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IA: Sons of Morr V2.0


Brother_Kovasir

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The Sons of Morr Space Marines Chapter

“We are the Shield of the People, Sword of the Emperor!”

 

 

 

-Founding-

“At the time of a test, a person rises or falls”

-Kalaafir Proverb.

 

In the latter half of M41 the Imperium of Man has found itself pressured once more towards another founding. With increased Ork activity in the greater Imperium and xenos pushing at the lines on all fronts the High Lords of Terra approved a 26th founding. Among the Chapters borne at that time was the Sons of Morr lead by Anthoria; a revered Captain of the Salamanders chapter.

 

The name of the brooding chapter was the pinnacle in its founding. Anthoria, along with several of his brothers from the Salamanders spent some time, in fact it was rumored somewhere near a terran year, with a host of Emperor Tarots meditating. Although not everything is known about what was said during this meditation, what is known is they were given name by the tarot and a sector in which to find their home;Segmentum Pacificus, Sector Althrax.

 

Wasting no time the small group made its way into the sector searching for their new home. After 6 terran months of searching subsector by subsector they felt as though they had found their world. A small planet with sprawling mountains and volcanoes which reminded them of their own home world of Nocturne. The people broken up into small warring clans which would provide them with excellent recruits. On the verge of declaring this their home they received a plea for help.

 

Some two sectors to the Galactic North a planet was crying for help as a horde of pirates raided their planet; slavers. Being the closest Imperial Force, this small cadre of 10 men made haste to help where they could. Upon arriving they found themselves heavily outgunned. Armed only with their gifted Strike Cruiser, the Hammer of Wrath, they knew if they were to fight against the numerous Cobra Class Destroyers they would quickly be turned into space dust.

 

They used their sudden appearance in the planetary system to their advantage. Quickly they broke enemy lines and descend upon the planet, sending Hammer of Wrath to a nearby system to await further instruction. Each marine took charge of a cohort of regulars and began their war with the Space Pirate McGullen and his band. Within only a few days they had changed the tide of war on the planet and quickly regained control of the planetary defense systems with the help of the local militias.

 

After a few months of hard fighting the Pirates were made to abandon any prospects of capturing more civilians for slave and were forced to retreat from the planet suffering heavy losses. The people of this planet were to hold their victors a mighty festival in their honour. However the festival fell short when word of their names were whispered to the public. The Sons of Morr, who mere days earlier were the mighty victors, found themselves victim of silence and whispered praise from the people of the planet.

 

To the surprise of the Astartes, Morr was a god upon this planet; The Right hand of the Emperor, The lord of Death and Destruction within their adaptation of Imperial religion. Anthoria knew that very moment they had found the planet they had searched for and made it the fledgling chapters home world, declaring the divine Emperor wished it so.

 

 

-Homeworld-

The world of Kalawab (call-UH-wab) is large Desert Death world with few accommodations for supporting life other than optimal oxygen levels. The planet houses two continents surrounding by one body of water. However, the water is so rich with salts and other minerals found on the planet that it is absolutely toxic to the inhabitants of the planet. The temperatures on the surface range as low as -10C during the nights to a blazing ~45C during the days. As a result a good deal of the population hide during the day in manmade caves and structures.

 

The planets sparse water resources leaves its inhabitants of some 11 million souls constantly fighting for water. There are, on this planet some few thousand water holes that can be found throughout its sprawling desert terrain. Most of which are heavily fortified positions supporting cities with great domes that shield them from the harsh desert. These cities normally support 500k persons. However due to their small size there is normally a great deal of fighting internally. As a result these cities often change hands from one clan or body of government to another on a regular basis.

 

The planet is also plagued by sandstorms that can last for decades and can cover upwards to 10% of the total land. These great storms cause absolute havoc on machines that attempt to operate in them due to their insane electrical interference. So powerful can the static charge in the air be inside these storms it has been recorded on several occasions people have electrocuted when brushing upon another soul. This, of course, is assuming that they are not eaten alive by the millions of particles of sand trying to rub the skin of their bone.

 

There is a small population that survive outside of these domed cities known as the Kalaafir (ka-LAA-fear), or desert wanderers. These nomadic people rarely fight each other however are stuck in an endless war against the desert and the creatures which prey upon them within it. They often reside in man made caves within the great dunes of the planet called Seitchs. These safe havens house anywhere from 10-30k Kalaafir and only a handful of the thousands have been mapped.

 

 

-Recruitment and Training-

“Almost any boy can be turned into a Astartes, its finding one that is worthy of such a title that is hard.”

-Inaos Rothilde, Master of Recruits

 

The chapter has gone through many revisions in their recruitment process. Originally requiring that the Kalaafir give their first born son to the chapter in honour of their victorious defense of the planet. Only 15 years later they began hand selecting their new aspirants. They soon opted for a worldwide series of ‘games’ be held and have since used this method for recruitment except for the most dire of situations.

 

The games that the children participate in are a series of trials derived from local myths and tests built by the Chapter’s Master of Recruits and High Chaplain to insure the potential neophyte is worthy of the gifts of the chapter. The chapter is by far more concerned with the worthiness of the recruit then actual brute strength. These games normally take place during the first days of summer solstice in huge arenas and last for anywhere from 1-2 months.

 

On average the games will hold 200-300 contestants all fighting to become an Adeptus Astartes and Servant to Morr, one of the highest honours that can be bestowed upon them. Of these contestants a mere fraction will be victorious and be taken to Strebenguard to be trained.

 

Immediately upon arriving at Sterbenguard, home of the Sons of Morr, the initiate begins his journey to Neophyte-Dom. Like most other chapters, the Sons of Morr pick their candidates young, normally at the age of 10 for the best possible results during the following 10 years of becoming an Astartes. The normal progression being 1 year of training followed by 6 months of surgery and 6 months of recovery. This process is repeated until the initiate is 20 years old. If the initiate makes it this far he will undergo his last two trials before obtaining the title of Neophyte and Adeptus Astartes.

 

The first of the two trials is based off an old myth regarding the first of the Kalaafir. It is said that he was lost in the desert for several months. So the initiate is thrown into the desert with the same supplies as the first Kalaafir; a dagger, enough food and water to last a few days and a cloak. the initiate is to use his skills learned and return to the Sterbenguard half a continent away. Should the initiate survive he will find himself in their last test. The test which claims more initiates than any other.

 

The initiate is put under a hypnosis-state induced by a chapter librarian. In this state his will tested, his honour stretched, his nightmares realized. The librarian shows them their fears which they must overcome. He will test their loyalty to the chapter and sanity in battle. Almost a quarter of their initiates will fail this test and be executed. Not because their disloyalty but because many will go insane after such tests; the chapter not willing to convert their lost into servitors, seeing them as a disgrace to life.

 

 

-Combat History & Doctrine-

The combat doctrine of the Sons of Morr is an ever evolving doctrine. Originally the brooding chapter opted for similar tactics of that of their forefathers, the Salamanders, making use of melta and flamers. This brought them close to their opponents and thusly the chapter used ambush and raiding tactics to turn the foes of the Imperium of Man into a smoldering pile of ashes.

 

Due to the nature of the weaponry and the fact they had to be so close to their enemy they often deployed assault troops to follow up after their initial barrage of meltas and flamers to great success. Often these troops wouldn’t even have jump packs and instead would charge in on foot due to the lack of supplies. This worked incredibly well for some while against a great number of foes.

 

These tactics proved incredibly effective during their initial participation in the 3rd War for Armageddon. Their lightning quick night raids on the orks proved incredibly effective time and time again. However their use of assault troops did not. The sheer number of Orks would, more often than not, simply overrun their assault troops. Soon the chapter adopted a new tactic for their meltas and flamers. Replacing their assault troops with heavy support devastator squads sitting far behind and using the initial attack to bait the dim-witted Orks into yet another ambush. Effectively melting, cover fire, retreat and lastly repeat.

 

The young chapter still makes heavy use of flamers and meltas in their doctrine, a remnant of their forebears. However they have been for the last 100 years slowing moving towards heavier devastator squads, removing themselves from the front lines. This is mostly due to their interaction with traitor marines during the Fall of Kalawab.

 

 

-History-

-Fall of Kalawab-

*To be added Shortly*

 

 

-Organization-

The organization of the Sons of Morr has remained largely unchanged from its time of conception. The most notable change in its hierarchy is the upper echelon of command; the fact that the chapter has been lead by its Head Chaplain for nearly 125 years. Aside from this the upper command of the Chapter is lead by an inner circle made up of the chapters most senior staff, as is normal with most chapters.

 

The organization of the individual companies has changed a bit as well. Each company within the chapter operates as its own fighting force and is lead by a Marshal.The structure of the individual companies normally is as follows:

 

1x Marshal (Captain)

1x Speaker of Morr (Chaplain)

1x Whisperer of Morr (Librarian)

1x Command Squad

 

1x Elites Squad

 

4x Tactical Squads

1x Scouts Squad

 

2x Devastator Squad

 

1x Assault Squad

 

Keeping in mind that this deviates here and there from company to company. Effectively every company is a battle company. This has allowed the Chapter to take on multiple threats at any given time and increase their overall effectiveness as every company is an active battle company. Generally, once an astartes has been given a company they will not transfer to another. However, on occasions companies who’ve finished their conquest or mission will gift and sometimes give squads to another company whose in active battle.

 

 

-Cult-

The Cult of Morr played a rather large part in the chapter’s history; from founding to current. The fact that their name was given to them by Tarots prior to venturing to the world on which the Morthian Cult reside has been acknowledge as the divine presence of the Emperor by the Sons of Morr and many others. The Kalawabians have regarded the sudden appearance of the chapter and their name as a message from the Gods. In fact the chapters cult plays such a part in the organization of the chapter that every squad has a lesser chaplain known as a warden. Wardens are noted as having black right hands.

 

The Morthian Cult is a death cult from the world of Kalawab and it is not the only cult of the planet. Infact there is another cult on the world known as the Cult of Vittas, the cult of life. These two cults live in peace with one another as it is believed that they work in harmony. It should also be noted that only men are allowed to participate in the rituals of the Morthian Cult. Likewise only women can participate in the rituals of the Vittasian Cult. The general view on Kalawab is that women embody life, hence why Vittasian cult only allows woman.

 

The general practices of the chapter’s cult are generally very secretive. However on numerous occasions the Sons of Morr have been seen taking a large device with them onto their fields of glory called a ‘Deathstill’. A tool used to extract the water from the dead. This water is, presumably brought back to the chapters homeworld as a trophy.

 

The Morthian Cult hasn’t gone unchanged over the last 300 years. In fact it has gone through a good bit of change, mostly the influence of the Promethean Cult brought by the founders of the chapter. Most notable changes in the cult is the teaching of self sacrifice and the veneration of Vulkan. Furthermore the Morthian cult has adopted the use of fire in its rituals, believing it cleanses the soul.

 

 

-Geeneseed-

The Geneseed of the chapter remains fairly similar to that of the Salamanders Chapter. While still being as pure as their forefathers the chapter has noticed some faults within the Geneseed. Perhaps a fault of a tampering hand by the Adeptus Mechanicus or simply poorly selected stock. Regardless the chapter suffers from a Oversensitive Occulobe implant.

 

This results in better than average night vision however they suffer greatly during daylight situations. This defect causes their eyes to glow with a blue tone though this is purely superficial. As a result the chapter is rarely seen during the day and instead prefer night operations. Furthermore the chapter’s Melanchromic Organ suffers another defect which causes their skin to come out a pasty white. Effectively a visual opposite of their forefathers.

 

 

-Battlecry-

“We are the Shield of the People, Sword of the Emperor!” - Chapter Master Anthoria

“In the Name of Morr!”

“Honor the Victorious Dead!”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

EDIT: I've taken some input and decided I should first do the IA then, when the IA is complete I will go back through and create the stories as to avoid rewriting them over and over. (Thanks Octavulg!) Please tear this one apart C&C away guys!

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This is the beginning of what I hope to be a 10 part series delving into every aspect of the Son's of Morr.

Sons. Not Son's. Son's is "belonging to the son".

*Note: Due to the size of each Section I've put them into spoilers as to avoid a wall of text when all is done.*

Have you considered an outline over a really lengthy story? I ask simply because if you want to change one thing, that can lead to a lot of rewriting. Outlines avoid all that rewriting.

Of course the High lords of Terra sanctioned their creation as they did all of the chapters since the 2nd founding.

Then you really don't need to tell us about it, do you?

Now what is particularly interesting about this chapter is their name.

Don't tell the reader how to feel about something.

When his men traveled to this sector they found only one inhabited planet, Mortas Prime.

Unlikely. Sectors are huge (and, to some extent, defined by what's in them).

 

* * *

 

Not bad. I prefer the more traditional IA format just because I think you get a lot more information across in a much shorter period. But what you're doing isn't too bad. Your writing could be more polished, but practice helps with that.

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Why is their spoiler tabs for your IA?

I like the concept or the crossover from WH Fantasy to WH40K. I myself have done the same with my Blood Dragons.

And the second part of you IA seems to be more of a story. I could see this of better use in the Librarium where there are other short stories. The liber is a place mainly to discover, and record the chapters created by members.

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Why is their spoiler tabs for your IA?

I like the concept or the crossover from WH Fantasy to WH40K. I myself have done the same with my Blood Dragons.

And the second part of you IA seems to be more of a story. I could see this of better use in the Librarium where there are other short stories. The liber is a place mainly to discover, and record the chapters created by members.

On the contrary, an IA is far from the only way to provide exposition on a Chapter. If the exclusive purpose of a story is to explain the Chapter, it certainly has a purpose in the Liber. If the story was simply to detail a battle, or give depth to a character, at that point it leans more towards the interests of the Black Library.
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Sons. Not Son's. Son's is "belonging to the son".

Fixed. Dont know how that ' got in there... msn-wink.gif

Have you considered an outline over a really lengthy story? I ask simply because if you want to change one thing, that can lead to a lot of rewriting. Outlines avoid all that rewriting.

I have, and actually use them. A few friends, along with myself look over each outline and discuss portions of it before I commit it and review, rewrite, review, rewrite and submit. Haha! Aside from that, I dont mind the rewriting portion; in part I enjoy it as it helps me practice my writing.

Then you really don't need to tell us about it, do you?

I suppose I should have mentioned that this was written hastily and with Morgan Freedman's voice in my head. Could you see a way of trying to convey this, that is that a person is speaking their mind more than the author writing down scribbles and notes?

Don't tell the reader how to feel about something.

Yea when I wrote that out I felt there was something wrong. I knew I was breaking a rule however I couldn't remember what that said rule was. Will fix in due time; thanks for pointing it out. msn-wink.gif

Unlikely. Sectors are huge (and, to some extent, defined by what's in them).

Huh? Whoops! I meant to put solar system not sector. Fixed!

Not bad. I prefer the more traditional IA format just because I think you get a lot more information across in a much shorter period. But what you're doing isn't too bad. Your writing could be more polished, but practice helps with that.

Agreed on the writing bit. As for the format I think it to be interesting seeing as how I have only read a handful of DIY chapters who presented it in such a fashion.

Why is their spoiler tabs for your IA?

This...

*Note: Due to the size of each Section I've put them into spoilers as to avoid a wall of text when all is done.*

On the contrary, an IA is far from the only way to provide exposition on a Chapter. If the exclusive purpose of a story is to explain the Chapter, it certainly has a purpose in the Liber. If the story was simply to detail a battle, or give depth to a character, at that point it leans more towards the interests of the Black Library.

What he said.
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  • 4 weeks later...

Hmmm.... Where to begin?

The Founding story is rather dubious.

The SoM are founded to deal with Orks and other xenos (btw, I don't understand why was important to talk about Orks separate from other filthy xenos.) and then Anthoria walks away to Emperor-knows where. Moreover, we don't know how exactly is the Founding done, so there is too much premises and assumptions in the arrival at Kalawab.

Call it Kalawab from the onset and not 'this planet'.

Homeworld

Too much exact figures, honestly. And further down it's becoming even worse. Second, the Imperium doesn't like internal wars, it's bad for economy.

They often reside in man made caves within the great dunes of the planet called Seitchs.

This is the place where I caught the wind of Frank Herbert's Dune... it wasn't pleasant. Also, unless I'm mistaken, "dune" is hill of sand. You know, that crumbly thing.

The chapter has gone through many revisions in their recruitment process. *blah blah blah* Of these contestants a mere fraction will be victorious and be taken to Strebenguard to be trained.

Too wordy for what it actually says.

Neophyte marks marine in the middle of transformation process, ie. without full set of Astartes-organs. Initiate is marine, who has completed the aforementioned process. So, yeah.ermm.gif

If the initiate makes it this far he will undergo his last two trials before obtaining the title of Neophyte and Adeptus Astartes.

Do you know, why are here these trials? In order to not waste the precious gene-seed on the unworthy.geek.gif

These tactics proved incredibly effective during their initial participation in the 3rd War for Armageddon.

Good thing the Salamanders didn't fight on Armageddon... Oh, wait?!?ohmy.png

The organization of the Sons of Morr has remained largely unchanged from its time of conception.

Which means they are Codex-adherent Chapter....

The most notable change in its hierarchy is the upper echelon of command; the fact that the chapter has been lead by its Head Chaplain for nearly 125 years.

Why?

Effectively every company is a battle company.
Why? The Salamanders are largely Codex adherent.

This has allowed the Chapter to take on multiple threats at any given time and increase their overall effectiveness as every company is an active battle company.

The bold part is false.

The Kalawabians have regarded the sudden appearance of the chapter and their name as a message from the Gods.

There is only one God and he is not God.happy.png

In fact the chapters cult plays such a part in the organization of the chapter that every squad has a lesser chaplain known as a warden.

Why? and How?

The general practices of the chapter’s cult are generally very secretive.

Translation: Author has no idea what these practices are.

However on numerous occasions the Sons of Morr have been seen taking a large device with them onto their fields of glory called a ‘Deathstill’. A tool used to extract the water from the dead. This water is, presumably brought back to the chapters homeworld as a trophy.

This reference is as subtle as sledgehammer. Hint: not at all.

*+*+*+*

Overall:

This article suffers from simple fact; you talk without actually having something to talk about. A common problem in DIY and honestly, some people don't understand this simple maxim even after several attempts.rolleyes.gif

So my suggestion would be: *create* the Cult of Morr with all its shine and then build Chapter around it.

~NightrawenII

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“At the time of a test, a person rises or falls”

Duh.

 

Something less obvious would be good.

In the latter half of M41 the Imperium of Man has found itself pressured once more towards another founding. With increased Ork activity in the greater Imperium and xenos pushing at the lines on all fronts the High Lords of Terra approved a 26th founding. Among the Chapters borne at that time was the Sons of Morr lead by Anthoria; a revered Captain of the Salamanders chapter.

That sounds like a girl's name.

The name of the brooding chapter was the pinnacle in its founding. Anthoria, along with several of his brothers from the Salamanders spent some time, in fact it was rumored somewhere near a terran year, with a host of Emperor Tarots meditating. Although not everything is known about what was said during this meditation, what is known is they were given name by the tarot and a sector in which to find their home;Segmentum Pacificus, Sector Althrax.

If you're going to have their name be mysterious, do it properly. Talk about it. Don't just say "oh yeah, the Tarot was there."

 

Also, a sector feels quite specific. The Tarot should surely be vaguer than that.

To the surprise of the Astartes, Morr was a god upon this planet; The Right hand of the Emperor, The lord of Death and Destruction within their adaptation of Imperial religion. Anthoria knew that very moment they had found the planet they had searched for and made it the fledgling chapters home world, declaring the divine Emperor wished it so.

I'd include a sidebar listing other meanings of Morr elsewhere in the galaxy, just to add some ambiguity as to whether this is really Emperor-vision or just Space Marines being delusional.

The world of Kalawab (call-UH-wab) is large Desert Death world with few accommodations for supporting life other than optimal oxygen levels. The planet houses two continents surrounding by one body of water. However, the water is so rich with salts and other minerals found on the planet that it is absolutely toxic to the inhabitants of the planet. The temperatures on the surface range as low as -10C during the nights to a blazing ~45C during the days. As a result a good deal of the population hide during the day in manmade caves and structures.

Don't give things in modern units, and don't give us pronunciations.

-Recruitment and Training-

“Almost any boy can be turned into a Astartes, its finding one that is worthy of such a title that is hard.”

-Inaos Rothilde, Master of Recruits

I really like the quote, but the rest of the section seem too detailed.

The organization of the Sons of Morr has remained largely unchanged from its time of conception. The most notable change in its hierarchy is the upper echelon of command; the fact that the chapter has been lead by its Head Chaplain for nearly 125 years.

Why?

The organization of the individual companies has changed a bit as well. Each company within the chapter operates as its own fighting force and is lead by a Marshal.The structure of the individual companies normally is as follows:

Dull and obvious (the actual organization). Why have the companies change, either? If you want to be weird, do something that derives more from how the Salamanders do things.

-Battlecry-

“We are the Shield of the People, Sword of the Emperor!” - Chapter Master Anthoria

“In the Name of Morr!”

“Honor the Victorious Dead!”

Why have THREE? Pick one, man.

 

* * *

 

You need to work on your writing. There's a lot of typos, missing apostrophes, awkward grammar, time spent on minor points while major ones are neglected...

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