IA: Clan Bracchus - Iron Hand Clan Company - May 27 Complete

[Aqui]

Did Aquilanus just welcome me to the tenth? I've been active in the Iron Hands scene for at least five years on this forum, in fact I welcomed you aboard when your Steel Wings made their debut and have actively commented on stuff in Purge the Weak, Codex: Iron Hands, and numerous other Iron Hands related topics! Am I so forgettable? *sigh*

Apologies if I offended you, but I tend to forget a lot after a day like yesterday.

[Ravenfeld]

Haha, no my friend, not offended. Maybe a little disappointed at how unmemorable I am compared to DEF and Basswave, but it is what it is. I'm not as active as I once was in the old Index Astartes. We all have bad days, hope you feel better!

 

Try using full editor, and you can open the BBCoding too if that's a problem ... but I don't have to do that every time, just use full editor and I don't have problems.

 

I do use the full editor and the bbcoding as well, I think that is part of the problem. Whenever I make too many edits it messes everything up, things explode, people die.. you know, the standard horror one would come to expect when trying to make a nicely formatted article. Haha!

[Aqui]

Haha, no my friend, not offended. Maybe a little disappointed at how unmemorable I am compared to DEF and Basswave, but it is what it is. I'm not as active as I once was in the old Index Astartes. We all have bad days, hope you feel better!

Try using full editor, and you can open the BBCoding too if that's a problem ... but I don't have to do that every time, just use full editor and I don't have problems.

I do use the full editor and the bbcoding as well, I think that is part of the problem. Whenever I make too many edits it messes everything up, things explode, people die.. you know, the standard horror one would come to expect when trying to make a nicely formatted article. Haha!

I've had another scan of your op. I can't see anything that is out of place for an Iron Hands Clan. I'm really pushed to find anything to fault (save perhaps the length [as I said before a personal preference], problem is the vast majority of it gives the IA more "flavour" and it'd be hard to edit it down in size without losing a lot of that). Perhaps you've nailed it?

Regarding the BBcode problems, have you switched it "off" using the light switch icon directly above the B(old) icon? It allows you to edit everything far easier. I've recently done that and I've had no problems since.

[Ravenfeld]

Haha, no my friend, not offended. Maybe a little disappointed at how unmemorable I am compared to DEF and Basswave, but it is what it is. I'm not as active as I once was in the old Index Astartes. We all have bad days, hope you feel better!

Try using full editor, and you can open the BBCoding too if that's a problem ... but I don't have to do that every time, just use full editor and I don't have problems.

I do use the full editor and the bbcoding as well, I think that is part of the problem. Whenever I make too many edits it messes everything up, things explode, people die.. you know, the standard horror one would come to expect when trying to make a nicely formatted article. Haha!

I've had another scan of your op. I can't see anything that is out of place for an Iron Hands Clan. I'm really pushed to find anything to fault (save perhaps the length [as I said before a personal preference], problem is the vast majority of it gives the IA more "flavour" and it'd be hard to edit it down in size without losing a lot of that). Perhaps you've nailed it?

Regarding the BBcode problems, have you switched it "off" using the light switch icon directly above the B(old) icon? It allows you to edit everything far easier. I've recently done that and I've had no problems since.

Yeah its a little long, but that is in part due to the hierarchy and in part do the the origin story. Working within the confines of an established chapter forced me to really push the envelope to deliver something unique yet still sharing in the character of the chapter, and sadly in order to do that I had to put some length into it. I'm glad you enjoyed it on the whole despite its length. If I did indeed "nail it" then I will be pretty shocked. I've had a few lengthy discussions with people in other topics about how difficult it is to make a good IA article, so I would be beyond amazed that some of the hardcore critics in the Liber can't find something to hit me for (aside from length ;) ). If no criticisms are forth coming though I'll be happy and maybe I'll see if I can get it inured into the archives, haha!

As for the code, I've been messing around with it since the update, like to consider myself "semi-compotent" at the very least, I mean I've used it with the switch on, off, in quick edit, full edit, and all sorts of combinations of each without encountering these issues. Granted most of my posts aren't quite this lengthy and rarely include extensive use of pics and external links, not to mention bullet points! The continual repair work is something I won't miss when its all over.

So Aquil, to put you on the spot. What do you like the most?

[Ecritter]

What I like is its completeness, what I dislike is its length but that goes hand in hand with the completeness.

[Aqui]

So Aquil, to put you on the spot. What do you like the most?

The origins more than anything. The parts outlining Clan organisation are good, but to me, the origins are far more important.

[Ravenfeld]

Okay guys, but anything specific you like in particular? A concept or idea you think is neat? Something we could talk about, that I could elaborate on? Looking for a point of discussion haha! Either way I would love to talk about something in the article, whether it be through criticism or praise. I just really want to get a feel for what stands out and what doesn't.

 

For example, the Trial of the Void got a lot of feedback in the original article. A lot of people thought that murdering a clan member was fruitless, needlessly brutal, and just out there. So I explained my reasoning, and the dialogue really got me thinking and forced me to analyze what I was trying to say. That sort of brainstorming is really what makes writing this stuff so enjoyable for me. I like being challenged creatively and I like being held to the expectations of my peers. It gives me the drive to really aspire and give it my all!

 

Thanks again for reading!

[Messor]

You guys found it long? I really didn't think it was particularly long. If there were any trimmable fat, though, I'd say it's in the origins section. Even that though, is pretty much just fine as is for me. Regarding the editor: copy and paste to your outside source/backup before any change. I tend to not to have any problems as long as I stick with either the BBcode editor or the 'media' editor. If I switch between them during an edit, things are guaranteed to get broken.

[Ecritter]

Okay, not really that its long .. but its just a lot of information.  It tells me a lot about the chapter, but not much is exciting enough to draw me in.  Thats what I mean by long.

[jokaero weaponsmith]

I didn't think your article was too long , subheadings helped break it down, nothing I noticed was superfluous. As for viewings vs comments there are a lot of lurkers, I'm guiltily of that too . Even some of the hot topics like 1000 heathens topic the views are disproportionate to the comments .

But I think the Iron Hands clan council needs to convene with your bb code problems and orginal articles deletion your clan seems to be touched by the dark mechanicus.

[Ravenfeld]

Alright guys!

 

I think it's done, or at least I've filled in all the information! So those of you who were waiting for it to be finish before commenting have at it! And those of you who have been with me the whole way, thanks again.

 

I will eventually make another two topics. One detailing the timeline and contributions of the clan in historic battles, and another outlining the current clan's members and their individual deeds and perceptions. The latter will also be where I post painted models as they are produced. So keep you're eyes peeled!

Thanks again everyone,

Raven

[BassWave]

Apologies for not commenting on this sooner Ravenfeld Your IA is excellent and very in depth. I definitely liked how you interwove your clans history with our chapter's most notable events. I have maybe two models in my army named, and here you are with an entire background, guess I better get cracking eh? :P Congrats on finishing this project, you showed some implacable resolve in finishing it even after losing most of your work when the forum updated. Ferrus would be proud :tu:

[Ravenfeld]

Apologies for not commenting on this sooner Ravenfeld Your IA is excellent and very in depth. I definitely liked how you interwove your clans history with our chapter's most notable events. I have maybe two models in my army named, and here you are with an entire background, guess I better get cracking eh? Congrats on finishing this project, you showed some implacable resolve in finishing it even after losing most of your work when the forum updated. Ferrus would be proud

Thank you sir, and apology accepted

I am glad you enjoyed it despite its length. I found that in order to make my clan feel real I had to touch base on at least some of the established lore of the chapter. I mean when I get down to the knitty-gritty with my next segment (Heroes of Bracchus, or some such, detailing the models / fluff behind the models) I'll touch on some of the other notable battles as well.

Well yeah you should get cracking! Procrastination is a weakness after all .

Thanks again, it was tremendously difficult to find that itch again and get back in the saddle. Its hard to lose something you worked hard on, especially when you know you're the one to blame for not backing it up in the first place!

[Lysimachus]

 

Hey RF, as promised I’ve tried to have a look at this in more detail. Overall, I like it, mostly it ties in nicely with the IH fluff and is well written. However, I’m not going to bang on about all the bits I like as they’re already good! There are a few bits that bother me though.

 

NB. I've not read through all of the other comments, 'fresh eyes' and all that, so if any of this has already been discussed, my apologies.

 

 

 

Firstly, I wasn’t sure from what you’ve written but are you suggesting that the original settlers of Medusa came from your ship? If you are I could see that being a bit of a problem as why isn’t it in GW’s IH IA. Also, if it is you’d think it’d be a bigger deal to all the clans, and by extension to all the Chapter?

 

Secondly, I have never pictured the IH as in any way religious, with the possible exception of borderline worship of the Omnissiah (and even that in a very practical way). Your guys feel almost BT-ish?

Thirdly, while I like all the details about the Clan structure and trials of initiation, it does honestly get a little boring by the end (sorry, no offence intended). Although I’d agree that more or less any Chapter would have a similar number/variety of traditions, IA’s generally don’t focus that closely. I think a lot of what you’ve written could be summed up in a paragraph or two without losing any of the flavour.

 

Fourthly, and funnily enough by far my biggest problem with the whole thing, is this bit:

 

 

The Spire: - Ancient and Potent Technology of a Lost Age

Once a tool to traverse the hostile and unforgiving universe, then a holy icon of paramount reverence, and now a combination of the two. The spire of Golgoth is an  advanced relic from an age long before the Emperor united the warring people of Terra under his banner, and it represents an enigma of technology that even the tech priests of mars have been unable to unlock completely. Mounted atop the great land behemoth of Clan Bracchus, the spire acts as the center of the clans intergalactic
communications. Strike Forces from all over the galaxy are able to communicate without impairment, unhindered by the fickle ebb and flow of the warp. This allows the Keepers of Clan Bracchus to orchestrate extremely accurate logistic plans over vast distances without fear of mishap or miscommunication, opening up windows of opportunity that other branches of the Imperium may miss out on. It is this holy relic that allows the Meteor Strikes of the clan to land on worlds in need of aid, or to
organize the movements of their fleet with little error, the spire is a tool that has allowed the Clan's forces to excel at out maneuvering the enemies of the Emperor for thousands of years.

I’m sorry, but this feels more than a little bit M.I.S.S. (I’m figuring you probably know this but just in case, it’s ‘Me, I’m So Super). Accurate, reliable, not affected by the warp, interstellar communication would be an insanely massive deal. The whole Chapter would want to use it, and why would Bracchus deny their brothers access to something that would be so beneficial? In that case, why wouldn’t we have heard about it in the IH IA?

 

Even more than this, if the Ad Mech/Ad Terra know about it, why would they not have insisted on taking it back to Terra/Mars where it could benefit the whole Imperium? Or at very least, if they allowed them to keep it, they would be constantly using it to transmit messages in and out for them, turning Medusa into a communications hub for the entire Imperium. Again, which we would've heard about.
 

This technology would be too important to allow one Chapter to hoard, let alone one Company of one Chapter.

 

Again, not trying to be off with you, just pointing out some issues. Hope this is of some use to you, and as I said overall it’s a nice article.

 

Cheers

Lysimachus

 

[Ravenfeld]

Hey RF, as promised I’ve tried to have a look at this in more detail. Overall, I like it, mostly it ties in nicely with the IH fluff and is well written. However, I’m not going to bang on about all the bits I like as they’re already good! There are a few bits that bother me though.

 

NB. I've not read through all of the other comments, 'fresh eyes' and all that, so if any of this has already been discussed, my apologies.

 

Thanks for taking the time, I know it's a sizable article! I wouldn't mind knowing what it is you enjoyed the most ;)

 

Alright, lets get to it!

 

Firstly, I wasn’t sure from what you’ve written but are you suggesting that the original settlers of Medusa came from your ship? If you are I could see that being a bit of a problem as why isn’t it in GW’s IH IA. Also, if it is you’d think it’d be a bigger deal to all the clans, and by extension to all the Chapter?

 

That was not my intent, actually I intended my survivors to be "the new kids on the block" with the original people of Medusa having already struggled for survival on the planet for a undetermined amount of time. The crash landing brought the ancestors of my clan to the planet but it was by no means meant to make a claim as being the catalyst for the entire Medusan population. In fact I strove to highlight that distinction, so I may need to go back and touch up my wording. In short, no they aren't the original source of humanity on the planet.

 

Secondly, I have never pictured the IH as in any way religious, with the possible exception of borderline worship of the Omnissiah (and even that in a very practical way). Your guys feel almost BT-ish?

 

I wanted to outline the ascension of the people. Their mortal counter-parts are still very much entrenched in what amounts to ancestor worship at this point, but the Astartes are very much about the Imperial Truth and the destruction of the enemies of the Imperium. I tried to paint a picture of their development from a technologically advance group of survivors, to a devolving society, to a loose knit tribal culture that paid homage to their forbears, to a "clan" that took that homage to another level of actual religious worship. That then transformed into a sort of code of conduct when Manus finally swayed the Clan over, and as time has past it has almost reverted to paying homage and less of a religious fervor. The "commandments" of the Bracchian Creed were adapted to be more practical and to not conflict with the Emperor's will during the Great Crusade, and 10,000 years have seen it become even less of a religion and more of a aforementioned code to live by. Atleast that was my intent.

 

Thirdly, while I like all the details about the Clan structure and trials of initiation, it does honestly get a little boring by the end (sorry, no offence intended). Although I’d agree that more or less any Chapter would have a similar number/variety of traditions, IA’s generally don’t focus that closely. I think a lot of what you’ve written could be summed up in a paragraph or two without losing any of the flavour.

 

My biggest hurtle was the Hierarchy, I just can't make it work without feeling like I am droning on and on. What I would like to do is make a picture like the one found in Wrath of Iron to detail the structure here, and then go into more detail in a seperate article where I can post pictures of models and go over their individual histories and accomplishments. I am rather fond of the belief section, however, and I think that it offers enough to remain interesting. I personally think its the wading through that hierarchy is what kills it.. I need to look into that.

 

Any specific suggestions on how to make the alterations, I'm all ears.

 

 

Fourthly, and funnily enough by far my biggest problem with the whole thing, is this bit:

 

The Spire: - Ancient and Potent Technology of a Lost Age

 

Once a tool to traverse the hostile and unforgiving universe, then a holy icon of paramount reverence, and now a combination of the two. The spire of Golgoth is an  advanced relic from an age long before the Emperor united the warring people of Terra under his banner, and it represents an enigma of technology that even the tech priests of mars have been unable to unlock completely. Mounted atop the great land behemoth of Clan Bracchus, the spire acts as the center of the clans intergalactic

communications. Strike Forces from all over the galaxy are able to communicate without impairment, unhindered by the fickle ebb and flow of the warp. This allows the Keepers of Clan Bracchus to orchestrate extremely accurate logistic plans over vast distances without fear of mishap or miscommunication, opening up windows of opportunity that other branches of the Imperium may miss out on. It is this holy relic that allows the Meteor Strikes of the clan to land on worlds in need of aid, or to

organize the movements of their fleet with little error, the spire is a tool that has allowed the Clan's forces to excel at out maneuvering the enemies of the Emperor for thousands of years.

I’m sorry, but this feels more than a little bit M.I.S.S. (I’m figuring you probably know this but just in case, it’s ‘Me, I’m So Super). Accurate, reliable, not affected by the warp, interstellar communication would be an insanely massive deal. The whole Chapter would want to use it, and why would Bracchus deny their brothers access to something that would be so beneficial? In that case, why wouldn’t we have heard about it in the IH IA?

 

Even more than this, if the Ad Mech/Ad Terra know about it, why would they not have insisted on taking it back to Terra/Mars where it could benefit the whole Imperium? Or at very least, if they allowed them to keep it, they would be constantly using it to transmit messages in and out for them, turning Medusa into a communications hub for the entire Imperium. Again, which we would've heard about.

 

This technology would be too important to allow one Chapter to hoard, let alone one Company of one Chapter.

 

Again, not trying to be off with you, just pointing out some issues. Hope this is of some use to you, and as I said overall it’s a nice article.

 

Cheers

 

Lysimachus

 

You may be right, I just really wanted to tie into the fact that the Beneficium was from an Age before the loss of all the great technology of mankind, something to highlight their heritage and beliefs with something tangible. That being said, you're right in so far as the rest of the Chapter would likely make use of the relay, and that would have to be written into the actual fluff for the Chapter. I will find time to tone it down slightly to make it more plausible. Any suggestions on how to tone it down without making it too mundane or removing it entirely?

 

Thanks for taking the time, I would love to trim the fat to make it more accessible to a larger audience, but I feel I needed to be detailed in order to build something unique within a pre-existing structure. With a fresh IA that has no perimeters aside from basic, over-arching 40k fluff it is easy to be more concise because you can focus on what makes the whole of the chapter unique and different. I feel for a Clan Company I needed to magnify in closer and highlight both the similarities and differences Bracchus has from the standard Iron Hand template. That was actually fairly challenging on the whole.