IA: Broken Arrows

[Firepower]

Thing is, the titles don't work like that. Chapter name's the subtitle. When I read that, I think the chapter's the Unabated Storm (in part because "The" is almost always in front of Chapter names). You could just do Endless or Eternal or some similar word instead of Unabated.

If you change "Black Horizons" to "Dark Horizons", I think it removes some of the ambiguity (since it sounds less like a name for something) and you'd still get the same effect. I really think you're trying to solve a very minor problem with a sledgehammer, though - it doesn't stick out that much. Hell, it'd barely stick out at all if it didn't have a big shiny blue header around it.

Unabated is too catchy to drop. I think the confusion from reversal of typical title order will be soundly resolved by the one or two hundred times I refer to them as Arrows, like in that very first sentence of the article, for instance. It helps that I never use the words unabated or storm again. :D

I don't see how Dark instead of Black would lessen the issue. In fact, I don't even see that particular issue. Black Horizons doesn't strike me as a proper noun...'cept for those capital letters, but then Dark Horizons has those too.

But overall, I think I'll just be leaving the current section titles as they are. I'll edit them to have the fancier titles later and see how it looks at any rate.

[Octavulg]

Except Unabated is the bit that's making it sound awkward.

People call the horizon dark more than they call it black, basically. Makes it more literal, which makes it work better as a metaphor (oddly enough). Though, honestly, I don't find it particularly confusing.

[Firepower]

Except Unabated is the bit that's making it sound awkward.

Awww! But I thought it sounded cool.

Well, here are some of the other ones I had on the list. Murder's Breath, War's Breath, Gales of Murder, Gales of War, Unyielding Storm, Unrelenting Storm, Howls of War, Steel Tempest, Inexorable Storm...

Gotta love a good thesaurus.

[Octavulg]

Unyielding Storm sounds kinda nice. Unyielding is very them, Storm is very them. I approve.

[Aegnor]

I reckon this is great - has a unique tone abd is among the best DIYs I've read here.

 

I think the oral tradition stuff makes sense and flows well. The Whisper, the Whisperkin, all great.

 

As to what they were called before they reached Lacrum, who cares? They don't.

[NightrawenII]

Point of curiosity, was Cayowakan the CM when the Throneguard incident went down? I feel like its not as impressive for a CM to beat down a Champion.

Well, it actually is... Don't let the rules fool you. The SM commanders aren't nowhere near the WS/BS monsters *in reality*. The captain is captain because he is good commander. On the other hand, the champion is champion because he is good at using his sword (axe, mace... you get the point, right?) to make people dead. The captain is good at using other marines to make people dead. The omni-important detail.

 

 

It would have more meaning if the other sections had different headings as well. Black Horizons in the middle of Origin, Organization, Combat Doctrine, sticks out instead of blending.

Fair point. But the orthodox Liberites might burn me at the stake if I title them 'The Dawn,' 'Black Horizons,' 'Spirit of the Arrow,' 'Mother Lacrum,' 'Tribes Ascended,' 'Ways of the Hunt,' 'Gift of the Great Khan,' and 'The Call of War.'

 

Although that does sound kinda cool...

 

Ah, the eternal tug of war between self expression and public immolation.

Stop stealing my ideas! *grumble grumble*

[Firepower]

Unyielding Storm sounds kinda nice. Unyielding is very them, Storm is very them. I approve.

Unabated makes more sense than Unyielding

After much meditation, I think I like how it looks now.

Well, it actually is... Don't let the rules fool you. The SM commanders aren't nowhere near the WS/BS monsters *in reality*. The captain is captain because he is good commander. On the other hand, the champion is champion because he is good at using his sword (axe, mace... you get the point, right?) to make people dead. The captain is good at using other marines to make people dead. The omni-important detail.

Actually I was under the impression that a Chapter Master (not a mere Captain) was supposed to be as badass as anyone at combat and command alike. I would expect Marneus to womp anyone else among the Ultras, and Helbrecht to crush and Emperor's Champion that popped up. But remember, he doesn't just kill the Champion- he kills him using what is basically a metal stick without a point

Stop stealing my ideas! *grumble grumble*

I'm in your brain, and I'm eating your thoughts!

[Firepower]

Titles edited to conjoin fancy with standard. I rather like how it looks

[Messor]

And not clunky like I thought it might be.

[Octavulg]

Home world should be two words, and I think "Joy in the Kill" might make more sense than "Rejoice in the Kill". But it's not too bad.

[Firepower]

And not clunky like I thought it might be.

Actually I see something of the opposite problem, in one spot at least. The Dawn: Origins is real small and dinky compared to all the other titles. I need to stretch it out a teensy bit.

I know it's kinda trivial but...well...it just bothers me....

Edit: Fixed it! And with a pun no less! I feel much better now

[Octavulg]

Breaking Dawn. Must you?

[Firepower]

Breaking Dawn. Must you?

...damn you Octavulg!

My fault for forgetting I heard that somewhere before

Edited it to "The Break of Dawn."

[Messor]

I must have a gift for disconnecting from references, because I didn't see that. I can see why its distressing though.

[Firepower]

Arise, slumbering thread!  Arise!

 

So I've been revisiting and tinkering with this IA quite a bit for a while now.  It started when I began the army blog, and added hitherto unmentioned fluff to some of the entries, like the Longbows.  So, I've altered the Organization section a few times, trying to walk the line between arbitrarily snow-flake-special and proper individual awesomeness.  It's not an easy line to walk, let me tell you!  I've edited it several times trying to make it all work.  Now before it's pointed out, yes, I use the title Lodges, and anyone who's familiar with the Horus Heresy will go 'Heeeeey!'  But by my reasoning, it's pretty unlikely the Arrows would be aware of such a subtle factor of the Heresy, which is poorly remembered at best already.

 

I also edited the Gargoyle's entry a few times to try making it less clunky, and as of today, made major edits to the oral origin story, to try and make it sound more in line with how they may speak, rather than how I speak (overly wordy, as if anyone hadn't notice).

 

So please, give it a read and let me know if I slipped up anywhere, and if the particular changes I mentioned are working as intended.  I'll say right now I'm still not yet satisfied with the Gargoyle's section, so any revisions or rewrites are welcome there.

 

I must get this to a point where I can walk away without concern or regret.  Quite an uphill battle for me really.

 

Gotta try to replace that image of an Arrow, too.  I abandoned the silver wind swirls in the end.  Damned if I remember how to go about it in Photoshop, though.

[Ace Debonair]

Well, these guys are cool.

The lodges have me slightly puzzled, though - are they what the Arrows have in place of Assault and Devastator squads, or do they replace the Assault and Devastator Companies?

I definitely approve of the Whisperkin, though. Very nice!

[Lysimachus]

Still awesome. The only thing that bugs me slightly about the new stuff is how they all have fancy names except the regular squads. I know they are just the rank and file, but it just feels odd to have Longbows, Whisperkin, etc running around but still having Tactical squads. It's like if Space Wolves still called GH Tactical Marines.

 

Could just refer to them as brethren/whatever in the IA, feels less jarring.

 

May just be me though! :lol:

[Firepower]

I don't see why Hunters shouldn't be called tactical squads

Anyway, the idea of the Lodges is this: Arrows, like Marines from other Chapters, are still required to serve briefly in Devastator and Assault squads on their way to becoming Tactical Marines. However, since the Bolter is something of a holy icon/ideal in the Chapter, few Arrows want to stay in the role of a Devastator or Assault Marine. They're transient posts, little more than a stepping stone on the way to earning a place among Tactical squads.

There are however aberrant Arrows which do lean towards melee/heavy weaponry, and they are recruited by the two Lodges. The lodges are the closest equivalent to Devastator/Assault companies, but only in that they are both pools of Marines permanently assigned to the roles of close combat or heavy weapons. Lodges frequently dispatch individual members to lead the Chapter's few Devastator/Assault squads as veteran experts, or deploy squads composed only of brothers from the Lodge.

So you have an Assault Squad, with a member of the Talons leading the squad. Everyone except for the Talon are only there because they have to be, if they want to earn the right to wield a bolter. But every now and then, one of the rookies looks super bloodthirsty or a bit unhinged, and the Talon of the squad will go 'Yo, wanna roll with us? We got a nice club house. We just gotta teach you to be a bit crazier first.' And that's where baby Talons come from

Hm. I think I got a bit dumber by the time I finished this explanation. Or maybe it started out dumb. Hard to tell.

Basically, while Devastator and Assault Squads still exist, Devastator and Assault Companies are gone, replaced by two lodges that sort of mingle Devastator/Assault Companies with Veteran Company qualities; there aren't very many of them, they go where they want, have their own political sway, rituals, etc. (This sentence is about the best summation of the idea I've had so far!)

They mostly came about as a way of reconciling the Arrows' unusual emotional attachment to the Bolter with the need for standing units of assault and heavy weapon troopers. It's a simple concept, I've just done a crap job of explaining it simply :P

[Firepower]

So I may have come up with a different solution. The way I have it set up is a confused mess trying to straddle Codex adherence and a complex clan/tribe structure. It fails at both. So I figure why not try going all in? Tribal/clan-like organization is reminiscent not only of the Tribes, but the White Scars, so it seems like a plausible step, even though the Scars are mostly in line with the Codex organizational structure.

To hell with Companies. Divide the Chapter into three Lodges; the assault elements of the Talons, the heavy firepower of the Long Bows, and the tactical elements of the...I'm going with the working title of Pathfinders. The arrow metaphor is drawn out to the macro (yay fractal mythology!) wherein the Long Bows are the guiding accuracy of the nock and fletching, the Talons are the arrowhead, and the Pathfinders are the shaft, coordinating the two and forming the backbone of the Chapter. Scouts (quite fond of the title Newhearts) are chosen by the lodges by temperament and skill, but since the archery motif follows through to focus primarily on the bolter, the Talons and Long Bows are still a minority against the Chapter's equivalent of Tactical Squads as in most Chapters.

For an extra giggle, the leadership of the Chapter forms what is known as the Longhouse. Whereas Lacrum's people are almost entirely nomadic, a permanent structure is a rarity. Longhouses are revered places, uninhabited for years, even generations at a time, where Tribes can gather for council, politics, etc. Leaders of the Lodges, the Arrows' Librarians (I'm calling them 'Soulbones') and Chaplains (looking at 'Truthers') coordinate the Chapter under this umbrella term/organization, with a Chapter Master making the final calls.

It's odd, but I really wanna avoid using the term "Chief" for the Lodge heads or Chapter Master, because I'm already just sort of throwing mixed skin deep disjointed Native American cultural knowledge into a blender, but I can't think of any other tribal/clan level society's term for 'leader.' I can't think of why, but for some reason once the word "Chief" pops up, suddenly everything feels culturally insensitive, even though when I make up names for characters I'm just throwing out syllables that kinda sorta sound like how I've heard Native Americans speak. Even if political correctness isn't a real factor, "Chief" just feels...forced.

What an odd issue to run into.

Edit- For the record, when it comes to the IA I wouldn't go through the dry and tedious trouble of saying "Librarians are called Soulbones, Scouts are called Newhearts, Chaplains are called Truthers, but they're all the same thing." It's pretty much just something to tinker with in my head, and whip out when I write fluff outside of the formal IA.

[Sete]

Pretty cool stuff going here.

I might steal some ideas Muahahahha

And librarians? Tch tch tch... shame on you ;)

[Nomus Sardauk]

Chaplains are called Truthers

Am I the only one who read that and immediately thought of this?

http://media-cache-ec0.pinimg.com/236x/cc/be/1b/ccbe1bbee08c01cdb679e0fd02e68a88.jpg

[Lysimachus]

Interesting idea. So there are no Companies at all, just the lodges? Would that mean that when a force is needed the Chapter Master would just select the squads (or even individuals) required, anything from a few squads up to multiple Companies in size, and a suitable commander? Maybe not even have Captains officially, just members of the CM's retinue of varying levels of experience able to command varying sizes of battle groups?

 

On the CM title, maybe reference their White Scar roots in some way? Huntmaster or something like that?

[Firepower]

 

 

 

Chaplains are called Truthers

Am I the only one who read that and immediately thought of this?
http://media-cache-ec0.pinimg.com/236x/cc/be/1b/ccbe1bbee08c01cdb679e0fd02e68a88.jpg

 

 

I have absolutely no idea who those people are or what show they are from. 

 

 

 

Interesting idea. So there are no Companies at all, just the lodges? Would that mean that when a force is needed the Chapter Master would just select the squads (or even individuals) required, anything from a few squads up to multiple Companies in size, and a suitable commander? Maybe not even have Captains officially, just members of the CM's retinue of varying levels of experience able to command varying sizes of battle groups?

On the CM title, maybe reference their White Scar roots in some way? Huntmaster or something like that?

 

Well, most of the Chapter is always out running around hunting Dark Eldar, with exception to a Company that guards the home world.  Well, I guess it's not a Company anymore...

 

I hadn't thought so far ahead as to determine how the Chapter divides itself into fighting forces.  

 

Spitballing:

 

I imagine the Lodges have subdivisions of their own, or else it would just be a chaotic mess of 200-500 marines under one title.  Probably something equivalent to warbands, tribes, clans or cults, bigger than a squad but smaller than a company.  When forces are dispatched, I imagine the Master would request forces from the Lodge heads, and they would commit the warbands of their choosing to the task.

 

Fun note- there is no war on Lacrum.  Yet after ascending to join the Chapter, things like Lodge and warband affiliation become matters of pride, contest, and even conflict.  The Khan's gene-seed at work, perhaps? ;)

[Aqui]

I don't see why Hunters shouldn't be called tactical squads

Anyway, the idea of the Lodges is this: Arrows, like Marines from other Chapters, are still required to serve briefly in Devastator and Assault squads on their way to becoming Tactical Marines. However, since the Bolter is something of a holy icon/ideal in the Chapter, few Arrows want to stay in the role of a Devastator or Assault Marine. They're transient posts, little more than a stepping stone on the way to earning a place among Tactical squads.

There are however aberrant Arrows which do lean towards melee/heavy weaponry, and they are recruited by the two Lodges. The lodges are the closest equivalent to Devastator/Assault companies, but only in that they are both pools of Marines permanently assigned to the roles of close combat or heavy weapons. Lodges frequently dispatch individual members to lead the Chapter's few Devastator/Assault squads as veteran experts, or deploy squads composed only of brothers from the Lodge.

So you have an Assault Squad, with a member of the Talons leading the squad. Everyone except for the Talon are only there because they have to be, if they want to earn the right to wield a bolter. But every now and then, one of the rookies looks super bloodthirsty or a bit unhinged, and the Talon of the squad will go 'Yo, wanna roll with us? We got a nice club house. We just gotta teach you to be a bit crazier first.' And that's where baby Talons come from

Hm. I think I got a bit dumber by the time I finished this explanation. Or maybe it started out dumb. Hard to tell.

Basically, while Devastator and Assault Squads still exist, Devastator and Assault Companies are gone, replaced by two lodges that sort of mingle Devastator/Assault Companies with Veteran Company qualities; there aren't very many of them, they go where they want, have their own political sway, rituals, etc. (This sentence is about the best summation of the idea I've had so far!)

They mostly came about as a way of reconciling the Arrows' unusual emotional attachment to the Bolter with the need for standing units of assault and heavy weapon troopers. It's a simple concept, I've just done a crap job of explaining it simply

At the risk of screams of Heresy, I think I understand what you're trying to say.

It sounds like the Eldar path. Marines enter the Assault "path" and Devastator "path", to be able to get to the ultimate "path" of Tactical. However, some on their way become so consumed by the "path" they are travelling that they stay there, instead of moving on. I won't use the word Exarch, as "specialist" is far more accurate and less Heretical

I quite like that idea

[Firepower]

Yeah, it occurred to me as I was writing it how much it sounded like the Eldar :lol:

 

I don't know if I can refine it enough to make sense in a compact amount of space.  Or I could go with the idea of the three Lodges and Longhouse like in the last post.  I'll try and write up a proper version of each and see how each one looks.