giles' marines are not. Now you would agree that, whether for a ritual or just because it tastes like chicken, this is a an excessive act, no?

[Ace Debonair]

For Space Marines flesh is eaten, knowledge is gained .. simple as that.

 

I pretty much assume this to be done by 99% of DIY chapters, even if they take an hour or two consecrating the thing they're about to eat beforehand.

Some might embrace it more than others, some might disdain the practice, but I'm pretty sure this gets done once in a while per chapter at the very least. ^_^

 

 

Well I think there's difference between tasting some blood/picking a hunk of viscera off a wall, and having a barbeque of your enemies. What marines do with the Omophagea is not cannibalism, at least not in the grimdark, its learning and tracking. Cannibalism is "Holy :cuss this arm is good, Brother, you've gotta try it."

 

I'm now picturing a Chapter in which that line is not uncommon. :blink:

 

No, I am not an advocate of any type of cannibalism, ritualistic or otherwise. I'm talking only about cannibalism as it relates to Space Marines. What I understood from your post was that every marine/Chapter is cannibalistic simply by dint of having the Omophagea, and thus it can't be made a characterful part of Chapter and I think that's somewhat of an oversimplification. In this case, where the average marine is not eating flesh because its good or part of any ritual because it will aid him in cleansing and purging and killing, darth_giles' marines are not. Now you would agree that, whether for a ritual or just because it tastes like chicken, this is a an excessive act, no?

 

Maybe I have my slow brain on, but I have no idea what you just said. :huh:

 

If the marines are eating bits of enemies not for the information value but as part of some tribal/ritual practice to work themselves up for a fight / celebrate a victory, that's plenty cool and awesome enough to work.

 

It's a bit dark, but then again this is 40k, so it's par for the course. :lol:

[Messor]

You're exactly right, Ace. I'm not saying its a bad idea, it works great. I'm just distinguishing run-of-the-mill marine tracking from out-and-out cannibalism.

[Ecritter]

And all I'm saying is this, when you have a natural act for a Space Marines mentioned in an IA why do some people jump on the Cannibalism bandwagon and try to cut it down as disgusting and even call it an act of Chaos?

 

I am not a cannibal, pretty sure I don't know any cannibals ... real sure I don't wanta know any (at least not having them or them having me for dinner). But it is natural for a Space Marine, so if you play a game with Space Marines then you most likely should expect to hear about it from time to time.

[Ace Debonair]

You're exactly right, Ace. I'm not saying its a bad idea, it works great. I'm just distinguishing run-of-the-mill marine tracking from out-and-out cannibalism.

 

I don't want to speak for Ecritter, but he seemed to be more railing against Olisredan's idea that canibalism was going too far for a marine chapter than disagreeing with your point.

 

At least, that's what I got from what he wrote.

 

So yeah, I think we're actually all on the same page here, even if we don't realise it. :huh:

[Messor]

You're exactly right, Ace. I'm not saying its a bad idea, it works great. I'm just distinguishing run-of-the-mill marine tracking from out-and-out cannibalism.

 

I don't want to speak for Ecritter, but he seemed to be more railing against Olisredan's idea that canibalism was going too far for a marine chapter than disagreeing with your point.

 

At least, that's what I got from what he wrote.

 

So yeah, I think we're actually all on the same page here, even if we don't realise it. :huh:

 

Hahaha, it looks like you're right XD.

 

And all I'm saying is this, when you have a natural act for a Space Marines mentioned in an IA why do some people jump on the Cannibalism bandwagon and try to cut it down as disgusting and even call it an act of Chaos?

 

I am not a cannibal, pretty sure I don't know any cannibals ... real sure I don't wanta know any (at least not having them or them having me for dinner). But it is natural for a Space Marine, so if you play a game with Space Marines then you most likely should expect to hear about it from time to time.

 

Sorry Ecritter, looks I completely missed the direction of your post. I have to ask though, do you not think that the eating of flesh can be taken in excess, even Chaotic excess?

 

darth_giles' marines sound more like they're simply indulging in legit cannibalism rather than tracking/gathering intel on the enemy. Since I'm not the one setting out to test the boundaries of evil a loyalist Chapter can visit, I'll only say that some eldar/renegade PDF/cultist spit roast might fit well. But like Olisredan, if factions in the Inquisition got wind of it I think there would be serious consequences. The new direction with the impaling is just as awesome, though, and I imagine that certain Inquisitors and even Ecclsiarchs might not only find it acceptable, but approve of a Chapter showing traitors that destruction isn't the only thing to be concerned about when turning from the Emperor's light.

[Ecritter]

Yes I do think it can be taken too far and become an act of Chaos. Blood Feasts, the overall slaughter and eating the flesh for the enjoyment of it would be one way .... and either fall under either Khorne or Slaanesh.

 

But, eating flesh to gain knowledge as Space Marines are written to do or real-world Cannibalism where the dead are eaten to either celebrate them as worthy enemies or gain (normally their power or spirit) from them ritualistically is not Chaos. Since a lot of Chapters choose homeworlds with tribal backgrounds I'd see this as being a part of the tribe that they originate from. DG's marines seem to fit this model.

[Messor]

Alright, I can dig that. I suppose it will just depend on the tone giles goes for; should be interesting regardless.

[darth_giles]

But, eating flesh to gain knowledge as Space Marines are written to do or real-world Cannibalism where the dead are eaten to either celebrate them as worthy enemies or gain (normally their power or spirit) from them ritualistically is not Chaos. Since a lot of Chapters choose homeworlds with tribal backgrounds I'd see this as being a part of the tribe that they originate from. DG's marines seem to fit this model.

Ok, going to address this post since it hits the closest to where I was aiming for originally. Yes, the idea was that they would eat flesh and blood as part of a ritual sacrament (I actually used that word in the original IA) performed after a victorious campaign, and upon certain other special occasions. That having been said, there was no prohibition on squads or individual battle- brothers performing an impromptu feast using what they had on hand. That was another reason for having upwards of three Apothecaries per company; the Apothecaries were part of the priesthood and were able to consecrate such a meal without needing to go find a Chaplain. Either way, the feasting served a dual role: it was first a celebration with the emperor, and second a way to strike fear into those around them.

 

I'm working on the reworked Impalers version. Got some sketches up, and I'll have some SM Painter stuff up to follow. I'm tempted to keep the ritual cannibalism aspect having seen this discussion, but make it less of a focus compared to other elements.

[fivepointedstar]

Sorry Ecritter, looks I completely missed the direction of your post. I have to ask though, do you not think that the eating of flesh can be taken in excess, even Chaotic excess?

I think Chaos marines are more into eating loyalist gene seed, than having a luau with there corpses. This would be a different story if.. Those loyalist were doing the same thing. :( But cannibalism is nothing new, or shocking for a Space Marines to do. As stated above from others is that it offer's benefits to one eating.

Putting whole city to the stakes, and impaling or disemboweling to prove a point could be seriously frowned upon by the ecclesiarchy. But bloodshed is nothing evil in the eyes of the inquisition as they set whole worlds to burn because one guy got a second thumb for Emprahmas. Your guys would have to be in the same table as pre-heresy Night Lords to get the evil eye from the almighty =I=. But still as long as they don't turn on the loyalist allies, they are OK to rampage as much as they want.

 

Though many Blood Angels Successor Chapters have walked a precarious path between purity and damnation, the Knights of Blood committed so many excesses in the Emperor's name that at the beginning of the 41st Millennium, they were decreed Renegades by the High Lords of Terra, and cast beyond the Emperor's light. This decision came after several centuries of rage-fueled carnage, perpetrated indiscriminately by the Knights of Blood against the Emperor's foes and their Imperial allies alike. - 40K Wiki

- also in the Codex: BA but I'm at work, and do not have access to said holy pages.

 

Above is a wiki quote about the Knights of Blood a Blood Angel successor that took years of total carnage to finally have the Inquisition say " That's it, your in time out forever" :down:. So keep this in mind when your trying to flesh out your chapters terrible personality. As most thing that are shock, and awe.. have been done before.

[darth_giles]

Key ideas. Don't be too bothered if they sound really discombobulated.

 

Pre- founding geneseed specifications "raise eyebrows" amongst the Ad.Mech. Geneseed cultures have to be retrieved from a thrice- sealed vault. Big hassle for all involved.

 

14th Founding chapter, originally told it had Raven Guard geneseed. Trained by Raven Guard veterans.

 

Chapter had a name change upon returning from a penal crusade that was only supposed to last 300 years. They sorta got lost in the Halo Zone; its bloody hard to navigate those ships beyond the light of the Astronomicon. Eventually the whole chapter had been replaced by people who had never seen the Emperor's light, met an Inquisitor, that sort of thing.

 

On the plus side, they did find a cache of pre- heresy arms and armor. Their techmarines had plenty of time (and no Ad.Mech staring over their shoulder) to combine the best aspects of Mk.III and Mk.VII armor into Mk.IIIc "Iron Plus" armor.

 

Chapter suffers massive losses over time as attrition > recruitment. Verge of complete apostacy, a Librarian stops at an abandoned Shrine of the Emperor from the Great Crusade with his Honor Guard. Prays, then pulls out his Emperor's Tarot. Reading says, "Look to your right." Vision of the Emperor appears to all present, in black robes covering gold armor. Tells the Libby to remove some rubble; Libby finds a spear. Emperor tells the Libby of the corruption in the Chapter Master's heart, orders a purge of the bulk of the chapter. Emperor then gives a cryptic message about the Chapter's geneseed before vanishing.

 

Purge wipes out about 2/3 of the chapter's remaining strength. The impure who aren't immediately killed, are skewered in the chapel and left to die. Vision of the Emperor re- appears to the chapter, gives the surviving Chaplain the script for a rite of feasting "with him" on the flesh and blood of their vanquished foes, then reveals the Light of the Astronomicon to the Librarians. Chapter is able to make its way home now.

 

Chapter returns to the Imperium, stops off at an Inquisition fortress to drop off some warp-tainted artifacts they'd seized over their crusade. Ordo Malleus happy to see them, sorta shrug off the name change to "Impalers." They're probably elated that a Space Marine chapter was actually turning over warp- tainted artifacts instead of trying to hold onto them. *cough*Relictors*cough*

 

Impalers try to visit its homeworld, discovers that in its absence a Xenos threat (still not sure what) had taken up in the chapter's Fortress- Monastery. Ordo Xenos chose to blow up the world rather than send the Deathwatch in to clean the place up.

 

Impalers arrive on Mars, try to clear up what the issue is with their geneseed. Impaler implants shown to be functioning at higher efficiency than their progenitor chapter's own current implants. Visit to the archives shows that bookworms got into the records and ate that chapter away, and the tech priests who oversaw the selection of the chapter's original geneseed culture were never committed into the Ad.Mech Other Memory. No closure on whether or not they really are a Raven Guard successor. "Fear- tasting" mutation discovered, declared "within tolerances" although Apothecaries told to watch closely for further mutation.

 

Ad.Mech, with authorization from the Highlords, carves the chapter a fortress- monastery out of the largest available fragment of their homeworld. F-M fitted on par with a self- propelled Ramilles- class starfort. Chapter resupplied, but recruiting slow.

 

Impalers' new tactics based on fear tactics during M.37 reorganization. Planetary comms jamming with screams and live torture feeds, use of flamers over other special weapons, use of chain-spears and power lances instead of more conventional weaponry, those too weak to fight them are often set on fire and/or impaled. Overcharged vehicles bring assault troops to the front quicker when jump packs not practical. Innocent bystanders tend to find themselves skewered on whatever poles are available if not enough impaling spears on hand. "Forest of the Impaled" incident draws ire of various factions (BA, Smurfs, Thorians?) but fails to result in serious action.

 

Ministorum has issues with chapter's victory feast of human/xenos flesh. One of the scouts' coming up to him and nearly licking him with the comment of, "Your fear tastes delicious" doesn't help. Ministorm threatens to cut off the chapter's rosarii; the scout in question is punished but the chapter doesn't stop its ritual cannibalism. If nothing else, it seems to encourage them to start doing impromptu feasts on the battlefield. Hom nom nom.

 

Need history after M.37 and later. Major battles, campaigns fought, that stuff. Also need stuff from mid M.34 thru the end of M.35, and whatever it was that pissed off somebody. Maybe Vanidre had an angry?

 

Chapter's armor colors before the M.37 reorganization:

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v245/darth_giles/Blood%20Angels/Pre_M37_zps0b726de3.jpg

 

Some notes on Mk.IIIc armor, chapter iconography, and so forth. Please excuse my horrible sketching.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v245/darth_giles/Blood%20Angels/Sketch_0001_zps646486ce.png