IA: Arc Knights

[Dirus]

INDEX ASTARTES: ARC KNIGHTS

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Chapter Symbol

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Color Scheme

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"Strike Swift! Aim true! Leave the enemy no quarter!"

-Cedric Velwyn, Knight Banneret

T

he Arc Knights are part of the 23rd Founding of the 37th Millennium, known as the Sentinel Founding as it was created to aid the Imperium's defenses in numerous ill-starred and vulnerable areas of the galaxy. Just beyond The Veiled Region of the Segmentum Tempestus, a distress signal was intercepted calling for help against the "Shadow across the Warp" and that if it wasn't stopped, it would endanger the sector. The High Lords of Terra then solemnly decree the founding of The Arc Knights. These knights set out on their quest with their own fleet, compromising of the Battle Barge Excelion and two Retribution-Class Battleships: The Radiant Bulwark and Song of Swords.

On the rim of the vastly uncharted Veiled Region, the Arc Knights suddenly encountered a warp anomaly that took the entirety of their Fleet. All contact was lost to the Imperium that day, as even the great Astronomican on Holy Terra was out of reach. The bell of lost souls on toll yet again as another chapter was thought to be claimed by the Warp.

This was not the end of the Arc Knights however, this was merely the beginning of their quest.

Their fleet miraculously get through the warp anomaly unscathed. With their position unknown, and there being an interference with any communication anywhere, they make for the nearest planet. As the Thunderhawks made their approach, the planet they were heading towards resembled earth in her earlier years. The blue and green color of the planet from a far was a rare sight in the galaxy. As the Thunderhawks closed in for landing, the unmistakable Medieval-Gothic architecture tell that this Imperial planet could have been where the distress signal originated from.

The Arc Knights 1st company now disembark from their Thunderhawks, finding themselves greeted by cheering crowds and merriment. There was much confusion to the Arc Knights as the people of this planet seemed to have been welcoming old heroes that had made their long-awaited return. A parade was held throughout the whole kingdom for the Arc Knights as they made their way to the kingdom's castle. Greeted with just as much warmth, The Arc Knights meet the Queen of the planet Nia, Cieska Lacris. She gives answers all their inquiries and later explains to them that a smaller heresy-era fleet of Imperial Fists had arrived the same way they did a few thousand years ago. Their progenitor chapter helped the planet reach its Golden Age as they governed over Nia. The land knew peace of prosperity during their rule; up until the Xenos appeared. The Imperial Fists make their valiant stand and drove the vile xenos and their grotesque void ships back. Though, in hoping to deliver the final blow, they were caught in the FTL jump drive the xenos had used to escape. With much sadness, those Sons of Dorn had not made it back ever since.

As her story finishes, Cieska leads Grand Cross Artorias and his chapter's high command to an ancient vault nestled deep underneath House Lacris' Castle. Each of the 18 foot doors had the symbol of the Imperial Fists. It was clear that whatever the vault contained, it wasn't for the eyes of common men. A well kept secret, passed on through the generations among House Lacris, it was told that in these doors would open to those worthy. As Artorias approaches the doors, a scanning beam goes through goes through him from head to toe. With a slight pause as the scanning ends, a robotic voice utters: "Adeptus Astartes signature recognized. Arc Knights. Unlocking doors."

The doors now slowly slide open, depressurizing with hisses of cold and stale air from inside the vault. As they venture inside, they discover many of their progenitor chapter's relics and archeotech. From Mk III and Mk IV power armor, to rare patterns of bolters. It would be safe to say that this was the contingency plan of the meticulous siege masters of Dorn. The vast corridor of the vault had a controls console at its very end, and near it, an impressive weapon container. The weapon's figure could not be fully seen, as it looked to have been in some sort of stasis inside its container. Artorias calls for the Forgesmith Marston Asher to see what the console had in store.

After a few minutes operating the console, Brother Marston reports that this is quite the treasure they've chanced upon. Brother Marston soon finds coordinates of a larger munitions vault not far from the castle. Artorias replies only to ask what of the weapon container, clearly showing that he is somewhat drawn to it. Brother Marston quickly presses a few buttons and the container soon opens. Raising the cylindrical case connected to the ceiling, revealed an awe inspiring sight.

It was an ancient power sword that shared the very same form as the Arc Knights' chapter symbol. A two-handed power sword that had a complete iron halo as its cross. Before approaching to claim the sword, Artorias looks to his brothers for their affirmation. All of his brother answer in unison with a respectful nod. Artorias grips the handle and the bracing clamps snap in release of it. He lays the sword down in both of his hands to read the engraved name: Arcturus.

It was made clear that their arrival on Nia was not a chanced encounter. Destiny had paved a clear path for the Arc Knights' fate.

Along with the Blessing of Queen Cieska, the Arc Knights now lay claim Nia as their Homeworld.

The time for celebration came to an end as the Arc Knights make preparations for the inevitable Xenos attack. What little defense the feudal world had, they would stand along their new lords. Armed with only their plate armor, swords and auto weapons, The Knights of Nia will give their lives and along with the Astartes. The Arc Knights did not stop them from doing so, for they understand that it is a matter of honor to give your life for the Imperium as well as your Homeworld. Those who shed their blood along side the Arc Knights are their brothers, for in the Imperium, the shedding blood is a tithe that must be paid.

The Arc Knights don't know when or where the xenos will attack, but they will be ready to defend their homeworld down to the last man.

The 7th Week

The final week of this battle was where the Arc Knights suffered the heaviest losses. Laid seeded underneath a mountain, a gigantic winged xenos emerged from the underground. Resembling the mythological Dragon form tales of old, this xenos beast dominated the land and skies of Nia, wreaking havoc as it burnt and destroyed its way through the little defenses the planet had. It could not be dealt with so easily as even Lascannons would simply bounce off the impenetrable Warp Field protecting it.

Cieska along with Artorias make a final effort to slay the xenos beast. She tells him that she has seen this beast in her dreams, and that with himself wielding Arcturus, she believes with her heart that they can defeat it. It was a tough decision to lay both his life and his Queen for even a slight chance to defeat the xenos beast. Artorias realizes that there isn't any other option but to fight. Impossible as it seemed, he dutifully put his faith in the God Emperor.

With utmost haste, Artorias assembles his cavalry-command squad along with Queen Cieska and make their way towards the xenos beast. As the cavalry charges in, the xenos beast swoops in to breath its Warp Fire that decimated many of the Arc Knights. The cavalry was completely eaten by the black flame for a moment but then suddenly bursts out of it unharmed. Cieska nullified the psychic powers of the beast and now was the most opportune time to strike.

Before the beast finished its swooping run, the Cavalry-Command Squad fire their graviton guns into the beast. The graviton gun use makes up for its short range as it turns your enemies armor against itself. The shots connect and crushes the beasts chitinous armor plates into its soft flesh. Now grounded and a bloodied, the beast was vulnerable. As they make their charge to finish it off, the xenos beast welcomes them with a stronger torrent of Warp Fire. Cieska still manages to nullify it, but not for long. It had taken a toll on her as the beast's psychic power was too strong.

Only Artorias and Cieska manage to survive the beast's enraged attack, and only barely. Cieska musters all of her remaining strength to nullify the Warp Field as Artorias charges on foot towards the beast. With blocks of his storm shield, and a quick riposte, Artorias drives Arcturus through the beast's brain, digging deep and finishing it a twist of his blade. Now taking it's toll from the warp fire, both Artorias and his queen fall to the ground, successfully slaying it.

The heroic sacrifice of both Grand Cross Artorias and Queen Cieskawill be forever remembered, as they live on in the hearts of the people of Nia. Without them, their homeworld would have fallen.

The beginning of the Ignis Crusade

"Darkness will never prevail against the Emperor's light!"
- Artorias Bereton, 1st Grand Cross

M

onths of preparation pass by, the Xenos make their arrival in a bigger force compared to before. The Arc Knights make their solemn oath to finish the Xenos in honor of their fallen Imperial Fist brethren. Their fleet unleash a furious volley of imperial might that tore straight through the ranks of the Xenos ships.The Xenos would not let themselves be defeated so easily however. The lesser damaged xenos ships started separating and plummeted towards the Arc Knight homeworld. From the debris that landed, the Xenos swarmed out in relentless hordes, destroying everything in their path. The fight for their homeworld was to be continued on it's very soil. The Xenos bio-forms ranged from smaller, agile creatures that had scythes for arms, to hulking behemoths that could easily crush an astartes rhino with its massive claws. The Xenos now show their face to the Arc Knights, a face they will be sure to never forget.

The battle for Nia lasted for several weeks as they purged the xenos off their Homeworld. Many brave Knights fell in defense of their beloved homeworld, as Astartes and Nian Knights all bled alike. The Arc Knights found victory against the xenos horde as they found the chink in its armor. The smaller xenos relied on the larger ones for its commands, and without them, the smaller xenos would be left in a mindless disarray. This weakness was found by the legendary Slayer Squad Falk as they charged into the center of a horde, cleaving their way through the swarm to eliminate the larger creatures.

Many Arc Knights pay the ultimate price as they fought and gave their lives for their homeworld.

As victory for the Battle of Nia was had, there was little time to celebrate or mourn. As soon as Artorias had slain the xenos dragon, it seemed to have triggered a warp anomaly, a sight that was all to familiar to the Brothers of the Arc Knights. It shared the same similarities as what brought the them to Nia. The sheer scale of it was so massive that it could be seen through the skies, fully covering the planet in a calming and serene light, reminiscent of the aurora borealis.

As soon as the lights disappeared, there was much confusion as to what truly happened. The Arc Knights check their coordinates and are surprised to find out the planet's position was changed. Nia now nestled itself in the middle of Segmentum Tempestus. There are many theories on how the planet managed to make it through the warp without any gellar field protection. It is common belief among the people of Nia that it was their Queen's power that protected the whole planet from the Immaterium. As the warp has many random occurrences, the answer can never be truly known. The people still believe that if their queen could defy the great dragon with her powers, so too could she defy the warp.

Even in their grievous condition, Arc Knights quickly send word to Terra of the Xenos they have defeated and warn the Imperium of this threat.

However, It was all too late as millennia had already passed.

Tyran had already fallen.

The Imperium had given their arch-enemy a name in memory of that planet: Tyranids.

Roan Vires, 2nd Grand Cross

Just as nebulae must collapse to birth a star.
Know this pain, this loss, and this sacrifice.

This collapse.

That day was not our destruction.

It was our birth.

T

he Arc Knights currently continue on their Ignis Crusade they started during the Battle for Nia. Even though numbering less than 300 Astartes, they fight in many battles aiding all Imperial allies against their Tyranid arch-enemies. The Arc Knights' efforts to restore their effective chapter strength will take some time, as only nian-born are strictly allowed to be aspirants in the Schola Progenium. Low-born or Noble, every family must pay a tithe of at least one male child to the Chapter. Success stories of families who had nothing to their name but then had a son that became an Astartes seek to inspire the people. Families that have sons that serve the Arc Knights are made sure to be given a befitting social class, with their living needs taken care of. There are, of course, females wishing to serve and give their lives to the Imperium. While not required, young girls with aptitude are sent to the neighboring shrine world, Ophellia VII, to also study in the progena of the Adepta Sororitas. The families of these girls are also given a befitting social rank, as it is known that becoming an Adepta Sororitas is no simple feat. Close ties with Ophellia VII were forged as Nia trades many of its goods to the shrine world.

Through the archives of information about the Tyranids, no records show any sightings of the hive fleet the Arc Knights had encountered. As every hive fleet is named, The Arc Knights too give the tyranids they fought a befitting name: Nemesis. With further study of the Tyranid infestation, the question that it could have been a mere tendril that the Arc Knights had defeated, begs to be asked. Whether they halted Nemesis' advance, or just simply just bought more time; their victory is what mattered. Where some chapter's would have met their gruesome end, the Arc Knights truly had a larger role to fulfill to the Imperium.

The Arc Knights ensure the readiness of their chapter as they make thorough their study of the Tyranids. Much was to be known about the Tyranids, and their effort for their study was advanced the corpses of Hive Fleet Nemesis yielded substantial information. The sampling of Nemesis and other Hive Fleets had shown that though there are similarities, a strong rejection of the nemesis samples from the newer hive fleets could be the key to defeat the Tyranids at their own biological level. While it may not be the key to the Tyranid eradication, it is definitely a step in the right direction.

Though the Arc Knights arrived late in their effort to warn the Imperium of the Tyranids, their victory against Nemesis could very well mean the Imperium's victory.

A

scalon is the Fortress-Monastery of the Arc Knights. Built soon after the Battle for Nia, Ascalon boasts a size of more than 5% of the planet. Given the nickname Dawn's Reach, Ascalon was built on the highest mountain on the planet. Young aspirants must successfully journey to it in order to prove themselves worthy of beginning training. This is but the first step in becoming an Astartes. The true training lies in the dueling trials that will test the willpower and mettle of every aspirant. This will determine if the he is truly worthy of becoming a Knight-Brother of the Arc Knights.

Once an aspirant reaches the Ascalon, there is no time for rest as the squires are pitted against each other in a dueling tournament. Those that do make it past this point are to fight a senior knight-brother. Though many of the aspirants fail to reach this point or even actually emerge victorious, the trait that is sought for in this training is to never ever yield. Giving up means dishonor and failure among the Arc Knights. Aspirants that do win the duel against the Senior Knight would go straight into the 10th Company.

Those that do not yield during the duel are greeted with much harshness during the fight, as the duel will teach them to continue forward, no matter the pain. Their broken bodies and unbroken will are the corner stones of squire dueling trials. In some cases, the senior knight will put one hand behind his back to cause insult during the duel. Where many aspirants are nobles and high-born, this propels the young aspirants into anger and ferocity, which would eventually lead to loss. The loss matters not however; as pride worn as armor is more favorable than yielding.

The Young Queen

As the Arc Knights discovered Nia, it was under the rule of a young queen. The fate of House Lacris was equal in greatness as it was in tragedy. Cieska Lacris had been the sole survivor of, what is now known as, a Lictor attack.

Being a blank, the young princess was invisible to the Lictor. It seemed that the early form of the lictor operated directly through the psychic tyranid hive-mind and was therefore unseen to the xenos assassin.

To the people of Nia, this was, undeniably, divine proof that she was destined to their Queen. She ruled with the heart of her mother, and the will of her father.

N

ia is a Feudal World. The planet had history that dated back to the latter part of the great crusade, but no substantial evidence can make it certain as only logs only indicate fragments of dates. When and how the planet reached the far edges of the veiled region is unknown. The recorded history of Nia go as far as when the Imperial Fists arrived at Nia and they took the role of governing over the planet. A feudal system was chosen as to lengthen the lifespan of the planet and not let it's rare resources go to waste. The Sons of Dorn knew very well that the wide verdant fields and large azure seas Nia had made the planet more precious than any rare ore, and they so sought to protect it with their lives.

The planet had many resources that was otherwise hard to come by in any other sector. Nia now exports its livestock, produce and many other rare goods to many of the planets of the Segmentum Tempestus.

To the common folk of the planet, technology on the was scarce at best, as with any Feudal World. Only the upper classes had strict access to firearms, while only the nobles had the right to more devastating and rare weaponry like bolt-pistols and power swords. Mainly used as a sign of status, these rare weapons would only be used when absolutely needed. The planet kept close to the teachings of the Imperial Fists as the traditional art of the sword was kept throughout the years.

The Royal House of Lacris ruled over Nia for numerous moons. Declared the royal family by the Imperial Fists, House Lacris sought to emulate all of their teachings and ruled over the planet with a stern and just iron fist. Never exempt from war or strife, uprisings and civil wars are ended up being nothing but history. The Imperial Creed guided both the noble and lowborn, as only fools deviate from the Creed, as well as the fear of the Emperor's divine retribution if they so chose to stray.

Noble houses and high-born are usual candidates for squire training. Trained in both body in mind during their years inside the progena, the young boys are taught the art of war and the way of the sword. Learning the tactics and strategies the Arc Knights employed that brought them victory against their tyranid adversaries. Their years in the progena begins at the age of 7 up until the age of 18, when they have to make their journey to the Fortress-Monastery Ascalon and prove themselves worthy.

D

eviating from the Codex-Astartes, many changes and units were made to enhance the Arc Knights' lightning swift assault that brought them victory. Much of the organization of the Arc Knights originate from the tactics that won them Battle for Nia. The Arc Knights knew that the Tyranid horde they faced that day would overrun their defenses in a matter of days, as the xenos they had faced that day outnumbered them 30 to 1. The Grand Cross Artorias re-built the Arc Knights' foundation of battle-doctrines to answer the demands of a more offensive strategy. To this day, the Arc Knights stay true to their hot-blooded and headstrong nature as they charge into battle and drive their lances into the heart of the Imperium's enemies.

Slayers

A specialized unit called Slayers became the backbone of the Arc Knights' assault. During the Battle for Nia, they fulfilled many roles as the spear-tip of the Arc Knights' assault, Slayer squads are equipped with a mix of bolters and close-combat weapons as to provide a quick answer to what the battlefield called for. Soaring through the battlefield to bring death from on high with their jump packs, or have a gunship escort them to their enemy, Slayers seek out and decimate their enemies' strongest units.

Royal Guard

The Royal Guard were the elite knights that served under House Lacris. With the death of the King and Queen Lacris, the land was thrust into turmoil and disorder. These ever-loyal knights stood by the young Cieska as she was still the true heir to the crown. The Knights of the Royal Guard kept the peace as they halted anything that posed a threat against the - now - Queen Ceiska.

In honor and memory of these brave knights that did not falter in their duty, they are forever remembered in the ranks of the Arc Knights' Royal Guard. They bring to the battlefield many of the Arc Knights' relics. Armed with their personal teleporters and power weapons, they emulate the very battle-cry of the Arc Knights.

Knight Banneret

Favoring the taste of close-quarters combat, many Arc Knights charge into their enemies with the fiery oratory of Chaplains. The Knights Banneret do not adhere to the name Chaplain nor wear their fearsome skull helmet. As the name implies, these Knights carry the heraldry of House Lacris on their backpack-mounted banner. Knight Bannerets often command close-combat units, such as Slayers, into the heart of the battlefield.

Arc Knight Ranks

Squire - Scout
Knight - Battle-Brother
Knight-Sergeant
Knight-Captain
Knight-Commander
Slayer
Royal Guard
Knight-Errant - Currently in serving the Deathwatch

Chapter High Command

Apothecary

Techsmith - Techmarine
Forgesmith - Master of the Forge

Knight Banneret - Chaplain
Magister - Librarian
Grand Cross - Chapter Master

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T

he Arc Knights view the God Emperor more as a Father than as a God. While still strict adherents to the Imperial Creed, they believe that as a father, he wanted what was best for Mankind. As a father, he held his children in high regard in the things they could achieve; in the things humanity could achieve. The God Emperor believed in his astartes-sons, more than anything. The Emperor knew that mankind's destiny lay among the stars, and with his astartes-sons, this was achievable.

The Arc Knights regard their traitor-brethen as lower than filth for this reason. They denied their own father his dream; the dream of the human race united under the one banner of their father.

The fervent hatred for Tyranids will always burn in their hearts. The see the Tyranids as the worst of mankind's enemies as it slowly consumes at the glorious Imperium their father had built. The Arc Knights will never refuse a battle against the Tyranids. Even with their dwindling numbers, they will always make their stand against the Tyranids.

The Arc Knights also follow chivalrous codes. While other chapters would see guardsmen as mere cannon-fodder, they have a more humanitarian approach in regards to lives given in the name of the Imperium. As it is widely believed that astartes are the emperor's angels of death, The Arc Knights follow a viewpoint more as stalwart protectors due to these code's the Arc Knights follow.

A

s their progenitor's geneseed suffer the loss of the Betcher's Gland and Sus-an Membrane, the Arc Knights have an additional loss of the Omophagea or Remembrancer.

Excelion
The Radiant Bulwark
Song of Swords

"Strike Swift! Aim True! Leave the enemy no quarter!"

[Octavulg]

Not much here at the moment, but there already is a Chapter with Terra as a home world. The Imperial Fists. Yours wouldn't be assigned Terra as their home world.

[Dirus]

Yeah, its still a WIP.

I am well aware of the fists having terra as their homeworld. Being a fleet based chapter, they only consider terra as their homeworld.
Being basically sent on a one-way suicide mission, they just have a specific bond to Terra so to say.

Thanks for the feedback, will work on it some more.

[Aegnor]

So you've got a chapter you want to be specialist bug hunters, who get sent out beyond the edges of known space to see what's nibbling on the edge of the Imperium?

 

There's nothing wrong with the concept in itself, but I think it needs some fine tuning.

 

First, can I suggest this not be the chapter's founding purpose. Doesn't make a lot of sense to me that they'd be set up for such a purpose. Its not really a sensible shakedown deployment for a chapter just starting out. Also sounds like something of a suicide mission. The High Lords are by no means sentimental or humanitarian, but they're normally not completely wasteful. Would suggest either there was a reason they were so blase disposing of one of the most valuable military assets they possessed, or revisit they idea of how/why they were founded and have them reach their ultimate fate a different way. Also, the "this chapter was founded to combat this specific-threat-that-really-sector-command-would-just-deploy-existing-assets-against" thing is a bit of an overdone trope. If it's clear that there is a persistent threat that requires a garrison to oppose, sure, but not a specific invasion etc.

 

Also, having the High Lords suspect there was some kind of invasion happening on the Eastern Fringe in M37 breaks the continuity pretty badly. We know they initially had no idea what was going on when Kraken arrived in M40.

 

It's your IA to write, and don't want to overstep from feedback to trying to tell you what to write, but a suggestion for you that I think addresses all the above points. Have them founded before the advance Nid tendril arrives, and make that tendril arrive late M39. Put them on a world on the Eastern fringe, that ends up being the first major imperial world in the invasion path. They lose the planet, defeat that splinter fleet, and what's left gather in their remaining fleet and decide to go kamikaze out into the great darkness beyond the Astronomican trying to track the Nids back to whereever they came from. (Maybe there was too much warp turbulance to fly into Imperial space, maybe their astropaths were dead from the Shadow in the Warp, maybe they were just really pissed). Makes sense as to why your guys ended up on that mission, why the rest of the Imperium never learned about this advance raid, etc.

 

Just my 2 cents, hope it helps.

[Dirus]

Thanks for the feedback!

The sole purpose of the Arch Knights was to venture off into deep space to combat an unknown threat. Though i do agree that having their founding on Terra a secret is a bit overdone, the reason behind this is that's what they're fighting for. I wanted them to have a closeness to Terra. As for it sounding like a suicide mission, Terra did now know what they were putting the young chapter to combat, nor the threat it actually imposed to the Imperium. I wanted the odds against the chapter, and 500 marine strong chapter sounded just right.

As for the reason to their founding, it may be an overdone trope but other official chapters have been founded for far less. Take successor chapters for example, reason for some of their founding was because of that whole "No legion" thing.
I wanted a real purpose on why the Arch Knights exist, and that's to protect terra of an unknown threat. As i've stated earlier, though the Imperial Fist's have Terra as their homeworld, the Arch Knights consider Terra as their home.
 

I'll come back to this later. I have to get to school.

[Octavulg]

Arch Knights

First, it should be Archknights (like archduke, archimandrate, archbishop). Arch Knights would be knight who acted superior, or who acted roguishly in an affected fashion.

 

Second, Archknights isn't a word, so it probably shouldn't be that, either. I thought Arc Knights was a neat name, but apparently it's just a typo.

With the High Lords concered about the turn of events, the Arch Knights were made to combat this unknown threat.

A ) The term shadow in the warp is rather inextricably linked with Nids. And the Nids weren't around yet (at least not in their modern forms).

B ) As others have commented, that sounds like a really dangerous mission for a brand new chapter, especially one not yet up to strength.

What they were't ready for were the warp storms in uncharted space. Contact with Ignis was lost on M39. Ship logs report that they've successfully navigated through one warp storm without any damage but communication was lost due to some unknown warp interference. As far as the Imperium was concerned, the Arch Knights were lost in the vast abyss of space.

...It took them 2000 years to make it that far? That sounds like failure to me.

Homeworld: Terra (Fleetbased)

Then they have no home world. The Imperial Fists have a Fortress-Monastery on Terra and everything.

Combat Doctrine: Lightning Drop Pod assaults. Orbital Bombardment. Aerial Warfare.

So pretty much what every other Marine chapter does?

 

* * *

 

Terra is the most secure world in the Imperium. It's the center of Imperial government - it has the Custodes, Guard Legions, and Battlefleet Solar. And then there's all the stuff right next door on Mars. And the Grey Knights over on Saturn. And the Imperial Fists notionally on Terra. And some Space Wolves guarding one of the Navigator Houses. And the bodyguards of all the High Lords. And whatever fortifications have been built in-system since the Heresy. Assassin Temples. Every damn thing you can think of is there. And then there's all the nearby systems and their resources.

 

It's very secure, is what I'm getting at. Why would they need your chapter to protect them? Especially against a threat on the edge of the galaxy?

 

A chapter that feels a link with Terra could be neat, and makes a lot of sense. But as worlds that need chapters founded specifically to protect them go, Terra's pretty far down the list.

 

What do you want these guys to be like? What do you want out of writing about them?

[Dirus]

 

Also, the "this chapter was founded to combat this specific-threat-that-really-sector-command-would-just-deploy-existing-assets-against" thing is a bit of an overdone trope. If it's clear that there is a persistent threat that requires a garrison to oppose, sure, but not a specific invasion etc.

 

I forgot to add that they were sent beyond the Veiled Region. Not the Eastern Fringe, or any other sector that has Tyranid activity in M41.

 

 

First, it should be Archknights (like archduke, archimandrate, archbishop). Arch Knights would be knight who acted superior, or who acted roguishly in an affected fashion. 

 

Second, Archknights isn't a word, so it probably shouldn't be that, either. I thought Arc Knights was a neat name, but apparently it's just a typo

 

I originally intended it to be Arc Knights, though. Thank you for the clarifications. I agree with you that Arc Knights is better. I'll change it back.

 

 

A ) The term shadow in the warp is rather inextricably linked with Nids. And the Nids weren't around yet (at least not in their modern forms).
B ) As others have commented, that sounds like a really dangerous mission for a brand new chapter, especially one not yet up to strength....It took them 2000 years to make it that far? That sounds like failure to me.

 

 

Also, having the High Lords suspect there was some kind of invasion happening on the Eastern Fringe in M37 breaks the continuity pretty badly. We know they initially had no idea what was going on when Kraken arrived in M40.

A ) "The first recorded contact between the Imperium and the Tyranids places their appearance in the Eastern Fringes of the galaxy in 745.M41. However, it is rumoured that the Ordo Xenos of the Inquisition had identified possible appearances of this xenos species as far back as the 35th Millennium." - http://warhammer40k.wikia.com/wiki/Tyranids

 

I've done my homework to look at 40K galaxy maps and have found that there are no Tyranid incursions in the Veiled Region. The Arc Knights are the exact reason that it is that way. They defeat a young hive fleet by themselves.

 

 

 

Doesn't make a lot of sense to me that they'd be set up for such a purpose. Its not really a sensible shakedown deployment for a chapter just starting out. Also sounds like something of a suicide mission. The High Lords are by no means sentimental or humanitarian, but they're normally not completely wasteful.

 

B ) Yes, it is a dangerous mission. A suicide mission in fact. The high lords did not know what they sent the Arc Knights to face, nor did the Arc Knights.

That's the reason i wanted them to be few, it just made their victory more heroic, and not without sacrifice. 80% of the Arc Knights as well as the world they made their foothold in was lost. Only a few of them made it back to Terra. The fall of Tyran happened already when they got back; they wanted to hopefully warn the Imperium.

 

 

Then they have no home world. The Imperial Fists have a Fortress-Monastery on Terra and everything.

I'll keep it strict that they are fleet-based. But since they were founded on Terra, they consider it their home as well.

 

 

So pretty much what every other Marine chapter does?

 

Well, a clear focus on it. I basically just put what i field. Drop pod sternguard squads and stromravens with vanguard veterans. Scratch the orbital bombardment.

 

 

 

Terra is the most secure world in the Imperium. It's the center of Imperial government - it has the Custodes, Guard Legions, and Battlefleet Solar. And then there's all the stuff right next door on Mars. And the Grey Knights over on Saturn. And the Imperial Fists notionally on Terra. And some Space Wolves guarding one of the Navigator Houses. And the bodyguards of all the High Lords. And whatever fortifications have been built in-system since the Heresy. Assassin Temples. Every damn thing you can think of is there. And then there's all the nearby systems and their resources.

It's very secure, is what I'm getting at. Why would they need your chapter to protect them? Especially against a threat on the edge of the galaxy?

A chapter that feels a link with Terra could be neat, and makes a lot of sense. But as worlds that need chapters founded specifically to protect them go, Terra's pretty far down the list.

 

 

What the Arc Knights were sent to defeat wasn't a direct threat to Terra, nor did the High Lords see it that way. What ever reason, Imperial worlds disappearing of the grid is a threat to the Imperium, and therefore, a threat to Terra.

That's more enough of a reason to create a small chapter.
 

 

 

What do you want these guys to be like? What do you want out of writing about them?

 

It struck me that there isn't a chapter that was made to counter Tyranids. So i thought why not create a chapter that successfully defeated one before anyone else did. 

 

I want something thematic. Knights are meant to protect and defeat great beasts. Most of the names given to hive fleets are usually for great beasts. Poetically, tyranids look like great serpents (Trygon) or even dragons (Flyrant), which coincide with the concept of "knights and dragons."

 

I want the Arc Knights to be what they are. Valiant knights who have slain the Red Dragon.

[Shinzaren]

The origins of the Arc Knights are uncertain due to the loss of imperial records, but what is known is that they were founded by the command of the High Lords on Holy Terra on M37. There have been reports of strange activity in the far reaches. Planets would send broken distress signals which would somehow be jammed and rendered to static and phrases. There was a only one transmission where you could only make out the words "Shadow across the warp". Communication to the those planets were useless, as no one would answer.

Why didn't the High Lords send out investigative teams/missions?

 

 

With the High Lords concered about the turn of events, the Arc Knights were made to combat this unknown threat.

Wasn't there another chapter that could have investigated? Why go through all the trouble to found a new chapter just for an unknown? Wouldn't they want to investigate and discern the threat with other forces before making a new Chapter?

 

 

Allotted gear and equipment for a company that was only 500+ strong, they were to venture beyond the Perseus Arm in their quest.

Eh? Why so small? If they are making a chapter, why not make it all the way? Wouldn't they want to make sure that they sent enough people on this quest? Why start with a deliberate handicap?

 

The "Ignis" fleet was made along with the Arc Knights. "Ignis" was comprised of the Battle Barge "Excelion" and the two Retribution class Battleships "Vermiculus" and "Eversor" As ordered by the High Lords, the chapter was accompanied by various Deathwatch veterans; whatever the Arc Knights may face, they'll be ready for it.

Deathwatch implies that they knew the threat was Xenos in origin? Wouldn't they also send some Grey Knights? If they were truly planning for every eventuality they would certainly think of Chaos. I would imagine they would also send a bunch of Guardsmen, in case they needed to beseige/hold a system/world.

 

 

What they were't ready for were the warp storms in uncharted space.

No one is ready for Warp Storms, but I would hardly think they would be unanticipated. Afterall, uncharted space remains such for a reason. I would imagine they would certainly be aware of the risk of Warp Storms.

 

Contact with Ignis was lost on M39 along the Veiled Region. Ship logs report that they've successfully navigated through a warp storm without any damage but communication was lost due to some unknown warp interference. As far as the Imperium was concerned, the Arc Knights were lost in the vast abyss of space.

And that's it? They don't try again? They don't investigate the supposed loss of a new chapter, a bunch of naval firepower, some Deathwatch, and almost certainly an Inquisitor or two? Seems odd.

 

 

Preferred Enemy: Tyranids

This is a neat idea that turns the established dates of contact on their head with a what-if scenario. I like the idea of someone finding/fighting the Tyranids long before their "official" introduction to Galaxy. Looking forward to this a lot.

 

Fleetbased

 

Combat Doctrine: Lightning Strikes VIA drop pods and stormraven drops.

Wouldn't they be doing a lot of fighting on/from their ships as they encountered/battled space born threats? Perhaps include how they fight the Nids in space?

 

 

Geneseed: Imperial Fists

Any flaws? Any unique character they get from the Fists? This is a great section to expand on some of the physical uniqueness of your Chapter.

 

 

Overall, I like the concept you have. A chapter that goes into the black to battle monsters. I really like the idea of you encountering and fighting the Nids alone, long before anyone else even hears of them. I am looking forward to seeing how you develop this Chapter. That said, there are lots of areas to expand and explain. Good luck Dirus!

[Octavulg]

Shinzaren, why the hell is your post in the Large Print Edition?

 

* * *

 

Dirus

I've done my homework to look at 40K galaxy maps and have found that there are no Tyranid incursions in the Veiled Region. The Arc Knights are the exact reason that it is that way. They defeat a young hive fleet by themselves.

That seems...improbable. Kraken ate several chapters by itself - experienced and well-established ones.

 

Also, I've researched those earlier contacts for the timeline projects. It's things like the Ymgarl Genestealers and Hive Fleet Colossus and maybe a barely-reported Hive Fleet attacking somewhere in Obscurus. It's not flat-out Hive Fleets with the shadow in the warp and all that.

 

I don't necessarily mind the idea, but I think it's a little less cut and dried than you're suggesting.

B ) Yes, it is a dangerous mission. A suicide mission in fact. The high lords did not know what they sent the Arc Knights to face, nor did the Arc Knights.

 

That's the reason i wanted them to be few, it just made their victory more heroic, and not without sacrifice. 80% of the Arc Knights as well as the world they made their foothold in was lost. Only a few of them made it back to Terra. The fall of Tyran happened already when they got back; they wanted to hopefully warn the Imperium.

Space Marines don't need help to be heroic, and there's a distinction between heroic and implausible. Also, why the hell did it take them millenia?

I'll keep it strict that they are fleet-based. But since they were founded on Terra, they consider it their home as well.

Every chapter's founded on Terra to some extent, as I understand it.

 

Also, it being the Fists home world would likely make it the Fists sole territory, so drawing recruits from there would seem quite unlikely.

What the Arc Knights were sent to defeat wasn't a direct threat to Terra, nor did the High Lords see it that way. What ever reason, Imperial worlds disappearing of the grid is a threat to the Imperium, and therefore, a threat to Terra.

 

That's more enough of a reason to create a small chapter.

I really, really don't get why you think they'd create a small chapter. If it's a threat that's blocking out worlds, one chapter might not be enough. Sending a smaller one is just silly. Hell, the idea of a smaller one is a bit silly - a thousand Marines is already pretty tiny.

I want the Arc Knights to be what they are. Valiant knights who have slain the Red Dragon.

Hmm. Interesting.

[Shinzaren]

Shinzaren, why the hell is your post in the Large Print Edition?

 

TO ENSURE MY POINT IS MADE EXTRA CLEARLY! Also, it could be because I wrote it at work, on a... *shudder* Internet Explorer Browser... I honestly have no idea...

[Aegnor]

Glad the comments were helpful. I think there's a cool DIY chapter here, albeit with some of the details still needing to be refined. Look forward to seeing how they develop.

[Dirus]

Why didn't the High Lords send out investigative teams/missions?

 

The Arc Knights were part of the Sentinel Founding (23rd Founding - M38). Drawing from what "Sentinel" literally means, i find that an expeditionary chapter to combat an unknown thread to be very fitting.

Here's a little excerpt from the Star Phantoms:

 

"The Star Phantoms are a Chapter whose many victories remain unsung because of its own penchant for secrecy and isolationism. As part of the Sentinel Founding early in the 28th Millennium, the Chapter was founded to shore up the defenses of the Imperium in many vulnerable parts of its vast domain."

 

The founding of the Arc Knights is more than substantial compared to other chapters. Most chapters are usually to counter a threat.

It just so happened at that time, Tyranids we're still unknown to be a threat.

 

 

Wasn't there another chapter that could have investigated? Why go through all the trouble to found a new chapter just for an unknown? Wouldn't they want to investigate and discern the threat with other forces before making a new Chapter?

 

 

It's part of the theme I'm doing with the Arc Knights. The reasoning behind their Expeditionary Fleet is "Ignis" which means Fire.

The Arc Knights are the bright flame that will banish the shadow across the warp (DoW2 anyone?) As I've said, i intended the odds to be against the Arc Knights. They successfully defeat a young Hive Fleet with courage and sacrifice.

 

Deathwatch implies that they knew the threat was Xenos in origin? Wouldn't they also send some Grey Knights? If they were truly planning for every eventuality they would certainly think of Chaos. I would imagine they would also send a bunch of Guardsmen, in case they needed to beseige/hold a system/world.

 

 

I just find that the Deathwatch are more of a "Solve-All" unit compared to guardsmen or GK.

And that's it? They don't try again? They don't investigate the supposed loss of a new chapter, a bunch of naval firepower, some Deathwatch, and almost certainly an Inquisitor or two? Seems odd.

 

 

Well, they certainly don't sent another newly founded chapter. I know the timeline is a bit wonky, there's a lot of bumps that need to be flattened out.

As far as everything goes:

Founded near the end of M38

Goes crusading around up until M39 (Fights Orks, Chaos, Necrons, etc.)

Finds a trail far beyond the Veiled Region - Start of M40

Defeats a young Hive fleet - Mid M40

Returns to Terra a little to late to warn the Imperium - M41

This is a neat idea that turns the established dates of contact on their head with a what-if scenario. I like the idea of someone finding/fighting the Tyranids long before their "official" introduction to Galaxy. Looking forward to this a lot.

 

 

Thank you. That's the whole idea i wanted people to appreciate.

 

Wouldn't they be doing a lot of fighting on/from their ships as they encountered/battled space born threats? Perhaps include how they fight the Nids in space?

 

 

Probably Caestus Assault Rams.

Any flaws? Any unique character they get from the Fists? This is a great section to expand on some of the physical uniqueness of your Chapter.

 

Well, they do inherit all of the flaws of the gene-seed.

As for physical uniqueness, none as of the moment.

 

Overall, I like the concept you have. A chapter that goes into the black to battle monsters. I really like the idea of you encountering and fighting the Nids alone, long before anyone else even hears of them. I am looking forward to seeing how you develop this Chapter. That said, there are lots of areas to expand and explain. Good luck Dirus!

 

Thank you very much! 

I appreciate the critique you gave. I'll work on it some more of course. Thanks again.

 

That seems...improbable. Kraken ate several chapters by itself - experienced and well-established ones.

 

Also, I've researched those earlier contacts for the timeline projects. It's things like the Ymgarl Genestealers and Hive Fleet Colossus and maybe a barely-reported Hive Fleet attacking somewhere in Obscurus. It's not flat-out Hive Fleets with the shadow in the warp and all that.

 

I don't necessarily mind the idea, but I think it's a little less cut and dried than you're suggesting.

 

 

Improbable? That happens to be the Arc Knights' favorite type of misson.

 

Space Marines don't need help to be heroic, and there's a distinction between heroic and implausible.

 

I want the Arc Knights to be Heroic. I want them to triumph despite the odds.

 

Every chapter's founded on Terra to some extent, as I understand it.

 

Also, it being the Fists home world would likely make it the Fists sole territory, so drawing recruits from there would seem quite unlikely.

 

They don't take recruits from Terra, for one.

Two, they simply see Terra as home.

 

I really, really don't get why you think they'd create a small chapter. If it's a threat that's blocking out worlds, one chapter might not be enough. Sending a smaller one is just silly. Hell, the idea of a smaller one is a bit silly - a thousand Marines is already pretty tiny.

 

Very well then, I'll make it 1000.

 

Hmm. Interesting.

 

Indeed.

[NightrawenII]

@Dirus

I think you are doing it wrong. Moreover, you are painfully oblivious to what others are trying to get across.

 

To put it simply, your narrative looks like cobbled together with hobnails and glue because you insert plot-device whatever you see fit without contextual plausibility.

You even admit it yourself, many of these things are here just because the theme demands it. No wonder it looks forced and stirs up objections.

 

Right now, I see too much excuses why it works instead of propositions how it works. Think it over.

 

 

~NightrawenII

[Dirus]

After a long hiatus. I took everything everyone said into consideration and built my IA slowly. 

Here is my update. 

Again, I am welcome to any and all criticisms! 

[BrotherCaptainArkhan]

This may not be appreciated, but at a glance they're quite reminiscent of the Astral Claws in terms of colour scheme and the Chapter emblem could easily be mistaken for such in passing.

 

I also would be wary of writing the defeat of an entire Hive Fleet into a single Chapter's background. Hive Fleets are supposed to be massive. You would be entirely within reason to say that they took out a tendril of a Hive Fleet (hell, make it a big tendril if you like, invent a doomsday weapon they used to help even the odds but which also worked against them, hence the ~80% casualties thing)...but an entire Hive Fleet? It took a huge chunk of Ultima Segmentum's military capability to defeat the one attacking Macragge, and there's still splinter tendrils of that Hive Fleet kicking around in 999.M41.

 

Otherwise, you've got a good name for the Chapter and there's definitely a recognisable Arthurian theme to the Chapter overall. I do think they suffer slightly from being a bit too goody-two-shoes, but then I'm never happy unless a Chapter is up to its neck in misery, bloodshed and tainted honour. This is not necessarily something you need to change (although don't go overboard with giving them swathes of STC material and making them out to be Hive Fleet annihilators in their lunch hour - that sort of thing really destroys credibility), they just seem like they'd be a very proud, even arrogant, bunch in their dealings with those outside the Chapter. I'll be very interested to see your first painted models for these guys.

 

One last minor thing - I don't believe FTL jumps exist in the 40k universe. Could be wrong, but I'm pretty sure we're limited to the infinitely more dangerous journeys in the Warp as a means of interstellar travel.

[Dirus]

This may not be appreciated, but at a glance they're quite reminiscent of the Astral Claws in terms of colour scheme and the Chapter emblem could easily be mistaken for such in passing.

 

I also would be wary of writing the defeat of an entire Hive Fleet into a single Chapter's background. Hive Fleets are supposed to be massive. You would be entirely within reason to say that they took out a tendril of a Hive Fleet (hell, make it a big tendril if you like, invent a doomsday weapon they used to help even the odds but which also worked against them, hence the ~80% casualties thing)...but an entire Hive Fleet? It took a huge chunk of Ultima Segmentum's military capability to defeat the one attacking Macragge, and there's still splinter tendrils of that Hive Fleet kicking around in 999.M41.

 

Otherwise, you've got a good name for the Chapter and there's definitely a recognisable Arthurian theme to the Chapter overall. I do think they suffer slightly from being a bit too goody-two-shoes, but then I'm never happy unless a Chapter is up to its neck in misery, bloodshed and tainted honour. This is not necessarily something you need to change (although don't go overboard with giving them swathes of STC material and making them out to be Hive Fleet annihilators in their lunch hour - that sort of thing really destroys credibility), they just seem like they'd be a very proud, even arrogant, bunch in their dealings with those outside the Chapter. I'll be very interested to see your first painted models for these guys.

 

One last minor thing - I don't believe FTL jumps exist in the 40k universe. Could be wrong, but I'm pretty sure we're limited to the infinitely more dangerous journeys in the Warp as a means of interstellar travel.

 

Yes, i do know the similarities of my chapter's color scheme to the Pre-Red Corsairs. I do just really like the shade that of blue and it just so happens i share it with the astral claws.

I wanted my chapter to have a "White Knight" or goody-too-shoes sort of feel. So i guess i can be happy i got that across. haha.

 

As for defeating a whole hive fleet, that wasn't what my chapter achieved. They defeated an earlier form of tyranids. (I know I'll specify about it more in the "Later History" tab of mine, i'll probably add some drawings to drive the valiant knight vs. evil dragon theme i have) Whether or not they were the entirety of that hive fleet, or just a tendril as you suggest, the Arc Knights don't really know. 

 

Spoiler: It was just a tendril. Hive Fleet Nemesis will come and settle their score with the Arc Knights at a later date.

 

I've done research and found tyranid sightings go far back as to the even before the Imperium of Man. How the tyranids worked (how they consume planets) and looked then is up to interpretation, and in this case, my interpretation. (as cool tyranid dragons)

As for the whole STC thing, that's just a fluffy reason of mine to field them as Blood Angels and have access to special tech the BA do. I plan on making my Royal (Sanguinary) Guard have personal teleporters instead of jump packs. I'll be sure to update pictures of this army painted, don't worry.

 

YES. Exactly! Proud and bordering on arrogant and stubborn is the flaw of the Arc Knights. They are currently under strength and only take recruits from their homeworld. It's going to take a long time to get their chapter up to strength again, and here's to hoping they don't do suicide missions in the pursuit of greater glory...and get killed. 

 

As for the FTL, here's a quote from the wiki page of tyranids:

 

The Narvhal

Tyranid Hive Fleets do not travel through the Warp like Imperial starships. Yet, the Hive Fleets' incredibly fast rate of advance into the galaxy belies the argument made by some that they do not possess a mode of faster-than-light travel. Whilst it is true that the Tyranids are forced to remain at sublight speeds while within the gravitic boundaries of a planetary system, they are capable of superluminal velocities when travelling through interstellar space. This capability is the result of a small Tyranid bio-ship classified by the savants of the Imperium of Man as a Narvhal

 

 

 

Thank you for your critique! I very much appreciate it! 

[Quozzo]

I really like the knightly theme to the chapter. Slaying a tyranid flying creature that looks like a dragon from ancient terran mythology is a nice touch, but it falls down there for me.

 

Firstly you have the Queen of the planet as a pariah. Pariahs are hated by everyone and everything. Actually hated is the wrong word, detested, loathed, abhorred. Anyone that comes close to them wants to rip out there heart and tear it to pieces. They are despised by everyone. One surviving on a planet long enough for the Imperium to notice is nothing short of miraculous but one becoming Queen is something else entirely. Unless the Queens position is hereditary there is no way she would have been given such a position. Even then the French revolution springs to mind. She would not be loved by her people she would be hated by everyone, even her parents would have had to fight every fibre in their body not to kill her at every opportunity. They wont know why, just that pariahs are somehow wrong. Even a Space Marine would find it difficult not to cut her down on sight.

 

An entire planet moving into the warp is something that doesn't happen often. It only occurs due to some chaotic influence as seen in the Dark Adeptus novel (Grey Knights) and a Tyranid that does not use the warp but repels it would not cause a planet to disappear through the immaterium, especially if the beast was destroyed. The pariah protecting them is a great concept but a pariahs influence only extends a few meters. If her power was engulfing the planet then she would have another horde trying to kill her.

 

My first impressions is that the chapter suffers from a bad case of mary sue. They followed in the footsteps of a well established chapter, survived a warp storm, met a queen pariah, defeated a tyranid fleet, flew through the warp on a planet and have access to rare STC's.

 

There are also a few minor syntax errors with the IA that I noticed.

The Arc Knights 1st company now disembark from their Thunderhawks, and methodically secured the area to no avail.

They either secured the area or they didn't. They could attempt to secure the area to no avail, but saying they did and then did not doesn't make sense.

 

The Xenos fell on their blades in the name of the Emperor and the Imperium.

That to me sounds like the xenos fell on their own blades, in the name of the Emperor.

 

I also noted that you used some present and past tenses in the same sentences such as

The Ignis fleet unleash a furious volley of imperial might which tore straight through the ranks of the Xenos ships.

Which should be as

The Ignis fleet unleash a furious volley of imperial might that tore straight through the ranks of the Xenos ships.

 

I've not read it all, but that's what I have so far.

[Dirus]

I really like the knightly theme to the chapter. Slaying a tyranid flying creature that looks like a dragon from ancient terran mythology is a nice touch, but it falls down there for me.

 

Firstly you have the Queen of the planet as a pariah. Pariahs are hated by everyone and everything. Actually hated is the wrong word, detested, loathed, abhorred. Anyone that comes close to them wants to rip out there heart and tear it to pieces. They are despised by everyone. One surviving on a planet long enough for the Imperium to notice is nothing short of miraculous but one becoming Queen is something else entirely. Unless the Queens position is hereditary there is no way she would have been given such a position. Even then the French revolution springs to mind. She would not be loved by her people she would be hated by everyone, even her parents would have had to fight every fibre in their body not to kill her at every opportunity. They wont know why, just that pariahs are somehow wrong. Even a Space Marine would find it difficult not to cut her down on sight.

 

An entire planet moving into the warp is something that doesn't happen often. It only occurs due to some chaotic influence as seen in the Dark Adeptus novel (Grey Knights) and a Tyranid that does not use the warp but repels it would not cause a planet to disappear through the immaterium, especially if the beast was destroyed. The pariah protecting them is a great concept but a pariahs influence only extends a few meters. If her power was engulfing the planet then she would have another horde trying to kill her.

 

My first impressions is that the chapter suffers from a bad case of mary sue. They followed in the footsteps of a well established chapter, survived a warp storm, met a queen pariah, defeated a tyranid fleet, flew through the warp on a planet and have access to rare STC's.

 

There are also a few minor syntax errors with the IA that I noticed.

The Arc Knights 1st company now disembark from their Thunderhawks, and methodically secured the area to no avail.

They either secured the area or they didn't. They could attempt to secure the area to no avail, but saying they did and then did not doesn't make sense.

 

>

The Xenos fell on their blades in the name of the Emperor and the Imperium.

That to me sounds like the xenos fell on their own blades, in the name of the Emperor.

 

I also noted that you used some present and past tenses in the same sentences such as

The Ignis fleet unleash a furious volley of imperial might which tore straight through the ranks of the Xenos ships.

Which should be as

The Ignis fleet unleash a furious volley of imperial might that tore straight through the ranks of the Xenos ships.

 

I've not read it all, but that's what I have so far.

 

 

About the Planet's queen being a pariah:

 

Yes, she was the sole survivor of an attack from an earlier form of lictor that could only see through the warp. She is also the last surviving member of the Planet's Royal Family: Lacris.

I have to say that you took the reaction to pariah's a step forward in terms of grimdarkness. While i do like your interpretation of everyone being a black templar, I went more for how the wiki tells it: 

"These mutants have little to no psychic existence in the Warp, thus lacking what others would consider a soul. As a consequence, these individuals radiate a sense of unnaturalness and unease that is unnerving to other living creatures and can be painful or even lethal to psychically-sensitive beings."

 

To clarify things further, I've changed all the lines that say she is a pariah to blank. 

"A Blank is often not aware of his powers and may not be able to control them even if he is, but the aura of negative psychic space he projects is highly disruptive to psychic powers. A psyker will find it difficult to impossible to affect the Blank and anyone in his general vicinity with his powers. Blanks have a better chance than true Pariahs to live a peaceful life, for since their aura of "otherness" is weak, baseline humans may simply pass it off as queerness and leave the Blank alone."

 

I'll probably add in lines to show clear signs of otherness to get it across more.

 

As for the whole gellar field warp shenanigans, the belief of the queen protecting the planet is just by the people. Even for meta, not much is know about the warp or how it exactly works. To explain the whole connection and actual concept of the tyranid dragon, it was seeded underneath the planet for a long amount of time, growing in strength and finally emerging to destroy the Arc Knight who intrude on its lair. This beast had a connection to the planet, and as it was slain, it triggered something as great as itself.

 

Fact is, the planet was clearly marked for consuming, call it fate or destiny, protectors show up in the nick of time and save the day. In this case, the whole planet.

 

 

My first impressions is that the chapter suffers from a bad case of mary sue. They followed in the footsteps of a well established chapter, survived a warp storm, met a queen pariah, defeated a tyranid fleet, flew through the warp on a planet and have access to rare STC's.

 

The points you've laid make for a nice TL;DR of my chapter, actually.

I'll take it as a complimet that you compare my homebrew to more, well established chapters. That's what i was going for.

To the gary stu comment, many people have already said that beating an entire hive fleet is ridiculous, and well, special snowflake tier bull. If you look at my reply to Arkhan, i state that it was clearly and tendril they defeated, at a great cost since the chapter is less than 80% of it's current strength.

 

I can address two of the plot devices i used:

1. Warp Storm

Chancing upon a warp storm unharmed which lead you to your main goal as a chapter does stretch it, i agree, but it sticks to the theme of an epic quest taken upon by a knight. When it comes down to it, It's wasn't really a choice of fight or flight. The planet is where the distress signal originated from, and will they will finish their quest by any means necessary.

2. STCs

The history of the planet dates back as far as the latter part of the emperor's great crusade. Most of the STCs do come from planet's like this. Add to the fact that an heresy-era fleet of their progenitor chapter chanced upon this planet the same way the Arc Knights did. Again, adds to the "destiny" theme many great epic's all share.

 

 

Thank you for the critique and for fixing my syntax errors!

[Quozzo]

The warp storm the fleet encountered and escaped unscathed doesnt add anything to the story. It just makes out that your chapter can survive anything. You could tie it to the anomoly encompasing the planet after the tyranid dragon was slain but no connection was made.

 

The planet is described as a feudal world (is that even when united under a queen?) Which would not be in need of a STC as it isnt a forge world. If the IF had been on the planet earlier then they would have possibly left a relic of some sort. Maybe they left a 2H relic blade, which over the millenium the IF became a legend, claiming they wielded the weapon and so anyone who is able to lift such a weapon would be their saviour. Non of the human population could achieve such a feat, except of course the AK when they arrived. That would suit the Arthurian (sp?) theme.

[Dirus]

The warp storm the fleet encountered and escaped unscathed doesnt add anything to the story. It just makes out that your chapter can survive anything. You could tie it to the anomoly encompasing the planet after the tyranid dragon was slain but no connection was made.

 

The planet is described as a feudal world (is that even when united under a queen?) Which would not be in need of a STC as it isnt a forge world. If the IF had been on the planet earlier then they would have possibly left a relic of some sort. Maybe they left a 2H relic blade, which over the millenium the IF became a legend, claiming they wielded the weapon and so anyone who is able to lift such a weapon would be their saviour. Non of the human population could achieve such a feat, except of course the AK when they arrived. That would suit the Arthurian (sp?) theme.

 

Ah, i understand what you're saying. I'll just change it to not being a warp storm and instead, the same warp anomaly that brought the planet to segmentum tempestus? That'd make more sense, actually.

I apologize, i don't think i understand the gravity of how dangerous and destructive warp storms are. Thanks for the tip of tying the warp anomaly together.

 

Well, with their Imperial Fist rulers gone, the feudal world was left under the chosen rulers of House Lacris, Cieska is the princess. It was because of a recent lictor attack that the sole heir to the throne was Cieska. I don't see any problem with the last true heir to a throne being a woman. 

 

As for the STCs, I do understand that what you're saying that the planet wouldn't inherently have the STCs itself. I'll go on and change it.

 

When i said STCs, the extent of it was access to heresy-era archeotech, and yes, astartes relics as you've also kindly suggested. I've said earlier that i just use this as a fluffy reason to field the Arc Knights with BA rules. More in the lines of graviton guns, Mk IV power armor, a cool bolter here and there, etc. I don't have any plans to use it as some bull reason for the chapter to have anything OP or broken.

 

I like your suggestion of the savior's sword. I'll definitely add that in. 

 

Thank you again for your input! You've been very helpful.

 

Lastly, what does (sp?) mean?

[Quozzo]

Warp storm are credited for numerous ambiguous chapter disappearances. They also gave us the the legion of the damned who's survivors just refused to die.

Its funny that you mention female heirs as we (England) only past a law last year, or maybe this year, that stated the first born would be heir to the throne regardless of gender. Before then it was male only as it is throughout most of the world. I don't have a problem with it but a world that doesn't accept reason or logic, but superstition and magic (the queen is rather "magic" in a sense) would only resort to a female heir if there were no males at the time (ala England).

Chapters don't have access to STC's they get all their equipment from the AdMech who in turn get it from the Forge Worlds they own. If a relatively young chapter came across an Infernos Pistol STC or Winged Jump Pack STC or some such, then they would need to hand it in to the AdMech who would then supply all chapters with that new tech. The Blood Angels get away with telling the AdMech were to shove it because they are over 10,000 years old, have many many allies and calling the BA traitors would spark another civil war. The Arc Knights on the other hand would get wiped out by whichever inquisitorial force just happened to be passing by.

Using BA rules on TT doesn't need a STC discovery to make that happen. The BA have alot of successors and even homebrew chapters that use BA rules and BA tech without direct access to the STC. You could rationalize any BA wargear as gifts from them (or some successor of theirs) for aiding them in some battle. You could even have a stash of archeotech on the planet with infernus pistols and blood claws that your chapter cherishes as they are scarce, but an STC is rarely discovered. Looking at Lexicanum, an STC for a combat knife was discovered by 2 imperial guards who were hailed as heroes and then given a planet each for their discovery.

Oh and sp? just means "spelling?" as I'm not sure how to spell Arthurian. Just a lucky guess that I was right

[Dirus]

Warp storm are credited for numerous ambiguous chapter disappearances. They also gave us the the legion of the damned who's survivors just refused to die.

Its funny that you mention female heirs as we (England) only past a law last year, or maybe this year, that stated the first born would be heir to the throne regardless of gender. Before then it was male only as it is throughout most of the world. I don't have a problem with it but a world that doesn't accept reason or logic, but superstition and magic (the queen is rather "magic" in a sense) would only resort to a female heir if there were no males at the time (ala England).

Chapters don't have access to STC's they get all their equipment from the AdMech who in turn get it from the Forge Worlds they own. If a relatively young chapter came across an Infernos Pistol STC or Winged Jump Pack STC or some such, then they would need to hand it in to the AdMech who would then supply all chapters with that new tech. The Blood Angels get away with telling the AdMech were to shove it because they are over 10,000 years old, have many many allies and calling the BA traitors would spark another civil war. The Arc Knights on the other hand would get wiped out by whichever inquisitorial force just happened to be passing by.

Using BA rules on TT doesn't need a STC discovery to make that happen. The BA have alot of successors and even homebrew chapters that use BA rules and BA tech without direct access to the STC. You could rationalize any BA wargear as gifts from them (or some successor of theirs) for aiding them in some battle. You could even have a stash of archeotech on the planet with infernus pistols and blood claws that your chapter cherishes as they are scarce, but an STC is rarely discovered. Looking at Lexicanum, an STC for a combat knife was discovered by 2 imperial guards who were hailed as heroes and then given a planet each for their discovery.

Oh and sp? just means "spelling?" as I'm not sure how to spell Arthurian. Just a lucky guess that I was right

Well, i'll just go on and admit that the concept behind Cieska is Daenerys Targaryen (probably looks like Emilia Clarke too!). Think of House Lacris as just a honorable and good family. Like the starks mixed in with daenerys. The Imperial Fists had to choose a good family to rule over the planet, they had to pick wisely.

Also imagine that her Royal Guard is all Jorah Mormont.

Cieska didn't just decide to rule, I'd imagine she was reluctant to govern over a whole planet. She was the last living Lacris, the rightful House to rule. I'll write some stuff in that during the turmoil, the truth of the Xenos assassin is revealed to the public, and she was the only survivor. Superstitious common-folk would be pretty quick to believe that the God Emperor protected her to continue the rule of house Lacris, while usurpers and coups would meet the blades of her royal guard.

I know it's 40k, but Nia is an isolated planet in God-Emperor know's where. The mere existence of Nia is pretty magical. I like slices of noblebright here and there. While i haven't thought as far as the whole scope of the Arc Knights' later history, I'll be sure to change things up, and add in more of that good grimdark flavor.

Thanks for clarifying STCs a bit more. I did get the feeling that the entire STC for a certain thing would be too much. Thanks for explaining about it more. I'll change up the whole vault thing i wrote.