The Heralds of Salvation

[Plaguecaster]

Hey here is my DIY Renegade chapter the Heralds of Salvation a death worshipping Chapter who were destroyed by the Impeium for their using forbidden tech to try bringing the dead back to life  their actions pleased Nurgle so much the Chapter rose from the grave to bring the salvation of death to the living. I used the Disciples of the dark gods for the basias as well as tye black lantern corps as well. still a WIP so a few sections need to be done with the origins expanded more , I hope you stick around offering advice and feedback helping me to help me develop my undead space marine chapter .

 

 

The Restless Dead

The Heralds of Salvation

 

Origins

An ancient chapter whose loyalty was once unquestionable beyond doubt, the Heralds of Salvation morbid obsession with death  eventually led to them being declared traitors by the imperium. Through the use of forbidden tech they sought to save humanity by transcending death in order to untie humanity to utterly destroy all Xenos to fulfill the Emperors vision who they sought to bring back to life. 

Originally founded using the Geneseed of the Iron Hands during the M33, the chapter patrolled vulnerable worlds in the
Segmentum Pacificius their obsession with death giving them a fanatic zeal persecuting the enemies of the Imperium gaining a great
many battle honours against foul Xenos and renegades. With the outbreak of the Nova Terra Interregnum the Heralds were ruthless in
their personal war against those they accused of weakness using their terror tactics and other extreme measures to completely annihilate their enemy, whilst at first the Eccelesiarchy praised their efforts the chapters countless atrocities eventually angered the Imperium as they were reducing valuable worlds which were meant to be reclaimed were instead reduced to worthless husks their populations made insane by fear. Eventually in the aftermath the chapter were put on trial for their ruthless tactics being found guilty by the High Lords of Terra, for the chapter's crimes their home world was destroyed with all records of it purged with the chapter forced to endure a penitent crusade forbidden from recruiting new brethren until the Imperium deemed them absolved of their crimes. Whilst officially assigned a death sentence the chapter Herald bore their punishment with grim impassivity and obedience their faith in the Imperium and the Emperor keeping them going as their fleet made their way to the western fringes of the Segmentum Pacificus to bring the Emperors wrath beyond the edges of the Imperium. However over the centuries with the countless casualties the chapter suffered which they were unable to replace they slowly began to doubt the Imperium which had forsaken them, in desperation the chapters worship of the Empeoror and Death became more fanatical their rituals as well as beliefs becoming more of a darker nature as they tried proving they were not weak of faith. The Crypt Lord Michael Alexander who had risen to lead the chapter following their exile gained the unyielding loyalty of his chapter as he experienced visions form their God Death which Michael claimed would lead them to their salvation which would save the Imperium and it was in the Sarcosa sub-sector that the chapter found the Salvation they craved.





Homeworld and base of operations: (Still to come)

Sarcos:


Graveyard of lost Souls:


Combat Doctrine: (Still to come)

Organisation: (Still to come)




Beliefs:
Through the corrupt beliefs of their home world the Heralds of Salvation developed a morbid chapter cult known as the Brethren of the Risen in which they fanatically revered Death as a god who they saw as the one true power in the galaxy that none could resist with the Emperor being his chosen emissary who was martyred before Death's will could be fulfilled. Taking deep root within the chapter during their founding the cult eventually spread throughout the chapter during its early stages until over the years it eventually consumed the chapter with the chapter being governed by their cult guided by the Crypt Keepers and Crypt Lord who were the prophets of Death. The core belief of their morbid cult was founded on the principle that the Emperor who scarified himself for humanity would rise from the grave neither dead nor alive but a reborn image of Death deathless and eternal to usher in a new era to rival the great crusade in order to purge the galaxy of the unfaithful and foul Xenos proving mankind's divine right to rule.


Over time the chapter devotion to Death took on a dark nature through the degradation of their geneseed they became like carrion, feasting on the fallen with the chapter taking on a corpse like appearance which the Crypt Keepers saw as a sign they were closer their god Death . The chapter regarded the Credo Mortifax as their holy tome which dealt with the worship of the Revenant Emperor which the ch. Despite their morbid beliefs the Heralds of Salvation were utterly fanatical in their loyalty to the Imperium and the Emperor, however to others within in the Imperium they were forever viewed as little more than a bunch of zealots this did little to the chapter's faith as they saw their actions as the divine will of Death seeking salvation for the Imperium which they believed to be doomed to extinction by the hands of Xenos .



Geneseed:
The Heralds were founded as part of the 3rd founding using the Geneseed of the Iron Hands whilst their predecessor were pure without any mutation the Geneseed of the Heralds became debased and impure resulting in their hyper stimulated Omophagea. Over time the chapter became addicted to the processes of the Omophagea, actively consuming the flesh of their fallen enemies which began to be ritualised by the chapter seeing it as becoming one with death as well as denying the souls of their enemies an afterlife. Another mutation the chapter suffered in their geneseed was that every Battle Brother over a few years of being inducted into the chapter began to pale taking on a corpse like pallor further deepening the suspicion the Inquisition had about the chapter as well as other chapters that fought alongside them. Following their dark rebirth the chapters Geneseed has became corrupted beyond repair with the chapter unable to recruit new members this has not stopped them from replacing their fallen as they now use their foul necromancy to raise the dead  from the grave to fight for them. 

 

 

Battle Cry

Life is fleeting, Death is eternal

The Dead shall Rise!!!!

 

Chapter colours: Something dark with an ethereal look maybe green and black or blue.

 

 

Any advice will be greatly appreciated

[KroSha]

The first impression I get is "loyal zombie marines"? This is a massive contradiction in the accepted background. If they are loyal to the Emperor, then Grandfather Nurgle is unlikely to help them by raising their fallen. And if he did, they'd be possessed by Nurgle daemons, not loyal Astartes. What was the catalyst for attracting Nugle's attention?

 

Death cults amount the Astartes, okay, I can kind of get that, but it's very close to the line. As soon as they go to worshipping Death as a god, they aren't loyal any more and the Inquisition and every Imperial organisation they come into contact with is going to jump at them.

 

Why 3rd founding?

 

I like the geneseed malfunction, cannibal CSM is a great picture.

 

What forbidden tech did they have? STC? Xenos, even though they are rabidly anti-xenos?

 

My advice would be to remove the remaining loyalty to the Emperor, and run with the "cast out for being too extreme, Nurgle, anti-xenos, making the galaxy a place for human zombies only, cannibal CSM" idea.

 

You also need to look at the prose. Your text has lots of long, rambling sentences that make it hard to take in.

[Plaguecaster]

The first impression I get is "loyal zombie marines"? This is a massive contradiction in the accepted background. If they are loyal to the Emperor, then Grandfather Nurgle is unlikely to help them by raising their fallen. And if he did, they'd be possessed by Nurgle daemons, not loyal Astartes. What was the catalyst for attracting Nugle's attention?

The Herlads would believe they are still loyal even though they turn to Nurgle if anything they would believe  they are still serving the Imperium slowly being corrupted to worship nurgle, the catalyst would be the Exile. Originally they would of been one of the most loyal chapters there was however being punished by the Imperium for their extreme actions would lead the chapter to feel doubt.... doubt about whether the living are worthy of the the chapters sacrifices since they allow weakness to infest the Imperium. When they are finally declared traitors they would believe they are betrayed by weaklings who have corrupted the Imperium's ideas, Nurgle who would of been slowly influencing the chapter through the Crypt Keepers who offer the Heralds the Salvation they crave in return for eternal service the chapter would agree being reborn as zombies

 

Death cults amount the Astartes, okay, I can kind of get that, but it's very close to the line. As soon as they go to worshipping Death as a god, they aren't loyal any more and the Inquisition and every Imperial organisation they come into contact with is going to jump at them.

They revered the Emperor as Death it was only after their exile that they would of turned to the worship of Nurgle who they believe is the true god of Death. They would of valued secrecy so they kept their customs and beliefs a secret from those they fought alongside seeing their religion as sacred. They worshipped the Emperor as the Revenant Emperor (basically the ultimate zombie) who they viewed as the perfect existence.

 

 

Why 3rd founding?

 

Just really only one of the earlier foundings I know roughly M33 isn't it, I wanted one of the earlier foundings so they would be able to be around before the Age of Apostasy so when it happens they can use the civil war to further their plans as well as explaining why the chapter was able to create such a massive army of zombies before they were discovered

I like the geneseed malfunction, cannibal CSM is a great picture.

 

What forbidden tech did they have? STC? Xenos, even though they are rabidly anti-xenos?

They would use the Sarcosan Wave Generator http://warhammer40k.wikia.com/wiki/Sarcosan_Wave_Generator a very intersting bit of dark tech in the Disciples of the Dark Gods roleplay book which is forbidden.

 

My advice would be to remove the remaining loyalty to the Emperor, and run with the "cast out for being too extreme, Nurgle, anti-xenos, making the galaxy a place for human zombies only, cannibal CSM" idea.

 

You also need to look at the prose. Your text has lots of long, rambling sentences that make it hard to take in.

Thanks I am working on my prose, I am just not that great and tend to ramble, working on more so should be some more in a few days or so.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Oriken Silverheart]

Just an FYI. The Calixis Sector, in which the Sarcosan region is found is located within Segmentum Obscurus to the galactic north. Your description states that the chapter's penitant was to the west, beyond the confines of the Pacificus.

[Plaguecaster]

Just an FYI. The Calixis Sector, in which the Sarcosan region is found is located within Segmentum Obscurus to the galactic north. Your description states that the chapter's penitant was to the west, beyond the confines of the Pacificus.

Really, that's strange the description in the disciples of the dark gods say it was the western fringes of Pacificius, I wonder if I should change it

[Conn Eremon]

Obscurus and Pacificus do border each other and even seem to overlap according to most maps.