Empyrean Dragons

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The Empyreal Dragons

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<> Battle-Brother

Date:...............######.M##
Ref:................LBC//<>
Re:.................Adeptus Astartes - <>
Thought:............<>


Space Marine Chapter Founding 34th millenium
Homeworld Darastrix Okarthel
Fortress Darastrix Nakta
Allies Blood Ravens, Scholastika Psykana, scertain Inquisitors, Darastrix Subsector Navy and imperial Guard
Size (marines) Full strength (1000)
Specialty Anti-psyker specialization, Anti-demon specialization
Battle cry "Mamiss vur sepa, lae vyth vur ixen"(Body and Soul, as Steel and Fire)
Colours azure blue, white gold
Successor chapters Tempest Dragons, Mirage Dragons, Dragon Guard, Storm Dragons, Nova Dragons, Steel Dragons,...

The Empyrean Dragons are a Loyalist Chapter of Space Marines from the 7th Founding. They were thought lost 401.M34 because of the incident known as The Howling had caused the Sub-sector they entered in pursuit of an enemy, whose name is lost to the ravages of time, to be devoured by an enormous Warp-Storm, but were later able to find a single stable path that allowed them to reconnect with the Imperium in the later half of the 35th millennium.

 

Recent Events Timeline

300.M36 - 1st Crusade against the Ork Empire of Dregruk

322.M39 - The Angevin Crusade

139.M41 - 12th Black Crusade that ravages the Gothic Sector, known later as the Gothic War

300.M41 - 11th Crusade against the Ork Empire of Dregruk

392.M41 The Macharian Crusade

600.M41 - 12th Crusade against the Ork Empire of Dregruk

748.M41 - The Blood Star Campaign

777.M41 - The Achilus Crusade

780.M41 - Fourth Quadrant rebellion

784.M41 The Margin Crusade

813.M41 - Siege of Vraks

900.M41 - 13th Crusade against the Ork Empire of Dregruk

907.M41 - Badab War

941.M41 - The Second War for Armageddon

998.M41 - The Third War for Armageddon

998.M41 - Hive Fleet Leviathan

999.M41 - 13th Black Crusade

Origins of the Empyreal Dragons

Chapter record state that the chapter was created in the 34th millenium as a crusading force but was lost barely two centuries later lost during a Warp translation into at that time the unknown Darastrix Subsector in pursuit of a renegade Chaos Marine Warband dedicated to Tzeentch. Any attempts to locate or send a search party to discover the fate of the chapter was stopped by the massive warp storm that blocked the warp-route mere seconds after the fleet had dilated into the Warp. A millenium later the system that led to the closed subsector was being invaded by a great Waaagh! led by the Warboss Ead'rippa and his Blood Axez. In response to the invasion it is said that a company strong force of ______ and _______ were the fastest to respond to the call to aid. During the defence of the systems Agri-world right before the final defence forces and Space Marines would be overwhelmed the sky started to rain fire.

Homeworld

Homeworld Darastix Okarthel
Planet Class Death/Civilised World
Temperature min.-40°C max. +60°C
Gravity Standard 1.6G
Population Approx. 8.000.000.000.
Tithe Grade Aptus Non
Ruler Empyrean Dragons Space Marine Chapter
Location Segmentum Segmentum Obscurus
Sector Scarus Sector
Sub-sector Darastrix Subsector
System Darastrix System

The Chapter's homeworld of Darastrix Okarthel is primarily a Death-world that has trough the guidance and leadership of the Chapter risen from a Medieval to a partially space faring civilization. the larger city-forts contain landing pads for space bound vessels and in orbit there are even two Space Docks capable of production and maintenance of Cruiser size vessels.
The planet is twice the size of Holy Terra with a landmass of about 40%. This landmass is divided into a few continents connected to each other by small slips of land or island chains. The planets days last 48 hours and it requires 730 days for one year to pass ( so days, years and seasons last twice as long than the Earth's). The planet has a temperate climate with the temperature minimum at -40 and maximum of +60 Celsius. Many found the similarities amazing, but the planets gravity is also 1.6 G and the predominant species in the wilderness are draconic creatures of all shapes and sizes.
The Chapter's stewards the homeworld leaving the minute affairs tho the ruling classes while they set primary laws and goals that all social classes of the world must abide by.



Fortress-Monastery
Name: Ingellarir (The Dwelling)

The Hatchery: The underground cave exactly under the top of the tallest mountain peek. Within it fields of stasis pods containing Aspirants or fallen Brothers are constantly maintained, replaced and monitored.

Company Chapel: The most commonly used place of worship. Every Company has its own chapel located within its Company block. This worship is part of the Marine brethren's regime of discipline.

Penitorium: Marine Battle-Brothers guilty of any kind of transgression are held here as a form of remedial and penitent punishment.

Private Chambers: These are private offices and rooms used by the various Masters of the Order, including the Master of the Ships, Master of the Forge and Master of Ordnance.

Communal Dormitories: These contain the living and sleeping chambers of the Chapter's non-combat staff, including servants, technicians and naval personnel.

Guest Chambers: Relatively luxurious chambers reserved for important visitors such as members of the Administratum.

Foundries:The foundries are where the Marines manufacture and repair their weapons and equipment. The skilled workers of the foundries are known as Brother Artisans. Equipment is evaluated at an adjacent testing and weapon ground.

Shuttle Silos: The bulk of the Chapters fleet is located in orbit and the only vessels located within the fortress are those required to get to the fleet, mostly including couriers and transport vessels.

Teleportorium: These teleporter rooms are spread throughout the base in several places and are the primary means of moving between the fortress(the secondary being a mag-rail system) and the fleet. Teleportorium One is used to receive guests.

Launcher Pads: 32 aircraft are housed in underground hangers beneath the launcher pads, including six large transports and ten light vehicles.

Armoury: A large but crowded underground complex used to store ammunition and weaponry. The security for the whole complex falls to the Master of Ordnance and each armoury may only be entered in his presence, the doors requiring his gene-print and coded signal. In an emergency the Chapter Commander may override this with a secret spoken code.

Assimularum: This is the largest room in the complex besides the Great Hall. It is a vast and high vaulted room, in which the entire chapter can be gathered. It is used for mass meetings, ceremonies, religious festivals and special feasts.

Reclusiam: The Reclusiam is usually partitioned from the Assimularum by a screen, and is used only for cult activities. It is looked after by a religious officer known as a Reclusiarch and the chapter's holy relics and many of their most precious battle trophies are kept here. The Reclusiarch has an office off to one side, and there are three private chapels dedicated to the Chapters Unknown Primarch, The Emperor Deified and The Dragons Of The Past.

Refectory: This area is for the main dining procedures and includes kitchens, store-rooms, disposal units and purification vats. The strict and simple diet of the fighting warriors are augmented by a complex bio-chem designed to maintain their superior bodies. Meals are eaten in silence following prayers of thanks by the most senior brother present.

Oratorium: There are several Oratoriums spread throughout the base and are used for private meetings, lectures, briefings and small assemblies.

Librarium: The Librarium is more than a collection of books as it also acts as the central repository of records and the main seat of communications. The chapter's astropaths spend most of their time here, monitoring and broadcasting messages from the base. The Chief Librarian is in overall command of the written histories and communications within and without the base as well as the base defences. These defences are controlled from an armoured room in the Librarium. Based within this room are a fixed number of Communications Officers and a number of librarians, astropaths and technical assistants.

Cells: A cell is given to a brother to live in. They are arranged in blocks of ten, directly related to the members of a fighting squad with each of the ten blocks representing a company. Each block has a small administrative office and the private chambers of the captain. The Fortress contains more than 20 company blocks of cells.

Hydro-culture: This area contains a supply of local produce and exotic or seasonal vegetables collected and grown for the benefit of the chapter. The chapter maintains a large number of facilities above and under ground.

Terrarium: This space is dedicated to the maintenance and propagation of plants from throughout the galaxy. It provides both a restful area and a source for some of the drugs used in the Apothacarion.

Scriptory: There are several Scriptories spread around the base and they provide instant access to unclassified Librarium files. These are accessed through a data terminal and allows users to select, consult and record new entries for the main library.

Solitorium: The Solitorium is a remote location (outside the fortress) designed to provide brothers with a space for contemplation. It can be occupied for anything from a few days to years on end. Marines who seek promotion are expected to search their souls and go through self-deprivation for weeks on end to prove their worth.

Dungeon: The Dungeons lie deep beneath the Apothecarion and are home to the common prisoners, but not brothers who would be placed in the Penitorium. The walls are lined with reinforced diamantine although prisoners don't spend long in the dungeons before being taken to the Apothacarion for interrogation.
Generatorum: The power source for the fortress-monastery on Okarthel is a group of eight huge crystal-piles which penetrate the surface of the planet and convert underground heat into energy via a phased crystal interface (presumably there are many other ways of generating energy on this scale, this is but one example of the possibilities) and via ancient solar and wind farms that dot the mountain range.

Defence Laser: These lasers are mounted in armoured turrets and 58 of them remain permanently switched on. The other 173 may be brought to bear within 3 days of activation.

Local Defences: The perimeter of the mountain base is covered by 347 separate weapons turrets including five laser cannons and two missile launcher in each.

Missile Silos: Over 800 Missile Silos are spread over the surface of Darastrix Okarthel and are the main force of the Empyrean Dragons ground to orbit weapons. They are each controlled from the armoured room within the Librarium.

Catacombs: The catacombs are the burial place for the Empyrean Dragons and are home to many ancient heroes of the chapter.

Great Hall: The Great Hall is the first room you come to when entering the base. It is designed to awe the visiting guests and is the largest single room on the planet (Darastrix Okarthel). It contains many of the battle trophies of the Empyrean Dragons and paintings of famous battles are displayed on the walls. Ancient weaponry and armour, some say dating as far back as the The Age of Beheading, are on display behind plexi-glass.

Barbican: The Barbican is the massive gate house that leads into the Great Hall. This has a permanent guard to receive guests from overland, air and orbit.

Combat Doctrine

The Chapter is known for attacking weak points in the enemies defences and then performing Lightning Strikes on tactically important locations to cripple the enemies force and finish them of in the most effective way. the Empyrean Dragons rely on knowledge of their enemy and therefore constantly record any and all instances of confrontation of an enemy for later revision, reference and study. They rely on their Scouts to weaken the enemy after a possible Aerial Assault or Bombardment, to locate possible drop zones and eliminate any tactically relevant location or personnel. After with Battle-Brothers are deployed with precision and deadly accuracy and begin systematic annihilation of all resistance starting from command units. Because of their preferred foes being able to take much to be brought down and their ability to 'summon' reinforcements the Chapter sacrificed assault squads in its 3rd and 4th Company in favour of Devestator squads. All Battle-Brothers believe that the Codex must be adhered to, but they also believe that all available resources must be appropriately exploited in order to overcome their foes with a minimum of risk.

 

The Empyrean Dragons possess a rugged and flexible combat doctrine. Space Marines from this Chapter gain +2 Wounds and +5 to any one characteristic of the player's choice. Because the Chapter trains its recruits to the peak of their physical and mental abilities Empyrean Dragon characters can gain either the Autosanguine Talent or the Fearless Talent.

 

 

 

Solo Mode Ability: Warp-Dragon

 

Type: Passive         Required Rank:1

 

The Chapter has been trained to spot minute disturbance of the warp pressing in on realspace. This attunment to the empyrean grants the Battle-Brothers of this Chapter the Psyniscience Skill as a Trained Skill. This attunment also allows a Battle-Brother to re-roll any failed roll up to the number of their willpower bonus per encounter against creatures with connections to the empyrean (Daemonic or Psyker Trait).

 

Improvement: At Rank 3 and above the Battle-Brother gains an additional +10 to hit and +2 to Damage rolls when making melee attacks against any creature with psychic abilities. At Rank 5 and above, the Battle-Brother adds his Willpower Bonus when inflicting or reducing damage against creatures with psychic abilities (after all other damage calculation). At Rank 7 and above the Warp Weapons Trait no longer has any effect on the Battle-Brother.

 

 

 

Squad Mode Attack Pattern: Warp Slayer

 

Action: Free         Cost:3         Sustained: Yes 

 

The Chapter has time and time again fought against the malignancies of the warp and their servants and from those experiences they have learned much. This knowledge aids all the Battle-Brother within Support Range adding their Willpower Bonus to their Damage rolls and giving their attacks the Sanctified trait. The Battle-Brothers also gain a +10 to any Opposed Test (such as resisting psychic powers) made against creatures with psychic abilities.

 

Improvement: At Rank 3 the bonus to Opposed Tests increases to +20 and the damage inflicted is increased by the weapons respective skill bonus. At Rank 6 the Willpower Bonus is doubled.

 

 

 

Squad Mode Defensive Stance: My Mind is my Shield

 

Action: Half Action         Cost:3         Sustained: Yes 

 

With the knowledge of secret and forbidden lore, Space Marines of this Chapter are able to more easily avoid sorcery and witchcraft. While under the effect of this ability the Battle-Brother and any within Support Range of him receive a +10 bonus to all tests made to resist Psychic Powers and add their Willpower Bonus when reducing Damage from attacks from creatures with psychic abilities.

 

Improvement: At Rank 3 or more, the bonus to resist tests increases to +20. At Rank 6 the Willpower Bonus is doubled.

Chapter Traditions and Culture

The Chapter, having lost the knowledge of their Progenitor, worship The Emperor as an inspiration and a goal to aspire to along with the Heroes of the Chapter.

The Chapter is a Divergent Codex Chapter in the since that it has a larger number of specialist troops and their own doctrine, the Cult of The Will Of The Dragon. The Cult paces high-emphasis on self-reliance, knowledge, self-sacrifice, loyalty, adaptability and a strong belief that things can change for the better. Symbols prominent throughout the Cult iconography are draconic creatures, bladed weapons and fire. As such Flamers, Plasma Weapons, Power Weapons (excluding Thunder Hammers) are widely used throughout the Chapter. This preference of weapons lead to a great affinity for close to mid-range combat, although they are just as capable at other aspects of Space Marine battle doctrine.Because of the Chapters teachings on self-reliance all Battle-Brothers are capable of moderate maintenance and repair of their armour and weapons, leaving the Chapters artificers with enough time to produce great works of technology. As a result, the Chapter has an high number of Master-Crafted Weapons, Artificer Armour and Master-Crafted Plasma Weapons.

The Chapters Cult has shaped many of the Chapter to believe that they can make a difference no matter how great the odds or hopeless a situation. This is seen in many aspects of their lives: they strive to better themselves trough the arts, martial discipline and the constant betterment of oneself and each other. Because of this all Battle-brothers have spent some time with each other and this has help them understand supplement there own weaknesses and use their strengths to their fullest.



"The Gathering of the Great Flight"- is similar to the Feast of Blades that at the there is a contest for a champion who will carry a Chapter Relic Sword and Armour, but that is where the similarities end. The Gathering is also meant to deepen the bonds of brotherhood amongst the Chapter and its Successors. This is done with competitions of martial and mental prowess. The Gathering is also a chance for the Chapters to reforge old bonds, revive old rivalries and share tactics and strategies and information on vanquished and new enemies. But the MOST important part of the Gathering is the GREAT HOARDING, a donation of wargear and gene-seed from each participating chapter and is sealed in "The Vault of Antiquity", to be opened at a "Time of Rebirth"(when a chapter has lost much of its wargear and numbers) or at a "Time of Creation" (when there is a chance of the Vault overflowing, at that time a Crusading Chapter is created and sent out into the Imperium to hunt down the enemies of Mankind).

The Chapter as well after the Gathering reforms its self: The Librarians compete with amongst each other for the honour of becoming the Chief Librarian. The Scouts would attempt the Trial of Blooding, after which they would join the chapter companies as reserves, the Blooded Scouts would compete to join the companies as full fledged Battle-Brothers while all Battle-Brothers would would compete amongst each other for the honour of being named Captain, Veteran or Sergeant. Then, with the aid of the Librarians all squads would be rechosen and all companies reformed until the next Gathering two decades later at the earliest.




Chapter Daily Rituals

0400 - Morning Prayer - Led by the Company Chaplain, the Space Marines renew their oaths to the Emperor and the company relics are displayed. This time is also used to give out orders, announcements and other administrative tasks.

0430 - Morning Firing Rites - The Space Marines engage in target practice with their personal and squad weaponry, awards and punishments are dispensed for consistently good or poor accuracy respectively.

0630 - Battle Practice - Generally this is close quarters oriented, however live fire or hazardous environment training may be done instead (or as well).

1130 - Midday Maintenance Rituals - Each Space Marine is expected to maintain his own power armour and weapons, to study the tehnology of the Imperium and its implementation and it is often checked by the Chapter's Techmarines.

1200 - Midday Prayer - In addition to prayer any injured Space Marines can report to the Apothecary.

1230 - Midday Meal - Normally local wildlife killed during the morning activities.

1245 - Tactical Indoctrination - This can take many forms, from information on a new alien species or technology to strategy. A debrief of the morning's battle is common as well.

1430- Battle Practice - This focuses more on combined tactics in conjunction with vehicles, Dreadnoughts and devastator squads and normally includes a trial of a new tactic introduced during the tactical indoctrination.

1930 - Evening Prayer - In addition to prayer, gene-seed testing may occur at this point.

2000 - Evening Meal - A feast (by normal human standards) is provided by the Chapter serfs, and some Chapter Masters may allow alcohol to be consumed.

2030 - Night Firing Exercises - If the chapter is based on a planet where there is no perceptible night or they are based on a fleet, firing exercises are under taken in exotic environments such as underwater, through dense fog or smoke or in zero gravity.

2215 - Research and Discussion - The Battle-Brothers during this time either:
1.Gather in groups to discuss implementation of new tactics, strategies or tehnology that can aid the Chapter and/or the Imperium as a whole. The gathering is usually just among squadmates or on rare occasions among all available Battle-Brothers.
2.Spend their time amongst the ancient tomes of knowledge of the Librarium, listening to the tales of the Brothers entombed in their Dreadnoughts or experimenting with new technologies with the guidance of the Chapter's Techmarines in the Dragons Forge.

2300 - Evening Maintenance Rituals - Each Space Marine is expected to maintain his own power armour and weapons, to study the technology of the Imperium and its implementation and it is often checked by the Chapter's Techmarines.

2330 - Free Time - Space Marines are permitted this time to reflect upon their duty to The Emperor, however many Chapter Masters regard free time as a frivolous waste, and a dangerous distraction in the extreme.

0000 - Rest Period - Space Marines are allocated 4 hours in which to sleep.

Current Status

The Chapter is currently at full strength and is preparing for a Gathering. The cause of this gathering of force is a Crusade that is in the making with 4 Battle Companies from the Chapter and each of their successors that will be the Space Marines contribution to the war effort. The Crusades purpose is the eradication of the Ork menace that is infesting the Sector once and for all.

Organization

Headquarters

The current headquarters staff as of 999.M41 are as follows:

Chapter Master Dragon Guard Reclusiam The Dragons Priesthood

- Veles Drakon The Great Dragon King

- Brother Apollo The Dragons Chosen - 35 Dragon Guards - 5 Veteran Dreadnoughts

- Proteus Dragon Arch-Chaplain - 7 Chaplains - 4 Chaplain Aspirants - 4 Chaplain Dreadnoughts

- Balin Arch-Priest of the Gene-Forge - 19 Dragon Priests - 24 Priest Aspirants

Keepers of the Dwelling Librarium The Dragon Savants Fleet Command

- Grandsire Hector Master of the Dwellings - 46 Dragon Keepers - 11 Keeper Aspirants - 1600 Chapter Equirries and Servitors

- Chief-Firecaller Huon Paton Master of the Firecallers - 10 Epistolaries - 23 Codiciers - 36 Lexicanium - 41 Acolytum - 7 Librarian Dreadnoughts

- Arch-Savant Oisin Master of the Firemake - 34 Techmarines - 39 Techmarine Aspirants - 268 Servitor variations - 39 Predator variants - 12 Dragon Predators - 8 Rhinos - 9 Vindicators - 14 Whirlwinds - 23 Land Raider variants - 34 Gunship variants - 26 Centurion warsuits - 24 Land Speeder variants - Bikes and Attack Bikes

- Brother Gawain Master of the Flightscape - Flight Guard - 3 Battle Barges - 10 Strike Cruisers - 29 Rapid Strike vessels - 48 Thunderhawk Gunships - 32 Stormraven Gunships - numerous minor non-warp capable vessels

 

Companies

The current Companies and Captains as of 999.M41 are as follows:

 

Veteran Company Battle Companies 1st Company 2nd Company 3rd Company 4th Company 5th Company

"Dragonborn" - First Dragon Duke Ockham Master of Triumph - Company Command Squad - 20 Librarians - 58 Vanguard Veterans - 62 Sternguard Veterans - 7 Venerable Dreadnoughts - Land Raiders - Predators - Rhino variants - Land Speeders

"Watchers" - Dragon Duke Walganus Master of the Watchers - Company Command Squad - 3 Librarians - 6 Tactical Squads - 2 Devastator Squads - 2 Assault Squads - 27 Blooded Scouts - 21 Scouts - 5 Dreadnoughts - Rhinos - Land Speeders - Bikes

"Stormraisers" - Dragon Duke Urien Master of the Hoard - Company Command Squad - 5 Librarians - 4 Tactical Squads - 4 Devastator Squads - 2 Assault Squads - 19 Blooded Scouts - 13 Scouts - 4 Dreadnoughts - Rhinos - Land Speeders - Bikes

"Honourbringers" - Dragon Duke Vico Master of the Hunt - Company Command Squad - 4 Librarians - 4 Tactical Squads - 4 Devastator Squads - 2 Assault Squads - 18 Blooded Scouts - 21 Scouts - 2 Dreadnoughts - Rhinos - Land Speeders - Bikes

"Loreguards" - Dragon Duke Hume Master of the Realms - Company Command Squad - 4 Librarians - 6 Tactical Squads - 2 Devastator Squads - 2 Assault Squads - 25 Blooded Scouts - 26 Scouts - 3 Dreadnoughts - Rhinos - Land Speeders - Bikes

 

Battle Companies Scout Company 6th Company 7th Company 8th Company 9th Company 10th Company

"Ritemasters" - Dragon Duke Renan Master of the Ways - Company Command Squad - 2 Librarians - 10 Tactical Squads - 17 Blooded Scouts - 24 Scouts - 4 Dreadnoughts - Rhinos - Razorbacks - Bikes

"Lightningriders" - Dragon Duke Callias Master of the Lands - Company Command Squad - 3 Librarians - 10 Tactical Squads - 20 Blooded Scouts - 27 Scouts - 5 Dreadnoughts - Rhinos - Razorbacks - Land Speeders

"Furyblades" - Dragon Duke Gottfried Master of the Tempest - Company Command Squad - 3 Librarians - 10 Assault Squads - 24 Blooded Scouts - 26 Scouts - Rhinos - Razorbacks - Land Speeders - Bikes

"Hellbearers" - Dragon Duke Hegel Master of the Reliquary - Company Command Squad - 2 Librarians - 10 Devastator Squads - 22 Blooded Scouts - 25 Scouts - 4 Dreadnoughts - Rhinos - Razorbacks

"Younglings" - Dragon Duke Kant Master of the Younglings - Company Command Squad - 36 Blooded Scouts - 70 Scouts - 135 Neophytes - Bikes






List of Chapter Council member titles:

Unit affiliation Codex Title Chapter Title Council Member HQ

Chapter Master Great Dragon King Veles Drakon

Chaplaincy Master of Sanctity Dragon Arch-Chaplain Proteus

Armoury Master of the Forge Master of the Firemake Arch-Savant Oisin

Apothecarion Master of the Apothecarion Arch-Priest of the Gene-Forge Arch-Priest Balin

Librarium Chief Librarian Master of the Firecallers Huon Paton

Keeper of the Dwellings Grandsire Hector

Master of the Fleet Master of the Flightscape Brother Gawain

1st Company Regent Master of Triumph First Dragon Duke Ockham

2nd Company Master of the Watch Master of the Watchers Dragon Duke Walganus

3rd Company Master of the Arsenal Master of the Hoard Dragon Duke Urien

4th Company - Master of the Hunt Dragon Duke Vico

5th Company Master of the Marches Master of the Realms Dragon Duke Hume

6th Company Master of the Rites Master of the Ways Dragon Duke Renan

7th Company Chief Victualler Master of the Lands Dragon Duke Callias

8th Company Lord Executioner Master of the Tempest Dragon Duke Gottfried

9th Company Master of Relics Master of the Reliquary Dragon Duke Hegel

10th Company Master of the Recruits Master of the Younglings Dragon Duke Kant

 

 

 

 

Company Command Squad - is consisted of the Company Captain, Apothecary, Chaplain, Librarian, Company Standard Bearer and Champion, a Veteran Sergeant and the Captains Guard, of up to 10 Battle-Brothers, chosen from the best of the Company Battle-Brothers.

 

Veteran Squad - is consisted of Veteran Squad Sergeant, Apothecary, and 8 Veteran Battle-Brothers. Of the eight one is designated Second-in-Command, 1 is a Heavy Weapons Troopers, 2 are Special Weapon Troopers and one carries the Squad Banner, usually a Weapon Trooper.

 

Tactical Squad - is consisted of Squad Sergeant, Apothecary, and 8 Battle-Brothers. Of the eight one is designated Second-in-Command, 1 is a Heavy Weapons Troopers, 2 are Special Weapon Troopers and one carries the Squad Banner, usually a Weapon Trooper.

 

Devastator Squad - is consisted of Squad Sergeant, Apothecary, and 8 Battle-Brothers. Of the eight one is designated Second-in-Command and 4 are Heavy Weapon Troopers, the Sergeant usually carries the Squad Banner.

 

Assault Squad - is consisted of Squad Sergeant, Apothecary, and 8 Battle-Brothers. Of the eight one is designated Second-in-Command and 2 are Special Weapon Troopers and one carries the Squad Banner, aldough the Banner is rarely carried into battle.

 

Scout Squad - is consisted of Squad Sergeant, and up to 9 Scouts. Usually the squad has a combination of bolters, shotguns and sniper rifles, with everyone possessing bolt pistols and combat knives.

 

 

Blooded Scouts - are Scouts that have passed the Ascension Trials and are awaiting their time to replenish the losses of battle

Savant - are the Empyrean Dragons equivalent of Techmarines of other Space Marine Chapters.

Firecaller - are the Empyrean Dragons equivalent of Librarians of other Space Marine Chapters.

Flight - Empyrean Dragons term for Chapter

Clan - term for Company

Clutch - term for Squad

Sire - meant for serfs, Aspirants and Neophytes when addressing any Battle-Brother

Geneseed

The knowledge of the Progenitor of the Empyrean Dragons is lost to the ages, but few speculate that they are a successor chapter of the Salamanders. What Imperial records can confirm is that during the initial testing faze all subjects that have finished the organ implantation process have had their psychic presence enhanced along with a minor warp-sense. Subjects with greater psychic potential were more strongly affected then non-psyker subjects. This was suspected to be flaw but was shown has a great tool for the chapter. They were able to sense each other and other creatures and humans of greater psychic presence. The result of this phenomenon was an increase of adaptation and response to unexpected circumstances and a greater sense of unity in the subjects behavior.
Chapter Demenour: Brothers in Battle

Recruitment

Aspirants for the Chapter are chosen not just from the most physically and mentally, but from the most psychically gifted children from their homeworld. Trials of the Aspirant

 

The First Trial - an Aspirant must pass a sequence of physical (musculature, eye reflex, dexterity,...) and mental trials (intelligence, psychological profile, psychic level,...) that test the Aspirants for susceptibility to the temptations of the mind and body and to test the Aspirants for any genetic defects and the chance of Gene-seed rejection. This part of the Trials is controlled by the Apothecaries, their serfs and a Chaplain.

 

The Second Trial - pits the Aspirants against the Battle-Brothers in challenges of mind and body. They are tested in a variety of challenges that pit the Aspirants against a series of puzzles, physical and mental challenges created by the Battle-Brothers far beyond the preliminary testing.The Aspirant aren't expected to succeed in these tests, rather they are measured in degrees of failure, although such rare instances when the Battle-Brother is bested are celebrated for they reveal Aspirants that will later become legends for the deeds they shall perform. These challenges vary from Battle-Brother to Battle-Brother, from Squad to Squad.

 

The Third Trial - is the main test for acceptance in to the Chapter. In this Trial all of the remaining Aspirants are brought to a disclosed location devoid of civilization and safety and are challenged to bring one trophy kill from the many types of draconic creatures (Drakes, Wyverns, Dragonnes, Lindworms, Coldrakes, Linnorms, Draconians, Dragonspawns or other warp-touched beings) that roam the location, either as a group or as individuals. Upon the last Aspirant returning with his prize at the their beginning location the Battle-Brothers led by their Librarian besiege the minds of the Aspirants and those that withstand this last great nightmare are taken away to the Fortress-Monastery to begin their true training as Neophytes while those that fail join as serfs, or in the most tragic case as servitors.

 

The Last Trial - the final trial that the Aspirant must face is within the Fortress-Monastery. The Aspirants are left to traverse trough a winding maze filed with psychic artifacts that leads to the Hatchery. Those of corrupted will or mind would never survive the journey down the passageways. Upon finally reaching the Hatchery the Aspirant gaze upon a field of giant stasis pods similar to eggs. Each Aspirant would be brought before a pod and would enter it to begin his transformation. The Aspirants would be infused with the Chapters gene-seed within the pod, and given enough time the Aspirant within would grow into a full Astartes within 2 Terran years. But the proper use of the pods has long been lost and so a small number of Aspirants are unable to exit their pods for years, decades, sometimes even centuries.

 

After the last Trial is performed the Aspirants families are informed of their children's fate, and in the rarest of cases their remains are given back to the family.

Regular and Special Equipment

All of the Empyrean Dragons upon joining a Battle Company are traditionally gifted with a Sanctified Blade, a blessed weapon forged by the Chapters Forge-masters that is capable of wounding even beings from the Immaterium. The blade can be carried by the Battle-Brother instead of a combat knife.

                                                                                                    dmg    pen     clip   rld    special

Dragons Talon (Sanctified Blade)                                  melee 1d10+4    5                        Power Field, Balanced, Sanctified, Felling (1)

Dragongun (Drakon Pattern Hellgun)           100m s/3/- basic 1d10+4     4       60   Half    Reliable, Felling (1), Sanctified

Dragonbreath Vambrace (Forearm Plasma)                  basic 2d10+2     5       16   2Full   Flame,Spray


Penance Rounds - Trough sacrifice of penitent heretics on the Altar of Azure Fire a strange phenomenon has occurred. Depending on the accused's wish for penance, once they are devoured by the flames a proportionate amount of sanctified ash remains. The Ecclesiarchy, Inquisition and the Chapter divide the ash at the end of each lunar cycle amongst themselves. The most known use of the ash is for bolter ammunition and its effectiveness has been tested and proven countless times on the battlefield. Grants the bolt weapon that is using this ammo the Sanctified bonus.


Chapter Fleet

 

3 Battle Barges

Hunter of Vengeance

Seeker of Truth

The Lord of Fire

 

10 Strike Cruisers

Lord of Light

The Glorious Truth

Black Wind

Fire and Steel

Glorious Scorn

Herald Of Salvation

Merciless Hunter

Flame of Remembrance

Silent Crusader

Lance of Judgement

 

29 Rapid Strike vessels

Interaction with the Legios

Friends

The Chapter has allies in the Inquisition and the Gray Knights because of the aid they gave during the millennia of combating the Demon.

The Empyreal Dragons Successor Chapters and the Subsector Navy and Guard elements have always been on close terms since the time of The Great Storm.

The Scholastica Psykana has had a strong presence in the Subsector since its release from the storm, allowing a great influx of psychiclly gifted citizens that are constantly being sent to Holy Terra every decade. The Chapter and its successors have always been vigilant for psykers for recruitment, and while some are found acceptable for recruitment as Novitiates or chapter Serfs, many more are sent to Terra and from their numbers great Psykers have arisen during the ages. Because of this the Schola has always been on good terms with the Chapter.

During Since The Great Storm many of the Crusades Navigators had been lost so the remaining Navigators were, for the sake of the Crusade and safety of the Subsector, forced to form a new Navis Nobilite family. After The Storm the family has expanded throughout the Galactic North-North-East but it has always remained loyal to the Subsector and the Chapter that has kept them safe during those trying times.



Enemies

The constant and ever present enemy of the Chapter has always been the denizens of the Warp and their servants. The Chapter has had a long lasting hatred for the servants of the Changer of Ways and recent conflicts have attracted the Chapters hate and ire on the worshipers of She Who Thirsts after a series of planetary purges and defences alongside the the Inquisition.

The Ork clan of Blood Axez has since the slaughter and loss of their Waaagh! have attempted to reach the Chapters Subsector to wage war against what they belive is a foe that might be worthy for them. The assaults on the only know and possible route to the Subsector have been fierce and bloody and were the reason for the creation of the Dragon Guard Successor Chapter.

Unknown to many beyond the Subsector the Dark Eldar have been able to send raids on occasion to attack frontier colonies and minning expeditions causing the Chapter and its Subsector allies to form patrol routes and iron curtains around each system. Since that time countless space battles and rescue operations had been sent against them and each encounter has caused both sides to increase their efforts to annihilate each other.


 

 

 

Empyrean Dragons Advances

Empyrean Dragons Chapter Advances
Advance                                                  Cost         Type          Prerequisites
Logic                                                        100           Skill          ---------------------
Logic + 10                                                100           Skill          Logic
Logic + 20                                                100           Skill          Logic + 10
Tactics                                                     100           Skill          ---------------------
Tactics + 10                                             100           Skill          Tactics
Tactics + 20                                             100           Skill          Tactics + 10
Lore: Forbidden (Choose One)               100           Skill          ---------------------
Lore: Forbidden (Choose One) + 10       100           Skill          Lore: Forbidden (Choose One)
Lore: Forbidden (Choose One) + 20       100           Skill          Lore: Forbidden (Choose One) + 10
Ciphers (Choose One)                            100           Skill          ---------------------
Ciphers (Choose One) + 10                    100           Skill          Ciphers (Choose One)
Ciphers (Choose One) + 20                    100           Skill          Ciphers (Choose One) + 10
Psyniscience                                           200           Skill          ---------------------
Hardy                                                      400          Talent          T 40
Jaded                                                      400         Talent          WP 30
Autosanguine                                          700         Talent          ---------------------
Scourge of Heretics                               1000        Talent          ---------------------
Strong Minded                                       1000         Talent          WP 30, Resistance (Psychic)
Slayer of Daemons                                 900          Talent          ---------------------
Abhor the Witch                                      700          Talent          Adeptus Astartes
Hatred (Chaos Space Marines)               500         Talent          ---------------------
Hatred (Daemons)                                   500         Talent          ---------------------



Empyrean Dragons Pasts

Empyrean Dragons Pasts
1d10 Roll
Result Past Experience

1   Thunderhawk Gunner: You have served your Chapter as the gunner for one of the powerful Thunderhawk gunships. You have a unique

     perspective on the battlefield, having fought in the air, on the ground, and in space.

2   Service in the Fleet: The Battle-Brother spent years serving as part of the crew aboard one of the Chapter starships. Unlike many of his brethren,

     he grew accustomed to fighting his battles across tens of thousands of kilometers of hard vacuum, rather than face to face. His patience is

     legendary even amongst his brethren, and he may be apt to think on a much larger strategic scale than his fellows.

3   Into the Cities of Death: The urban war zones of the 41st Millennium are amongst the most grueling environments in which to make war. You have

     fought a campaign in such a place and emerged battered and bloody, but victorious; a better warrior, more able to face the numerous foes of

     Mankind.

4   Purge of the Unclean: You have been responsible for purging unclean elements from the Imperium such as tainted Imperial Guard units or other

     allies which have been touched by the Warp or mutation. It is a hard task to kill men while they still profess loyalty to the God-Emperor, but one you    

     did willingly.

5   Back from the Dead: Your last battle before taking the Apocryphon Oath was against a mighty champion of the Ruinous Powers and you believed

     you had defeated him in what for you was an honorable close quarters battle. Only later, after you had taken up your Vigil, did you learn that

     somehow the enemy yet lives. Perhaps some vile gift of the Warp has re-knit his form or animated its dead flesh, but whatever the details, your

     honour is slighted while it lives on.

6   Seconded to the Inquisition: You fought alongside a cell of Inquisitorial Acolytes whose master requested your Chapter’s aid to destroy a  

     particularly pernicious threat he had uncovered. Through your deeds, the cell was successful in its mission and an entire world was saved from  

     damnation.

7   Banner Bearer: You were once chosen to carry a standard, possibly a back banner for your squad or even the prestigious company banner. This

     selection was a great honour, and one not easily relinquished until you joined the Deathwatch.

8   By Thine Own Hands: All Salamanders are taught the ways of the forge and the furnace, and instructed in the methods by which weapons are

     created. Your wargear is testament to that, with much of it constructed or artificed through your own skill. Your weapons and armour bear intricate      

     designs of serpents and flame, and the tiniest details of their function are such that they are a perfect fit for you.

9   Servant of the Librarium: Many Librarians fulfill the ranks of the Blood Ravens, and its Librariums are suitably larger than most Chapters as a  

     result. You have served in one of the Chapter’s Librariums and come into contact with its Librarians and lore keepers, giving you access to an  

     extensive range of knowledge.

 

10   +++ARCHIVE DELETED+++: You have faced the denizens of the Warp made corporeal, and though all memories of the battle were scoured from  

        your mind, the scars you still bear pay homage to the glories you achieved.





Empyrean Dragons
1d10
Results     Names
     1          Camus
     2          Lucian
     3           Ector
     4           Rand
     5        Demonax
     6           Uther
     7         Lailoken
     8          Isidore
     9       Palomides
    10       Caradoc

Empyrean Dragons Primarch's Curse

 

Draconian Savagery

It is unknown whether the controlled savagery of the Empyrean Dragons came originally from their gene-sire, or from the wild and fierce people of Okarthel themselves, or even some combination of the two, but whatever the cause, there is a ferocity within their hearts and their blood that grants them great power, but which also threatens to consume all that they are and damn them. All Empyrean Dragons are watchful for this necessary yet insidious savagery, and it is only with great discipline, humble introspection and often the watchfulness of their Battle-Brothers that they can hope to master themselves.

 

Level 1 (A Moment Unrestrained): The Battle-Brother’s discipline begins to slip and falter, allowing brief moments of untamed ferocity to emerge in the heat of battle. Often, the Battle-Brother will not even know that he is succumbing to this savagery, and it requires the presence of his Brothers to warn him of his failure. When Charging an enemy, the Battle-Brother must pass an Ordinary (+10) Willpower Test or become consumed by a reckless fury, taking unnecessary risks and pursuing the enemy until they are slain. If the Battle- Brother is in Squad Mode when he succumbs to this fury, another member of the Kill-team may spend a point of Cohesion to take a Challenging (+0) Fellowship Test calm the enraged Empyrean Dragons Space Marine down.

 

Level 2 (Suppressed Rage): Within the darkest reaches of the Battle-Brother’s mind lurks the shadow of his rage and fury, seeking any opportunity to emerge, and causing the Battle-Brother to become belligerent and quick to anger. This imposes a –10 penalty on all Fellowship based tests the Battle-Brother attempts, and requires that he take a Challenging (+0) Willpower Test when challenged, confronted or opposed by an ally; failure means that the Battle-Brother’s anger boils up and is released in some way, from an enraged outburst, the beginnings of a feud, or, if the test was failed by 3 or more degrees, physical violence.

 

Level 3 (Uncontrolled Battle-lust): All Empyrean Dragons revel in the glory of battle to some degree or another, but this Battle-Brother is incapable of suppressing or redirecting that lust for combat, and can only think of ways to sate that desire. The Battle-Brother will seek combat at every opportunity, and become restless and ill tempered when there is no battle to be found. The Willpower Tests to resist the 1st and 2nd level of the Primarch’s Curse suffer an additional –20 penalty.

 

 

 

Empyrean Dragons Psychic Powers

The following section presents a set of Psychic Powers unique to the Librarians of the Empyrean Dragons Chapter. Details of how to use Psychic Powers may be found on page 189 of the Deathwatch Rulebook. Only Empyrean Dragon Librarians have access to Empyrean Dragon Psychic Powers. These powers may be purchased with Experience Points, provided the Librarian meets the power’s Prerequisites and XP Cost as detailed on Table Empyrean Dragons Psychic Powers.

Empyrean Dragons
Psychic Powers                            

Power                                              XP Cost          Prerequisites

THE DRAGONS HAMMER                 2000             WP 40+
FLAMES FROM WITHIN                    1500             Rank 3, WP 45+
WRATH OF THE DRAGONS             1000             WP 40+
DEVOURING FLAME                      1000             Rank 3, WP 40+
DRAGON OF JUDGEMENT               2000             Rank 5, WP 60+
SPIRITS OF THE WILD                     2000             Rank 5, WP 50+
DRAGONS ROAR                             1500              -



THE DRAGONS HAMMER

Action: Half Action

Opposed: No

Range: 10m x Psy Rating

Sustained: No

Description: Summoning up a brutal burst of energy, the Librarian smashes objects and batters structures with raw psychic power. Against individuals, this power can knock them down and break their bones, but against inanimate objects it can rend apart walls and buckle bulkheads. The Librarian picks a point within range and line of sight as the impact point of the The Dragons Hammer. Any individuals within 3m of this point will be hit by the concussive blast unless they can successfully make a Dodge Test to leap out of the way. Those hit suffer Impact Damage equal to the Librarian’s Psy Rating x 3 and must pass a Challenging (+0) Agility Test or be knocked prone. Objects such as walls, supports, and doors are far more badly affected suffering Impact Damage equal to 1d10 x Psy Rating ignoring Armour Points. This can be used to punch holes in objects (such as bulkheads) if it does enough Damage to destroy them (creating a breech 3m in diameter), or bring down buildings by destroying supports. This ability can also be used effectively against vehicles, damaging them just as it would a bulkhead or blast door.


FLAMES FROM WITHIN

Action: Full

Opposed: No

Range: Self

Sustained: Yes

Description: The Librarian draws upon the unyielding spirit that burns within him, becoming an fire that feeds on the attacks of his enemies. There is little that can strike a Librarian down when he manifests this power. The Librarian gains a Force Field (see page 166 of the Deathwatch Rulebook) with a protection rating equal to 6 x Psy Rating. This force field cannot overload and has the Flame quality.


WRATH OF THE DRAGONS

Action: Half

Opposed: No

Range: 2d10 metres x PR

Sustained: No

Description: The Librarian conjures with flame and fury the a terrible draconian beast that dwell upon his homeworld, and drives it towards his enemies. The roiling flames twist and writhe into the form of an ancient and powerful beast, its malevolent visage inspiring dread. This power conjures a 1 metre wide line out to its maximum range which strikes everything along its path. Any creature, friend or foe, or object struck by this power takes 3d10+5 Energy Damage with a Pen equal to the Librarian’s Psy Rating, unless they spend their reaction and pass a Challenging (+0) Dodge Test. In addition, any creature or horde damaged but not killed/destroyed by this power must take a Fear Test as if exposed to a Fear (1) Creature.


DEVOURING FLAME

Action: Half

Opposed: No

Range: 50 metres x PR

Sustained: No

Description: The Librarian summons a torrent of psychic fire to burn and char his foes. He may pick a point within range and engulf it in a cloud of flame with a radius of 2 metres x PR. All those within the area will suffer 1d10 Energy damage x PR. In addition, all those within the area of effect must make Challenging (+0) Agility Tests or be set on fire (see page 260).


DRAGON OF JUDGEMENT

Action: Extended (5)

Opposed: No

Range: 1 kilometer x PR

Sustained: No

Description: With the power of an orbital barrage, the Librarian calls down a mighty draconic effigy of psychic energy with the power to lay waste to entire towns. The Librarian chooses a point within range and calls down the Dragon. The Dragon has a radius of 100 metres x PR. Anything within the area of effect is subjected to a moderate earthquake, inflicting 3d10 x PR damage on all structures, possibly causing them to collapse. Creatures within the area must make a Hard (–20) Agility Test to remain standing. This power cannot be used Fettered, and does not work indoors. This power is extraordinary taxing and inflicts 1d5 levels of Fatigue on the Librarian. In addition, the Librarian may not attempt to use the power again for at least 24 hours. At the GM’s discretion, falling buildings and raining debris may inflict 3d10 I damage on those in the area of effect who fail a Challenging (+0) Agility Test.


SPIRITS OF THE WILD

Action: Full

Opposed: No

Range: 50 metres x PR

Sustained: Yes

Description: The Librarian calls upon the spirits of the land, air, and the souls of long-dead warriors to bring some fragment of the wilderness of Okarthel to the battlefield he walks upon. It is said that so long as these forces of nature fight alongside them, the Empyrean Dragons will always be victorious. The Librarian and all his allies within range gain a bonus to all tests equal to 2xPR, while all enemies within that range suffer the same value as a penalty. In addition, every turn the Librarian spends an action to sustain this power, he may summon a single ball of flame against any single enemy within range, dealing 2d10+PR damage with a Pen of 4 and the Flame quality, though the target may attempt to dodge this attack.


DRAGONS ROAR

Action: Half Action

Opposed: No

Range: 10m x Psy Rating Radius

Sustained: No

Description: The Librarian calls to the Warp and draws forth a mighty cry like a force of nature to cow his foes with fear and shatter their resolve. This cry is also a potent weapon against Warp spawn and can shake the ties which bind them to the material plane sending them back from whence they came. When this power is manifested, a number of targets up to the Librarian’s Psy Rating within its range count the Librarian as having the Fear (2) Trait for this turn and must make a Fear Test if they can draw line of sight to him or hear his cry (unless they would otherwise be immune to the effects of Fear). In addition, any creatures with the Warp Instability Trait must make an Instability Test (see page 136 of the DEATHWATCH Core Rulebook) with a penalty to their Willpower equal to 2 x Psy Rating. If there is a choice of targets within range and some have the Daemonic Trait, the Librarian must choose these targets first before those without the trait.
 

 

 

Empyrean Dragons Chapter Trappings
The following are Chapter Trappings that may be taken by Empyrean Dragons Battle-Brothers.
DRAGONS SIGILS

The Draconian Cult defines the Empyrean Dragons, teaching them the virtues that make them warriors worthy of the Unknown Primarch and The Emperor. The symbols associated with the cult—the hammer and anvil, the flame, and the scales and visages of the powerful draconian beasts who stalk the varied landscapes of Okarthel are recurring features on the wargear, banners, heraldry and personal affectations of Empyrean Dragon Battle-Brothers, particularly the veteran Dragon Guard, who commonly wear great mantles of draconic-hide to signify their status in battle. Listed here are some representative sigils, most of which will have been crafted by their owner’s own hand:

FLAME: Sometimes painted or carved onto armour, sometimes intricately plated with polished pseudo-gold, or carried as metallic emblems upon chains or cords, the flame signifies singlemindedness, representing both the potency of the spirit and the desolation of a raging inferno that purifies all. Those who bear the flame are add + 3 to any Skill rolls.

DRAGONS: The Empyrean Dragons often adorn their wargear with an engraved image of their Chapter namesake. These small talisman-like icons remind the bearer of their Chapter’s heritage and their constant drive to purge corruption without as well as within. Bolstered by his conviction, a Empyrean Dragon Battle-Brother who possesses an Icon of the Dragon gains a significant resistance to the taint of Chaos. Any time the Battle-Brother would gain a number of Corruption Points, he may make a Challenging (+0) Willpower Test. If this Test is successful, the number of Corruption Points gained is reduced by 1 per degree of success.

TOOLS OF THE FORGE: Whether appearing as crossed hammers or a stylized anvil, or any other arrangement, this symbol is a common affectation for those who excel at forge-craft, the intricacy of the design itself a testament to the bearer’s own talent. Add + 5 to Tech-Use Tests.


Non-Astartes

Recap Chart

Author

< Comments on Chapter and positive feedback appreciated and welcome. Use of Warhammer 40k Pen&Paper RPGs as reference and idea source.>>

Related Articles

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[Gripharius]

I think that, if you really want input from others, you need to go through what you have written and fix the spelling and grammar
errors.  It is very difficult to read, especially at the beginning.

 

Also, I think that -- at this point -- less is more.  There is a whole lot of information thrown into your first post. After the first few paragraphs, it was so hard to read and understand that I gave up.  Then I started skimming it and realized I didn't really care about the exact location of
the "Hatchery" in the Chapter's Fortress-Monastery.

 

If you haven't read the Octaguide, I highly recommend that you do.  I would also suggest that maybe you should start with one of the Codex Chapter Summaries that are discussed by Octavulg in the Octaguide.  Organize your thoughts, strip the Chapter down to its core elements, and get people interested in it before discussing the climate of its homeworld. 

 

[Shinzaren]

100% agree with Gripharius. The name really drew me in, but you have so much information posted in such a seemingly haphazard way that it is impossible to read or comment on. I will try and go through it, but it is difficult. Just start with an outline or the roughest of drafts. The Core ideas, as Griph suggests. 

[Aegnor]

Agree with the above. The hard thing for many people when they come to write something to tell others about a topic is that they want to their audience EVERYTHING. That's understandable - there's a lot of time and effort gone into preparing all of that.

 

BUT - a lot of that material won't be of interest to an audience. The work in preparing it all is by no means wasted - you like it and you've written it down for your own reference and amusement, which is really the most important thing in this whole process. But it also provides you a really solid base to start constructing your narrative. Take Tolkien for example - he fleshed out, worried at, plotted, mapped and researched his created universe for decades. But when he came to tell us a story about that world he didn't dump all that on the reader. It formed the foundation he could draw on to make his story richer but it wasn't the story itself.

 

Your IA is a bit the same. It doesn't need to contain everything you've plotted out about your chapter. Instead draw on that to distil down a shorter article that tells us the essence of who your chapter is and what they are like and do. If your audience wants more info, you'll be well placed to provide it from your reference material.

[NightrawenII]

LOL. That's a lot apologising and whining you have here.

Anyway:

Successor chapters Tempest Dragons, Mirage Dragons, Dragon Guard, Storm Dragons, Nova Dragons, Steel Dragons,...

- That's fairly big number for Chapter with questionable gene-seed. To sire a successor is special honour or reward, thus such league is unlikely.

They were thought lost 401.M34 because of the incident known as The Howling had caused the Sub-sector they entered in persuit of an enemy, whose name is lost to the ravages of time, to be devoured by an enourmous Warp-Storm, but were later able to find a single stable path that allowed them to reconnect with the Imperium in the later half of the 35th millenium.

... and the point is? I'm not against the idea per se, but to me it looks like throw-away note, without any influence or impact on Chapter. (ie. something to be avoided)

Origins of the Empyreal Dragons

Again... and?

Also, at first it was unknown enemy, now it's warband of Tzeentch followers. hmmm... Seems like we are progressing somewhere.

The Chapter's homeworld of Darastrix Okarthel is primarily a Death-world that has trough the guidance and leadership of the Chapter risen from a Medieval to a partially space faring civilization.

Ahem, what is the point of being Death World at the beginning then? Moreover, Chapters recruit from death worlds because the environment here breeds worthy aspirants. Turning it into civilized planet is quite contra productive.

The purpose of Homeworld section is to provide the DIY with a source of culture it can draws upon (basically plot device). Fenris is Scandinavia, Bhaal is Fallout-esque world, Ultramar is space Rome/Sparta et cetera et cetera. *looks around*

Combat Doctrine

The Chapter is known for attacking weak points in the enemies defences and then performing Lightning Strikes on tacticaly important locations to cripple the enemies force and finish them of in the most effective way.

Hmm, so they are Space Marines. Good to know.

Chapter Traditions and Culture

The Chapter is a Divergent Codex Chapter in the since that it has a larger number of specialist troops and their own doctrine, the Cult of The Will Of The Dragon. The Cult paces high-emphasis on self-reliance, knowledge, self-sacrifice, loyalty, adaptability and a strong belief that things can change for the better.

Yeah, and they hate the Changer of Ways above else. Hilarious.

at that time a Crusading Chapter is created and sent out into the Imperium to hunt down the enemies of Mankind

Only High Lords of Terra can sanction a creation of new Chapter.

Organization

First off, This is huge mess, you either don't understand the progression of marine through the ranks or you deliberately ignore it. I'm not sure what is worse.

Second, there is a lot of name changes for the sake of change. I don't see any reason to warrant this.

Geneseed

The knowledge of the Progenitor of the Empyreal Dragons is lost to the ages, but few speculate that they are a successor chapter of the Salamanders. What Imperial records can confirm is that during the initial testing faze all subjects that have finished the organ inplantation process have had their psychic pressence inhanced along with a minor warp-sence.

Eh, stronger psychic presence means that you look more tastier to predators of Warp a-and it also means your Chapter will be ridden with random mutations and idiosyncrasies. This is certainly not the first case of such gene-seed.

Upon finally reaching the Hatchery the Aspirant gaze upon a field of giant stasis pods similar to eggs.

*facepalm*

Anything but this... it totally kills the Suspension of Unbelief.

*+*+*+*

Conclusion:
I disagree to a degree with the previous posters. Indeed there is wall'o text, but the amount of information it contains is de facto marginal. Moreover, vast majority of information is presented without any continuity or context. The fine example is *Specialty Anti-psyker specialization, Anti-demon specialization* at the beginning of the article, this statement is not expanded upon later in the article, for starters in combat doctrine where one expects it to be, it's only briefly noted as pretext for the friendship with Grey Knights.

So, yes. You need consistency; therefore make a summary or outline of your Chapter.

~ NightrawenII

[Gripharius]

 

I disagree to a degree with the previous posters. Indeed there is wall'o text, but the amount of information it contains is de facto marginal. Moreover, vast majority of information is presented without any continuity or context. The fine example is *Specialty Anti-psyker specialization, Anti-demon specialization* at the beginning of the article, this statement is not expanded upon later in the article, for starters in combat doctrine where one expects it to be, it's only briefly noted as pretext for the friendship with Grey Knights.

 

So, yes. You need consistency; therefore make a summary or outline of your Chapter.

 

I don't think you disagree with what us previous posters are saying as much as how we are saying it. :LOL:

[igor94wow]

LOL. That's a lot apologising and whining you have here.

Anyway:

Successor chapters Tempest Dragons, Mirage Dragons, Dragon Guard, Storm Dragons, Nova Dragons, Steel Dragons,...

- That's fairly big number for Chapter with questionable gene-seed. To sire a successor is special honour or reward, thus such league is unlikely.

>

They were thought lost 401.M34 because of the incident known as The Howling had caused the Sub-sector they entered in persuit of an enemy, whose name is lost to the ravages of time, to be devoured by an enourmous Warp-Storm, but were later able to find a single stable path that allowed them to reconnect with the Imperium in the later half of the 35th millenium.

... and the point is? I'm not against the idea per se, but to me it looks like throw-away note, without any influence or impact on Chapter. (ie. something to be avoided)

Origins of the Empyreal Dragons

Again... and?

Also, at first it was unknown enemy, now it's warband of Tzeentch followers. hmmm... Seems like we are progressing somewhere.

The Chapter's homeworld of Darastrix Okarthel is primarily a Death-world that has trough the guidance and leadership of the Chapter risen from a Medieval to a partially space faring civilization.

Ahem, what is the point of being Death World at the beginning then? Moreover, Chapters recruit from death worlds because the environment here breeds worthy aspirants. Turning it into civilized planet is quite contra productive.

The purpose of Homeworld section is to provide the DIY with a source of culture it can draws upon (basically plot device). Fenris is Scandinavia, Bhaal is Fallout-esque world, Ultramar is space Rome/Sparta et cetera et cetera. *looks around*

Combat Doctrine

The Chapter is known for attacking weak points in the enemies defences and then performing Lightning Strikes on tacticaly important locations to cripple the enemies force and finish them of in the most effective way.

Hmm, so they are Space Marines. Good to know.

Chapter Traditions and Culture

The Chapter is a Divergent Codex Chapter in the since that it has a larger number of specialist troops and their own doctrine, the Cult of The Will Of The Dragon. The Cult paces high-emphasis on self-reliance, knowledge, self-sacrifice, loyalty, adaptability and a strong belief that things can change for the better.

Yeah, and they hate the Changer of Ways above else. Hilarious.

at that time a Crusading Chapter is created and sent out into the Imperium to hunt down the enemies of Mankind

Only High Lords of Terra can sanction a creation of new Chapter.

Organization

First off, This is huge mess, you either don't understand the progression of marine through the ranks or you deliberately ignore it. I'm not sure what is worse.

Second, there is a lot of name changes for the sake of change. I don't see any reason to warrant this.

Geneseed

The knowledge of the Progenitor of the Empyreal Dragons is lost to the ages, but few speculate that they are a successor chapter of the Salamanders. What Imperial records can confirm is that during the initial testing faze all subjects that have finished the organ inplantation process have had their psychic pressence inhanced along with a minor warp-sence.

Eh, stronger psychic presence means that you look more tastier to predators of Warp a-and it also means your Chapter will be ridden with random mutations and idiosyncrasies. This is certainly not the first case of such gene-seed.

Upon finally reaching the Hatchery the Aspirant gaze upon a field of giant stasis pods similar to eggs.

*facepalm*

Anything but this... it totally kills the Suspension of Unbelief.

*+*+*+*

Conclusion:

I disagree to a degree with the previous posters. Indeed there is wall'o text, but the amount of information it contains is de facto marginal. Moreover, vast majority of information is presented without any continuity or context. The fine example is *Specialty Anti-psyker specialization, Anti-demon specialization* at the beginning of the article, this statement is not expanded upon later in the article, for starters in combat doctrine where one expects it to be, it's only briefly noted as pretext for the friendship with Grey Knights.

So, yes. You need consistency; therefore make a summary or outline of your Chapter.

~ NightrawenII

1. The Warp Storm that traped them lasted an 1000+ years standard Imperial time while inside much more time had passed. During that time all the planets were scoured garnisoned and constantly assaulted by demons and their masters. All planets had to be populated and guarded so none would fall and give the Chaos forces a foothold in reality. That meant vast colonization from current Sector populace. As time passed so did the enemies start attacking periodicly, and by the end of the storm they almost completely ceased. At the first chance of rest the Chapter found its numbers have swelled from the strong populace and so they chose per Codex order to divide. Trough time their numbers would repeatedly grow and at those times a new Chapter formed and another world would gain permanent residence.

2.Lords of Terra had no influence in the forming of the successors, but if the Chapter didnt divide they woudnt have been as effective at defending the Sector from constant threats, or their own existence.

3.The Geneseed of the Chapter has been under the scrutiny of the Ordos and the Mechanicum and all they have been able to discover is that it is stable and pure.

(Blood Ravens - lots of psykers, no known mutations)

~igor94wow

[NightrawenII]

1. The Warp Storm that traped them lasted an 1000+ years standard Imperial time while inside much more time had passed. During that time all the planets were scoured garnisoned and constantly assaulted by demons and their masters. All planets had to be populated and guarded so none would fall and give the Chaos forces a foothold in reality. That meant vast colonization from current Sector populace. As time passed so did the enemies start attacking periodicly, and by the end of the storm they almost completely ceased. At the first chance of rest the Chapter found its numbers have swelled from the strong populace and so they chose per Codex order to divide. Trough time their numbers would repeatedly grow and at those times a new Chapter formed and another world would gain permanent residence.

Logical fallacy.

Not a single nation or state has prospered and expanded in the time of war. The attrition rate of manpower and materiél consumed by the conflict is high. Furthermore, there are another factors.

 

#A The Chaos daemons are forminable and dangerous opponents even for the Space Marine. The Grey Knights are a very good, if indirect, evidence of that. Therefore the losses in conflict with such creatures will be inevitably high.

#B The attrition is Space Marines weakness; the time, effort and resources necessary for creation of Space Marine are factors which prevents rapid recovery of numbers.

 

All things considered, the Chapter will (desperately) struggle to keep its numbers up, not flourish as you propose. Fact.

 

 

3. The Geneseed of the Chapter has been under the scrutiny of the Ordos and the Mechanicum and all they have been able to discover is that it is stable and pure.

(Blood Ravens - lots of psykers, no known mutations)

Unfortunately, what you propose is in spite of the known evidence. The psychic mutation of gene-seed will invite further mutations and idiosyncrasies, saying otherwise is just wishful thinking. It's exactly what happened to Thousand Sons.

 

Second. The use of BR as precedent is rather weak. According to IA: Blood Ravens (GW web) there is no conclusive evidence of link between the number of Librarians and BR's gene-seed. Indeed, the article explains the unusual number of psykers as the result of traditions and recruitment practices. In addition, their gene-seed is relatively stable with little evidence of mutation.

 

 

~ NightrawenII

[igor94wow]

1. The Warp Storm that traped them lasted an 1000+ years standard Imperial time while inside much more time had passed. During that time all the planets were scoured garnisoned and constantly assaulted by demons and their masters. All planets had to be populated and guarded so none would fall and give the Chaos forces a foothold in reality. That meant vast colonization from current Sector populace. As time passed so did the enemies start attacking periodicly, and by the end of the storm they almost completely ceased. At the first chance of rest the Chapter found its numbers have swelled from the strong populace and so they chose per Codex order to divide. Trough time their numbers would repeatedly grow and at those times a new Chapter formed and another world would gain permanent residence.

Logical fallacy.

Not a single nation or state has prospered and expanded in the time of war. The attrition rate of manpower and materiél consumed by the conflict is high. Furthermore, there are another factors.

#A The Chaos daemons are forminable and dangerous opponents even for the Space Marine. The Grey Knights are a very good, if indirect, evidence of that. Therefore the losses in conflict with such creatures will be inevitably high.

#B The attrition is Space Marines weakness; the time, effort and resources necessary for creation of Space Marine are factors which prevents rapid recovery of numbers.

All things considered, the Chapter will (desperately) struggle to keep its numbers up, not flourish as you propose. Fact.

3. The Geneseed of the Chapter has been under the scrutiny of the Ordos and the Mechanicum and all they have been able to discover is that it is stable and pure.

(Blood Ravens - lots of psykers, no known mutations)

Unfortunately, what you propose is in spite of the known evidence. The psychic mutation of gene-seed will invite further mutations and idiosyncrasies, saying otherwise is just wishful thinking. It's exactly what happened to Thousand Sons.

Second. The use of BR as precedent is rather weak. According to IA: Blood Ravens (GW web) there is no conclusive evidence of link between the number of Librarians and BR's gene-seed. Indeed, the article explains the unusual number of psykers as the result of traditions and recruitment practices. In addition, their gene-seed is relatively stable with little evidence of mutation.

~ NightrawenII

Not a single nation or state has prospered and expanded in the time of war. The attrition rate of manpower and materiél consumed by the conflict is high. Furthermore, there are another factors.Logical fallacy.

#A The Chaos daemons are forminable and dangerous opponents even for the Space Marine. The Grey Knights are a very good, if indirect, evidence of that. Therefore the losses in conflict with such creatures will be inevitably high.

#B The attrition is Space Marines weakness; the time, effort and resources necessary for creation of Space Marine are factors which prevents rapid recovery of numbers.

All things considered, the Chapter will (desperately) struggle to keep its numbers up, not flourish as you propose. Fact.

http://warhammer40kfanon.wikia.com/wiki/Darastix_Okarthel

Sector had and still has wast draconic species that are highly agressive against warp denizens which were tamed or directed against the warpspawn. They are still used even now and a sub-species has even been gifted with Imperial citisenship (not full citisenship). The flora as well the fauna are agressive against the warp and even feed on certain energies weakening the demons presence slightly. The chapter implements this flora as insence, flamer fuel, tatto ink,... Simply they have united with the worlds themselves that they protect to banish the nightmares. As well i repeat with each passing day since their intrapment the demons slowly weakend and it became harder to breach reality.

Unfortunately, what you propose is in spite of the known evidence. The psychic mutation of gene-seed will invite further mutations and idiosyncrasies, saying otherwise is just wishful thinking. It's exactly what happened to Thousand Sons.

Second. The use of BR as precedent is rather weak. According to IA: Blood Ravens (GW web) there is no conclusive evidence of link between the number of Librarians and BR's gene-seed. Indeed, the article explains the unusual number of psykers as the result of traditions and recruitment practices. In addition, their gene-seed is relatively stable with little evidence of mutation.

The Hatchery pods fixed it. Ancient technology, what can you do?

[Gripharius]

You just cited 40k fanon -- that I think you created -- to explain away a clear fallacy. Then you just deus ex machina'd another main point of established 40k fluff.

 

You've also basically ignored all the other comments in this thread.

 

Clearly, you don't want true comment and criticism, you're just looking "That is so awesome!"s.

 

Well, it's not awesome. It's a big, jumbled, poorly written mess with a whole bunch of words and meaningless facts that don't really make an IA at all. Its deviances from established fluff are unexplained, undercutting its credibility. It's repetitive and unnecessarily detailed. It has potential, but it needs a lot of work.

[NightrawenII]

@Gripharius

Why so angry? If he doesn't want to listen to advice, that's just his problem, neither mine nor yours.

Looking at your join date and number of posts... I would give you an advice as a cynical experienced Liberite. It's sad fact but Liber attracts all sorts of people, not just reasonable or level-headed, sometimes you will encounter opinionated trolls and/or upstarts, convinced of their superiority. Don't let them get you, otherwise you're going bald, fast.

~ NightrawenII

[Ecritter]

As an opinionated upstart ... I take offense to that. 

 

EDIT:

 

I do love the fact that he only asked for "positive" feedback. :D

[NightrawenII]

As an opinionated upstart ... I take offense to that.

EDIT:

I do love the fact that he only asked for "positive" feedback.

Eh, why? Being opinionated upstart is your redeeming feature. Also, the gifted people have privilege to receive a "negative" feedback instead.

~ NightrawenII

[Warsmith Aznable]

The Liber can be a cold dash of water to the face sometimes. Any critique session can be, and probably should be. It's OK and normal as long as it's constructive criticism, and I give someone not a native English speaker the benefit of the doubt that this is what they mean when asking for only "positive feedback", because it's unrealistic and unhelpful to only want to hear people agreeing with you.

 

There is nothing here that a lot of people, including myself, haven't done when working on their first iteration. The impulse to write out everything is strong in creative roleplayer types, and I'm assuming there is an RPG element here from the Combat Doctrine section that has Deathwatch instructions in it.

 

Don't be discouraged or take anything too personally.

[Gripharius]

I didn't mean to come off as angry or insulting. I was just trying to be honest and straightforward.

[igor94wow]

Guys its ok. I dont mind your comments.

Yes some of the stuff i wrote mite be wrong or badly explained, but this was all mostly written in a 2-day inspiration session during winter break, and know im kinda busy with school and graduation to rework and recheck my work.

 

'Positive' feedback means feedback that can help me better my marines, to me negative feedback is only feedback that has no explanations just rants about how something is bad.

 

As well some thing i left vague so those that would add my marines in they campaigns or whatever can have some freedom to fill in the blanks.

Like how exactly did the Chapter survive their entrapment in the Warpstorm, or how the pods really work (although most things in the Imperium just work and everybody is just greatfull they do). I just followed the example of Black Library (Vulcans Relics, Blood Ravens Unknown Prtimarch,etc.)

 

And i used several First Founding Chapters for reference in my 'brainstorm' combining Salamanders(equipment and philosophy), Raven Guard(tactics), Blood Angels(tactics and philosophy and gene-seed) and Space Wolves(Fortress-monastry).